Going to You

The room was dark, dimly lit by the large screen in front of them. A movie theater, that's where the were. And what movie was playing on the screen didn't really matter. The real show was in the middle of the theater.

And Sunggyu should really should have his eyes closed, but he didn't want to miss the sight in front of him. It's not like he could see much (especially with them opened just a crack), just an up-close look at pores and a black line of eyelashes, but Sunggyu just wanted to make sure that Woohyun was still there because he was finally kissing for more than a few seconds. And they were really kissing. Lips were meshing, pecking, biting, pulling. All of it. And best of all, Woohyun seemed to be actually enjoying it, if the soft moans he let out meant anything. Also his hand gripped the nape of Sunggyu’s neck tightly as if he was afraid of the other running away. Ironic.

But then he stopped. Sunggyu opened his eyes fully, afraid that he had done something wrong, but Woohyun’s eyes were still shut. He pulled away just far enough that Sunggyu could feel the other’s lips move as he spoke, “How much longer?”

Sunggyu gulped and brought his hands to Woohyun’s cheeks. “Keep going. They’re still watching,” whispered, bringing the younger in closer and planting a light kiss on his lips.

“Who?”

“Everybody,” Sunggyu lied.

At that Woohyun got up from his seat. , he’s going to leave. But he didn’t. He crawled onto Sunggyu’s lap and brought his lips to elder’s ear. “Then let’s give them a good show.” Sunggyu could feel Woohyun smirking against his neck, and a few seconds later he felt tongue being dragged over his pulse point. The younger could probably feel Sunggyu’s heartbeat going haywire, which might explain the throaty chuckle coming from Woohyun moments later.

But Sunggyu didn’t stop the other for overstepping the boundaries of PDA, nor did he have to. The theater was empty and had been empty since the moment that they stepped inside. But somehow Sunggyu had convinced Woohyun that some friends of his mother were in the back of the theater. He had expected some handholding, and if he was lucky, maybe Woohyun would let him rest his head on his shoulder. But he didn’t expect this. Never this. And Woohyun had to know that no one else was there. It wasn’t a hard one to figure out. But then why did he follow along?

Woohyun wouldn’t let Sunggyu dwell on that. “Hyung,” he breathed onto Sunggyu’s collar bone. His hand was traveling down the elder’s chest, down to his stomach, pausing for just a bit before reaching Sunggyu’s…”I really want to…”

“Yea! Give us a show! Wooooooooo!”

Sunggyu immediately pulled away and was surprised to find someone sitting in the row in front of them, turned around and watching them while casually eating popcorn. “D-Dongwoo?” Sunggyu stammered in surprise.

“Aw! Why’d you stop?” Dongwoo whined. Sunggyu didn’t answer and just continued to stare at his ex in disbelief. “While you’re taking a bit of a break,” Dongwoo began speaking, filling in the silence. “I want you to meet my new boyfriend, Choi Hongman.” Sunggyu almost fell out of his seat. How did he miss the giant of a man sitting right next to tiny Dongwoo? Hongman was glowering at Sunggyu while sipping on his soda. Sunggyu could feel his blood run cold. “He said that he wanted to ‘talk to you alone,’” Dongwoo continued and somehow ended up on Hongman’s back with his small head peeking over his new boyfriend’s shoulders. “I don’t know what it’s about, but he said it was important,” the last word was almost muffled by Hongman cracking his massive knuckles.

And it was at this moment that Sunggyu realized that Woohyun was gone (mostly because he was thinking of using the other as a human shield). “I…I better go find Woohyun,” he stuttered (his teeth were chattering in fear). And he stumbled out of his chair and down the aisle as fast as he could. And he must have just been fast enough because he caught a glimpse of Woohyun leaving through the emergency exit.

However, Sunggyu was cut off from following him. “Aw! Did we miss the show?” Sungyeol lamented, suddenly showing up right in Sunggyu’s way. Where did he come from?

And Soyeon was there too? “That’s because we had to get the baby ready,” Soyeon explained as she was bouncing a blanket wrapped bundle in her arms. When did they…

“I don’t want it anymore,” Sungyeol whined, stamping his foot. He took the baby from his fiancée and frowned. “Here, Sunggyu-ssi, you can have it,” he so ‘graciously’ offered, all but throwing the bundle in Sunggyu’s arms.

“B-but…” Sunggyu couldn’t even find the words to object.

“Too late,” Sungyeol protested, sticking out his tongue. He grabbed Soyeon’s hand and ran out of the theater. The two of them were giggling like maniacs.

