“I-I’m..” Taeyeon only can hung her head down, she can’t face the woman in front of her.

“Just say it, say what you want to say to me” said the woman with a calm voice, really calm for situation like this. Taeyeon don’t know how to explain to the woman who accompanied her for 2 years, the woman who always took care of her, even give her the love that she always needed. Taeyeon still in her silent, she’s afraid, not because something that she’ll face, but she’s afraid to see the hurts in the eyes of the woman who she’s cherrised the most.

“Taeyeon, look at me!” Taeyeon meet the woman gaze, and she didn’t dare to turn her head away. And what she sees next is something that make her feel really guilty, the woman in front of her is smiles. The smile that can calming her heart, the smile that she’s adore so much. The smile that can make her smile.

“I already know the things that you want to tell me. And I understand Taeyeon-ah, I really understand. All of things that happen to us” the woman sigh still hold her gaze with Taeyeon and continue “Don’t ever blame yourself, because this is not your fault, not mine, or whoever. It’s just this cruel reality banned us, our story weren’t long lasting.”

“Jess..” Jessica smile again. Taeyeon always wondering how’s Jessica keep up all this time. How is she can put up a smile even when she’s in deep pain. Taeyeon hope that Jessica angry to her, slap her, even hate her for entire life, but no, all Jessica do is giving Taeyeon a warm smile. Jessica still care to Taeyeon, eventhough all Taeyeon gave is pain.

“I’m sorry Jess, I’m such a jerk, a coward, I’m a selfish person. I know, I shouldn’t do this to you, hurting you. I-”

“But you did Taeyeon-ah, you hurting me” Jessica cut Taeyeon off. “What happens is happened, it’s no use if you regret it. Your regret never change anything and everything, right? Still, you never be mine.” Jessica sigh and look away from Taeyeon. Her feeling for Taeyeon never change, Taeyeon still be the perfect woman in her eyes, the woman who’s gave her a chance to be happy, the woman who’s she loved with all her heart, Jessica never know until when her feeling last long, she just know that she have a strong felling towards the women.

Fight for the one you love they said. And believe her, that she’s tried to fight for her love, she already did two years ago and she got what she want, not entirely but it’s more than enough for her to be happy. But now she know that her time to fight is over, and she’s lose the battle. You can’t hold onto someone who doesn’t want to stay. And she know that Taeyeon doesn’t want to stay, that’s why she can’t holding back Taeyeon anymore.

Silent fell around them, Taeyeon don’t know what to say anymore, she just stare at Jessica who’s hung her head down. Jessica right, regretting can’t change everything. How Taeyeon really want to turn the time back, so she can fixing her mistake. If God give her that chance, she definetely stay with Jessica, loves Jessica with all her heart and never let Jessica go from her life. Sure she can do all of those things right now, she always had a choices, but like she said she’s a coward and selfish person, she can’t or too afraid to take the risk.

“Hey..” the calm voice of Jessica breaking the silent around them. Again, Jessica smile to Taeyeon for the ninth time and without Taeyeon realize she give Jessica the same smile.

“It’s time. I think you have to go now, or you’ll be late. It’s your important day, don’t make a mistake for a second time will you?” Make a mistake for a second time, Taeyeon know what Jessica mean by that. But Jessica is not a mistake for her, Jessica is like a grace.

“Jess, I’m really sorry” “You don’t have to Tae. I- I maybe not fine, but I’ll. I’ll be fine someday. And really, if you think that this is your fault, don’t be, it’s my fault too. I know from the start that it’s wrong and yet I still do it, but I never regret it. It’s hurt, believe me it’s so damn hurt Tae, but at least I’d tried to fight for the one I loved and thankyou for the chance you gave to me. It’s more than enough to made me happy.” Jessica holding back her tears that threaten to fall, she have to stay strong infront of Taeyeon, she know if she cry Taeyeon wouldn’t leave her. T

aeyeon stare at Jessica, she want to memorize all the details of beautiful face that Jessica have. The eyes, the smile, the warm gaze, the frown, Taeyeon want to remember all of that.

“Be happy Jess. I want you to be happy”

“I will, and I’m happy Tae, really. Hey, you really late Taeyeon-ah. Don’t make your bride waiting for you at yor weeding day. Geez, you really a jerk.” Jessica chuckle at her own remark.

With that Taeyeon grab Jessica hand and hug her like there’s no tomorrow. Well, there’s really no tomorrow for them. Jessica hug Taeyeon back with the same passion, this is her last chance to hug Taeyeon so she want to cherish the moment as much as she can.

Taeyeon break the hug and caress Jessica cheek. “I love you Jess. I mean it”

Jessica smile at that, “I know Tae. But you love her more” the last sentence came like a whisper.

“Now go!!” Taeyeon give Jessica a kiss in the forehead before turn her body around and walk away. Jessica follow Taeyeon figure until it’s disappear from her sight.

And Jessica break down, the tears that she holding back start to fall freely. The moment Taeyeon walk away from her is the moment Taeyeon walk away from her life. The woman she loved is already gone.

If I had the remaining time

I’ll be by your side, keeping your heart

I’ll always try to give the best for you to have

But, I’m really sorry, my time is too short

I can’t make you mine, keep your heart

Even when my heart is longing for you

I wont to hurting you for loving me

Wipe your tears away and forget me

Really,in the end of my hope I want you to be happy living your life

I love you

FIN