>AUTHOR'S NOTE<<

This was an excercise I start doing in order to overcome the writer's block, following some rules of Neil Gaiman, the ones I found on Tumblr, it took me more than a week to write this and I have playing with the idea for even longer. Dreams are such a powerful thing, they could either make us feel better or worst, they can hide thousands of meanings and they can also mean nothing. Dreams, like writting, are an infinite pool.

I hope you kids enjoy it and I hope you see more beyonde the lines, feel free to coment your thoughts about the story, about the meaning of certain things and well, even if you just want to say that you like it, I'll apreciate it.

The Song that I used as inspiration is "Alkaline" by Timeflies, in case you want to hear it while reading.

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This could be all you need, this could be all you see

You’re trying to hide, from what you could find

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Dreams, it’s so easy to get stuck in dreams, I know it because I’ve been stuck on the same dream for a while, is a simple dream but it gets me every time.

Is just a big place, it looks like the school’s entrance, there are tons of people around me but everyone is like froze on space and time and I’m the only one moving, I move so slowly though, so I start taking small steps trying to not touch anyone, is like I can tell they would dissolve into salt if I do, and then I notice someone else moving too, but I’m not as fast as that other person because when I manage to turn, everything gets blurry, sometimes I manage to get hold of the edges of the person but because everything is so blurry I just sigh and then all ends.

“Fany, wake up lazy you are going to be late”

I sat on the bed feeling dizzy, my older brother is still grinning at me from the door, he knows I hate waking up early, so he has dimed himself my personal alarm while our older sister cooks breakfast.

After all, is just us now, I swallow the lump on my throat when the reality hits me, I guess he notices it because he looks away for a second, then he claps his hands and smile at me.

“Rise up sunshine…you don’t want to be late for your last first day at High School” He smiles just like dad and that makes me smile a bit

He leaves after he can see I’m actually awake, I have forgotten today is my last first day, maybe in other circumstances I would be happier but for the moment I just felt the bitterness on my mouth after the dream.

Is always the same dream, but I know it means something, I believe that things happen for a reason. Even the worst things, have a reason to be.

I don’t feel like taking a shower so I put my long and black hair on a bun at the top of my head, I clean my face and then change, I put some light make up and I’m ready to go, so I took my backpack and I go downstairs, my room is on the attic of our house, a request I made to my parents on my 12^th birthday.

“Are you excited?” My sister is already dress for work as my brother is still in pajamas

She works as a nurse, my brother works on our uncle’s workshop, they are looking at me like that again, sometimes I felt like they are just expecting me to say those words to them but I’m not really sure what words they are expecting.

“Yes, I plan to give my last best shot…uh, I’m not really hungry right now so I’ll just go, I’ll see you guys later” I kiss her on the cheek and I kiss him on the forehead before grabbing my keys.

I heard a faint “Is she okay?” but I go on and closed the door behind me as I leave the house, I got to the old car park on the street, I got inside and start the engine, I sigh as I take my earphones from my backpack, the radio is not amusing to me so I put my earphones and push play on my iPod, I let the music fill my ears before I start to drive towards school.

There’s always a sequel from being stuck on a dream for so long, for a couple seconds you hold onto the way it makes you feel, it makes me feel so good and yet it confuses, but not matter how much you hold onto because you forget about it.

And you end up feeling hollow, that’s the sequel.

School has never been exciting to me but is not like I like skipping classes, well at least not all the time, I heard people banging lockers, girls squealing of excitement and fear because this is it, it’s the end of our “young years”, I smile at some of them, those who smile back at me, but my attention comes back to the front, I feel eyes on me and for some reason I stopped moving, I begin to turn my head to the right when I feel someone grabbing my arm.

“Hey” My head changes direction and then I’m facing my friend Sunny

“Hey Sunny” I smile at the shortest girl now clinging to my arm

“I know everyone is excited but I’m scared” She pouts at me as she waves at a group of people standing near us

“Don’t be scared, just think of it as the next level on the game” I wink at her twinkling eyes

“Yes, that’s good, thanks…how are you?” We start walking again

I know her question hides so much meaning behind it but I also know that Sunny is just looking up for me.

