[OST for the FF]

Maiko Fujita - One Way II EXO - My Answer II ZEDD ft Foxes - Clarity II JJ Lin - If Only

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Ever since he was a kid, Oh Sehun had always been fascinated by christmas trees. He would stare at the tall artificial heaps of green while his parents hanging some christmas decorations on the edges of the tree, clapped n delight as the colorful bulbs of light had been and the tee would shone in multicolor glows. However there were always one thing he noticed most of the time. His father would put it lastly, on the top of the tree and it always had a same shape; a star. It wasn't that excessive, but for some reason little Sehun could not take his eyes off of the glittery star that stood proudly and beautifully on the very far end up there. Maybe because it was the biggest ornaments among the others, but perhaps it was the distance between him and the factory made star that attracted him. He would stretch his small hand, stood by his toes and reached as far as he could but the star was still there; left untouched and not less far from where he was. Sehun would stared at the star longingly, wodering if it was lonely up there because Sehun hated being lonely and he could not wait for the day he became bigger like his father to reached for the star and probably hide it underneath his pillow.

Even after he grows up into a young man, much taller than his father and most of the members in his band Sehun still looks up to the very top of the tree, staring at the star crowning it. Although it is obvious that reaching for the thing is much easier, Sehun prefers not to. Because he used to watch the beauty, not grabbing it and keep it for himself. He loves to see it shines and deep inside, he is afraid. Afraid that if he takes it for himelf, the star will lose it glows and it will die. Funny thing it, that's also how he views some aspects in life, such as love. For Sehun loving someone is almost like trying to reach the star on top of the christmas tree. It's too far and he couldn't find courage to go near and eventually tries to hold it. He is a grown up man but from the inside he is still a little child he used to be. Timid and shy despite of his stern look and andsome face that his fans crazy for.

So that's why he choose to love Luhan from afar, because Luhan is like a star, shining bright everywhere he goes and Sehun wants to keep it like that. He wanted to laugh when his hyung literally was put on the very top on the 'christmas tree' made from the 12 of them on the cover of their christmas album. But then he thought it fit Luhan very much. So Sehun continued his silent worship to the elder, wrapping his feeling neatly inside. They said it was fanservice, all things they did but for Sehun they were more than that.

Luhan was Sehun's star on top of his christmas tree, but now he is a star on the night sky; so far and out of reach.

No matter how the maknae extends his hand, his palm will only grabs nothingness as it curls to a fist. The same hollow feeling will quickly envades the room in his heart, the one that used to be filled by Luhan only. It's not the same ever since the elder decided to