Kyungsoo could feel the mood lift in the house over the past few days. It was awkward at first, almost as if he had forgotten how to interact with his parents. Then as he forced himself to make the moves (partly driven by guilt), he could really see the difference. If his parents were surprised, they didn't show it.

It was good to have people to talk to more often, and it made his mood better too. Meanwhile, the yellow bird seemed to have grown accustomed to him, always hopping around in the cage and watching Kyungsoo with its eyes. Even though it did not sing or do anything extra ordinary, Kyungsoo liked the fact that there was something alive accompanying him while he painted.

He painted and talked, and slowly, things changed for the better. He no longer shut the room door, letting his mother stroll in occassionally to check on him. Every now and then, she would give Kyungsoo ideas on new designs but being an innately shy person, she would leave after a sentence or two. It gave Kyungsoo some sort of comfort and it made him realise how much human contact he needed.

His parents had been rather cool about the yellow bird, and it seemed that his father was more fond of it than him. Kyungsoo spied him giving nuts and specially bought mealworms to the bird whenever he had spare time. His mother on the other hand did not really pay much attention to it. 

Kyungsoo had no idea why he hadn't named the creature though. His cousin whom he had accompanied that day had given him numerous names, but the idea of giving the bird a name somehow didn't sit well with him. The bird seemed to him a rather free spirit, and if he named it, Kyungsoo thought it would be restricting it. And so no name was given.

It seemed to grow accustomed to Kyungsoo's presence as the days went by as well. Even though the bird made no protest in staying inside the cage, Kyungsoo opened the cage to let it stretch its wings almost everyday (with the windows in the room closed of course). He liked the idea of being free, his job as an artist made him appreciate freedom even more.

"Hey Kyungsoo!" a voice called him from behind. Carrying his mother's cake in his arms, he turned around in surprise to see who was it who had called him. A raven haired man smiled and waved at him as he walked towards Kyungsoo. For a moment, Kyungsoo forgot the man's name. Then he began panicking. It would be quite embarrassing if he couldn't get the name up by the time he came over.

Smiley, Sunny... Black hair. Oh right. It's Chanyeol.

"I haven't seen you in a while," the man said amiably a few steps before the spot where Kyungsoo was standing at, "How's it going?" Kyungsoo assumed he must be talking about his artwork. Kyungsoo then shrugged and replied, "Fine. How about you? Why did you move back here?" He was honestly curious, since the taller had moved to Japan after openly declaring his love for anime during university.

As Kyungsoo observed the other, he realised with a start that he was obviously much shorter than him. He didn't remember being this short. Chanyeol replied with a bright smile, "I had other businesses."

"Oh really? The last time I remembered, you were saying nothing could stop your love for anime."

"Something more important popped up," Chanyeol answered Kyungsoo naturally, cool enough to vanquish the doubt floating in his head. Kyungsoo nodded in understanding, all the while still self-consciously comparing their heights. Goodness, was I ever this short? Just then, Chanyeol asked with a frown, "Um, why are you staring at my hair?"

Kyungsoo had to blink multiple times before he could pull himself out of his thoughts. After that, he feigned ignorance and hugged the cake box tighter as he said blandly, "Nothing. You straightened your hair." The last part came out of him in a hurry to cover his thoughts, but in all seriousness, Chanyeol no longer had his curly hair which the math professor always disliked.

Chanyeol straightened his back with a small smile, as if a sudden sweet memory had filled his mind. He then explained sheepishly, "I liked my curly hair..." "Then why did you straighten it?" Kyungsoo asked in return a little too sharply. Chanyeol's eyes flashed in surprise, like a deer caught in the headlights. "I... Er...", he stuttered, "You know what? It's a long story."

Kyungsoo shrugged at his answer. It wasn't his business anyway. The afternoon sun had begun to shine down hotly and Kyungsoo worried for the state of the well creamed vanilla cake. He nodded once again as he started stepping backwards, "Gotta go, Chan. My dad's waiting for me. We'll catch up another time."

