"I am just another girl watching you from the back
That would be good if you take a look for a while"

Soojung is just another woman.

She watches her two best friends blooming their love in front of her eyes just like that.

But her heart doesn't want to. She really loves the boy as much as her girl friend does.

"I am just another woman
Enjoying myself drinking my own coffee while watching yourselves share one for two"

Jinri is a kind girl. She is honest and gentle and Minho loves her.

Minho only looks at her, from the beginning.

 

"I am just another person
Sticking around between the two lovebirds,
seeking for my own serenity
(but the reality is it doesn't)"

 

Soojung knows Minho from the very first time, even since they were in diapers.

Minho is so kind, he smiles for Soojung a lot and he pats Soojung a lot too.

He praises Soojung a lot, and he supports Soojung too.

But he smiles for Jinri a lot more.

 

"There you are, there you are
In the intersection where you have to loose
Letting the other two going much further"

 

Minho tells Soojung in a midsummer night.

"I'm going to propose to Jinri."

Soojung wants to let off the tears. But she can't bear Minho's desire for Jinri even more.

She smiles for happiness. Full of blessing for between the two.

The lovebirds is going to fly up, get off from their cage.

And Soojung should be the one who opens up the gate for them.

"I hope you're both happy."

Soojung says with smile.

But somehow, the heart is getting hurt.

 

"The couple of happy lovebirds
And me, who silently cry after hurt"

 

Soojung is watching him as always, he is happily buying a pretty white gold ring with a shimmering little diamond, sparkling tiny like rainbows.

Minho also acknowledges her as always, waving his hand in gratefulness even from afar.

It is mesmerizing and he looks thousand times more handsome with those pretty and brightful smile, even she is sad because it isn't for her.

Minho is always seeing Jinri in his largest field of vision.

She is, just like in the beginning, just another girl sticking with him all around since children.

 

"If miracle doesn't work
If nightmare is the greatest impact you have ever seen
I don't want to be an evil, who lives for nightmares
I don't want to
Even if my heart cries I wait to"

 

The intersection is red for the vehicles, so Minho runs as fast as he can get to reach Soojung and hug her, saying he is ready to start a life together with Jinri.

The driver can't see Minho's happiness, not even he cares about.

He is drunk and can't even master his own body to stop hitting the gas too hard, moreover to stop because of the red light.

Minho doesn't see, Soojung doesn't see either.

The bright sun suddenly goes dark, the happiness suddenly turns into misfortunate.

Soojung can't stop whinning over Minho, who is motionless on the asphalt. Those blood flows too hard, so she can't handle herself to not wetting her cellphone with her own tears as she shout out loud to the world.

"Someone is getting hit by a car! Quickly come and save him or he might die on the place!"

A guy she doesn't know tries his best to keep the wounded man alive, and the paramedics is like taking forever to come.

She keeps shaking on Minho's chest like a stupid person, hoping him suddenly awake and saying it's just a joke.

But he doesn't, so she keeps calling until her cellphone dies.

 

"When the brightest star is shut down,
what is leaving? A black hole?
Just like a black hole, my heart is shut down into a total darkness
all the happiness around and turning them into a nightmare"

 

Minho is a professional baseball player, and Soojung is a skater on the ice.

Jinri is a runway model, she lives the greatest life she gets to be.

Her smile is as pretty as rose.

As innocent as a white pure.

Her eyes are smiling.

Her skin is milky white.

Minho loves Jinri as huge as lover should be, more than a lover should be, more than the world should be.

He gives his best smile for her.

He gives his lifetime for her.

He sets his eyes just for her.

And he cries in front of Soojung.

Soojung loves Minho more than the world should be.

She listens to him everytime.

She stops his crying everytime he is crying.

She laughs for him more than she should be.

She sets her eyes just for watching him from behind.

Because his side is always for Jinri. And it is always be.

Minho hits the balls for his life, Soojung spends her life on the ice, Jinri draws her life under the colorful spotlights.

Maybe because spotlights is definitely better than the cold ice.

 

"When the brightest star is shut down,
it will all the things aside and turn them into none"

 

Blink.

Blink-blink.

Blink-blink.

Is my eyes open?

Minho can feel his eyelids slowly going up but there is nothing more than a surrounding black. What is going on? Does someone pull a prank on him?

"You are awake?"

A familiar voice. And familiar perfume scent.

"Soojung-ah?"

A perfume Soojung and Jinri shares for two.

Soojung grabs his hand quickly and lifts it up.

"Soojung-ah you're there?"

He doesn't turn his head.

"Why is it so dark?"

No, it can't be.

"Minho..."

She waves a hand in front of his face.

He responds nothing.

"Minho-yah..."

Her tears falling.

Minho barely comes back to his senses.

It is not someone playing a joke for him.

A car was hitting him as the last thing he could remember.

The cardiogram is beeping. His head is wrapped by some cloth, as he feels his forehead.

But his eyes doesn't.

He is into a black hole.

 

"No, it could not be"

 

She hates hospital.

"The brain damage is so severe..."

She hates doctors.

"The eyesight loss is permanent and can't  be restored..."

She hates everything.

