BROKEN VOW

 

It is always been good in the beginning. They love each other, they hug each other, they smile to each other, they warm each other. They try knowing each other more. With thier heart full of love, they vow to each other.

 

Vow for forever.

 

Vow to be together forever.

 

Their relationship got progress in a good way. They love each other, they hug each other, they smile to each other, they warm each other, and they made love to each other. That is always been great for everyone eyes, how they love each other everywhere. And that is always been greatest  for them, how they love each other in bed.

 

They are bless. God bless every lovely soul on the earth. They got themself kids. Handsome and beautiful kids, just like them. They are men but they love each other. God knows their love more than anything. Love is magic and God is magic. They are happy. Happiest among happy people in the world. They feel lucky to have each other.

 

They vow for forever again.

 

Little did they know, forever is just a bull.

 

But they didn’t care.

 

They vow to be together forever again.

 

They still smiling to each other lovingly.

 

 

Years pass, it still incredible. They love and realtionship are still the greatest. But life has it owns plan. They always have different daily activity. It is never be a matter from the start. But he knew his husband will be busier ever since his husband’s office handle a big national project. He will less home. He will less time for him and his kids. He will prefer stay his in office (or everywhere nearer office) with papers and meeting schedules. But he knew his husband do it for them, for their family, for everyone that have high expectation on Oh Sehun works. So he will endure the feeling when he miss being in his husband’s arms. He will hold it for his Sehun.

 

So when his husband home, once or twice in a week (mostly weekends), he will be clingy spoild Luhan and keep glue-ing himself in his husband warmest hug. He knew Sehun will never mind his act, he knew his husband even like that, so he will be that childish for a full day. Until they come to their bed and childish Luhan will change to messy-y Luhan just for his Sehun. In the next day they share their time for their kids. Until the end of the day, they will feel loving again just like the start. They have each other again.

 

They vow for forever again and again.

 

Vow to be together forever.

 

For months already, it is the distance for him that make him uncomfortable with their relationship. They still connected by their phone whenever Sehun not home. Their love still there and Luhan knows it. But Sehun barely home now, not for every weekends again. He will just home for some hours in some days and off to office again after changing and take some pairs of suit for himself. Luhan will thinks Sehun has someone else if it not for shower of kisses that he gets everytime Sehun got chance to home. And Luhan will feel loving again for a bit time.

 

But everytime Sehun not home, when Luhan misses him, he will just cry his heart in his bed on Sehun’s bed side, inhaling his lovely scent on his pillow. Call Luhan a kid whom have kids. But they always knew that Luhan will be forever the kid between them. He just cant stand alone far from Sehun. He knew he can go to Sehun’s office, it isnt that far just one and half hour far from their house. But he has kids he should feed and pamper. He can bring them but it will just a more disturb for Sehun. Luhan knews Sehun need focus. So he be in Sehun’s office is a bad idea, he wont be intruder, not him alone, not him with his kids too.

 

If Sehun focus, his job will end sooner. Luhan’s thought.

 

It is when Sehun’s birthday, he got home, luckily! And Sehun’s had some days off from office. Luhan feel happy again. Sehun there for him. Sehun there beside him. Sehun, his Sehun. A great birthday, a great day, great presents, and ofcourse great night. Luhan told Sehun they expecting a new child that day. Best birthday gift ever for Sehun. They spend time mostly just for two of them. Let their kids sleep almost all day, just waking up for some hours, for eat, bath, and play a while. They made love every nights for three days a head.

 

It is when Luhan’s birthday, he’s expecting Sehun will home atleast for a full day. Beside his birthday is sunday, so Sehun will surely spend time with him in his special day, or that what Luhan expected. The truth is Sehun send him 2 rather big cakes (cheese cake and strawberry short cake, he likes strawberry) with a note, saying happy birthday to him and his oh-so-lovely wishes for Luhan and their love life. No flower atleast, Luhan likes roses the most and he sure Sehun knew about it. He is happy that Sehun remember about his special day. He just didn’t expecting 2 rather big cakes to accompany his special day ratherthan Sehun himself.

 

He just feel... unfair?

 

He stare at the cakes for around 10 minutes long in his dining table. Deciding what should he do with those cakes. Sure he likes strawberry but in that moment he just didn’t feel like to eat it, especially without Sehun beside him. So he take his phone and text Sehun, saying that he wants him to be home with him with cry emoticon. Hoping Sehun will melted and run off home as soon as possible. But until evening come, there’s no Sehun nor his reply for Luhan’s text. 

 

There’s nothing but the feeling of upset.

 

It isn’t until when Luhan wants going to bed heart break because his special day did not like he’s expecting, his phone is ringing and Sehun’s name was display there. He’s upset, yes, but see-ing Sehun name make him angry just more. He have emotional state from his now a month baby buddle in his belly too. So he answer the phone and shouting to Sehun like a mad-man, no, he is mad-man. Indeed. He was shouting, laughing, and spoke sarcastically to Sehun. He hears Sehun apology but he isn’t a kind Luhan that night. When he hung up the phone angrily, Sehun text him apology and his vow again.