“I’m okay…I guess I’m just…I don’t know I guess it hasn’t sink yet” I smile awkwardly at her but she just leans her head on my shoulder

“That’s okay too, let’s go to class”

Sunny and me have been friends since she moved 10 years ago, she was a tiny and bubbly girl, she was on my classroom and we actually click, I just to be bubbly too, we became instant friends, she would tell me about her friends back from where she just to live and I introduce her to the friends I had. In the strangest way, only one of the people I introduce to her kept being our friend, the others just slowly “grow up” us.

As I was opening my notebook when I saw a piece of blue paper land over my hand, I look to my right and saw my friend Simon looking serious to the front, but his side smirk gave him away, Simon was the friend who stuck, I saw from the corner of my eye how he throw another piece of blue paper towards Sunny who was sitting behind me.

“wanna skip the rest of the day and hang out over the mall?”

I scribbled down my answer before throwing the piece of paper now neatly fold towards him, I saw a few seconds after another piece of paper flying too.

“Simon, do you mind telling us what’s so amusing on the back?” Our teacher glare at us

“Well ma’am, I found history in general amusing” He smile at her and she just continue glaring at us before turning away and kept the class

Simon can get away everything with that smile

I felt a soft tap on my shoulder, I leaned on my seat and smile when Sunny whisper something on my ear, I nod to her and then resume my attention to the class.

All people might found their first last day exciting but I believe I’ll have another first last days so I think I can skip this one.

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This could be all you know, and everywhere you go

Closing your eyes, If only to find

You start to believe

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Simon decided we should start our escapade on lunch hour, so we made our way to the parking lot and I told Sunny to come with me, just like she had ask me on class before, Simon leaded the way on his dad’s truck. Sunny was talking about a party later, a few years after she moved she mention that a friend of hers had moved here too, but she was on a different school along with her sister so I never really met her, I knew she would ask me and Simon to go with her.

I also knew I would say yes, because I like how sometimes music drown every sound around me, and for a moment I could get lost in the music, I guess I’ve been so lost lately, that now it was hard not to be it.

I wonder, maybe if I close my eyes as the music drowns every sound, could I be able to see my dream again

Sunny was looking to the window, something rare because she was always talking or at least making noises, she turn and poke my cheek to which I reply with a smile letting her know I was paying attention to her.

“Have you ever been in love Fany?”

She ask me that like it was such a normal thing, like falling in love was something that happens all days, I frown when I feel my heart tightening on my chest, I glance at her and she was looking at her hands, just like when we were kids.

When her dad scolded her or when she failed a test, she would always look at her hands, it sooth her for a reason, it was like she was trying to calm the whirlwind inside her mind.

I think I have

“I-I don’t know Sunny…why?”

She leaned her head on my shoulder, she just shrugged her shoulders and then she put her cell phone to blast music, I pat her hand and she shook her head, I felt her hair on my neck and I realized how important it was for her.

“Have you Sunny…fall in love?”

“I think so…but I don’t know either…how do you describe falling in love?”

Is like when you are asleep and then you dream your fall, usually you would wake up scared or anxious because you just wake up before your face hit the ground, falling in love it felts like that, like you are falling but before your face hits the ground someone holds you.

“Is like falling down…like when you’re dreaming but you don’t really fall…someone is there to catch you”

She looked at me with a small smile, I just smile shortly at her before I push her a bit to park properly, she was looking at me the same way that my sibling would, like she was expecting me to say those words, but just like with them, I wasn’t sure of what words she was expecting to hear.

Who had caught your heart Sunny?

We walk for a while before we decide to just buy food and sit next to the fountains outside the mall, Simon seemed more playful lately, he was stealing my fries and then he would steal pieces of bread from Sunny, I looked away because for a second I felt like I had caught a glint on Simon’s eyes while stealing a piece of bread, Sunny however seemed everything but annoyed at this.

“So…I was telling Fany about a party tonight, my friend’s sister is throwing a party and well they invite me and they say I could bring my friends…wanna come?”

“Hmm, I don’t know, you know the old man doesn’t let me take the truck after 6” Simon poke Sunny’s nose when she stole him a piece of pizza for me and her

“I can drive us there” I said like it was nothing

Because really it was nothing, my sister and brother would be happy to know I’ll be out, they always seemed to be scared of me getting lost on my room.

What’s so wrong about being lost?

