The sun was already starting to set, hiding its golden glow behind the prominent mountains that stood strong with pride. The breeze whispered lightly, making a gentle noise, almost inaudible. The surroundings were at peace and there was no one to be seen around. Well, except for one person. He has been standing there for quite a couple of hours now, ever since the school bell rang signaling that it was already the dismissal of classes and another vigorous day has come to an end. Standing still with his hands shoved into his pockets and ears covered with earphones with some random hip hop music playing. He didn't mind it though, standing there all alone while waiting. For he knew, it was all worth it. Because it was all for her.

 

His trail of thoughts came to a halt when a figure approaching came to view.

 

"Hey Ji, have you been waiting here for some time now?" her voice were music to his ears, even better than those playing against his ears at the moment. She was the only one that calls him by that nickname. He wanted it to be. He didn't move in position, he just bowed his head a little lower than before, trying to hide his face and whatever emotion he was about to show. He was quite afraid that she might see it.

 

He heard her sigh, "Look, I'm sorry 'kay? The club activities ended too late. If you want, I can make it up to you". She kept her lips pursed. No, he couldn't see it, but he can feel it and he knew. It was an old habit of hers that he knows too well. In fact, he knows everything about her too well. He knows her better than herself. How couldn't he? He's been her friend for a long time now.

 

 Friend. That thought would always bother him. He loves her but sadly she doesn't. She couldn't return his feelings, and he knew. So he just kept it like that, and he knew it'll be better this way... that she would never know.

 

 

He looked up at her, he held her gaze intensely and she was anticipating to whatever he would reply. He let out a heavy sigh but not long enough, replacing it with a warm smile, "You promise right? Remember that Bommie." He couldn't help himself but to always show her his loving side, he knew for himself that he could never bring his self to hate her. And he couldn't help it, he just love her too much.

 

Her name that he could never grow tired of hearing it, Bom, which clearly meant spring. And just like the spring, she was lovely like the lovely pink cherry blossoms that would fall down gracefully to the ground and fresh like the flowers that had just come out from their buds.

 

She flashed a smile back at him and that quickly made his heart skipped a beat. He loved to see that smile of hers. He would do everything just to see that lovely curve on her luscious lips. She nodded, linking her arms with his and started walking, stalking off from the campus.

 

They were so close to each other that he couldn't think of anything but the radiating warmth of their skin that they two share. He can’t help but be conscious of their present position. They almost looked like lovers. For him, it was like having small sparks lightly biting on your skin, but for her, it was just a normal thing for the two of them. Nothing Special.

 

"So, where do you want to head to today?", she asked looking up at him. He shrugged casually, removing the earphones from his ears. "Well, where do you want to go to?", he stared back at  her. He looked away quickly, perhaps too quickly. He had to. Because if he wouldn't, who knows what he'll do if he got too mesmerized on that enchanting pools of brown of hers.

 

"Hmmm...", she motioned her hand under her chin and looking at a distant as if she was thinking hard. "Why don't we go to that place", she wriggled her eyebrows at him, suggesting that it was a really good idea. "Y-yeah... Why not?", he was happy nonetheless.

 

The place that she was referring was their so-called secret hideout. That place was only meant for the two of them. That place was located at a hidden dock near the port, no one hardly come by. It was the perfect place to watch see the sun rise and also when it was setting. It was the place that the two of them would go to whenever they would be celebrating something, upset or frustrated by the end of day, or sometimes whenever they would want to sit in silence and think about different random things.

 

 

One time, Jiyong remembered that at every of the year, the two of them would meet there and watch the very first sunrise of the millennium. But that was all in the past. That was before. Right before when Bom became matured and became more beautiful, before when she was still a timid and shy little girl who worries and gets paranoid about every single detail, before when she still doesn't have enough confidence in herself and would always keep everything to herself, before when she met someone who could mean the world to her, all before she became distant to him. The only thing that hadn’t change was that, he still loved her. Even before Bom had bloomed he had already saw that side of hers and he learned to love all of that. She loved her in every bit, her smile, her laugh, her jokes, sarcasms and just everything about her.

 

 

Only that, he had loved her now more than ever.

 

 

 

But right now, they were so close, yet why does it feel that they were in a distance?

 

 

Silence embraced the moment once more. But he didn't mind, it wasn't uncomfortable or scary. And even if it was, that would be alright. She was right beside him and that was enough to fill his heart with all his content.

