He's nervous.

In fact, he always does. 

But, he feels it more in this particular day.

He squeezes his hand with the other one and bit his lips when the sight of the venue caught his attention, even from where he sits inside the car.

"Daebak!" shout his maknae who sits down on the middle seat next to the window, he even glued his face against it as if he's trying his best to count the people out there. "Why is there already crowded at this hour? The event will start at six, right? Assuming it still at six."

"Last time I check, it still does," said their manager from the driver seat, answering his maknae while he tried to do maneuver among the people who walks as fast as they can toward the venue.

"They want to watch us rehearsal, I think," said Jr, who sits next to their manager upfront, as he also looked outside, toward the crowded as well. 

He also takes a glance with corner of his eyes, but it just for 10 seconds before he turned away and rest his head to the head of the car seat and close his eyes, as he's trying to be patient and stop counting on much longer it will take for manager hyung to drive them to the real venue.

"You've been awfully quiet," said his leader who sits next to him and seems noticed that he doesn't talk much, well, he doesn't feeling like talking right now. "This is strange."

"Not really," answered him shortly, he tries to talk discreetly, afraid that their conversation will attract the other members, he didn't bother to open his eyes. "I'm just..... sleepy, that's all."

He doesn't have to open his eyes to his leader anyway, to know that JB hyung is doubting his words because he can feel his leader's gaze clearly, as if he tries to read him through his facial expression, which always give him away. "Is this you, regretting?" asked Jaebum hyung all of sudden, which makes him open his eyes and turn his head to glare at his leader, he was little bit taken aback.

"Mouragu (What)?" asked him confused. "Who is regretting?" continued him as he's glaring to JB hyung who apparently has also rested his head on the car  seat while crossing his arms around his chest.

"You, of course," said JB as he turns to look at him, hyung is even lifting one eyebrow, emphasize the obvious. "Are you regret for... ? well, you know what I mean."

"Yes, I know what you mean, and no, I'm not regret of anything, why you even ask me such a question, hyung?" said Jackson as he little bit upset for this "accusation", no matter how close it is to the truth. "It almost feels like an insulting if I don't know you better."

"You do know that I know you're not really upset with me, I just wanna say that you've been...." JB stops as he tried to find the right words to express what he sees from his happy-go-lucky dongsaeng. "... less happy nowadays."

"Wha... I do not less happy, I am happy," denied him as the wrinkle in his forehead deepen as the "wrong" words keeps coming at him.

"What JB means is...." Mark who also sits next to him on the other side, interrupt their conversation as if he tries to help their leader before he managed to "abuse" him. "ever since we have that conversation, you've been "not" yourself, so we thought it's related, wasn't it?"

Jackson takes a long sigh and sweep his hand to his face, as if he tried to brush away any expression he made which derives them to such conclusion, even if it's true, he doesn't have the right to be upset anymore nor, as they accused him, regret, because they did give him a choice and he decided not to take it.

"I don't....." Jackson stops for a while before  he looks at his leader and Mark hyung back and forth. "... these few days have been tiring for me and I don't want to be the one who holds you guys back, so I'm just trying to keep up... that's all, no regretting about anything," continue him as he brighten his face, trying to give them an assurance. Well, he knows why they're worried, he also worried for himself, but it doesn't mean they can keep poking him about it. 

Both JB and Mark take a glance and look at each other in silence, try to determine whether they should force Jackson more or just believe what his explanation for his "less-happy" attitude.

Somehow Mark knows that people might see Jackson as happy go-lucky guy all the time, they think his dongsaeng don't have a problem of his own or they probably think that he doesn't have anything to think about beside playing around and be charming, but they've been together for quite sometimes now, mostly him, as they both sleep in the same room, so he knows Jackson like the back of his hands and no matter how much Jackson is trying to look convincing, he can't believe him, at least not right away, and so does JB.

But, he will not be the one who forces someone to do what they don't wanna do or say something they don't wanna say, so he shakes his head a little to JB, just a little gesture, pointing his own opinion to not force their dongsaeng further. The leader seems agreed with him because JB takes a sigh before he said, "Okay then," said JB which make his dongsaeng look relieved, but then his leader just have to add something more, "but if you change your mind about the following-unfollowing thing, I just want to let you know that I don't mind," which makes Jackson looked at JB with disbelieve, because he thought they've done with the subject of conversation. 

"Unbelievable," mumbling Jackson as he rolled his eyes while Mark is shaking his head to the leader before he turn his eyes away.

Fortunately, Jackson is save and don't have to prolong this conversation with his hyungs any further as their manager has succeeded in bringing them to the entrance door, well before ordering them to get out from the car and search for their own waiting room. As they're entering the building venue, he's unconsciously swept his eyes around, searching for familiar faces which he tried to recognize, but instead of finding someone, anyone he would recognize, the building is full with unfamiliar faces and as they walk to find their own dressing room, he and s greet to the few of familiar faces from the event organizer before they're arrive at their room.

Before he realizes, they've all start to busy changing into their clothes into the stage outfits, some of them tried to sit down patiently while their coordi noona work her magic and some others sit somewhere else, waiting for their turn. Jackson is one of them who need to wait while noona starting with his giant maknae and his cute dongsaeng, Bambam. He close his eyes as he waits, until Jr touch his shoulder and shake it softly, telling him that his turn for the make over.

He's yawn and walk to the chair which just seated by Jr, right next to Youngjae who, is humming a random song. He thought it will take a while for noona to "beautifying" him, at least half an hour or so and he's hoping he can continue his nap in between, but then, fifteen minutes later, noona already told him that she's done and he can get up from the chair, give some space for Mark who still makeupless. 

Jackson is stand up from the chair almost at the same time as JB entering their dressing room. His leader stops at the doorway while he's sweeping his eyes around the room. "Did anyone see Yugyeomi-mie?" asked him. "The director asked him to do rehearsal for the opening performance."

It makes Jackson turned around and swept his eyes too, trying to spot the maknae whereabout, but apparently, there's no maknae to be found, not even on the corner of the room.

"I don't see him," answered him as he starts to confuse as he realizes the absence of his maknae. "I don't even know he's leaving the room." continued him again.

"He and Bambam are exploring the stage," answered Jr without turning his eyes away from his book as he makes himself comfortable on one of the couch. "Or so they've said."

"Exploring the stage?" asked Mark who still busily with his stage appearance, while he's staring at JB through the mirror. "Since when we do that?"

"Apparently," Jr. finally raise his eyes and look at Mark hyung while a smile form in his handsome face. "it starts from now." 

"Exploring my **s," said Jackson as he looked for his snapback and put it on. "I bet they've been ogling over girl group. I'll search for them and drag their **s back here," continued him as he walks toward the door and disappear.

JB who don't have a chance to say something or even react to Jackson's "offer", just standing there with open mouth as he's watching Jackson's back disappear in the corner, before he turned around and looked at Mark through the mirror while the oldest member smirk at him while Jr just shrugged his shoulder.

"Who's going to bet that he is going to look for her?"