Song #3

I’m Not the Only One

 

Based on the Song:  I’m Not the Only One       by:  Sam Smith

Pairing/s:  ChanBaek / BaekYeol

Point of view:  Third Person

Length:  3k+ words

Rating:  PG

Genre:  romance, slight!angst

Description:  Chanyeol and Baekhyun were dubbed as the inseparable and the sweetest couple during their college days. Now that they’re in their fourth year of marriage, several things changed— including Baekhyun.

 

             

 

 

***

 

“Have you eaten dinner?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“You’ve worked overtime again?”

 

“I did.”

 

“Is your phone with you?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I was worried. You’ve never answered one of my calls.”

 

“I was too busy.”

 

“Who were you with?”

 

He sighed. “Yeol, I’m tired as hell. Let’s talk in the morning,” Baekhyun tiptoed and placed a lazy peck on Chanyeol’s cheek before going up the stairs. Chanyeol then hears their bedroom door closing. He heaves a sigh and walks to the kitchen, intending to discard the uneaten dinner he had prepared for his husband.

 

This seems to be their daily routine; they both go to their respective works, Chanyeol arrives home first, prepares dinner for two, and he’ll wait for Baekhyun to go home.

 

Waiting for him usually takes up to five hours. But Chanyeol doesn’t mind. Or he thinks he doesn’t. He wants to know that Baekhyun goes home safe and sound. Five hours are nothing compared to his husband’s safety.

 

But Chanyeol can’t help but wonder.

 

It’s almost the fourth year since their marriage. What could’ve possibly gone wrong?

 

Baekhyun used to go home first. Baekhyun used to cook dinner for them, not the other way around. Baekhyun used to be loud. Now he barely talks. Baekhyun used to be clingy. Baekhyun used to dote on him. Baekhyun used to be everything he isn’t right now.

 

Chanyeol does everything he can. He finds time for them to spend even if he’s busy—how come it resulted to this?

 

 

Chanyeol hurriedly fixes his things. He needs to get out of his office as soon as possible. He texted Baekhyun that they’ll be having lunch together, and was relieved when the latter agreed. The talk they were supposed to have earlier in the morning didn’t happen. Baekhyun left early for work, resulting for Chanyeol to wake up alone.

 

He opens the door of the restaurant and scans the place for Baekhyun as soon as he’s inside. It’s a bit crowded since it is lunchtime. After looking around, he then saw a very familiar figure sitting at the corner of the restaurant, but was startled to see Baekhyun talking to someone. Oh. Maybe Baek’s meeting his client here too.

 

Chanyeol went from startled to being rigid because of what he witnessed next. Baekhyun and the guy stood up, Baekhyun inches closer and pecked the guy on the cheek.

 

People don’t usually do that to their clients, do they?

 

As Chanyeol being himself, he chose to shrug the uncomfortable feeling off from whatever he saw. He then walks towards his husband.

 

“Baek,” Chanyeol called out as soon as he was standing beside the guy (which is as same height as him). Baekhyun’s face looked as of that a guy caught doing something nasty. But as fast as it flashed on his face, his expression changed to a somewhat distraught one.

 

The guy side-eyes Chanyeol, looks at Baekhyun, looks at Chanyeol again and then turns his body to face the taller completely.

 

Baekhyun’s attention shifts from the guy to Chanyeol, back and forth, and decides to speak up, stammering, “Uh... C-Chan... This is... This is W-Wonwoo. He’s.... He’s a c-close friend.”

 

Wonwoo smiles and sticks out his right hand for Chanyeol to take, “Nice to finally meet you, Park Chanyeol. I’m a very close friend of your husband.”

 

Chanyeol eyes Wonwoo once more and instead of shaking hands, he just offered an emotionless expression, “I see.”

 

Sensing the uneasiness between them, Baekhyun grabs Wonwoo’s outstretched hand and pulled him towards the restaurant’s entrance, “Uhm... Wonwoo needs to go now. I’ll just h-him out.”