Sunggyu let out a sigh as he looked down at the bundle that he was cradling in his arms. The blankets were covering the baby’s face, and probably suffocating it. Gently, Sunggyu began removing the cloth. “What the Hell?” It was a monkey, a baby monkey. The monkey looked up at Sunggyu with its round, pitch-black eyes. Then all of the sudden, it opened its mouth and let out this unnatural noise. It wasn’t howling nor barking. It actually sounded vaguely like an alarm.

“Hyung…Hyung…GYU-HYUNG!”

Sunggyu snapped open his eyes and shot straight up in his bed. He had just woken up. It was a dream. It was all a dream. But this wasn’t. There was still an incessant blaring of an alarm and a gentle shaking on his shoulder. Sunggyu looked over to see Woohyun, freshly rolled out of bed with one hand rubbing sleep away from his eye and the other holding his demonic alarm clock.

“I can’t find the holder,” Woohyun explained meekly. “Can you show me where you hid it?’

“Sure. I’ll be right there,” Sunggyu answered softly, and he watched his roommate shuffle like a zombie out of his bedroom. After Woohyun was gone, Sunggyu groaned loudly and drug his hands down his face roughly. “…I hate my life.”

❝I’ll only say this once, so listen well. I like you.❞

-Woohyun (during ‘Infinity Girls’)

Their ‘relationship’ was hitting the three month mark. And Sunggyu and Woohyun had fallen into a routine. Sunggyu still cooked breakfast and ‘woke’ Woohyun up. Then they would both go to work. And at night Woohyun still cooked dinner, or at least he cooked on the nights that Sunggyu’s mother didn’t invite herself over (which was happening more and more recently). After dinner they would watch whatever decent was on t.v. and talk (mostly talk and ignore whatever crap was on television). Then they would adjourn to their own bedrooms and repeat the routine the next day.

Also, ever since Woohyun had broken up with her, their level of skinship drastically rose, as if Woohyun didn’t have any other outlet for his overflowing affection. But it mostly happened when others were around to witness their ‘coupleness.’ Also Woohyun eventually figured-out the thumb trick, and it became his new favorite thing to do (probably because he liked fooling others). But Sunggyu didn’t mind. Woohyun had bad aim and missed his thumb most of the time. Finally there were moments when they were alone and when either one of them (or sometimes both) was excessively tired, and they would (for a lack of a better term) cuddle on the couch (it really was whoever was the most tired, laying on the other, and the other allowing it).

But in spite of all of that, Sunggyu didn’t have one single spark of hope in his heart that this would last beyond Sungyeol’s wedding like they had planned. At best, they would be cordial roommates after the ‘break-up,’ and one (Woohyun) of them would move out as soon as he (Woohyun) got into a real relationship and got married. Then Sunggyu would get to live alone like he’d always wanted to. The both of them would get what they initially wanted. It had been a perfectly executed plan, in that respect.

“So,” Woohyun began, being his usual chatty self in the morning. He took a long sip from his coffee before continuing. “We’re back to this?” he asked, stirring his soggy cereal. Sunggyu gave a short nod. He didn’t have the energy to cook a full breakfast this morning like he was in the recent habit of doing. There was no point. Woohyun pouted. “You spoiled me. I don’t think I can eat this anymore,” he complained, pushing the bowl away.

“Then don’t eat it,” Sunggyu retorted, reaching to pick up the bowl and clear it away.

But before the elder could touch it, Woohyun picked up the bowl and hunched over it, protecting it from Sunggyu. “I’ll eat it. I’ll eat it,” he insisted, already stuffing his face with the cereal. Milk was dripping down his chin.

Sunggyu then pulled down his sleeve, reached over the table, and wiped Woohyun’s chin. The younger stopped chewing and looked up at the other. Sunggyu cleared his throat and returned back to his seat. “Learn how to eat properly,” he chided.

“Says the man who can’t eat with his mouth shut,” Woohyun teased and rolled his eyes.

“I can too!” Sunggyu fought back. He took a large spoonful of his cereal and put it in his mouth. Then, staring down Woohyun, he chewed, trying his best to keep his mouth shut…until he couldn’t anymore. “I can’t breathe. My nose is stuffed up,” he excused his bad manners, while also spitting food on the man across from him.

But Woohyun just laughed as he wiped his face. “Take your vitamins, old man. And get dressed,” he ordered kindly as he got up from the table. “Today’s the big day.”

Today was the Sungyeol’s Wedding day.

“Are you ready for today?” Woohyun asked as he was leaning against Sunggyu’s doorframe. He was fussing with his bowtie (a gift from Soyeon so he felt obligated to wear it today). He eventually gave up and let it hang down from his neck. Woohyun looked up, to see Sunggyu casting a confused look at him. “Our final performance?” Woohyun reminded him.