 

Suddenly, a ringing noise was heard. They stopped in their tracks. Bom fished out her phone from her pocket.

 

 

 

He stayed silent.

 

 

 

"Uh, hello?", she said. Jiyong heard small murmurs from the background but aside from that he couldn't make out any words that the person on the other line could've said.

 

"Now?", Bom shifted her gaze from the empty space to him. And then back again. It was only a matter of seconds, but he knew worry surfaced in her eyes. But another feeling mixed with it that he was sure of the appearance, doubt. And with that small gesture, he already knew what's going to happen next and what she's going to say next.

 

 

 

Next thing he saw, she had already hung up. Another sigh escaped from her lips. He didn't have to ask her for he already knew what that could mean. So instead, he was the one who asked. "What did he say?", he didn't look at her, instead he stared at the distant space that only seemed to exist now. He kept his voice as natural and stable as it can be. She didn't reply this time.

 

After a couple of seconds, there was it again, the deafening silence. He already grew tired of listening to it, "It's alright. He wants to see you right now. Right?", his voice had turned cold and hard and he didn’t hide it. He managed to speak out these words that he knew he would regret sooner or later.

 

She looked back at him, "Are you sure? I mean I could just call him up and tell him I had already promised you that I'll be making it up to you and already had plans". He wanted to agree on her, but he couldn't. And he hated himself for that. "No, I'll be fine", no he was not. There, he said it again. The same line he'll be saying to her everything time they'll be in a situation like this. Maybe it had even grown dull and rusty from being used to much.

 

 

He unlinked his arms with hers, even though he didn't want to. If it were up to him, he would hold her in his arms even it were for eternity. But he knew he had to let her go. But his heart would always tell him otherwise.

 

But he couldn't. He was just her friend, just a best friend. He had no right, she doesn't belong to him. But he does, to her. And that’s how it always has been.

 

She nodded, "Thank you so much Jiyong. You're really a true friend". Yeah, friend.

 

"I promise. I'll really make it up to you next time", there she goes again, making another broken promise after a broken one. What could he say? Promises are made to be broken. How many times has it been? Once? Twice or thrice? Even the tenth time? It was all too many that he had already lost count.

 

 

 

"Sure", he replied. He watched her walk away; it was like seeing water slip right through his hands. Her retreating back was another view that he already got used to. He waited, standing still until she was out of sight. Soon he did the same; he turned his back and started walking away too.

 

 It was like they were starting to slowly drift apart.

 

It wasn't that long after that the rain started pouring. It was as if the heaven has finally decided to punish the sinful beings. Dark, frightening clouds engulfed the once bright sky that was now also mixing in with the dark shade of gray. It was getting heavier and the droplets were also getting bigger by the second, like needles that'll prick your skin if you won't get away and hide quickly. But he couldn't feel it. Instead he let out a loud chuckle, he was laughing there in the middle of the rain all by himself, and he looked like some maniac. But he didn't care for he felt numb at the moment.

 

He looked up at the sky and then glared at it, no one really in particular. "Why?! Why would this always happen to me??!! Do you hate me so much that you also made my love one not love me??? Tell me, what have I done??! Have I done something to offend you? Look, if I did I'm sorry okay? All wanted was for her to see me as something much more than a friend... Even just a little bit. Please!", the last word only came out as a whisper, but the clouds only let out a louder roar and soon followed by a streak of lightning. He should’ve flinched even just for a little, but no, he didn’t. His body resisted from making any reactions to what his mind transmits. His brain had already shut down, leaving him with nothing but emptiness.

 

Not long after that, his cheeks were already stained with salty tears. It was kind of weird though, crying while standing in a pouring rain. But the weirder thing was that, he was smiling. He was still smiling while he was trying to wipe off the tears that stained the skin on his face. Trying.

 

 

"She forgot it again didn't she?" he asked, whispered to his self. Now he's talking to none other by his self again. "Today's the 18th day of August. How could she forget my birthday again?", he laughed again. She forgot it again. How could she, they've already been friends for too long. How could she not remember? But that wasn't even the saddest part. It was the fact that, this wasn't the first time that this happened.