 

Chanyeol nods and watch as Baekhyun and Wonwoo went out. Chanyeol sat on the chair where Wonwoo was a few moments ago. He deeply breathes and exhales. So it was him. Wonwoo.

 

Moments after, he didn’t realize Baekhyun’s already sitting across him.

 

“Sorry ‘bout that,” Baekhyun’s voice snapped Chanyeol away from his thoughts. Baekhyun offers a small smile, “I didn’t know he was... gonna visit this place too.” Why, Baek?

 

Chanyeol looks at his husband, “It’s okay,” He then grabs the menu on the table and starts scanning it, “You want to order something?”

 

“Uh... I’m already full. I’ll just watch you eat,” came Baekhyun’s meek reply. Chanyeol nodded and calls the waiter for his order.

 

While they’re waiting for his food to be served, Chanyeol decides to cut the growing silence between them.

 

“So... Wonwoo?” The taller asks casually and hopes not to sound too nosy. Nosy? Chanyeol mentally scoffs. Isn’t it proper to mind your husband’s business?

 

Gladly, Baekhyun took it as casually too, “Uh, yeah. We’ve been... uhm.. high school buddies.”

 

Chanyeol raised a brow, “How come you haven’t told me about him before?”

 

Baekhyun avoids eye contact and chose to look at the glass wall beside him, overlooking the busy street outside, “I... It probably slipped through my mind.”

 

 The taller’s brows furrowed, “Slipped? I don’t think you’ll easily forget a person you actually seemed to be very close with, Baek.”

 

Something flashed in Baekhyun’s eyes. It then left as fast as it appeared.

 

“Where is this exactly going, Yeol?” The shorter asks, his tone somewhat annoyed and accusing.

 

“Is it him, Baek?” Chanyeol asked back, “Wonwoo?”

 

Baekhyun is confused, “Yeol what—“

 

“Is it him who calls you late every night? Is it him who you’re meeting with every time you ditch our time together? Was it Wonwoo who spends time with you whenever I’m busy?” Chanyeol can’t take it anymore. The questions just flow out of his mouth. Rage and hurt plays on his face, “Is it always Wonwoo?” The taller asked.

 

Baekhyun stays silent. He’s too shocked to say something back. Why is Chanyeol suddenly angry? Baekhyun doesn’t know what’s going on. Or he does know but he’s afraid to acknowledge it.

 

After blinking his shock away, the shorter finally spoke, “Yeol... W-what is this? I don’t—“

 

Chanyeol controls himself from lashing out, “What? You don’t know?” He chuckled humorlessly, “You don’t know? Don’t play dumb, Baek. You know exactly what this is all about.” Chanyeol have had enough. I can’t play this game anymore.

 

“Yeol—”

 

“Do you really think I don’t know?” Chanyeol spats, “Am I that gullible, Baek? Do you think I didn’t know about your affair behind my back?” Chanyeol can’t hide the hurt he’s feeling, “Am I not enough?” He whispered.

 

Baekhyun avoids his gaze and looks around the place. The people around them are too busy—too busy to even take time to notice that the man in front of him is breaking—slowly falling apart.

        

He then stares at the taller like he’s figuring him out. Baekhyun can’t believe what’s happening. Not for long, the waiter arrived bearing Chanyeol’s food. The server then left when he somehow sensed tension between the customers he had served.

 

After gulping the lump on his throat, Baekhyun shook his head, “Seriously, I-I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

Chanyeol pretended it didn’t hurt more. He thought Baek would ‘fess up—he expects the other to admit it. He expects him to tell the truth. But he is left disappointed. My hope in fixing this mess is slowly dying.

                  

“I may not know everything, Baek. But I assure you I am not naïve either,” Chanyeol slung his bag on his shoulder and stands up, “We’re in a wrong setting. I didn’t expect our lunch to be like this,” he looks at Baekhyun, “I won’t be home. I don’t know for how long. I guess you need time to think things over. I guess... I guess that’s what we both need.”