Sunggyu let out a shot laugh as he adjusted his blazer, looking at himself in the mirror. “Maybe we should get started now. You know, set the mood,” he suggested as a joke.

“THAT’S THE STUPIDEST IDEA I EVER HEARD!” Woohyun yelled at the top of his lungs. Sunggyu quickly snapped his head towards the other with eyes like daggers, but they softened as soon as he caught sight of Woohyun’s cheeky smile.

“Well, at least I’m smart enough to tie my own damn tie. Come here, you f***ing idiot,” Sunggyu’s tone was too soft for saying such harsh words. He beckoned the younger to come closer to him, and Woohyun obeyed. Luckily, Sunggyu knew how to tie bowties, so his roommate wouldn’t have to go the wedding sloppily dressed. Once the younger was close enough, Sunggyu grabbed both ends of the tie and pulled him a bit closer so that he could put it on properly. Woohyun stumbled a bit forward and laughed awkwardly.

“Bowties are dumb,” he said masking his laughter. “Just like you.” Sunggyu stopped fiddling with the tie and pouted. “And ugly too,” Woohyun added with a widening grin.

“Are you saying I’m ugly?” Sunggyu asked through gritted teeth.

“No,” Woohyun refuted. Sunggyu’s face began to lighten. “You’re hideous.”

Sunggyu’s expression immediately darkened as he bared his teeth. He grabbed the two ends of the tie and pulled, tightening the knot at the base of Woohyun’s neck. Woohyun began choking. “Not really smart to offend the person holding a tie around your neck,” Sunggyu growled.

“Hyung, I was only joking,” Woohyun wheezed, hitting Sunggyu’s forearm. “You’re beautiful. Gorgeous!”

Sunggyu pulled even tighter. “I’m a man!” he yelled.

“H-handsome. You’re handsome,” Woohyun choked out. Sunggyu let go, smiling. He loosened the knot, rubbing the spot gently before redoing the tie. “Whew! For a second there, I thought I was a goner,” Woohyun commented in a slightly raspy voice (and Sunggyu felt slightly guilty for it).

“Just playing the part,” Sunggyu mumbled, focusing on the tie. Now pull, gently, gently. “There. Done,” he announced happily. He then looked up to see Woohyun looking at him expectantly. Sunggyu scoffed as he fixed the younger’s collar. “Yea, you’re handsome too.”

Once Sunggyu let go of him, Woohyun took a step back. And Sunggyu froze, with his hands still in the air. Then Woohyun began chuckling, and he ran away as he yelled, “I take it back. Hyung’s ugly. Merong!”

The car ride over to the wedding hall, the two of them actually bickered about what to listen to on the radio. And somehow it ended with Sunggyu threatening to stuff his fist in Woohyun’s mouth if he didn’t stop singing on the top of his lungs. That fight left Sunggyu annoyed, tense, and actually wanting to get rid of Woohyun. So when they arrived at the hall, they looked exactly like they should be, an unhappy couple on the verge of fighting. They didn’t even walk together towards the seats. Woohyun had left Sunggyu at the coat check (it was to wish Sungyeol luck before the ceremony, but Sunggyu didn’t know that). The elder had to find their seats on his own, and he felt awkward doing so. No one there knew who he was, and he could feel their judging stares on his back as he sat down. Nam Woohyun, you jerk, he cursed in his head.

“Hey, is this seat taken, Handsome?” Speak of the Devil. Woohyun slid into the seat next to him.

Sunggyu folded his arms and looked away. “Yes, it is. Leave,” he grumbled.

“So you saved this seat not for your loving boyfriend?” Woohyun asked bitingly. He wasn’t really in the mood for Sunggyu’s cold shoulder. He had just walked in on Sungyeol and Soyeon in an intimate moment (they were exchanging gifts and whispering sweet nothings to each other), and then Sungyeol told him what he’d already assumed: Daeyeol was his Best Man. It all left him feeling unwanted and yearning to be wanted. And so Sunggyu’s little tantrum wasn’t helping.

“I wasn’t aware that I had one,” Sunggyu muttered under his breath. He smiled and shook his head. “Where were you?”

“Wishing the happy couple good luck,” Woohyun answered grumpily as he flipped through the program. He almost tore out a page because he was turning them so hard.

Sunggyu shifted in his seat, turning towards him. “Are you okay? Did you fight with Sungyeol?”

Woohyun looked up, noting the look of concern on Sunggyu’s face. “No, everything’s fine,” Woohyun replied in a flat voice.