 

Sehun vow to be with Luhan forever.

 

But forever seem distance for Luhan.

 

It is not until a week later that Sehun got home after their fought through phone. The first thing Luhan looks on his husband’s face that his eyes now surrounded by dark circle, sign that he was sleepless. Sehun’s skin look rather pale and his body seem skinnier and weak. Luhan will melt and hug his husband if isn’t because his ego that hold him. He just give Sehun cold attitude and didn’t bother to acknowledge that he is home already, that maybe his husband need to recieve some lovely care.

 

Sehun seem notice this act on Luhan, so when he done with his business to clean up his body (beacuse he knows Luhan hates weird smells), he came closer to Luhan whom busy rubbing his palm on his own tummy and speaking lowly to his baby. Sehun always realise how beautiful Luhan is, but with him carrying a new soul of their own love while speaking-singing lowly to the soon-tobe-baby, Sehun decided Luhan is beyond beautiful. He looks pure.

 

Sehun just stand there for a moment, on the door frame of their living room watching Luhan that still didn’t notice his presence and stare. He decide to come nearer when Luhan leaning himself onto their fluffy sofa comfortly. Sehun watch Luhan close his eyes, still humming a song and rubbing his tummy. He kneel down in front of Luhan whom didn’t bother to open his eyes. Lean his body down to kiss Luhan’s tummy. There’s no respon from Luhan to his loving act, nor a hand that usually playing with his hair if he do this act. Now, Sehun sure Luhan still mad.

 

How are you, Sehun ask slowly trying to vanish the sillent. Bad, comes cold reply from Luhan that now stare at the ceilling. Something happen when im not home, Sehun ask again rubbing his hand on Luhan’s tummy lovingly. Someone not there when it was my birthday while i gave him the best gift in his life on his own birthday. Luhan answer, slapping Sehun’s hand on his tummy away. Sehun sigh lowly and spoke, i thought i already apologize. Luhan stand up abruptly and spat, eat your apology alone. Then he stomping his way upstair to their bedroom. Sehun follow him close from behind.

 

You know i was busy working Luhan, Sehun try to reason. Yeah, keep working and dont worry about me, Luhan says plainly. I always worrying you, Sehun says mater of factly. Then what? You let me alone in my day, you barely home, you didn’t call for your kids! That’s what you call worry huh?! Luhan snaps loudly. It wasn’t like that! Sehun shouted, the shcedules are so tight! If it wasn’t for the president of the project i wouldn’t abandone you!! And Sehun regrets it soon.

 

Good keep going, you will success soon. Luhan reply sarcatically. You knew that for us too, this is national big project! I won’t upsetting people whom believe in me. Sehun try defending himself. Luhan looks at him disbelieve, he shout on Sehun’s face, try hard on your job ok. Dont make them upset! But you upsetting me here!!! That’s make Sehun froze. That’s it. The last words that shouted by Luhan is the words that Sehun not want to hear from Luhan.

 

He upsetting his lover. He is too love to Luhan to do such thing, yet he here hearing Luhan saying that so loud. He try to reach for Luhan when he realise Luhan’s crying. He try to grab and hug him but Luhan back away.

 

That’s enough, cried Luhan shakingly. I want my old Oh Sehun back, the Sehun that always beside me. The Sehun that always with me. The Sehun that always care to his family first, Luhan cried harder. If you can give him back, then just say we are done- he chokes. Luhan calm himself before he spoke again, im so sorry but im sure you know my ego even before you married me. I can not stand with you constantly leave me like this. I need you. I need you properly here, Sehun. He sighs loudly, be beside me again or say we are end this?

 

Then Sehun runs. He runs as fast as he could out of their bedroom. Out of their house. He sure Luhan will more upset but he cant stand see Luhan’s face that full of tears. Tears he cause it. He cant think straight. He cant stand there and dealing his own emotional state to ing answer Luhan’s last question. So he decided to run and he found himself on a park around his neighborhood. He calm himself and think about what just happened, before he should face Luhan again.

 

He always knows Luhan is the clingy person. He didn’t mind about it though, the fact Luhan’s clingy act is one of the so many reason that make Sehun love him. Luhan is always adorable when he want being spoiled. Luhan was always alone since he came to Seoul. His parents miles away far, sure he need attention from someone that can loving him. Even luhan is the type that the one whom treasure his friends so that he can get attention from them.

 

When he met with Luhan, they became irresistible. Until he decided to make Luhan his only and forever. He promise to himself to give his attention as much as Luhan need. But he is a human too, he made mistake. Human made mistakes and recieve forgiveness. Then, why Luhan cant forgive him? He do this not for him only. He works hard for him, for Luhan, for his family. He just need a little understanding from Luhan.

 

It isn’t like only Luhan whom suffer. He, Sehun too suffering because misses Luhan. And if Luhan give his understanding in this situation, a month again then this big project will come to end. They’ll have time to spend together again like before, be happy again just like before. Just if...