                              

Chanyeol turns to leave, not before saying, “Please don’t skip meals. I don’t want you to get sick.”

 

Baekhyun’s too dumbfounded to even realize that Chanyeol already left. Nonetheless, he can’t seem to shake the hollow feeling that’s slowly creeping in his chest.

                       

            

True to his words, Chanyeol didn’t go home that night. And the night after. And the night after that. Nights became weeks. Weeks became months.

 

Baekhyun doesn’t know what to do. Their home without Chanyeol seems awfully empty. There’s no one waiting for him to go home anymore. No one to ask him how his day had been. Without Chanyeol’s presence, the house seems gloomier that it has ever been.

   

Sure, he misses the taller. He doesn’t doubt about that. But Baekhyun can’t forget what Chanyeol told him after he left that restaurant. He wants Baekhyun to ponder things over. As much as Baek wants to deny it, that’s what he badly needs. Because Chanyeol’s right—he’s confused as hell.

              

The cat has been out of the bag.

         

Baekhyun doesn’t want to know how his husband knew about it. Nor does he want to. Baekhyun knows he made a mistake. He fell in love twice—for Chanyeol and for Wonwoo while he’s already married.

     

 Oh how he knows he’s very very wrong. He’s cheating on his husband behind his back. But Baekhyun can’t help it—he didn’t know he’ll meet Wonwoo someday.

                     

Someone who he can talk to while his husband is busy. Someone he can lean on to if he has problems whenever his husband’s not around. Someone who makes him happy whenever he’s feeling lonely.

              

And he found that someone in Wonwoo. Wonwoo makes him happy—makes him feel loved and needed. Wonwoo makes him feel important.

        

Wonwoo makes him feel things Chanyeol failed to do.

       

Baekhyun doesn’t want to put the blame on his husband. He doesn’t want to be the partner that’s jealous over his other half’s work. Baekhyun understands. But he can’t shake the feeling of being neglected.

 

At first, Baekhyun feels fear that his husband might find out about his filthy secret. He makes sure that Chanyeol remains clueless about it. As time passes by, Baekhyun doesn’t feel the need to be afraid about it anymore. But he still wants Chanyeol not to know about Wonwoo.

     

Oblivious to him, his actions toward his husband have changed. That made Chanyeol to be suspicious.

                     

Baekhyun didn’t feel guilty. Not until he saw Chanyeol’s broken state. In that moment, the regret just struck him like lightning. All consequences of what he did came crashing down on him.

      

The bitter turn of their marriage.

                

The possibility of losing Chanyeol.

     

The possibility of losing him forever.

    

Just the thought of it makes Baekhyun shake his head vigorously. No. That can’t be. He can’t let that happen.

    

But he can’t let go of Wonwoo either.

      

He’s torn between choosing one of them. He doesn’t have the heart to do so. Baekhyun wants to avoid this.

   

But he knows he’s being unfair. Unfair to the both of them. He knows he can’t keep seeing Wonwoo behind Chanyeol’s back.

                   

Yet he can’t choose. Not when the both of them mean the world to him. Not when missing one of them would make him feel like a soulless being.

     

He knows his logic is twisted. Who wants to keep a husband who’s seeing a man aside from him? Definitely no one.

       

While Chanyeol is away, the taller didn’t fail in sending Baekhyun text messages every day. Messages asking if he ate and went home already. Messages reminding Baekhyun to be careful and not to stress too much.

                          

Messages that didn’t fail to make Baekhyun feel guiltier than he has ever been. And with that feeling, he would always reply. Even if they’re short ones.

                   

       

              

Chanyeol has been stressing over work. He busies himself, for him not to be reminded about what happened between him and Baekhyun.

    

He misses his husband. He misses him badly. But he needs to keep his distance. He’ll wait whenever Baekhyun would be ready—ready to sort things out. He doesn’t know what will be the outcome, but Chanyeol would not rather think about things that’ll end badly between the two of them.