Kyungsoo caught something flash quickly in Chanyeol's eyes and true enough, Chanyeol started, fast enough before Kyungsoo had decided to turn away, "I was actually planning a meet-up." That caught Kyungsoo's attention. He tilted his head in a cautious manner and questioned, "Meet-up?"

"Our old gang, you know. Sehun, Yixing, Junmyeon. The lot of them." Chanyeol then flashed him another big smile which showed much enthusiasm but when Kyungsoo heard about it, his stomach did a flip. Suddenly, he felt claustrophobic, which was strange because he didn't have claustrophobia.

He was just about to make an excuse to escape when Chanyeol made a request, "I'm planning to hold it on the opening day of the music school. Could you by any chance help me to paint a picture or two?" He then gave Kyungsoo a pleading look with a hopeful smile. Seeing it on a twenty-five year old grown man was weird though. Nevertheless, Kyungsoo reconsidered the request. When it came to painting, it was hard to resist...

He readjusted the grip on the cake box before saying slowly, "I'll... see how." But not as tempting when it involved other people.

"Please."

While mentally grumbling about his choice, Kyungsoo trudged back to the apartment under the sun. Why why why why why. However the moment he entered the house, Kyungsoo got whisked away immediately by his father to prepare the birthday dinner. By the time they were making the dessert, all of Kyungsoo's previous worries had dissipated. The two of them did not talk much, but the silence was comfortable.

At dinner, his mother was pleasantly surprised. Kyungsoo was even more surprised when she kissed him on the cheek. Something warm flowered in his chest but quickly withered away and he soon forgot about it as they ate their dinner. 

It started off rather comfortably, then his mother began asking him questions. She poked at a piece of venison as she asked, "Kyungsoo?" He lifted his head sharply and smashed the flower he had carved in the mashed potatoes, "Yes Mother?"

"How's your art exhibition planning coming up?"

Kyungsoo looked ruefully at his ruined art piece before answering, "Quite okay. It's not mine entirely anyway! It's a collaboration-" His mother chuckled, "About more than half of the pieces there are going to be yours, dear." Kyungsoo didn't give any answer. He knew that as a matter of fact, but if he admitted it, it would sound proud.

His father said while chewing, "You know... I've heard that your bunch is coming back, and they're gonna help to contribute to the exhibition." Kyungsoo stopped tapping on the plate with his fork when he heard that. How does he know? Still looking down at the plate, Kyungsoo listened to his father continue, "I met Chanyeol today while getting the vegetables, he told me."

God. What?

"That's great! I haven't seen them all together in a while."

I shouldn't have agreed.

"When is Sehun returning? That child. I wonder how much he has grown."

Kyungsoo bit his lip in a surge of impatience. Why is she talking about Sehun again? It's always him. After all these years- His train of thoughts were then interrupted by his father's question, his tone light, "Are you happy to see them? It's been seven years."

The irritance in the pit of his stomach grew but Kyungsoo gave his parents a neutral smile.

By the time Kyungsoo entered the room after his bathe, his anger had dissipated. However, he knew the long faded demon had begun to claw its way out of his heart again, reawakened by the mention of a certain someone- and another. "Do Kyungsoo, calm down. He's not going to come back here anytime soon."

Biting down the frustration, he picked up a brush, squeezed an array of colors onto the worn wooden palette, then started painting. He forced all his attention onto the canvas in front of him. Paint. Dib. Paint. Dib. Wash. Paint. Dib.

Until a bleeding flower stared back into his eyes.

Neither satisfied nor particular ecstatic, Kyungsoo got up from his chair with a hollowing drag after dumping the brushes into the water pot. He closed the sketch book, even though the flower was still dripping with red paint. Without any other word, he shut the room lights and dived into the comfort of the blankets on the bed.