“Are you sure?” Simon looked at me with hope

“Yeah, and if it gets too late I bet they let us crash right Sunny?” I took another sip from my drink

“Yeah, actually I was going to sleep there in case you two ditch me, we can share the floor of my friend’s room” Sunny’s mood improve quickly too

“Okay, we have plans tonight then” Simon smiled at us and I swear I felt Sunny’s eyes twinkled at his smile

I let Sunny start to tell us about this new console, Simon was just leaning his head over the edge of the wall where we were sitting, I closed my eyes for a second and before I could actually think about it I was dreaming.

The same place, I’m really starting to think this is the entrance of the school, I felt the air getting in my lungs, I’m moving a bit faster this time, I move taking my time, I don’t want that someone dissolves into salt.

There, I see it, someone else moving, I think, this time I am sure is a girl, how can she be so fast? But I see her.

I think I can see her face.

“Hey Sunny”

“Hey…this is Simon and this…is Fany” I feel a soft poke on my face and I lazily open my eyes

I was so close to see her, is a she, now I know she is a girl.

“Hmm” I stretch feeling a bit angry for not being able to see more of my dream.

“Tired?”

I frown and look up to the unfamiliar voice, the sun was pretty much on my eyes and I can barely make the face of the person standing in front of us, Simon is using his hand to cover partially the Sun rays, Sunny is now up on her feet and she is standing close to the person.

“A little” I reply mostly of education than anything

“Yeah…sometimes dreaming too much is tiring” I can barely see this person but I can tell she’s smiling at me

“So, 8 pm right?” Sunny is now playing with a lock of hair from the girl

“Yeah, do you guys prefer something to drink?” She turns at me and Simon

“Uh…I-I don’t drink” Simon cleared his throat while looking at me

“We would buy sodas too, I like orange soda but some people hate it” She looks at me and I feel like she can see behind my eyes, which is funny because I can barely see her face.

“Simon likes Ginger Ale, I like whiskey and Sunny likes Vodka” I reply while still trying to figure out who this girl is

She is familiar yet I have never seen her before

“Ginger Ale for Simon, Vodka for Sunny…whiskey for you” I stop frowning when she nods softly at me

She turn and say something to Sunny, Simon had now moved and he was laying on the concrete, his head on my left leg as he start to hummed a song, Sunny clapped her hands and the stranger girl suddenly turn away and left.

“8 pm sharp…she kind of ask me for help to set the things on the house, do you guys mind go to the pre-party and party, and probably to the post party?” Sunny took her place on the other side of me and lie on her side, her head on my right leg

“I don’t mind…but Fany has the last word, she is driving us”

I was still looking towards where the girl was standing a few seconds ago, I feel Sunny grabbing my hand, she start to play with my fingers while Simon start to hummed louder.

Can it be…

“I don’t mind at all”

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But if this all we are

Stuck in a dream so bad, when you’re wide awake

You try to escape, but you’re already free

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I smiled when I saw my brother taking a nap on the couch, my sister was still at work but I had already told her about the party, she seemed happy to know I was going out even when it was basically the start of the week but then she got scared with the idea of me driving at night, but after I reassured her that we will sleepover there she seemed happier.

I guess she has reasons to be scared, after all they were driving at night.

“Hey” I softly pat my brother’s face

“Hi…are you already leaving?”

“Yes, I need to pick up Simon, Sunny is actually waiting outside…I’ll see you tomorrow after school”

“Okay…have fun…and don’t drink too much”

“Yeah…I love you” I whisper to him

I smile at his open eyes, he stares at me for a second before I see his eyes twinkling, there it goes again, he is looking at me that way and I don’t know what to say, he smiles back and then whispers back.

“I love you too Fany…all of you sis”

I turn on my heels and made my way to the door, I made sure I closed it after me before facing Sunny, she is playing with her phone while sitting on the sidewalk, her cute and fluffy hair is now a soft baby pink, it looks like cotton candy.

You always change the color when something important is about to happen

“Ready?”

“Yes…hey Fany…thanks”

“For what?”

“You know…give us a ride, thanks”

I just smiled at her.

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We are alkaline

Searching desperately, wander streets at night

Fighting just to breathe

We are alkaline, chasing ecstasy

Tied to what we find

Lost in symphony of alkaline

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I notice how Simon looked different yet he looks the same, he is wearing more cologne than usual but is the same one he always use, his hair also looks more spiky but again is mold the same way as always, the only thing different is his left stud earring, Simon has like a collection of them and just like Sunny changes her hair color, Simon changes the color of it stud.

