10:00pm

I lay out the food on the table and sit down across the the seat where you should be. Where are you?

10:30pm

I watch the clock as time ticks by. I don't want to think of you so I try to distract myself. Eventually my heart wins over my mind, and I'm flooded by thoughts of where you are and what you're doing. I look at the food in front of me, growing cold. I pick up the fork and begin to eat.

11:00pm

I wash my plate and shut off all the lights in the house before going to the living room and settling on the sofa, turning on the lamp beside me. You're still not home. I grab my phone from beside me and text you, asking when you'll be home and if you've eaten. I set it down and lean my head back on the seat, shutting my eyes.

11:30pm

You finally reply with the same message that you've been sending for the past two years. "I'll be late. Eating Out. Don't wait". A soft smile plays on my lips. Sometimes I wonder if it's an automatic message. I go to the kitchen and place the food, I spent the whole day preparing for you, in the fridge, before settling back on the sofa.

12:00am

I'm waiting. Don't know what for. An album on the table before me captures my attention and I open it up.

Our wedding album.

As I flip through each page, I'm amused by your frigidness. My fingertips softly caress the pictures of you. I sigh and put the album down.The darkness of the house seems to be closing in on me, taunting me. I bring my knees up to my chest and hug them. The clock hypnotizes me as my eyelids start to close. I urge myself to fight it as my eyelids close once again. A voice inside me questions me, "What are you waiting for? Nothing is going to change. He doesn't care. It's a marriage he was forced into, all for service; you knew that from the beginning so stop longing for more. In the end, you're going to be the fool." I scold the mischevious thought."I'm not expecting anything from him, I just don't want to be an inconvenience. I don't love him. I won't get hurt. " The voice is still for a while, as if it has resigned, but softly it whispers " Liar. Why are you waiting?". I can't respond.

1:00am

It's getting harder to stay awake. My eyes are dry from staring at the clock. They begin to water. I blink a few times, and tears fall over my cheeks. I quickly wipe them away as I check my phone. No new texts. I scroll through our texts, reading through the familiar routine. It's a copy and paste of me asking where you are and you replying to not wait. But why do I still wait every day?

2:00am

I've fallen asleep, my head resting on my knees. I'm haunted by your cold eyes. I wake up, startled. I wipe my wet cheeks and slowly drift back into sleep. But this time, I dream of a genuine smile from you.. It's a smile I've never actually seen.

3:00am

Hey. Where are you? Are you safe? Have you eaten? These thoughts flood my mind, through closed eyes. My head still lays on my knees.I hug knees tighter.

Do you ever think of me?

 I miss you. 

4:00am

When my mom had first told me about the marriage meeting, I was appalled. I had my whole life in front of me, and the last thing on my mind was love and marriage. Luhan. I had seen you from the disrance a couple of times at the occasional company parties. You were always surrounded by girls, gushing over you, trying to win you over, but you would respond with a look of casual nonchalance. I always kept my distance. I didn't want to be hurt. 

Finally I came to terms with it. A man who I had never met, yet would spend my whole life with. It was frightening but slowly, despite never talking to you, my heart warmed to your sight. That night, when you walked into my door, I was flustered.You smiled and greeted me, but I could tell that your smile wasn't in your eyes. As our parents talked over dinner, you invited me out to the