 

 "Hahaha... Haha... You stupid idiot”, now his laugh had died down and was starting to become a weep, a cry. “What can you hope for? She already loves someone else. And you know what the even sadder part about that is? Ha! That it's not you whom she loves. She'll never see you as something more than her supporting friend, a crying shoulder to lean on whenever she's upset or sad by something. You'll always be like that to her whatever you say or do. You're SO stupid for falling for someone who can never love you back... Maybe you're really meant to be like that. You were born and destined to be alone and hated. But it's fine. As long as I can keep her by my side, it'll be fine. I couldn't ask for more." He took a step again and continued walking, heading to his home. Well, where else can he go?

 

 

 

Why is that, we tend to love the things that we could never have?

 

 

 

The next day came like the usual, people were walking to wherever they were headed, some were in groups talking and gossiping about just some random topics, and others were just minding their own business. But one person was peculiar among the rest. Jiyong's usual was walking aimlessly in the halls, in deep thoughts and with carrying along a heavy heart. His mind was too preoccupied with his love one, only Bom. He tried getting her out of his mind and thoughts, but he just couldn't. He would always fail miserably. And sometimes even he would question himself; Is he getting addicted to her? Or he was just really deeply in love with her. Well, one thing's for sure, he couldn't blame her though. It wasn't her fault for looking so perfect in his eyes.

 

She was intelligent but not a bookworm, strong-willed yet still feminine, kind-hearted and generous yet still equal, and courageous and brave but careful and gentle. With brown pools of eyes with black ring-like freckles surrounding it. And her long black flowing hair that would always feel soft and smooth whenever he held those.

 

"Ji!", someone called from the back. He turned his heel around and saw who it was. His eyes widened, funny, he was just thinking about her. "I'm sorry about yesterday. You see, Seunghyun hyung was very persistent", she reasoned. "It's okay, really", he forced out a smile but it didn't quite reached his eyes.

 

 

There was it again, the silence that he dreaded the most.

 

 

"Hey Jiyong-ssi", someone suddenly called. "So you got older again didn't you?", the petite brunette who just showed up joked at Jiyong. "So how was it?", she asked again with a wide smile, but Jiyong couldn't form any word in his lips, remembering what just happened yesterday. So instead, he forced another smile. The brunette didn’t ask furthermore, "Okay then, it was nice seeing you. Catch up with you later", she said waving her hand and then strode off.

 

Neither the two of them muttered a word, Jiyong was waiting for Bom to say something, anything. While Bom was still processing the previous said words in her head. When the realization dawned on her, her eyes widened.

 

"OHMYGOD", now she remembers, Jiyong thought. He stood still in his position, not bothered or even upset at her sudden reaction. He was already used to it. It had already happened numerous of times. And before, there would always be a pang of anger that would cross his heart. He felt betrayed and left out. But he also already got used to it. Being stabbed with menacing daggers, penetrating into his heart and veins, but now he had turned numb. He already got immune at the never ending repetition of hate and pain.

 

His whole body felt numb, but the only factor that was keeping him still alive and breathing was his beating heart. Not once had that heart of his stopped. It never stopped beating all for her. For her sake, he tried to live for she meant the world to him. And his heart would always contradict whatever his mind was against with.

 

If he would be gone, who else can she turn to when she's the one in pain?

 

Who else would pick her up and stitch her back into pieces?

 

 

No one.

 

 

 

No one else can bear all the pain and suffering that Jiyong had gone through and it was all just for her.

 

Even any human in their right mind would never step down in the mud and drown with the person who could even be the closest to their hearts. No one could because even the bravest and the kindest could never compare to Jiyong's sacrifices and everything he went through all this time.

 

 

"Ji", Bom looked at her with such pleading eyes. No more, he was already tired of seeing that. Before she could say more of her pathetic excuses, he cut her in instead, "No", he looked at her and spoke softly. Her eyes that showed lucid regret and sorry matched Jiyong's dark orbs that didn't fail to project a limpid hurt and full of disappointment.

 

"It's fine... really", the last word seemed like a dangerous lie dripping out from Jiyong's mouth. "I understand", he added in all honesty. In fact, he really did understand. He understands that she already loves somebody else. He can understand that she can never really see him more than as a friend. That he'll never have a chance with her. He understood all of that, though painful and made him felt like full of deceit. But what he can't understand is that, why does she seemed so distant now from him.  It seemed that the invisible space that held the two of them tightly has now become vividly clear that it has been long gone and broken down.

 

Right inside his heart lays the deepest scars that he had been keeping all these years. But aren’t the wounds that couldn't be seen are hardest to heal?