                   

Chanyeol wants Baekhyun to ponder on things carefully. That’s why he hasn’t been home for two months. He wants to be on Baekhyun’s side. Sadly, that can’t happen.

             

     

It’s a Saturday and Chanyeol doesn’t have any work to do. He finds himself standing outside his and Baekhyun’s home. He had given Baekhyun enough time. If Baekhyun has his decision, today would be the right time to hear it. Whether it’s gonna mend them or break them even more.

                                   

Chanyeol raises his right fist, intending to knock when a pair of arms wraps themselves around his waist from behind. He doesn’t need to turn around to know who they belong to.

 

“Yeol...” Baekhyun murmurs on his husband’s back, “You’re h-here. Please... Please don’t g-go,” Chanyeol doesn’t see the tears that fell on Baekhyun’s cheeks, “Please d-don’t.”

            

Chanyeol can feel the hurt on the other’s voice. He controls the urge to hug the shorter back. It feels nice. Baekhyun hugging him again feels nice. Chanyeol purses his lips in a thin line and gently removes his husband’s hold on him to face Baekhyun completely.

 

Chanyeol can’t help but notice how his husband looks. The sight before him made his chest tighten. Baekhyun looks worse. He became thin in the face and he looks like he hasn’t been having enough sleep. If the bags under his eyes aren’t much of a giveaway. Has he been eating at all?

         

Chanyeol can’t help but inch closer and embrace the shorter. Baekhyun feels smaller. Chanyeol closes his eyes and just appreciates the fact that he can hug his husband after a long time. It feels a lifetime ago, after he’s allowed of this little privilege.

                  

Baekhyun didn’t hesitate and wraps his arms around the taller’s waist again. He buries his head on the latter’s chest and closes his eyes, “Yeol. Y-Yeol... I... I’m so s-sorry!” He sobs uncontrollably, “I didn’t w-want this to happen. I-I really don’t want... Please...”

    

“Sshh,” Chanyeol murmurs on top of his husband’s head. Hearing Baekhyun like this is a stab to his chest, “I’m here, Baek. Please don’t cry,” Chanyeol tries to sooth the shorter.

               

The taller can feel his husband shake his head, “N-No. I... I need to l-let this o-out,” Baekhyun hugs Chanyeol tighter, “Please, please, please... S-Stay. Yeol, d-don’t leave me.”

          

Chanyeol senses that the atmosphere outside became chillier, “Baek, come on.” He separates himself from the shorter, “We need to go inside. You’ll catch a cold.”

    

Baekhyun just sniffs and nodded his head.

     

          

After they have settled down on the couch of their living room, Chanyeol can’t help but feel nostalgic about the place. It is their home. A place that held many cherished memories. Yet, it’s also a place that reminds him of cold and lonely nights waiting for his husband to come home.

          

Chanyeol directs his attention to the other who’s sitting beside him. He prepared a mug of hot coffee for Baekhyun, intending on keeping him warm despite being cold to the touch. He also draped a blanket around him. Baekhyun is trembling. Chanyeol can’t decipher if it’s because of the chilly weather or because he has been crying too much.

     

“Baek...” Chanyeol starts.

      

Said male looks at him, still teary-eyed, “I.... Yeol...” Baekhyun puts the mug on the center table and places the blanket tighter around him, “I never knew.... This... I....” Baekhyun can’t hold back anymore and bursts into sobs once again, “Y-Yeol....” He looks at Chanyeol with a crestfallen expression and lowers his head, “I’m—I’m really.... I’m really sorry.... I’m s-so sorry...”

   

Chanyeol hushed him, “Hey, don’t cry.... Baek,” He urges gently, “Hey... Baek, look at me,” The other follows and stares at his husband, “Please don’t make this harder for yourself,” Chanyeol cups the other’s face and runs his thumbs on his cheeks, wiping his tears away.

