Although it hurts
I'll be the first to say that I was wrong
Oh, I know I'm probably much too late
To try and apologize for my mistakes
But I just want you to know

Donghae POV

Is he the one that makes you give your beautiful gummy smile? Is he the one that can makes your heart beat faster? Is he the one that you see before you sleep at night and after you waking up in the morning? Is he the one that you want? Is he the one that you need?

I’ve seen you this morning, at the coffeeshop we usually hanging out. You are with him, looking so happy, I can’t see it through you. But, I’m sure, those eyes are shone for him. I sit on our usual spot, in the corner, because you said you want to have our quality time without being disturbed. Are you that uncomfortable with me? Because, now, you’re there, sit in the middle of the crowd with him.

“Hae! How long have you been here in Seoul??” I glared at the source of voice.

“Can’t you low your tone, hyung?” I hissed.

“Why? I call you couple of times, but you’re not hear me.”

“Because-“

“Eh..is that Hyukjae?? Hyukkie!” Great. He’s calling him. I’m not ready to meet him and this bastard just ruin the day.

“Kanginie hyung! How are you? Long time no see!” Here he come. Interwined his fingers with that guy. I can’t keep my eyes off of him. He is still beautiful since the last time I saw him. His plump lips, milky white skin, defined jawline and almond shape eyes. How can I fall out of love from him, I’m still in love with him.

“Yah! Why are you so rude, hae! Greet him!” Kangin hyung are really annoying!

“Hi, Hae.” He smiling at me but is it my imagination or I really saw flash of hurt in his eyes. “What have you been, lately? Must be busy with stuff like you always did, right?” I frowned. Yeah, I’m busy to keep you off my mind.

“Yeah, you know me.” I don’t mean to answer that cold, but my stupid tongue always did it.

“Hmm..you’re not change, I see.” I hate that stare. Please, don’t stare at me like that hyukkie.

“I’ve change. But, some points are not.” I said it in a low voice.

“What?”

“Baby, you’re still have a work to do. Won’t you late?” That damn guy had to intervere our time.

“Oh yes, I forgot! Kanginie hyung, see you later, okay?”

“How about dinner, tomorrow night? Well, I’m missing my dongsaeng here.” He’s pouting and that gross.

“Stop that pout, hyung! It’s so ugly!” I said with the boring tone.

“I’m missing you too.” Hyukjae is laughing, my hyukkie is showing his gummy smile again. I mean, he’s not my hyukkie anymore, but still… “Okay. Text me the location, I’ll be there. Bye, hyung.” And his head turn towards me. “See you, donghae.” While smiling.

It’s been 5 years, and not even a second I can forget about you. I’m longing for you, always waiting for your texts and calls just to ask simple question like ‘have you eaten yet, hae?’ or ‘what are you doing now?’ because I know it’s useless now. I used to read those messages and my answer was always yes or no. I used to hear your soft voice on the phone and I lazily picked it up just to say ‘you’re so annoying!’.

I feel so pathetic. I can’t keep you by my side and let you slip from my fingertips that easily.

“Then try to thrown away your ego.”

“What do you mean, hyung?” I glared at him.

“Say that you are sorry to him. You can’t move on if you’re not get over him.” He said while sipping his coffee.

“I can’t.”

“Saying sorry?” He lifted his eyebrow.

“I can’t move on and I won’t”

“Selfish and Full of ego.”

“Yah!”

“That’s what hyukkie told me about you.”

“What?When-“

“Listen to me, okay? Let him live happily. I’m going now. See you tomorrow, little brother.” With that, he’s leaving. Wha- When did hyukkie talk to him.  I wonder.

I forgot to tell, Kangin hyung is my best friend, well, mine and hyuk actually. We met when we’re in junior high school, he’s our senior. We just like a family, where Kangin Hyung would always be a good brother and Heechul hyung as a diva mother. Kangin hyung will always protecting hyuk, especially Heechul hyung. I guess tomorrow I’ll be able to seeing them and wait for their punishment.

I sighed when finally I arrived at their mansion, Kangin hyung dan Teuki hyung mansion. Their married already, one of the couples that succeed in the relationship. Including Heechul hyung dan Hangeng hyung. While me, I’m at relationship, I’m at fault and I can’t say sorry in front of one and only  love.

“Yah hyung! I tought you are forget abous us! Why do come back here actually? No more reason for you, right?” The brown haired guy shout to me, when I’m about to come to Kangin hyung’s living room. Kyuhyun is one of my bestfriends and one of Hyuk’s protector. Actually, he’s relationship is too, his relationship never took long.

“Well, I’m here not because of you evil kid.”

“I’m evil but I’m not as evil as you, fish.”

“I’m evil just for you.”

“At least I’m an angel for Hyuk hyung, you evil fish.” We keep on fighting. It’s not because we’re hating each other, this is how we show our love.

