Today is just like another snowy winter day here in New York. New York? Yeah you didn’t read it wrong, I was having my very long vacation here in New York enjoying my life. Ever since I’m being forced out from you-know-the-name-of-the-group I’ve more time for myself, my family, friends, *cough boyfriend cough* and my blanc & eclare. Sometimes I’m glad I could escape from idol life, being an idol is really tiring not like I don’t enjoying it, just it’s take away all your time with your beloved one, your privacy and YOUR PRIVACY. I need to repeat the words just because. By the way I’m sitting here with a cup of hot tea facing my apartment windows enjoying the scenery of busy New York streets.

            At a time like this I can’t help but to reminiscing my old days, me as a trainee at one of the biggest entertainment agency in South Korea, me as a member of the national girls group in South Korea and number 1 girl group in Asian (I don’t want to be arrogant but yeah it’s the fact, I couldn’t deny it). You will be saying how lucky to be me right? it seems like I live without any obstacle in my journey but try to be a trainee for 7 years at such a young age and be most hated trainee by netizen then you can come back here and saying how lucky my life is.

            Do I ever regret it? No, I don’t and would never. You can’t just look at it on the bad side only, just like a coins they have two side, bad things always comes with a good things. My hard works for 7  years as a trainee was paid off, I can meet all the greats people in the entertainment industry whom makes me discover a lot of things I didn’t know before, people says “experience is a good teacher” and I couldn’t agree more. 

            I’m grateful I was once an SM trainee and a member of the national girls group that makes me who I am now, without them maybe people won’t recognized me as an Ice Princess Jessica Jung or Fashion Airport Queen Jessica Jung and without them I wouldn’t have so many fans who are so cute like me that always stay by my side supporting me all the times, I love them. Of course fans come so does all the haters, but who cares about the haters? (Shake it off shake it off lol) being in the industry for quite a long time now I thought of all the hurtful comments as an encourage words for me to do better and be a strong woman. Sometimes I got hurt too but not as much as when I was just starting my career as an idol. And last but not least without SM I wouldn’t have the chance to meet HIM.

            HIM the boy with puppy eyes, husky voice, gentle touch and caring smile who was ever be mine, he’s living in the past my past as sad as it sounds but he’s one of so many wonderful things had happened in my life. He’s not my first but he’s the first that I can’t /never/ forget out of so (not really) many guys I dated before, maybe if the fate wouldn’t want to bring us together he won’t going to be my last but he would be the last person I will forget. You may now doubt my love for my boyfriend, believe me when I say I do love him.

            He -my wonderful ex boyfriend- is that one person whose face is drawn in the back of my mind. It had been a while after we last saw each other but I still r