 

 

"No way. How could I?", Jiyong didn't bother lifting his gaze to her. This time, he didn't care.

 

"You don't have to say sorry. It's not your fault", he tried to put on a strong and undefiant facade, but he failed miserably, instead it came out as a worn-out and weary emotion.

 

Not bothering to hear her reply, he walked away. He didn't want to hear any of her excuses and reasons no more. He's already starting to get tired of all of it. Running and escaping from the scary reality he had to deal with. But every step he took only seemed to get heavier by the minute.

 

 

 

The horrendous days now seemed to walk by too slowly for Jiyong. He dreaded each time he would see her. And every time Bom would try to approach him, all he would do was turn away and give her his back. He was tired of it. And this time he has finally given up on her. Yes he was still thinking about her, she still roamed around in his thoughts but all he could feel now was being played around.

 

He was tired of lying.

He was tired of pretending to be the strong one.

He was tired of it all up as if it never had hurt him in any way.

He was tired of being her pillow on her sleepless night, her crying shoulder whenever she was hurt again.

He was tired of bringing her back to pieces but after all that he would be left behind once again.

 

He grew tired of it, finally.

 

 

 

Days flew by and Jiyong started hanging out with other guys and even started getting closer to some of the girls. This time, he had to stand up on his own feet without anyone to be beside him. But that was fine. He was fine with it, for he knew that he became stronger now. His thoughts of her has now subsided down and all he has to do was avoid her.

 

He never talked to her ever since.

 

 

 

He had already moved on.

 

 

Or so he thought.

 

 

 

 

And just when he thought he had finally let go of her. When he thought he would already be fine with them now being strangers to each other. When he thought he had already. And when he thought he had already broken away from the chains that had once held him back. That's what he thought.

 

 

But that one night changed everything. His life took another different turn that he had never expected.

 

 

 

 

He was already in his sheets, waiting for the slumber to take him away. It was yet again another tormenting day he had to get through. When suddenly, his phone started to make noise.

 

 

Disturbed by it, he grudgingly took his phone and positioned it against his ears, not bothering to see whoever the caller dialling him up at this time of the night.

 

 

"Ji", his eyes shoot widened. Someone he had never expected to call him up after everything. He couldn't believe it. He was left in utter bewilderment yet dumbfounded.

 

 

How he had missed hearing that voice that would always call him up. Now, he started loving it all over again but at the same time he dreaded it and hated it. It was an all mixed emotions that he didn't even know what to think or feel at the moment.

 

 

"Ji", she repeated. It was just now that her voice sounded so different from her usual. Her usual voice was much more cheerful, light and bubbly. But now how did it become to be so cracked and broken. In fact, the words came out like a croak. He had never heard her voice like this. Because even before when her first boyfriend dumped her, there would still be a hint of optimism that laced her voice despite the sadness that can be luminously heard.

 

 

She heaved a heavy sigh, "I know you don't want to see me or even talk to me. Maybe you even hate me right now. But I just want to say ... sorry", her last word came out only as a whisper as if she was in despair. "But I really need you now. There's no one here beside me right now and the loneliness' starting to eat me up. And I need you", the last two words that escaped from her tongue were enough for Jiyong to bring down all the walls he had built between them.

 

 

He had no time to lose. And, after all, this time, he still loved her. Maybe it was all there, deep inside that decided to hide and keep it at the very core but he just didn't want to acknowledge it. Because he was afraid.

 

 

 

And now he's going to take all that back and let out everything inside him that he has been keeping all the time.

 

 

 

"Where are you?", worry and anxiety can be hinted in his voice. "I'm here at our place", hearing those words made his heart jump in joy. "I'll be there as soon as I can. Stay there okay?", he was now scampering around his room making a quick change of clothes. Soon he was already on his way to the port.

 

 

He couldn't afford to lose any second, and by that he ran off to where Bom was waiting for him.

 

 

And there she was sitting in a hidden spot at the docks, staring off into the beautiful scenery that was in front of them. She was looking up at the moon like she was wandering the things that weighed on her shoulders.

 

There he saw it. The moon was glowing luminously and giving off its bright vibe. It sat there silently. Its vibrant glow contrasted the calm waters perfectly. Its reflection against the vast body of water appeared clearly, just like a mirror in one's reflection. The scenery in front of him was breathtakingly beautiful.