He usually wears a black or green one, he is wearing a hot pink one, and it kinda matches his pink and purple shirt.

Pink…I used to like pink

“Here we are” I park the car on the garage door just like Sunny told me to, I see Simon checking himself on the rearview mirror and I wink at him, he smiles softly at me and then gets out of the car, Sunny is already out calling her friend.

I take a deep breath and then leave the car, I secure it and check everything is closed before I go and stand next to Simon, Sunny is already squealing at the door, she seems happy and that makes me smile.

Sunny is wearing shorts and a sweater, Simon is wearing a shirt and black pants, I’m wearing jeans and a flannel shirt, white and blue, the door opens and a younger girl appears wearing a crock top, tight jeans and boots, her blonde and long hair is getting tangled on her long earrings, she eyes us with a big frown.

“Where is Taeyeon?” Sunny smiles at her

“Uh…Sunny I didn’t recognize you…your hair is…pink” The girl seems shock

“Yeah…I could say the same about you Hyo, you look older than you are with that blonde hair” Sunny replies has a tiny ring of annoyance

“Thanks…uh, Taeyeon is on the kitchen…come on”

I frown at Sunny but she just shrugs her shoulders, Simon follows her and I follow him, the house is quite big and has so many decorations, there are a lot of paintings and movie posters, I feel like going inside a house of a celebrity, the girl lead us to the kitchen, Sunny runs and jumps on the person cooking, I heard a faint “hmm” from behind but I ignore it, Simon stands awkwardly next to me.

“I’ll take care from here Hyo, go and get ready” Finally she turns around, still with Sunny clutching at her neck

“I’m ready” the reply is quickly and goes along with a an annoyed face

“You are not wearing that top…mom made it clear to me, or you cover yourself more or I’ll call it off Hyo” I notice a scary tone under those words

She takes her title of big sister seriously

“Ugh you’re so boring…fine, I’ll change my top…so unfair, I’m not that young any way” The girl leaves the kitchen fuming and almost pushing me aside

“HYO BEHAVE YOUR AGE PLEASE” She yells but there’s only one reply

“BITE ME”

I smile at Simon who seems worry at me, Sunny then walks towards me to kiss my cheek, I smile at her too.

“I’m so sorry…she is a spoiled brat sometimes…well, all the times…our fault though” She shrugs

“Simon is worry because he is an only child” Sunny leaned towards him while poking his cheek

“What about you?” She nods at me

“I’m the youngest on my family…so I’m actually the one being pampered” I gave her a small smile

“Still you don’t seem like a brat…your parents must be very proud of you” I feel every word coming from like a needle getting under my nails

They were…I think

“They die a year ago…so I don’t really know”

The silence that follow my reply will be a horrible memory I will never forget, Simon just sigh while side hugging me, Sunny move and hug me leaning her head on my chest, Sunny’s friend just stare at me while nodding to me.

“I’m sorry”

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You’re fast asleep, chasing the past you keep

Trying to go but somehow you know

That you’ll never leave and if this is all we have

Stuck in a dream so bad

When you’re wide awake, you try to escape

But you’re already free

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I put the last bunch of plastic red cups on the table, Simon was helping Sunny’s friend with some decorations that her younger sister had pretty much whine about it, I felt a pair of arms encircling my waist and I had to smile.

“Fany…I’m really sorry”

“It’s okay…I shouldn’t have reply like that, she didn’t know Sunny…I just get sensitive sometimes and…I should be apologizing to her” I kiss the top of her fluffy hair

“You don’t have to apologize…I love you so much Fany” She tiptoe and kiss my forehead

I giggle at her, she peck my cheek again and pat my , I rolled my eyes at her but she just wink at me. She moved to the other side of the room where Simon was looking at us, she pat his too and then she slap her friend’s making a loud noise.

“Aw” she turned around and glare at Sunny

“I love you too Taeyeon…and you too Simon” I noticed her slight blush on her cheeks while looking at Simon

Could it be…well, it would make sense

“Well, that’s it, thanks for helping me…the people will start to arrive in like an hour so how about we play some videogame at my room?” She pretty much have been looking to Sunny since the incident on her kitchen

“Yay” Sunny couldn’t be happier

“Sure…Fany” Simon looked at me

“Yeah…it sounds nice”

We all walked behind her as she lead the way towards the stairs, we passed some frames on the wall with family pictures, I frown when I saw a picture of 2 girls hugging a boy who was laughing.

