V

Disappear

There are times when I’m in a time that makes me feel like giving up.

“So, what else this time?”

I lifted my head, staring at the pretty girl with long brown hair that looked at me with pity. Pity because seeing her best friend who was always looks sad whenever she saw her, who didn’t even touch the chocolate pancakes from her favorite café and even play that pancake with chopping and stabbing it repeatedly with a fork. Hongbin, the girl’s name, my bestfriend, which of course surprised and probably annoyed at my behavior like this.

Overnight, Taekwoon said something which made my heart felt sick again. He was honest, brave to tell me directly and no longer keeping secret. But considering the topic was something that involves about a girl named Lee Jaehwan, who the other day told me to stay away from Taekwoon because the reason I was a crushers at their relationship, my heart certainly will not be fine.

“Tell me, eonnie! Does this time Taekwoon oppa hurt you again like he used to? Didn’t you say he is better than the first?” Hongbin issued her questions, her face was visibly upset, but there’s an expression of grief on her face, and I really feel guilty about it.

I pulled a deep breath and sigh it long. I looked at Hongbin while preparing and strengthening my heart to start a conversation.

“Taekwoon, he–”

***

“I went to see Jaehwan.”

“Oh,” I mumbled, as I was not surprised to hear his confession. Well, what should I do? Reactions such as what should I took out? Taekwoon left that night, made me wait all night and did not comeback just to see Jaehwan. That’s the reality.

“No, Hakyeon, listen to me, okay? I have a reason.” He adds, when I think he saw how the look on my face changed now. I could hear his breath he drew. “Last night I got a call from the hospital.”

“Hospital?”

“Yes,” Taekwoon nodded. “Jaehwan fainted and was rushed to the hospital. Her parents were not in South Korea since they moved to Japan a few years ago. The hospital asked me to come as her guardian because no one else who can take care of.”

Oh?

“Why should be you?” My lips are moving by itself, pull out a question that somehow came out and darted away from my lips.

“I know Jaehwan’s personal doctor for a long time. I often accompanied her to the doctor when we were together first.”

I didn’t react. Still being silent. Taekwoon resumed his words.

“Jaehwan, she, since a long time ago, her body is weak. Her heart is weak since then and although she had surgery, she was still weak although not as weak as before.” Taekwoon said, looking at me for a while and then came over and pulled my hand, held it in his big hands. “I don’t want to leave that night. I’m sorry, Hakyeon-ah. If you don’t like it, I will not come again to meet her and I would ask someone else to take care of her.”

No. Not like this. You should not be like this, Cha Hakyeon. Taekwoon already explained to you why and you should be grateful he still wants to come back to you and tell everything. Lee Jaehwan was ill. She had no one else besides Taekwoon here. How could you let someone sick like that alone? Since when hatred made you be a bad person?

I shook my head quickly, I looked at Taekwoon with a smile. “I understand.”

“What?”

“No problem. I understand. She needs you. Not a good thing to let people who need you alone, Taekwoon-ah.”

“Are you serious...? I mean, Hakyeon-ah, I-I..” Taekwoon was no longer continued his words. He turns his face for a moment. And then back at me, said, “you want to come with me to see her tomorrow?”

“Why not?”

***

“Ugh,” Hongbin trumpeted. “She was really annoying.” She hissed furiously.

“She was sick, Hongbin-ah. Not a good thing to mock people who are sick.” I said, patting her with a little hard on her hand, which instantly rewarded with a sharp look from that beautiful girl.

“You too,”

“Huh?”

“Aren’t you sick too, huh?” Hongbin snorted, looked at me with probing while sipping her cappuccino.

I stared at the beautiful girl with a frown, didn’t understand what she was saying.

“I’m healthy, Hongbin-ah. You see? I don’t have a fever, uhm, well, maybe I’m a little bit dizzy. But not as severe as Jaehwan, see?” I said, innocently.