 

Bom must've felt his motion when she suddenly jerked her head and looked at him. There she saw Jiyong. The two of them locked gazes. He looked at the scene that Bom was staring off to as he slowly strode towards her.

 

But the next thing Jiyong knew was that she was already enveloped in his strong arms. He held her gently as if afraid to break the fragile porcelain doll that stood by him.

 

 

 

 

He missed her.

 

The way her scent flared right to his nose, the sweet scent of hers never failed to always leave him in utter astonishment.

The way their skin made contact, sharing each other's warmth. The way her arms were wrapped around him once again as if her whole precious life depended on it, made a chill ran down his spine. He was aware of it. All of it.

 

 

He thought he already moved on and got over it. He thought that he was finally fine without her and with them being strangers to each other, sometimes even like ghosts that can't see each other in their own perspectives. The walls that he had once built against her that he thought would always be strong and secured. But all of that came crashing, the moment he felt her.

 

He still loved her. And he knew it deep inside of him. Maybe he had loved her all the way, and he wasn't just aware of it. Or maybe he was just afraid to acknowledge it, that he still loved her all this time. He must've buried it deep inside of him, right to the very core. As cheesy as it may sound, that was what he was feeling right now.

 

 

Because he was afraid.

 

 

But he's going to forget all of that now. This time, he's going to let go of all the burden and pain he has been keeping all to himself before. He's going to let it all out. And he's not going to hold back this time. Thus this time, he's going to break free from all these things. He'll finally able to extricate from the chains holding him back.

 

 

And He wasn't planning on letting her go either. He was afraid that if he would, he might lose her again. He was afraid that she might disappear once again if he will blink even just once.

 

 

They remained in that position for quite some time.

 

 

But Jiyong knew they had to let go sooner or later. And he was finally going to, but he only felt her hold of him tightened. He was quite surprised with this sudden move of hers. He actually felt happiness wash over him at her sudden gesture. She didn't want to let go of him yet, Jiyong thought. He was glad that this time she was the one tightening the hold, not him.

 

 

"No, let's stay like this a little longer.... Please", Bom didn't look at him, but he can feel her asking pleading hardly. Neither the two of them muttered a single word, they kept their gazes locked. Everything around them seemed to have disappeared and Jiyong only has his eyes set on the girl in front of her. His mind and soul had already left him. Only his heart remained.

 

 

"Bommie...", his throat felt dried, suddenly losing all the liquid it contained. Bom looked up at him, but still in place in his arms. The words that he had prepared to let out at once, has now evaporated. He had lost his sane and he was freaking out hardly inside.

 

 

The atmosphere that surrounded them was starting to get intensified, yet there was only silence embracing them. It was like you could almost hear the drop of a needle.

 

 

Before he could say another word, Bom had already spoke up, "We broke up.", she deadpanned. Jiyong couldn't believe what he heard. It was almost as if hearing that pigs could fly or hell had turned ice.

 

 

All these time, he thought that Seunghyun was the man for Bom. Even he himself believed it. They've been together for a long time, 4 years to be exact. And he would always see the affection penetrating between the lovers' eyes whenever they would be looking at each other. He hated it, but he had to admit that he finally believed that someone's going to be by her side forever from now on.

 

 

Well, isn't that supposed to be you? his subconscious spoke, interrupting him from his reverie.

 

 

"Oh", was all he could mutter. He heard her heaved a sigh, but soon replacing a smile, telling him that she's fine. But he saw through her and knew that she was very much broken.

 

"I guess that was already expected, wasn't it?", she looked away from Jiyong and shifted her gaze to the scenery that glowed in front of them. Bom lets go of Jiyong, dropping her hands to her sides, hanging. As he saw this, it also made his heart dropped.

 

"Oh come on. Say something", Bom tried to keep her voice stable, but it cracked in the end. She was broken inside indeed.

 

She looked at him again. But all Jiyong could do was to look back at her, his face that was filled with sorrow and sympathy. Why does it seem that he looked more broken than she was? That he was the shattered one? Not her.

 

He should be happy that Bom had finally broken up with her once prince charming. He should be happy that their bond was finally split into two. But no, there was this torturous feeling tugging in his heart that he couldn't decipher what.

 

It could be guilt, there goes his subconscious again.

 

He shook off the rising thought.

 

"Bom... I..." he finally voiced out. She quickly looked at him; her gaze was becoming intense as if it was burning a hole right through into his soul. She anticipated for him to continue his unspoken words.