I admit that my eyes almost were almost popping out of my face when we got to her room, it was painted on a dark purple with blue stripes, she had pictures on a wall along with posters, and there was a white wall and it had several different draws, I notice a guitar on a corner and a lot of music sheets on the floor.

“Sorry, I don’t really clean a lot…sit wherever you like…Sunny what do you want to play?”

“Mario Kart”

Sunny run and start pulling controls out of the closet while Simon just sat on the floor leaning on the bed, I took the edge of the bed, the room felt like an open door to this girl named Taeyeon, I felt more guilt for my earlier actions towards her.

“Okay, I’ll take the teal one, Fany will have the pink one, Taeyeon the purple one and Simon likes red” Sunny give us the controls and then sit next to Simon on the floor

Taeyeon came to sit next to me on the bed, she seemed quite calm but her actions of biting her finger and nails gave her away, I took notice to apologize to her, she didn’t know and I snapped at her, I smiled when I saw her starting to pull a piece of finger off.

You bite your nails when you are nervous uh

“I want to be Princess Peach” Simon selected the character before he turned at me and smile

“I want to be Browser then” Sunny pout at him

“I’ll be Yoshi” Taeyeon stop biting her nail as I continue looking at Simon at Sunny

I wonder…are they-

“Fany” Simon was frowning at me

“Uh…I’ll be Toad” I smile at him and saw Sunny pouting more

Oh Sunny…don’t be ridiculous

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We are alkaline

Searching desperately, wander streets at night

Fighting just to breathe

We are alkaline, chasing ecstasy

Tied to what we find

Lost in symphony of alkaline

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So much noise, I like noise, for a second I can forget the silence that haunts me every day, I can forget everything and yet, I remember all of it, talking about extrapolating my feelings, but is just nice, to be able to just for a second, forget everything.

“Hey”

I smiled at the tall guy waving at me, he approached me and start to try to initiate a conversation, in other situations I would be gladly trying to at least be nice at him but I didn’t want to, I wanted to feel numb and he wasn’t helping.

Why he doesn’t take the hint?

“Hi…uh, can I talk to you for a second?” Taeyeon appeared out of nowhere

“Uh, yes…sorry” I pretty much run away from him following her

I notice she had taken me to the backyard, it was just as huge as the front, but it was empty, there was a small Jacuzzi and a swing, she sat on it and then smiled at me.

“I’m sorry…you look like you wanted to be alone and that dude was quite oblivious”

“Thanks”

A weird silence wrapped around us but somehow this silence didn’t bother me, she start to move on the swing while holding a red plastic cup on one hand, she looked lost and that make it so endearing, I sit on the floor close to the swing while closing my eyes for a second.

Maybe in this silence I can dream again

“I’m really sorry for earlier…I didn’t know” Her voice was really nice

“I know…I’m sorry for snapping at you…is a sensitive subject for me…it-“ I swallowed the lump on my throat

“It feels like it happen a few seconds ago…I know…it never really stops feeling that way” her voice took a 180° change from nice to hollow

I open my eyes and notice her side, I feel something inside of me moving, suddenly my dream comeback at me, the way it feels, how my touch turns everyone into salt, for a moment my dreams stops being comforting and becomes a nightmare.

“Aren’t you tired?”

“What?”

“Of dreaming…Sunny has mentioned to me, that you like to dream things…you sometimes get stuck on a particular one right…aren’t you tired?” She closed her eyes and starts to swing herself

I’ve never thought about it

“Is…is the only thing that occupies my mind…dreaming, it takes away my attention…but I don’t know…I can’t tell anymore” I look at the grass, I’ve never admitted it to anyone

I like to get stuck on dreams because that way I don’t think on what I have lost

“I lost my older brother when I was 10, he was just running around, playing basketball when suddenly he just fade…just like that, in matter of seconds he just die…I haven’t dream since that day” I feel the breeze she was creating while swinging next to me

I look up and saw her, suddenly she was moving so fast, and I was moving so slow, I want to grab her hand and tell her that sometimes dreaming is tiring, I feel like she could understand, I want to reach to her but I’m afraid, what would it be if I reach out and she turns into salt?