Sunggyu watched him curiously before sitting straight forward again. “Alright, if you say so,” he mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest again. He kept looking forward, wondering what he could say about what he hated about weddings for their argument later (he assumed that Woohyun would be pro-wedding). Too much money. I’m allergic to the pollen in the flowers. We’d have to host it and mingle. The wedding march began to play, singling the arrival of the bridal party. And that song is stupid.

But while he was ripping apart that song in his head, he felt a hand pawing at the crook of his elbow. He looked down to see Woohyun trying to undo his crossed arms, and when Sunggyu unfolded them, Woohyun immediately reached for his head and scooted closer to the elder until his side was flush to the other’s.

And Sunggyu didn’t have to lean too far to whisper into Woohyun’s ear, “What are you doing? We’re supposed to be fighting.”

Woohyun turned his gaze from the aisle, from the bridal party parading. His eyes were tearing up already. He nudged the other, still grinning despite his sad eyes. “Look at Yeol, Gyu,” he said. “I’ve never seen him so happy.” He then looked back to Sungyeol walking down the aisle, and the man was positively beaming. There was a bounce in his step. And he was acting as if his long strides wouldn’t get him down the aisle fast enough.

Sunggyu wrapped his other hand around Woohyun’s and brought it into his lap. “How much longer do you think until the waterworks start?” he asked in a hushed voice.

Woohyun chuckled softly. “Probably when he sees Soyeon in three, two, one,” he counted down. Then the music changed, ushering in the blushing bride and also a complete change in Sungyeol’s demeanor. He went from completely happy to stone-faced, which eventually started to quiver and crack with each step that Soyeon took. And once she reached him, Sungyeol was a bawling wreck. But his brother was prepared for this. Daeyeol pulled tissue after tissue to Sungyeol as he was trying to calm himself down.

Sunggyu began laughing at the scene. “I can’t believe it. You’d think he’d last until after the ceremony. Don’t you—Hyun, are you?” the laughter was caught in his throat. Tears were streaming down Woohyun’s cheek, and the man was sniffing constantly trying to hold them back.

“It’s Yeol’s fault,” Woohyun grumbled, trying in vain to dab away his tears with the sleeve of his coat. “When he starts, I…” Sunggyu handed him some tissues, making him forget what he was saying. “Thank you,” he whispered quietly, but then he blew his noise loudly. Several people turned towards them and glared.

But this time Sunggyu didn’t mind the stares. He stuffed Woohyun’s used tissues into his pockets, and then he wrapped his hands around Woohyun’s again, still in his lap.

The ceremony was over, and it was time for the reception to start, which meant the celebration was almost over, which meant that there were less opportunities for them to fight and cause a scene. But Woohyun was still holding his hand. So Sunggyu wasn’t about to suggest that they get into fisticuffs so soon. He was going to enjoy it for as long as he could.

“Woohyun-ah! Sunggyu-hyung!” But there’s something that might ruin it for him. It was the voice that was still haunting him from his dreams. Sunggyu turned to see his ex walking up to him excitedly with a dark haired man following him only a few paces behind. “There’s someone I’d like you to meet,” Dongwoo announced, pulling the man behind him forward and linking their arms together. And now that Dongwoo’s date was closer, Sunggyu felt a slight twinge (and his face might have twitched). The man was very handsome, almost like model or even a sculpture. Dongwoo had obviously moved onto bigger and better things, while Sunggyu was stuck in this charade. Karma. “This…is Kim Myungsoo,” Dongwoo introduced, and the man smiled with his lips tightly sealed, showing off his dimples.

Woohyun frowned after seeing that twitch across Sunggyu’s face, which only deepened as he pondered over why that name and face were so familiar to him. Woohyun shook his head. Thinking was never good for him anyways. He put out his hand. “Nice to meet you Myungsoo-ssi,” he said as he shook Myungsoo’s hand.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Woohyun-ssi,” Myungsoo replied back happily. Woohyun then caught Sunggyu staring blankly at Myungsoo. Woohyun elbowed Sunggyu to make him snap out of it.

“Uh, yes, nice to meet you,” Sunggyu said with a forced smile, also putting forward his hand.

Myungsoo looked down at Sunggyu’s hand and scoffed, showing off a crooked smirk. He then lifted his gaze and narrowed his eyes on the elder. It was the glare of a killer. In a split second, Myungsoo smiled his tight-lipped smile and wrapped his arm around Dongwoo’s waist, giving him a squeeze. “I’ll go get us something to drink,” he announced. “Would you like anything, Woohyun-ssi?” he offered. Woohyun shook his head. “Okay then. I’ll see you later.” And Myungsoo left after giving Sunggyu a lingering death stare that shivered him to the bone.