 

But she was greeted with yet again another moment of silence. She let out a sigh. Truth be told, she was actually quite disappointed at him.

 

But for what reason? She doesn't even know for herself.

 

"You know Ji", she paused for a while, looking up at him and crooking her lips into a smile. Jiyong tried to return the gesture but he failed miserably, it only turned out to a grimace. He only looked at her, keeping his lips pursed in a tight line. His nails were digging holes into his palm as his hands were clenched in fists.

 

He was actually restraining himself. But for what?

 

Bom continued unaware of how Jiyong must've really felt at the moment. "I am actually very happy that after all this time, after everything that had happened you're still here, by my side. You've never left me. And I'm very grateful for that. I think I may be the luckiest girl in this world, for having a friend like you", friend, Jiyong thought filled with bitterness. He swallowed the bile that was rising in his throat and remained silent. "I'm sorry if you have to bear with all these drama. You've been a very supportive friend all this time. I don't even know how I could return the favor and pay you. You would be the very last person that I would want to lose", Bom finished her thoughts with one of her smiles that surely would make her best friend’s heart take numerous somersaults, but sadly she wasn’t aware of that.

 

Jiyong couldn't take it anymore, he grew tired. He let out all the feeling that he had been up all this time. And this time, he just wanted to let it all out.

 

With one swift, he took Bom's face gently into his palms and crashed his lips into hers. God, how long had he wanted and waited for him to be able to do this? He knew that after this, things would be different. He knew that things between the two of them would never be the same again. But right now he didn't care. He had loved her all this time, and his not going to hold himself back anymore. He'll just let it all flow without hesitating.

 

They both shared a passionate kiss. But as it was getting deeper, Bom pushed him away. Confusion took over her.

 

"What's wrong?", Jiyong asked, dumbfounded.

 

"What's wrong?! You suddenly kissed me that’s ‘what's wrong’! What's with you?", Bom cried out.

 

"What's with me??? I loved you Bom and I still do! I--", before he could continue finishing his sentence,

 

"Since when?", Bom asked, looking up at him, but now it seemed more like a glare. Her eyes turned bloodshot. He should be angrier than her, but why is it that he couldn’t make himself into that?

 

Right. It was his fault anyway.

 

"Ever since then! Damn it. I have loved you all this time, for years. At first I tried ignoring these growing and raging feelings inside of me, I tried throwing it all out because I knew from the very start that you would never see me as someone more than as a friend. I tried because I didn’t want to get hurt, but I didn’t succeed Bom. I really tried and tried. But I grew tired and realized that no matter what I do, there’s really nothing that I could do at all. And when I knew, I just decided that I should just keep it all”, his voice nearly broke in the end, but he still managed to compose himself.

 

He could feel waters making their way to his eyes, but he fought it. He continued, “I stayed with you all this time because I love you. I all this feelings for you because I love you. I kept all my jealousy when you were with other men instead of me because I love you. I tried turning a blind eye to you because I love you. I tried to keep up with being your friend even though it really pained me deep inside, all because I love you!", he had finally let it all out. And damn how it felt really good. His feelings had finally reached her. He's never holding back. This time he stopped fighting the tears that he had been holding back too.

 

"Don't you feel the same?", Jiyong cried out, but it came out only as a whisper, audible enough for her only to hear.

 

"W-what?? No!", Bom's eyebrows crooked and furrowed; looking at Jiyong only to show utter confusion, and that simple two-letter word was just enough for Jiyong's world to come crumbling down. It was just now that he had realized, how empty he really was. Her simple No was enough for him to know that he rejected. Well, doesn’t he always?

 

Jiyong’s face dropped, and his hopes died down in just a second. He didn't know what to think or feel. It’s like he was left in a hollow void, nowhere to go and nothing to see.

 

"I see", his once wandering gaze dropped down to the ground. He stared at it blankly. His eyes had now turned cold and empty. And just like his life is now, meaningless.

 

Bom noticed this, and honestly it also hurt her. She was biting and chewing her inside cheek, her little habit of hers whenever she’s nervous or whenever she knows that she had done something terrible. "I-I mean... Urgh!!", Bom cried out, throwing her hands in the air due to frustration.

 

After calming down for a couple of seconds, she let a breath out, an exasperated sigh, "I...", she paused for a moment.