Can you be her?

“Dreaming is overrated” Her voice change again, to a playful one

“Just sleeping is also overrated” I reply to her on the same tone

She stops swinging and looks at me, her hand is white for holding so tight, her other hand is pushing the contents of the cup on , I feel how the time slows down as her eyes seemed to read mine, is like seen a reflection, she throws the cup to the floor and start to swing fully now.

And once again, she is moving faster than me, and just the idea of touching her, makes the time feels thick, and my hands tingles, I really think I can turn her into salt.

If I could get a sign…I need a sign to know you are her…but then, if you are her then what happens next?

“What do you dream about?”

“uh?” I look at her trying to understand her question

She was not only moving fast physically but also it seem like she was moving faster on emotions

“Do you dream about them? Your parents” her feet were curled, in a stance to avoid the floor

“No…I don’t dream about them…I…I’ve been stuck in this dream where everyone is moving really slow but I move a bit fast…I can’t touch anyone because something bad happens…and there’s this other person…that moves even faster than me…I never get to see this person’s face…dreaming is tiring” I let it out as a whisper but something tells me she still heard me

“I always close my eyes and then open them…I feel like I have just blink and then everything begins again…the funny thing is…I dreamed something just a week ago, for the first time in almost 8 years I dreamed something” she stop abruptly the swing and turn towards me, she smiled softly at me

You look pretty when you smile

“What did you dreamed about?” I feel myself leaning closer to her

“I dreamed about my brother…I was trying to reach for him, but I was moving so fast, just when I thought I could reach for him, I heard someone else, someone behind me…it was a girl and she was moving so slow…I yell at her “move faster” but just when she starts to turn, I’m already gone…I’m moving so fast that I even passed my brother…and I can’t stop and when I touch people…they…”

Can it be…

“Do they turn into salt?”

She seems shock at my question but nods anyway, I sigh as I feel something clicking inside of me, I start to chuckle, because suddenly everything makes sense, I think about how I have refuse myself to dream about my parents and in a way the dream is about them, I notice her looking at me with a frown.

“What would you think if I told you that I’ve been having that dream for the past year but just a week ago I start seen this other person there…what would you think if I dare myself to say, you are the person moving faster and I’m the person moving slower”

She studies my face, I’m getting ready for her to dismiss me, for her to laugh and tell me she has been joking and that I’m a weirdo, but she just extends her hand at me, I hesitated before extending mine.

The way our skin makes contact, makes me gasp, I was so afraid she would turn into salt too, she seems also afraid of it as she tights her grip on my hand.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Taeyeon…I’m sorry for moving so fast”

“Nice to meet you Taeyeon…I’m Fany…I’m sorry for moving so slow”

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But if you find you first, whisper a thousand words

You open your eyes, you finally find

That now you believe

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The music that had enchanted the house for the last hours has fade away, I took my time putting the used plastic cups on a garbage bag while Simon is next to me cleaning a cushion someone stained. Sunny and Taeyeon are upstairs checking the rooms, apparently some people had gone upstairs and Taeyeon was worried.

After we talk about dreams, me and Taeyeon just stood still on the backyard, holding hands, we didn’t talk, if it wasn’t for Sunny who suddenly appear with teary eyes I think we could have just stay that way.

“” Simon pushed the cushion down and closed his eyes

“What?”

“The stupid stain doesn’t come off…I’m so stupid”

He sat on the floor holding his head, I knew something had happened when I saw Sunny earlier but I didn’t ask, Sunny needed time and I was okay with waiting, Simon on the other hand was more the type to share as long as you show concern.

“What happened?”

“Huh?”

“Come on…I’m not stupid…I’ve saw the glances, the small gestures, I have seen the sparkle on your eyes before but they weren’t as clear as today…what happened between you and Sunny?”

He shook his head at me and then cover his face, I put the trash bag aside and sat next to him, in a general situation I would hug him or at least pat his arm, maybe even be playful to make him feel better but something deep inside of me told me this time I should just be there for him.

I don’t know how long we sat there, the silence wasn’t unbearable but it was filled with a bittersweet scent that lingers on the tip of my tongue, just like when someone sprays deodorant and you are just passing by the place and the scent gets to your mouth.

I notice Taeyeon and Sunny not coming, I guess Sunny was venting to Taeyeon, which made me feel a little bad, it made me feel useless in a way.

