I always thought the stories that fools in love talk about are stupid. They know nothing but diluting themselves into their idealistic fantasies. As for me, I do not believe in such things but it all changed when I met him. I am starting to hate the friend label we created for ourselves. I do not exactly remember how it happened between us. Before I could stop myself from falling into the dark abyss of despair and beyond the reach of returning, I am slowly giving my soul to the devil.

               It was five before noon, the house was filled with silence. It was not a bad thing... At least that was the case for me. People say to be careful of what you wished for but sometimes, I wished it stays this way forever. I went downstairs and sat down on the couch, skimming through the channels. It was just the same old, same old stuff on television over and over again. There was nothing new. Life was a bit too dull. As if someone answered my prayers, my phone vibrated. His name was big and clear on the caller display. I was tempted not to answer; however, I decided to answer it.

               At first, I thought it was a simple hangout. But, you can say it was definitely not the case. We agreed to meet at a coffee shop nearby my place. The place was filled with an upbeat atmosphere; the strong aroma of coffee beans could be scented upon stepping inside. I looked around and noticed a hand waving at me. I walked towards him. He motioned me to sit down and asked, "Do you want anything, Eun-Ji?"

               I took a seat in front of him and think for a bit before answering, "No thank you." Our conversation was just that simple. Then, we went to his place and did things that I never imagine we would do. Something that was so precious to a woman, something that should only be given away to her husband, it was gone just like that at the age of seventeen. That one time became twice and that twice, it became so many times that I lost count.

               Our clothes were off, he pushed me onto the bed and aggressively kissed the nape of my neck. I could feel the big, hard bulge upon my skin. I let out a moan here and there once in a while. My body was memorized by his lingering touches. I never knew that touches in such places would make my body squirm and softly let the moan escape. "Sung-Kyu," I moaned for his name. I never thought something this crazy would make my mind go blank.

               "I just want to put it in you, Eun-Ji," he whispered into my ears. I begged for it. I begged him to put it in me. He aroused the lust within me. The desires that was buried deep inside me. He took his fingers out of me and put on a . Slowly, he entered inside me.

               I must admit, it was painful. The hymen was broken. The pain was gradually replaced with pleasure. Our bodies were pressed together, exchanging body heat. And with our hips ing against each other, the day was filled with nothing but lust and desires.

               Before I knew it, summer was coming to an end. The deal we made was going to be over soon. I did not expect to become like one of those people... falling in love was not the plan. I always wondered if he would noticed me more if I gave more to him, but I guess not.

               One fine summer day, he called off the deal out of nowhere. I looked at him, lost and confused. "I'm sorry, Eun-Ji. I know this is unfair to you but it would not benefit any of us. I found someone I really like..." And from there, I literally zoned out. However the sound and colors that can be seen as he talked about this person, the sparkles that lit in his tiny eyes, at that moment, I knew that he no longer belong to me.

               "I completely understand. You know something, Sung-Kyu? I like you, but since you found someone, I guess it's impossible to stay as friends?" I didn't expect my statement would turn into a question mark. The Kim Sung-Kyu I knew was mature; he's always there to fulfill my lust.

               He smiled and patted my head, "Eun-Ji, I never knew that you like me but I am sure you will find somebody that will love you for who you are. I am sorry for hurting you and for all the things I have done. But we do not have to cut all ties, we can still be friends. If you need me, I will always be there for you just like an older brother." An older brother, huh?

               "Maybe after I pick myself up." I replied. I gave him one last hug before walking away. I am sure he knew what I meant by that. I guess it hurts knowing that someone you love, love someone else. To be honest, I never seen him with such sparkling eyes.

               After that day, I cried to myself day and night in hopes to forget all our memories. I hated the friend label that we created between us. In this friend with benefits relationship, I knew that I was getting myself into some deep mess. But, I did it anyways. To be loved and to love, it is definitely better to be loved.