 

"I like you", she breathed out.

 

"What?", now it was Jiyong's turn to be confused and be surprised. One second she rejects him and now she’s saying that she also likes him? Seriously, what’s with her? His mood suddenly turned vexed, irritated by the fact that she’s making him feel mixed up emotions and that his heart itself was starting to get confused. He looked up at her even though confusion was vivid in her eyes, but there was also hope that danced through it.

 

 

"I like you", Bom repeated. "It may not be as strong and love struck as I felt back with Seunghyun. But I like you. I admire you, in some ways", she was the one who broke away their eye contact. Bom looked anywhere, anywhere but him. She suddenly felt uncomfortable by his stares; it felt more like scrutiny.

 

Silence once again enveloped their atmosphere.

 

"T-then, what's wrong? What's wrong with the two of us having a relationship?", though Bom was avoiding Jiyong's gaze, she could very much feel its potency.

 

"It's just... wrong", Bom suddenly felt worn out. She didn't even know who he has become now... or who she is even right now.

 

"Why?", Jiyong was clinging to that very little hope he has at the moment.

 

"It's just that if we became an official couple and be lovers. Things won't be the same anymore. And I don't want that", she had finally said it. This time she looked up at Jiyong, her eyes softened. "I don't want that to happen. What if we broke up and break each others’ heart? Won’t be just feel resentment against each other and hating in the process? Won't we be just hurting each others’ feelings? It's much better for us to be just friends; because true friends never leave each others’ side and they could actually last longer, even for eternity than lovers do. And that's why, after all this time you're still here by my side... because you're my best friend. We have this bond that I value more than I do with my other relationships. You're important to me Jiyong", she was trying to blink back the tears that wereas welling up in her eyes. "I'm afraid to lose you", those words of her came out as a whisper, almost inaudible. And those words hit Jiyong hard enough, he was sure of that.

 

"We would just hate each other if we ever we come to that point. And if that would just be how it'll be, then maybe it'll be better off if we would be just strangers to each other. If we can't just keep this friendship, then we might as well be just strangers", with her last words, she stalked off, leaving Jiyong in much more confusion... but also rage.

 

 

 

The following days flew by quickly, but time itself seemed so sedate for Bom. Lack of sleep was very evident on her face, the eye bags under her round eyes willingly showed themselves without any shame. And the dreading look in her face without any doubt was also present.

 

She must be thinking about a lot of things and most of the time she looked so deep in thought. Something's bothering her. That's pretty much obvious.

 

 

She was trying her best not to make any contact with Jiyong, thinking it would just complicate things more. She tried avoiding him in every way everywhere and stopped talking to him ever since then.

 

And surprising as it may seem, Jiyong didn't bother her, nor even attempted to.

 

 

De Ja VU

 

 

How ironic could this even get? Before wasn’t it Jiyong who had actually tried avoiding her? Wasn’t he the one who broke their connection and friendship? But this time, look at how the tables had turned. It was her that’s now at his place. She was the one doing all the avoiding and ignoring.

 

It was much better that way, she thought.

 

Is it really?, but her subconscious contradicted her.

 

There wasn't much that Bom could do right now. And she's not planning to change that, in short, she’s satisfied.

 

After the last time that she let out all of those words, they had finally decided to just be strangers to each other; more likely ghosts to each others’ presence. At least that's what she thinks.

 

Besides, the way Bom sees it Jiyong was doing just fine on his own. He had started talking and hanging out again with the other students, even with some girls. Just like before.

 

He had pretended to act as if nothing actually had happened, she sighed at her little thought.

 

But isn't that what you really wanted? there goes her subconscious again.

 

She shook off the dreading thoughts she was starting to have.

 

And just when she was making her way to her locker, she spotted Jiyong only a few meters away from it. How cruel is fate that she would see him anywhere? But it wasn’t only Jiyong alone, he was with his new found friends, they were talking and laughing at some topic. Looking away from the group of friends, she quickly got her things from her locker and then shut it before she could lose her sanity at the site near her and the agonizing voices that reached her ears. Then too soon, she walked away and stalked off to attend in her next class.

 

 

Bom might not have noticed it, but Jiyong kept on stealing short glances towards her when she wasn’t looking.

 

Little does Bommie know how Jiyong was also going through at the moment. He too, himself was still caught up with the pain that had streak into his heart not too long ago.