“I…She kissed me and I panic…I didn’t kiss her back and when I try to explain she ran away…Fany…I didn’t meant to…I just…I’m so stupid”

I smile at the last part, I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, sometimes I forgot how innocent and just nice person Simon is, Simon is a gentlemen and for this he had never kissed anyone before. This fact was actually something that Sunny didn’t know because Simon had made me pinky swear to him that no one would know.

Aren´t we all afraid of not being enough to the object of our affection?

“Simon…you are not stupid, now please help me clean this and when we finished you will go and ask Sunny a chance to talk to her, you will tell her about that thing I pinky swear to you to never talk about, then you will explain to her you panic not because you don’t feel the same way, more like you panic because you do…got it?”

“Y-yeah”

I stand up and he followed me along, it wasn’t until I pat his arm and saw his face I notice the thin wet lines on his face, which he cleaned quickly when we heard footsteps, just like in time Sunny appeared with Taeyeon, she seemed quite sad but at least calmer.

“Sunny” I called her while smiling softly at her

She just walk towards me and hug me tightly, Simon was now cleaning on the other side of the room, while Taeyeon was now just standing there looking at me and Sunny.

On my dreams, my touch turned people into salt. On the reality, I just see how my touch can make someone feel warm.

“Sunny…talk, don’t run away…talk sunny bunny” I kissed her head and patted her back

“I’m scared” Her small whimper made me smile

Sunny was strong and yet she was tender, she was smart yet she sometimes lack common sense, she was so sweet yet she could be bitter. Sunny, just like any other person was a paradox, one of my favorites one to be honest.

“Aren’t we all scared sunny bunny?”

She broke the hug and cleaned her face, she walk towards Simon and then poked his back, Simon turn quickly and frowned at the sad face he had in front, I nod at him and he just grabbed Sunny’s hand and pulled her away from us.

It was just Taeyeon and me again, I sigh before resuming my earlier task, I push some more cups on the trash bag while feeling a pair of eyes on my back, I didn’t know what would happen next, we had talk, we had hold hands, we had stare at each other’s eyes for a long time but what did this meant.

I closed the bag and put the cushion on the couch again, I sat on the floor after I put the trash bag on the kitchen, Taeyeon was still on the same point, she was just staring at me, it kind of make me feel weird, I start feeling how my cheeks were starting to heat up so I just ignore her stare and closed my eyes, I start feeling how heavy my eyelids were, I could feel how my body was relaxing.

I had been stuck for a while on a dream, dreaming is something that takes a toll on people, dreams can be heavy or light, they can become a nightmare or paradise, but the most important thing is that sometimes dreaming doesn’t allow you to rest.

I open my eyes only to see the same place, I was dreaming once again, everything seem the same but there was something on the air, it made the sky look a bit different, I start noticing the people moving, I start to avoid them I was sure that I would see Taeyeon there, but I was so distracted on trying to find her I touch someone, I turn around when I felt the graze on my arm, I had touch a couple, they were a bit old, I couldn’t really see their faces but it strike a pain on my heart seen them turned into salt.

For been so focus on finding her, I had hurt someone else.

“Fany” Sunny’s voice pulled me back from my dream

“Hmm”

“Come on…you fell asleep on the floor, Simon can you help me please?”

I felt Simon’s arms pulling me, he carry me over his shoulder like a sack, Sunny was leading the way, I notice the pictures on the wall, I was still feeling upset, I knew it was a dream but I had hurt someone, and for what, to find someone I barely knew.

“Here are some pillows, blankets and cushions…sorry I don’t have another bed for you Simon”

“It’s okay, I like sleeping on the floor, I’ll just put Fany here, she is kind of breaking my back”

I was awake now but I pretend to still be sleep, I didn’t want to confront anyone at the moment, Sunny covered me and kissed my forehead, Simon sat on the edge of the bed and started to move to take out his shoes.

“Thanks Taeyeon” Sunny’s voice sound so much better now

I guess you two talk uh

“I should thank you, uh…if you guys need something else tell me, my parents room is down this hall…uh well, goodnight…sleep well” Taeyeon’s voice fade away after she closed the door

I heard rustling noises, I guess Sunny was helping Simon to get ready so we could sleep but I never really felt Sunny’s weight on the bed, after a while I heard some moves and some hush whispers, then the noise died too. I dared myself to look at the side of the bed and I couldn’t help to smile when I saw the image in front of me, Simon was lying on his side with Sunny hugging him, they were now slightly snoring.

