Oneshot
Goodbye, SoulmateJongin grasps his arm; firm and tight. His eyes betray the cold hard exterior he is trying to portray when Luhan sees his bottom lip quiver. Jongin likes to think of him as someone strong, an impenetrable force that projects indifference outside the walls he built around himself. Emotions were hard to come out of the surface from Jongin when the camera isn't rolling, and this shook Luhan's determination to walk away. He waits for Jongin to say something, anything.
'Ask me to stay,' Luhan himself was close to tears, the salty drops resting on his tear ducts and just waiting to come rushing down to his cheeks, 'I will if you ask me to.'
Instead, Jongin shakes his head and tightens his now deathly grip. Luhan can feel his blood gathering where Jongin is constricting its flow. His lips open, and he closes it again as if not wanting to say what he thought. Jongin tries again, and he says, "You're leaving us."
Luhan wants to shout at him. He wants to say, 'No. You guys were the one who left me. You left me when the company was opressing me and pretended to not see.'
Instead Luhan says, in his most gentle voice, "I have to go, Jongin." Jongin's eyes narrow into judging slits before saying, "Apparently, you're not as strong as you think you are."
'I'm not. Not strong at all. Not strong enough to leave if you ask me to stay.' Luhan sniffs, trying to control the tears that were threatening to fall any second now. Jongin notices, and his grip loses its tightness. His hand moves from above his elbow to Luhan's narrow wrist. Jongin bites his lip and says almost hesitantly but with an adamant tone, "Are you leaving me?"
The real question behind it was screaming in Luhan's face. Screaming in Jongin's voice in anger and as if it was daring him to say that yes, he is leaving. Jongin was mocking him, and his real question is, 'Will you be able to leave me?' Luhan knows it was cocky and arrogant of Jongin, and he knows he can't. No matter what happens, no matter who will come next after Jongin, will never compare and they both know this.
Luhan knows it with every part of his being, every inch of his body, every touch and look that Jongin gives him: Jongin is not a lesson wherein he will move on and learn from, he's his soulmate. He knows it will never be like this again. Know that another person will never be able to light a fire in him that ceases to burn like what Jongin did. And Jongin knows it too.
Luhan breathes in and out before speaking, "I need to." 'I need to leave you. But I will never let go.' Jongin's hand releases his wrist and falls back to his side. He releases a breath he was holding in, runs his fingers over his hair and looks to the side before his eyes went back to Luhan's.
"Alright," Jongin gestures to Luhan's frame with his other hand that was resting inside his jean pocket, "That's all I needed to ask." Jongin turns to leave and Luhan couldn't hold back his tears anymore. The last thing he heard before his sobs took over the defeaning silence is Jongin slamming the door close.
He crumbles to the floor and never hears Jongin punching the wall outside and his broken sobs.
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