He was in an empty space again. This time it was a room, painted light pink, but empty. Walking up to a wall, he ran his finger over the cold surface. The walls were lightly carved with roses, and he stepped back when he noticed that.

"I see you have some color now."

Kyungsoo said without turning around, his voice unusually cold, "So you've decided to visit." "After a while?" the boy questioned, "You are the one who has been drifting around in endless darkness in your dreams." A shadow appeared beside Kyungsoo while he continued staring at the rose embedded walls. The boy asked again, "Tell me. What happened today?"

"Why should you bother?" Kyungsoo snapped back, his vision still fixed on the wall. Roses... The more he looked, the more he saw flashes of red on them. The boy stepped into view, and Kyungsoo tried his best not to ogle at his dressing. The boy had a wreath of white feathers on his head, and he wore a dirt brown dappled with yellow, toga like dress. If anything, the boy looked ethereal- Or even non human. It was too perfect, from the way the boy's body seemed perfectly at ease and lithe and his dressing. And perfection would lead to a certain discrepancy.

The boy smiled at the ground, "You seem to have gotten the first clue. Care telling me what it is?" "Family," Kyungsoo answered immediately, his stomach bubbling with uncertainty as he said the word. The other nodded approvingly as he took a step towards Kyungsoo and faced the wall together.

Another flash of red, now more blinding flashed in Kyungsoo's mind and eyes. The uncertainty grew, making it difficult for him to contain his calm composure. An uncanny smile spread it's way across the boy's face as he commented, "Beautiful roses aren't they." He stepped forward and touched the wall, "But beauty fades, so does life. And life is reborn again from death."

The words chilled Kyungsoo's blood to the core. Beauty fades, so does life. He stood rooted to the ground as the other continued, in an amused voice, "The rose. Bleeding." His words hit Kyungsoo's heart like shards of glass, cold and painful. He asked in a steady breath, "How did you know?"

When the boy did not reply, Kyungsoo asked again, feeling anger bubble in him, "How do you know?" "Nature knows all, Do Kyungsoo," the boy said harshly, turning around to look at him. "Death does not go unnoticed. And Death, does not only apply to the heart stopping." Suddenly, Kyungsoo felt fear. For the first time in a long time, he felt fear. He feared this boy. Biting his teeth hard, he thought, This is only a dream, only a dream...

"That boy Sehun..."

"Stop."

"You hate him very much."

"Stop!"

"You hate how you're compared to him."

It's only a dream.

"You hate how he didn't save her."

It's only a dream, Kyungsoo.

"You hate his existence."

"You hate yourself."

Kyungsoo didn't realise he was sobbing uncontrollably until he felt warm arms wrap around him. The scent of freshly turned soiled filled his senses as he buried his face into the thick cotton of the other's clothing. "You stopped living seven years ago, Kyungsoo," the boy said in an impossibly gentle voice. "Do you want to see how this place will look like? With color?" Kyungsoo nodded obediently like an innocent child, his eyes still blurred by the tears.

"Then you have to forgive. Nobody can make it without friends." Kyungsoo felt his fingers wipe away the tears on his cheek and he bit his tongue to stop himself from crying. "And I'll be there, beside you."

A hand touched his forehead gently and the pastel room faded into darkness.

The moment Kyungsoo woke up, he immediately felt his face. They were dry. He didn't cry. He sat on the bed, staring at the opposite wall, thinking. You stopped living seven years ago, Kyungsoo. He repeated it out loud, still in a trance. It felt unreal, but he could still feel the boy's breath on his cheek. The warm touch on his cheek still lingered.

"You stopped living seven years ago," he said it again.

From his bedside, a series of tweets sounded and Kyungsoo looked at the bird. The bird hoped around somehow cheerfully, making him smile. He lay back down onto his bed, savouring the warmth from the boy. He lay there for a few minutes, til the sun shone onto his bed post. You stopped living seven years ago.

It wasn't a dream.

are you for real?