Well, I guess that is just me and my dreams…and Taeyeon

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We are alkaline

Searching desperately, wander streets at night

Fighting just to breathe

We are alkaline, chasing ecstasy

Tied to what we find

Lost in symphony of alkaline

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I look around, I could tell I was already dreaming, it look like the same place of the dream that had been stuck in my head, but it felt different. It felt even different from the one earlier on, I didn’t move, still afraid of touching someone, I didn’t want to hurt anyone, so I just stood there, while everyone start to move, I kept my feet glued to the floor, I notice the people trying to find the couple from before but I couldn’t find them.

I don’t know how much time passed but the people start to move a bit faster, I hugged myself trying to avoid touching anyone, I felt so tired and constricted but at the same time I was scared, I look to the sky and I marvel at how different this dream’s sky was, it was almost purple with hints of pink, the more I looked at it the more I felt the need to move, so I looked away and that’s when I notice her, moving so fast between the people, I could see her turning at me but I didn’t move.

The sky suddenly grow dark, clouds begin to cover the purple and pink, leaving just small spaces where the purple and pink became just hues, it made me felt sad, it made me felt how tight I was hugging myself, my arms were crushing my chest, I could feel tears beginning to form on my eyes, I content them behind my eyelids.

This was a different dream, this was not “my” dream, I felt something hitting my cheek, the moment I open my eyes and that the tears rolled down my face the sky cried with me, the people begin to disappear, everything become foggy and I decide to risk it.

I moved, lowering my arms I move towards her, I wasn’t sure I would be able to hold her but I still move, I extend my arm and before I could even think I saw a shadow walking towards me, the couple were there, I knew they would touch my arm but it was too late, I closed my eyes not wanting to relive the experience, I felt something gracing my fingertips but this felt different from before.

“I got you”

I open my eyes and the first thing I saw was her, everything had stop, the rain, the people, the fogginess was gone, it was just the two of us, she was holding my hand, she was sweating, her eyes were filled with something I couldn’t describe, it was just like watching the sky, it mesmerized me.

“W-what?”

“I said…I’ve got you…no need to be scared…I got you”

I turn over my shoulder, the couple was still there, they were smiling, I could finally see their faces, I have longed so much to see their faces, I smile at them and they just wave at me, they turn away and begin to walk, they were holding hands. I could taste the tears that were now rolling down my face, slightly touching the corner of my lips

“How...How did you find me?”

“My brother…he told me…isn’t funny, how tears taste like salt?”

I realized she was crying too, she was still grabbing my hand, I saw her touch her face and then tasting the tip of her fingers, I felt something crashing deep inside of me, and even when the noise inside of me was frightening, I felt like I could finally breath.

“Maybe…they taste like salt because we still touch and in a level we have changed us…”

“Maybe…or maybe it just means you can still touch someone and even when you hurt them it doesn’t mean it’s permanent”

I looked at her eyes one last time and realized that for a moment I couldn’t care less why tears tasted like salt, the only thing that matter was the fact that she was holding my hand, and it felt good.

I opened my eyes only to see the bedroom slightly getting brighter, I pushed the covers off my body, Simon and Sunny were still sleeping on the floor, I got up and with careful I walk towards the door, I opened it and walked to the end of the hall, I softly knocked on the door, it got open quite quickly revealing a sleepy Taeyeon rubbing her eyes.

“Hi” She wave at me awkwardly

“Hi…uh, did you-“ I couldn’t look at her directly

“Dream?” she finished my sentence

“Yeah…uh…I think I saw my parents and you say you saw your brother…on the dream I mean” I clarified myself

“I did…I have forgotten how my brother look...Do you think that they-“

“I guess so…uh, can I just test something?” I cut her off, the idea made me a bit sad because it would meant that the slight hope of my parents being gone was just a nightmare evaporate

“Yeah”

She extend her hand towards me, like she knew what I wanted to test, I risk once again to move and extend my hand too, I grabbed hers and felt a tiny jolt traveling through my arm, she seemed to feel it too as she smile shyly at me.

“Maybe…this is all I have need” I smile at her

“What?” She tilted her

“You”

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This could be all you need