“Oh evil kid and evil fish, shut your damn mouth, will you? I don’t want our guest feels uncomfortable.” Heechul hyung coming from the kitchen with tray of snacks.

“What guest, heechul hyung? I thought we won’t invite anybody else except our friends.” While their busy with this ‘guest’ stuff. I heard some faint sound, someone’s chuckled.

“Hyukkie hyung!” Kyu ran towards them, before flashing his smirk to me.

We gathered in the dining room, I sit beside Leeteuk hyung, on the other side of him is Kangin hyung. Heechul hyung and Hangeng hyung are right in front of them. Kyuhyun is sitting beside me, in front of him, is the guy that I don’t even want to remember the name. I’m facing hyuk. I don’t know that I should feel happy or I should feel angry or I should feeling sad. Because right now, right in front of me, hyuk is being pampered by him. That guy is feeding him and hyuk is blushing madly. I feel like I want to splash the soup into that guy face right away. His giggling, even after that guy drop the fish. What funny? It’s riddiculous!

“Your face is red from angered, hyung.” Said Kyu while munching his food.

“Don’t stare too much, your eyes might fall.” Leeteuk hyung join the conversation.

“I don’t understand what are you guys talking about here.”

“Hae-ah.. Are you still keeping up with your hobbies? You know, the travelling things?” Heechul hyung suddenly took the chance to break the awkward situation.

“Yeah.. why?” I look at him without sparing my glances to that couples.

“You should know that your not young anymore, focus on your life, will you? I mean, I’m not seeing you for almost 5 years, rarely communicate, and we’re gathered here just because Kangin found you on the coffeshop.” He’s sounds like my mom. “Well, I know you’re rich. But, give time for your self.”

“Have you been in relationship lately, hae?” Hangeng was never spoke too much, but I know when he’s speak, that means it concerned him.

“I have not.” I don’t feel like eating anymore, but if I stop, it will getting more awkward and I don’t want to see his stare. Hyukjae stare of course.

“You’re not normal hyung.” This time the evil kid speak. “Look at you. You’re hot. Handsome. Rich. But you’re still single. Not to mention you never look attracted to women or either men.” He’s talking without looking at us, he’s munching and keep on talking.

“Well, thank you for the compliment. But I have my life and I never disturbed you, why you all feeling disturbed by it?” I feel so annoyed right now.

“Because, we care.” Teuk hyung pull me by my shoulder.

“If all of you care for me, then trying not to interfere with my life.” I said with cold tone.

“Then don’t have friends.” Kangin hyung said with anger in his tone.

“What’s up with you all??” I’m done with it. I know they’re still hating me for what I’ve done to hyuk, but I realize my mistake now. My life is suffer enough, I get my punishment from it. “I came here not for all your speech or your blabbering about me. I miss you all. Can we just talk something else?! Like.. like kyuhyun’s new game launch. Or anything that not related to me.” I stand up from my sit abruptly, startling them.

“Hae, sit down now! You’re the one whose blabbering here. Respect our guest!” Heechul hyung pointed his finger to me with his diva style.

“You’re not my mom! And he is not our guest! He is stranger!”

“Hyung, you’re being childish here. Let just sit.” Kyu pulling my hand just so I can sit again.

“I am not!”

“Hae..calm down.” I turn my gaze to Hyuk. His voice still soothing me even after for years. I look at him, his face softened with eyes full of concerned. I bit my lips. But it angered me when seeing that guy palm above my hyuk hand. I turn around and leave the dining room towards the living room, before I heard that guy talk to Hyuk.

“Am I disturbing here? Because I can go if you want?”

“No. Stay here. He’s just tired I think.” Hyuk whispered to him.

Well yes, I’m tired with my brain that full of your face,smile and our memories. I scoffed.

“So, how was London?” I startled. Hyuk now sitting beside me with an arm length.

“it’s good.”

“Hmm.. You always want to live there.” With you, of course.

“Yeah.”

“Why do you come back?” He said it in a whisper.

“Do you really hate my present?”

“No, it’s not like that , Hae.”

“Oh now you calling me Hae again.”

“Hae.. Please.” We look at each other.

“I’m sorry, Hyuk.” I bit my lip. His face softened and held my hand. “I really am sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.” I squeeze his hand.

“I forgive you. I already forgive you since long time ago.” He smiles.

“Then why do you never contact me?”

“Because I know, you’ll feel disturbed by me.”

“Who said that?”

“Hae, you left me. Without saying anything.” The tears b in his eyes. “And you want me to keep contact with you? While I was thinking, you’re hating my presence.” I wiped his tears with my thumb.

“I-“

“We’re getting married.” I looked up to see this guy, who standing right in front of us.

“Siwon-ah..”

Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made, ohh…
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes

It’s a bad beginning! And so short! I’m so sorry *bow* I was writing it in the middle of my work here. I’ll improve it on the next chap *bow again*.

Next chap are Hae and Hyuk past.

Wait for my update, okay?

Comment Pleeaasee~~