"I'm really sorry, there is nothing we can do."

She hates her tears flowing a river.

 

"It should not be"

 

"Do not tell Jinri anything, okay?"

Soojung rolls her eyes to Minho, who is staring straight at the blank space.

"I would like to return to my hometown."

She knows everything about him. His parents isn't here for him anymore, and returning to his hometown is just an excuse.

To run away.

"Don't tell Jinri about anything. Say for her I'm heading somewhere overseas, going through years of training, and tell her to find someone better than me to fill up her heart."

He smiles.

Even the ugliest smile of him is still beautiful.

"Say my goodbye for her."

He still even smiles when his tears falling.

"Find her a better man."

Soojung cries again.

"I'll come with you."

 

"But somehow running away becomes the best opinion
A best condition about us, about you and me
And maybe her"

 

It has been three months since they are back to Incheon, their hometown.

Spring left and it comes summer, with a clear bright sky and humid breeze.

"Soojung-ah?"

The girl is wearing an old apron, stirring the pot on the stove. She smiles hearing such a voice, coming from another room while the owner cluelessly hanging on one side to another.

And he trips again.

Soojung runs immediately to find the clumsy man rubbing his hair, lips barely smiling.

"What are you doing?"

Soojung is rather complaining more than asking.

"Just trying to walk around."

His eyes set to the floor.

"Minho-yah!"

"I'm sorry. I must be troubling you a lot, Soojung-ah. "

"I have said don't - "

"Say such a thing, because I'm your friend."

Soojung helps him to get up, and leads him to the dining table.

"Dinner's almost ready, boy. Just stay in here."

 

"I fill myself a thousand of reason
Just to be with you, just to stay with you"

 

Soojung fills the bowls and puts them on the table.

"Your soup is two o'clock and the spoon is behind it."

"And you are?"

"I'm beside you, what are you talking."

A faltered smile. "Good."

Soojung almost forgets her dinner and watching Minho thoroughly.

"You adapt quickly." She smiles.

"What are you doing? Just finish your eating!" He stops. "I don't hear you eating."

Soojung cursed herself. How come his hearing being so sharp?

 

"I'm drowning more
I can't handle the feelings of wanting to spend my time with you even more"

 

He stands in front of the entrance door excitedly, hands on the cane.

"How is it? How are you doing?"

She smiles tiredly, not to mention the big black bags under her eyes when she removes her make up.

"I win." She whispers.

"Of course!" He tosses his hand up in the air in excitement. "Of course it should be, our Soojung!"

"The second place, Minho, I'm the second."

She smiles slightly.

"Is that because of me?"

His gaze changes into a deep guilt.

It's because of my greed to spend more time with you.

"It's nothing to do with you, Minho."

"I have said that I'm capable to do things by myself... I didn't go to disability school for nothing!"

"I forget my last spinning, that's all. There is nothing to do with you, really."

Because she knows her body is out.

"You sounds tired."

Of course, she pushes herself to her limit.

Just to see him.

"Are you hungry? Is it okay if I cook some ramyun for dinner?"

Soojung feels her limbs are imbalanced, and she falls right into Minho's arm.

"Soojung-ah!"

"I'm alright..."

"You should rest."

 

"I'm drowning for your innocence
I'm falling for your pure soul, what should I do, tell me?"

 

Chicken and beer are put neatly on the living room table.

"Soojung-ah..."

He calls Soojung's name while his eyes are fixed on the TV, without even know what he is watching.

"Hm?"

"Did you meet Jinri?"

Even his tone is changed when he says that name.

"Yes, she is doing pretty well."

The sound of TV makes its solo.

"She's having her engagement next month."

An awkward silence.

"Is she going for a good man?"

An awkward silence again.

"It's Lee Taemin, your junior."

He smiles. Soojung knows it's hurtful.

"He really loves her."

And I really love you.

"Come and see her, Soojung-ah."

His smile is getting more hurtful to watch.

"Praise him in front of her for me, Soojung-ah."

She can see a drop of tear falls to his cheek.

"You're my best friend, right?"

It hurts.

You're my best friend, right?

It really hurts.

 

"At least let me become something better in your life
At least let me to become your eyes"

 

Dark.

"How is it? Not being able to see anything?"

Colorless.

"First of all, I can't play on a league."

Blank.

"Don't you miss anything but it?"

Void.

"Hahaha, you're mean. Baseball is life, girl!"

Empty.

"Seriously, is there nothing else than baseball?"

Lightless.

"Not being able to see Jinri again. It hurts me the most."

The man stops laughing and shed a tear in his sarcastic laughs. His smile is gradually faltered into a sorrow gaze.

"Minho-ya."

"Yes."

"Let me."

"What?"

"Let me to become your eyes."

 

"Then at least I have one reason to stay with you forever"

 

It's quiet, almost fading into silence, when you're coming to the park at night.

"Hyung! Minho-hyung!"

In the almost faded silence, the calling is become very vivid.

"Come here, Taemin-ah! Sit at the swing next to me."

He turns his eyes to the right for nothing. As usual, nothing but black.

"They say you're training overseas. Why you're here?"

"I ask Soojung to call you and let me see you. You know that?"