“Geez,” Hongbin trumpeted upset. “Not sick in your body!”

“Oh-oh, then?”

“Your heart. Your feeling.”

***

Hongbin’s words this afternoon really bothers me. Kept turning in my brain and of course making me unable to concentrate on my work. Stupid girl. Sick in my heart, she said? Damn, Hongbin is stupid! Until when I got home, I still thought about what Hongbin said.

That night Taekwoon returned approximately at five o’clock because when I was just out of the shower, I could hear the sound of the front door open. And sure enough, when I went out to the kitchen, the thief of my heart was sitting while sipping orange juice from his favorite brand.

“Hey,” he said.

He widened his hand, inviting me to come into his arms. Needless to naive, I like it everytime when Taekwoon is being romantic, tender, and spoiled like this. Because of it without thinking, with a sweet smile that I threw at him, I walked into his arms. I bury my face in his chest. Although he had just come home and I knew that he was full of sweat because too tired when work, I can still smell his perfume that really has always been my favorite.

“I will visit Jaehwan tonight. If you don’t mind, of course.” He said when we finished dinner.

“I don’t mind it, stupid.”

I can heard Taekwoon’s laughing, a light laugh that despite I often heard over the years with him, remains be a laugh the most I liked in this world and still be a laugh that was able to make my heart beat faster every time to hear it.

Because when I’m with you, I will always fall in love many times in the same way.

“Good!” He exclaimed. He then stood up and pulled my hand, made me look at him with a frown. “Didn’t you say that you will come with me to visit her today?”

Ah-oh-oh!

And without waiting for me to react, Taekwoon pulled me toward the front door. Quickly I held his hand, with all my strength which is not stronger than him, but still could make him stalled and turned back at me.

“I will come with you but shouldn’t we change clothes first before we leave? We are going to the hospital, instead of going to the gym or pajama party, you idiot.” I sighed, then he tapped his forehead make himself realizing his own clothes. Taekwoon only wears a sleeveless black T-shirt and his favorite sweatpants, whereas I was only wearing pajama which highly inappropriate clothes to the hospital

Taekwoon chuckled.

***

I don’t like hospitals. The typical smell of hospital really hurts my nose. The hospital also always makes me remember bad memories. My bad past was here. The memory of concentrated red blood dripping on the floor, the faces of the doctors with a mask and green operations uniform, the sound of crying and shouting, screaming, regret, and various other bad memories keep turning in my mind. I hate things like that. I hate hospitals. The hospital made me realize my weakness itself.

“Here,” said Taekwoon, designate a room with a room number 167, a VIP room in which there was a woman who we wanted to meet. Taekwoon looked at me, perhaps aware of my face that was not too good after considering the bad things before, he then touched my cheek with his hand, looked at me deeply, as if his eyes can wander deep into my eyes, into my memory and mind. “Are you fine, Hakyeon-ah?”

I nodded my head, smiled at him, assured him that I was fine. “Come on in.” I asked him. He hesitated, but finally nodded and approve, still holding my hand, opened the door of the room.

A beautiful girl, has a sharp nose, with black short hair, sitting on a soft bed hospital, with a blanket covering her waist to the bottom. She turned to us, precisely on Taekwoon, with a big smile.

“You coming?” She cried happy.

Taekwoon nodded. Then pulled me to no longer hide behind his back. Her smile disappeared quickly when she caught my figure standing awkwardly, puzzled to be like. Indeed, this situation is really very awkward. Especially when I think she caught Taekwoon’s hand which hold my hand tightly, her eyes looked at me sharply, as of her eyes can take out a thousands of knife that stabbed me with cruel. And I shudder.

“I asked her to come with me today. You don’t mind it, do you?” Reveal Taekwoon, trying to remove the awkward feeling that had filled the room.

Miraculously, after Taekwoon speaking, she again smiled broadly. She later returned to speak with a carefree tone and sound spoiled, which really can make my ears bleed if it is too long to