I sighed over the telephone, changing my position so that I was sitting comfortably on the cold floor. My legs have gone numb for standing for almost an hour, listening to her heart wrenching voice and slow moans. I glanced to the clock on the wall and I sighed again.

"Maybe he really is sorry. He doesn't mean what he said. A blurt, out of self-control and heightened emotion…or reeling anger."

"He doesn't seem like a blurter!" she snapped. "He's a liar. He lied to me and I’m not going to forgive him. Never again! I'm breaking up with him."

I rolled my eyes. For a hundredth times she said that and for a hundredth times more, she got back to him. Forgiving for all of his mistakes and surrendering to his tempting pleas. "No, you're not. Please, Chaerin. Stop all of this nonsense. If you really love him, just accept of whom he really is and if he loves you, he'll never break your heart." Chaerin grew quieter on the other side. I heard her soft cries and my chest tightened. "Chae, I’m sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"No, it's okay. You're right. I mean...I’ve said it several times, am I? That I’m going to dump him...for real, but in the end...we're still together. And it has been two years now." I heard her forced laugh before she continued. "You must have thought I’m crazy, aren't you?"

"No, never," I answered instantly, feeling guilty for telling her my honest thought. I should’ve lied, like how I always do. Telling her what she wanted to hear rather than the truth. For years, I’ve been comforted her with lies and I can’t help of feeling sorry for that. Like how I can see her faint smile, she whispered softly, "Thank you, Seungri. You're the only one I’ve got. I don't know how to live without you."

Smiling to myself, I muttered, "Same here, I don't know how my life would be without you, messing with my days and nights. Begging me to buy you ice-cream every time you failed your exams or listening to your rambling while crying over some men who broke your heart." My smile grew wider as she laughed softly. "Honestly, I really don’t want to know."

"I love you, buddy. Thank you for always being here for me."

My heart throbbed and I bite my tongue. "I love you too."

I closed my eyes as I laid my back on the bed after the call ended. Her voice slowly seeped into my trail of thoughts. And so as her beautiful face, her chiming laughter and her dazzling smile.

I love you, buddy.

I grunted as I rolled to the side and my eyes caught a picture of us together, smiling happily last winter. She was rolling in the snow, covered in white dust and I was holding her hand. A smile stretched on my lips. She was too close to me until she didn't see a fool inside me who loved her crazily. We're always together, until she didn't realize that I don’t want to be just her friend. I wanted more than that. I want to be someone who was lucky enough to hold her hands, her hair and kiss her goodnight.

I wanted that, but somehow I end up being her best friend and listening to her sorrow mourning than listening to her sweet little voice calling my name and saying ‘I love you’.

And all I got was ‘thank you and I love you…Bestie’.

I sighed for a hundredth time. Loving her while staying at the friend zone was a headache and heartache.

My cellphone almost slipped off my hands as I juggled with keys to open the door to my apartment. Chaerin’s name flashed on the screen and I picked up her call before the line went dead.

“I’m just arrived. Can you hold it a moment? Let me have a sit first.” As soon as I stepped into the house, I the light, tossed the keys on the table and crushed onto the sofa. Swiping the sweat off my forehead, I wondered if she had a problem. She always called me before but this time, my heart did a flip like something bad had happened. “Hello, Chae. Hey, what’s wrong?”

“H-how are you?” she stuttered and I can’t help of feeling a little worry.

“Fine,” I replied shortly. I was more worry about her than myself. “And how are you? I saw you left the class in a rush. And I was late for my part time job, so I forgot to call you. Did something happen?”

I heard the sound of her taking a breath and she stayed quiet for a moment. “I missed him,” she paused. “I missed being with him. His sweet voice, his warm hugs and even how he smells…I think I’m going crazy.”

I closed my eyes as my heart broke. I took a deep breath, stared at the wall and the emptiness crept into my heart.

Pathetic and completely devastated.

I wanted to scream at her that you don’t miss him. You miss the company. The fact that you talked about anything and everything. The complicity. Smiles with hidden promises. Sudden kisses. Everlasting hugs. You miss the emotions. The excitement, the butterflies, the shaking hands, the shy confessions, the eager kisses, the burning nights. You don’t miss him. You just miss being loved. But I’m here now, as I always here. Loving you and willing to do anything just to see you happy. I wanted to tell you that you could be with me now and you’ll finally forget the day that you met him.

But as I always do, I ended up telling her what she wanted to hear. “Just give it sometime. It just about 2 weeks since both of you were calling it quit. Just focus on your study and you’ll be fine. Besides, you have me, aren’t you? What could’ve gone wrong?”

I heard her silent chortle and I knew that she was fine and I succeeded in making her sadness went dry.

“Thank you, Seungri. I’ll call you again tomorrow at 10,” she said before she hung up and even after she’s gone, I still put the phone on my ear. And again I’ve been pushed to the friendzone.

As a realization came, just like I’ve been stung by electricity, I bolted out of the blue. Grabbing my jacket and keys, I ran out.

And I ran as fast as I can. The wind blew hard onto my skin but I just don’t care. At that time I was hyperventilating. The feeling was exhilarating and I couldn’t stop myself from running.

When I reached her door, my breath became uneven. My heart was hammering loudly. And with shaky hands, I reached for the doorbell.

Slowly, the door opened and Chaaerin’s surprised face came into view.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, stunned.

Without a word, I grabbed her hand and dragged her out into her mother’s flower garden. She and I stood in the middle of the lawn and I still hadn’t uttered anything. My eyes were staring at the ground and I was shivering.

Finally, I gathered some courage to meet her worry gaze and my heart stopped quivering.

I extended my hands to place on both side of her head and I stared at her small cunning eyes. I saw the redness on her eyes and a faded stream of tears on her cheeks and mind just settled into a firm decision.

I tilted my head slowly and the gap between us became closer and closer.

“Don’t!” she muttered suddenly and my eyes that had been closed, flung open immediately. “I know what you’re trying to do but please don’t. I’m not ready…and with you…I don’t think I can be your friend again…if you-“

Smirking, I shot an arrogant look at her.

“I’m willing to take that chance,” I said as I claimed her lips.