    

“What has been done had been done,” Chanyeol controls the stinging feeling around his eyes, “The damage has been done, Baek... We can’t turn back time,” Baekhyun continues to sob, “And I’m sorry too. I’m sorry if—“

 

“N-No, Yeol...” Baekhyun shakes his head, “Y-You didn’t—“

    

“Baek, listen to me,” Chanyeol softly caresses the other’s cheeks, “Please hear me out,” Baekhyun nods softly and Chanyeol takes the cue to continue, “Whether you’ll agree to this or not, I’m also at fault. I realized this when I’m away from you. And I’m sorry. I really am... I’m sorry I made you feel neglected. I’m sorry I focused more on my work than the marriage we have. I’m sorry I hadn’t spend enough time with you as much as you wanted us to. Please... Please forgive me for being a jerk. I’m sorry...”

 

Baekhyun can’t seem to stop crying, “Yeol—“

    

Chanyeol smiles sadly at him, “I hope... I hope he makes you happy. Whenever you’re with him, I hope you’d feel valued—loved. Because you should, Baek. You should be appreciated. And... And I’m an not to do that. Because as much as it hurts,” Chanyeol fights the tears that are about to fall, “As much as it hurts.... I would... I’d rather see you happy with someone else than for you to feel abandoned because you’re tied to me,” Chanyeol is oblivious that a tear already fell on his cheek, “I want you to be happy, Baek. Even if it’s not with me anymore.”

         

Baekhyun stays silent while sobbing still.

                           

Chanyeol heaves a heavy sigh and brought his hands to hold Baekhyun’s, “Now would be the right time, don’t you think?” Chanyeol stares at their entwined hands, “Tell me what’s on your mind. I want to hear it from you. I’d like you to tell me what you’ve decided,” Chanyeol found the courage to look at Baekhyun’s already red eyes, “Tell me what I should know.”

             

After moments of silence, Baekhyun removes his hands from the taller’s hold and cups Chanyeol’s face instead, “Y-Yeol... I’m sorry... I forgive you...” Baekhyun sobs, “You should know that nothing’s wrong with you. It’s me... I... I...” He closes his eyes for a while and opens them, “I have loved you, Yeol.... I... Y-You don’t know how much I value our marriage. But... But I ch-chose to d-destroy it,” Baekhyun heaves and Chanyeol can’t help but hold Baekhyun’s hands on his face, “I’m really, really sorry, Yeol...”

            

So that was it. Chanyeol already had his answer.

            

Chanyeol gently removes Baekhyun’s hands on him and held on them, “It’s going to be okay, Baek,” No, it’s not, “I... I understand. Please know that I love you. I’ll always do... It’s been you from the start...” Chanyeol cups Baekhyun’s face once again, knowing that this would be the last time he‘ll be able to be this close to him—to hold him, “Please take care of yourself. It’ll be the last thing I’ll ask from you.”

     

Chanyeol leans forward and places a chaste kiss on Baekhyun’s forehead—a kiss meant to bid farewell.

   

All Baekhyun could do is close his eyes—with tears still streaming down his face.

              

Chanyeol finally stands up and Baekhyun follows suit. With a sad smile, Chanyeol gathers the other in a last, tight hug, “Goodbye, Baek. Thank you for being a part of me. I’ll let the legal people handle the things they need to. Things that will finally set you free from me.”

    

Chanyeol can feel his heart sinking. He lets the hug linger for a while. Just to feel Baekhyun still in his arms—to be in his arms for the last time.

               

And Baekhyun also does that—he hugs Chanyeol back with much pain and gratitude, “Th-thank you, Chanyeol... Thank you.”

                  

That made Chanyeol smile a bit, “You’re very welcome, Baekhyun. Anything to make you truly happy.”

                            

Sometimes, sacrificing your own happiness for the sake of the other means truly loving the person.

                                                             

After what seemed an eternity, Chanyeol gently separates himself from Baekhyun. With a heavy heart, he ruffles the other’s hair and showed him a small smile before leaving Baekhyun alone in the house which they used to call their home.

 

 

 

 

 

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I swear, next won't be angst.