Today is the day where Kim Jaejoong, our lovable omma of those dorky TVXQ members, will enlist as a soldier. Although we, cassiopeia and of course Jaejoong, only given a month to prepare mentally and physically, we sure that the enlistment of him will be okay and he will comeback as a better person.

But, who knows. Behind the strong appearance that Jaejoong showed us on his last concert, there is a soft spot that Jaejoong have that make him teared up like there is no tomorrow. When he did not cry when the fans already cried, i cried. I cried because he tried to show us that he is strong to overcome this fear of enlistment and separation with his loyal fans.

Jaejoong promised us not to cry. But, we all know. Deeply inside, he cried endlessly. He cried silently. When the last song he sung, I'll Protect You played, he silently mumbled "please protect me" for numerous time. He looked so fragile at that time. It is because he experienced a lot of separation and that separation makes him feel insecure about fans leaving him. 

It feels like he did not want to end the song. So do the fans and I. I kept praying that time will stop so that i can treasure those precious last time with love. But, no can change that. We cant undo the time. That is the second time fans cried so hard during the concert. The first one was when JYJ sang Begin on Japan tour. It weaken our heart to see Jaejoong, alone, crying on stage without anyone to comfort him. Yoochun couldnot possibly came on stage and hug him. When Jaejoong bent down and turns away from fans, i know that he tried hard to hide his tears from fans view so fans will not cry.

But, as his fans, we do know everything about him. Sometimes, more than what he know about himself. We know that he couldnt bear it alone. Chanting "dont cry" will make us cry harder. But, no one know what is that two words mean. It means so precious to him. To us. To me.

When his voice was trembling. When he choked back. When he laughing in cry. When he showed a sad smile. We know. He is hurted. Insecure about the fans. Afraid of losing fans. Fear of being betrayed. But, as fans, we know what is the best for you. 

Come on Jaejoong. I hope you will endure the pain of yours. The hurted feeling of yours. And you will comeback as a healthy real man. /shed tears/

#WeWillWaitForJaejoong