 

It was just that he was good at hiding the pain. How could not he? He had been doing that for the last years whenever he would see that Bom was in other man's arms instead of his. He must admit himself that he became a professional in that field.

 

But is it really something that he should be proud of?

 

He had had sleepless nights. And sometimes he would just realize that he had been staring off into an empty space too much.

 

Sure, he had gone out with some of his friends and also started talking to some other girls. But still, he couldn't take his mind off her. And most of the time his mind was flooded with memories of her.

 

Her smile

Her eyes

Her touch

Her laughter

Her scent

 

There were too many marks that Bom had left him. For sometimes once again, he had thought of maybe he was really addicted to her. No matter what he does or say, she was still there, in his mind and heart. He had just realized now how Bom must've really affected him and without knowing that it was driving him insane.

 

He may be letting Bom have her own space but he couldn't help but notice how Bom was doing these past few days.

 

What happened had truly affected her. In fact, it seemed that she was also hurting and he was aware of that.

 

But shouldn't you be happy?, the thought suddenly popped into his head without notice and it took him off guard.

 

The truth is, No. It didn't place a smile on his lips when he saw Bom's bothered look on her face. Her once beautiful and cheerful face has now turned upside down and it was only filled with dark shades of gray. It was like a pure cloth only to be stained by a little ink which had now spread through its silky threads.

 

It didn't make him any happier either when he saw her hurting. It only made him more broken and sad. He felt like a plague at the moment, thinking, that this was all his doing. And he's the only reason why Bom was being like this. It only made him hate himself more.

 

 

 

 

He couldn't bear to see her broken and torn apart. And so, he knew he had to come to his last and final decision.

 

He had been thinking about this for quite some time now and he knew he had to do this if he wanted to clear his mind, there wasn't any other way anyway. All for her sake, he has to do this.

 

 

 

 

The next morning he had woken up extra early. Not that he had gotten enough sleep though. He quickly got dressed and finished his morning rituals.

 

The sun was only starting to peek through its hideout when Jiyong decided to come out of his house. The cold morning breeze bit lightly on his skin making him shiver a little and sent goosebumps all over his body. The wind whispered gently in his ears, sending a tingly sensation in his ears.

 

Hands shoved in his jeans pockets, straightening up his self; he walked a bit faster and kept up with his pace.

 

He’s finally here again.

 

 

 

Her front porch slowly became visible in his eyes. The memories had once again flashed before his eyes, and the thought only brought a smile to his face.

 

He had finally reached the gate in her house. He stood there, waiting.

 

5 minutes had passed. Still, she hasn't come out.

 

10 minutes

 

15 minutes

 

25 minutes

 

30 minutes. God, he must've looked like an idiot just standing there.

 

40 minutes

 

45 minutes. Still she hasn’t come out.

 

Jiyong kept at looking in his watch, but why is it that he couldn't feel the pain in his feet from standing for a very long time? Right, he’s already used to it. Waiting.

 

55 minutes. Where is she? he thought slowly getting impatient.

 

Maybe she had already gone out, his mind suggested.

 

Jiyong breathed out a long sigh, but when he was about to retreat his back when he heard the silent creaking of the door. He faced in front once again.

 

He saw a wave of shock in her face. But he had prepared for this. He already knew what consequences could happen if he wouldn't do this. And they were all too risky for him to take.

 

 

 

"Hi Bommie", how long has it been since her name had escaped from his lips?

 

He quickly gave her one of his heartbreaking gorgeous smiles.

 

 

But still she was in complete confusion, "W-what are you doing here?"

 

"Well, I'm here to take my friend to school. Like how I used to right?", it had hurt him saying that. But he was willing to bear all of the pain it would send in his heart and soul.

 

 

 

 

And with that Bom already knew what Jiyong meant. At first Bom wasn't sure whether she should really go with this.

 

It's now or never, with her final thought, Bom reached Jiyong's hand and they two walked to school, hand in hand in an early morning. Just like how they used to.

 

Jiyong was willing to accept all the consequences of what his decision would bring, he would bear all of it if it was for her sake. And if they couldn't be much more of being friends, he'll just have to pretend that they're still friends, just like before.  He has to bear the pain for now, just to be able to be by her side. He could and would bear all of this all because he loves her.

 

 

Even if he would always just look as a crying shoulder and a supporting friend, it'll be enough.

 

 

 

 

 

Even if they have to stay Just as Friends