The younger man just nods. Seeing the other man just staring straight to the front.

"What's the matter?"

The older man sighs.

"How is Jinri? Is she doing well?"

The younger man sees him smiles.

"She misses you." He stops for a while. "Although she doesn't mention, I know it. It's clearly visible on her eyes."

"I can't even meet her eyes..." He sighs again. "Hey, punk. Let's just say she is living happily with you, right?"

Taemin takes a look, a better look of him. "...Hyung?" He notices something on the older's right side. "Minho-hyung?"

"What." He slants his eyes lazily. "At least tell me she is doing well with you, so I can sleep tonight."

Taemin waves his hand carefully in front of Minho.

There is nothing, nothing.

"Hyung, look at me."

"What." He goes silent for a while. "I can't."

"Hyung..."

"Do you think I voluntarily let her go for you?"

"You don't have to do this! I'm going to marry her next month, it shouldn't be a lie like a text message 'Sorry, I dumped you' that delivered me to her! It couldn't be! It shall not be! I can always cancel the marriage for you! What kind of joke is this?"

"'Sorry, I dumped you'." Minho raises his head. "You should be thankful for that. I love her, but I'm not interested in marrying her anymore. That was well-said."

"Hyung..."

"I'm wishing you for a happy marriage. You will be happy with her, okay?"

"Sometimes I really don't get you, hyung."

"Please make her happy for me." He tries to reach Taemin's hands on his left, so Taemin catches him. "I'm begging you."

His gaze looks worried.

"I will make her even happier, I promise. Watch me, hyung."

Minho gets up from the swing, holding to a cane on his right.

He should stop his eagerness for crying.

 

"Because I love you
I really love you"

 

Jinri is going to get married.

 

"I love you too much that I'm afraid it will burst to explode"

 

Both Minho and Soojung acknowledge it.

 

"I love you so much that I'm afraid it will outburst into none"

 

Jinri has the best dress he had ever wore in her life. The promise is flowing from , but she's still feeling lacking.

Is he really the one?

It's like the world is blessing them, Taemin feels. Even the autumn breeze is greeting them like a gentle touch.

Both of them are coming with smile from the altar.

After a promise that they will love each other until they die.

Jinri meets bunch of people with the blessing gazes.

But still, there is someone who outshines the most of smiles.

Minho is there, blessfully smiles for them.

But she blinds herself for seeing him being too crooked.

Their eyes met.

And then she meets Soojung on his back.

 

I love you.

 

Soojung gets a flower bucket from the bride.

 

I'm happy to be with you.

 

Jinri is going for someone he used to love so much until her heart will explode.

She does realize she's always like that.

She's still like that.

Running to him like she will throw her heart into pieces.

 

I wish to be with you.

 

Minho is standing as still as always, on the corner, enjoying the sounds of happiness of two lovebirds becoming one.

And the familiar scent is coming near.

"Soojung..."

A perfume Jinri and Soojung used to share together.

And Jinri is still using the same perfume.

"Soojung-ah?"

Jinri looks around, asuming herself that he is setting his eyes to nothing but her.

"Soojung-ah, how is it?"

His eyes are still on her.

"How pretty she is? What kind of clothes she is wearing? What kind of make up she is putting? Is she looks amazingly stunning with it?"

Soojung comes, almost running from the scene because of the happiness she had for getting the bucket of flowers.

And she stops after she hears those question, the bride tightly pulls the man into a hug, a passionate hug, an amazing hug with tears flowing smoothly on the bride beautifully retouched eyes.

"Jinri?"

Soojung watches them and can't help it at all.

"She is really pretty, Minho..."

A slight tears falling on Soojung's cheek.

"She really is."

The bride would cry every time, about how can she manages to say a promise when there is someone watching her, someone who she really loves and someone who really loves her. But the promise is getting somewhat too far, and she has to live with it, with joy, and without someone she desires to spend her love with. There is nothing such a perfection, every relationship has a flaw, and the man she really loves to begin with is her biggest flaw. The man is fading from her sight, slowly fading from her heart even if it will be clearer again when she is looking back. To think of that now, he is someone who she sees when she is looking to her back, someone who smiles for her whatever she does. And she doesn't regret, because there is another someone behind him who watches him from behind.

"Have you finish your greet for the couple?"

"I have. Let's go home, Soojung-ah."

"Okay, let's get back."

"Hey, wait!"

"What?"

"Hold my hand, Soojung-ah."

"Oh, I'm sorry!"

"Is this looks funny?"

"I make it looks natural, don't worry."

"But our effort seems useless since Jinri knows it."

"It's not good to run away for all of your life, it does say."

"Well, at least they get along together like what I have planned."

"Do you ship on them so hard, huh?"

"I like them. I know Taemin will take care of Jinri well."

"But what about you?"

"I know I have Soojung who takes care of me well."

"Uh... thank you?"

"Have a drink with me after this, Soojung-ah?"

"Eh? Uh, well..."

"You pay for it."

"What?"

 

“There is still a long way to go”

 

//end//

a dumb ending, sorry lol

i am considering to write more story of this verse. how do you think? ;)

thank you for reading :)