 

But then again he is the one whom broke his promises. He knows Luhan always put some hope in every his promise. He knows Luhan can’t stand being alone. He is pregnan, Luhan is ing pregnan their third child and he sure Luhan needs him more but he lets Luhan handle their children alone. But Oh Sehun has responsibility to them whos believing him, to his office’s reputation, to the president of this project that means his own father, to his family name. He wont ruin it, in the same time he wont make Luhan upset and cry.

 

The buzzing in his pants pocket make him wake up from his deep thought. He check to see his father name on the screen. When he answer, he’s been told that they need him tonight at office. He hung up with just single ‘ok’ as reply. He stay there for ten minutes more, before he decides he ready to face Luhan to talk and give his answer.

 

It was 3 in the afternoon when he standing in front of him and Luhan bedroom’s door. He assumes that Luhan isn’t going out the bedroom when he left him crying. He take a deep breath then open the door quietly not want to scare his lover. But he hear a voice speak, “it is okay Luhan, everything will be fine.” He peeks through the slightly open door. He sees Luhan back facing him. He curling and hug his knees while sitting on the floor beside the bed. There’s phone device on the bed not far from Luhan’s head. Then Sehun realise his lover is have phone call conversation with loudspeaker.

 

“But he ne-never abandone me like this. It's been months." Luhan spoke shakingly.

 

“Everything happen for reason, im sure he has reason too.” Sehun not sure whom Luhan talk to, but that voice didn’t too unfamiliar to his ear. Still, Luhan has many friend.

 

“What is more important than his own family? His own lover?” Luhan reply to the phone a bit angrily this time.

 

“He works for his family too, remember?” comes reply from the phone.

 

“Still. I didn’t expect him to be so distance like this.” Luhan chokes and Sehun watch as he hides his face between his knees and his shoulder shaking again. Sehun wants to hug him.

 

“He will back home. He’ll back to you, no matter what.” Now, Sehun agreed to the voice on the phone internally.

 

“What if not? What if he didn’t back? What if he- he leaves me?” Luhan cried.

 

“Then come to me, i will be with you. You know that, right? You can always come to me, xiaolu.”

 

Luhan giggles a little, Sehun always know Luhan loves to called like that. And he felt a pang in his heart. There, his lover get comforted by someone-somewhere on the phone. His lover laugh even just little giggling and that is not because of him. His lover called by the nickname that his lover love so much when someone used it, mostly Sehun always used that nick. He should thank that person on the phone because he help him to comfort Luhan. But still, deep inside the way he spoke ‘You can always come to me, xiaolu.’ makes Sehun feels like he- who ever that person on the phone– is gonna take Luhan from him. He feels a little anger inside. He don’t to whom, he don’t know he angry to someon-on-the-phone or to Luhan or maybe to himself. That vioce on the phone spoke again, “that’s xiaolu, keep laughing you sound adorable.”

 

“Thankyou,” Luhan replied with his little giggling again and a little snort.

 

“Yeah sure, remember you always can tell me, call me, and i will be your home everywhere and whenever, ok?” No, Sehun wants to shout no! Luhan’s home is me. But he haold it back. Instead, he fisted his fingers and hoping Luhan will say no.

 

“Yes, thankyou Minnie.” He hears Luhan said.

 

That’s it. He take a deep breath before come toward his lover, he taps Luhan on shoulder without sound. Luhan immediately stand up and cut the phon call. He face to face with Sehun now. He felt that little relief because Sehun is back. But he didn’t believe what he hears next from his husband mouth.

 

“I decide already, lets take over. Lets end this, Luhan.” Luhan stare at Sehun for a minute full without blinking, still didn’t believe what he just heard. “Im sorry.” Sehun continue.

 

“Really?” Comes Luhan reply lowly.

 

“Sorry, Lu.”

 

“O-kay.” Luhan said shakingly. He stares at the floor with emptiness.

 

“Listen, this doesn’t mean im not love you again. I didn’t wont you force yourself to bare with me and suffer more. Im really sorry, i didn’t want you to cry more than this.” He hears Sehun said.

 

Luhan wants to scream. If you didn’t want me cry then why you do this?!?! But Luhan can’t find his voice. Too shock to what happening now. He’s pregnan and his husband decided a divorce. Is how that bad Luhan is til no one want sacrifice for him? Even not his husband, He asked to himself. He hold his chokes, hoping no tears trail down again. He hates looking pathetic. Then suddenly, he felt Sehun hug him tight, “im sorry, take good care with kids. I’ll go tonight.” He said to Luhan and kiss his lips softly. “That’s for last, promise.” Then Sehun pulling away.

 

He don’t know what is in Sehun’s mind to take that decision. But he didn’t question him futher. After all he’s the one whom ask Sehun to take a decision, but he didn’t thought Sehun will take this as last. This should be their 9th years together. Maybe Sehun had enough to his clingy side for 9 years. So, he wont burden Sehun more. No one will forever with him, he knew that. There’s none with him since the start. That night the last time he sees Sehun.

 

The last promise.

 

And..

 

There’s no forever.

 

No together forever.

 

Because forever is bull.

 

Because together means distance.

 

There’s just the last time and the broken vow.

 

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END