Sunggyu’s slight shiver did not escape Dongwoo’s notice. “I might have told him that we used to date,” Dongwoo confessed to Sunggyu. And Sunggyu sighed, guessing that his ex shared much more than just that they used to date (especially based on Myungsoo’s expression). “He can get a little possessive.”

But Sunggyu was well aware that he deserved such treatment. “Well, it’s nice to see that he cares about you,” he commented.

“We should all get together soon,” Dongwoo suggested, gesturing to the three of them. “I, uh, will tell Myungsoo to behave. You’ll get along. I’m 100% sure.” But even with Dongwoo’s 100% assurance, Sunggyu had some doubts that he and Myungsoo would get along soon.

Yet he owed it to Dongwoo to give it a try. “Yea, we should,” Sunggyu agreed.

“I should go catch up with him,” Dongwoo said with a laugh, pointing behind him. “He gets lost easily.”

“It reminds me of someone,” Sunggyu teased, giving Dongwoo a slight push.

“Kyakyakya. Right!” Dongwoo burst. He then chased after his date. “Bye hyung! Bye Woohyun!”

“Bye Dongwoo-ah!” Sunggyu waved goodbye. After seeing his ex find Myungsoo (and they both looked relieved to have seen each other again), Sunggyu sighed happily. It was about time Dongwoo dated a good person, and Myungsoo seemed to be one (even if Myungsoo hated his guts). He then spun on his heels. “What’s your problem?” he asked after catching sight of a grumpy Woohyun.

They were cordial. A little too cordial for ex-lovers. “Nothing,” Woohyun’s tone made it sound like everything was wrong. “Let’s go eat.”

After receiving their food, Sunggyu and Woohyun sat down at a table with Dongwoo and Myungsoo (much to Dongwoo’s insistence). But luckily for them, Dongwoo was a fan of mingling, and so ten minutes after the four of them sat down to dinner (most of which Myungsoo was still shooting glares at Sunggyu), Dongwoo jumped up from the table, noticing about 20 people that he had yet to introduce Myungsoo too. It was cute. Dongwoo had never been so excited about a relationship before, and Myungsoo seemed to enjoy being showed off by the other.

While tracking Dongwoo and Myungsoo, Sunggyu also caught sight of Sungyeol and Soyeon. Those two weren’t just happy; they’re whole essence glowed brightly, infecting everybody around them with smiles. Well, maybe not everybody. Sunggyu turned to the man next to him who was still grouchy and pushing around the food on his plate. The two of them seemed to be the most unhappy couple in the room, which only meant one thing: it was time. “So?” Sunggyu began.

“So what?” Woohyun grumbled back, not even looking up from his plate.

“Now’s the perfect time to make a scene,” Sunggyu said.

That finally got Woohyun’s attention. He perked up and shook his head. “No. Not now,” he argued.

Sunggyu looked about them. There was no one around, no one to witness it. Woohyun was always one-step ahead. “Then when?” Sunggyu asked. But then he thought of the perfect moment, “Oh when they cut the cake and they do that stupid thing where they smash it in each other’s faces? And then you can try to do it to me, and I’ll get mad. Maybe I’ll even punch you.” He worked himself up into an excited frenzy, even punching Woohyun softly on the shoulder.

“No, hyung,” Woohyun shot him down gain, and Sunggyu stopped punching, dropping his fist into his lap. “Not today.”

“Why not?”

“Hyung, look at how happy they are,” Woohyun responded while pointing at Sungyeol and Soyeon who were positively beaming even though they weren’t doing anything more than just sitting next to each other. “Let’s not ruin it for them.”

Sunggyu snorted. Woohyun was being the mature one for once, while he himself was having a good time on his own punching Woohyun. “Okay,” he agreed, petting Woohyun on the back of the head as some form of praise. “That’s a good plan.” But Woohyun must have felt like he was being belittled. He stared at Sunggyu blankly and shrunk from the elder’s hand. And Sunggyu just let him be, returning to his own food.

“Do you think that we’ll ever be that happy?” Woohyun suddenly blurted out. Sunggyu started choking as his thoughts raced. We’ll be happy…together? “Oh! Gyu-hyung, are you okay? Here. Drink this.” Woohyun brought a glass of water to Sunggyu’s lips, coercing him to drink.

After a couple of sips, Sunggyu pushed the glass away with the back of his hand. “I’m fine. I’m fine,” he sputtered, still coughing. “What did you ask?”

Woohyun put down the cup and his eyes darted back to the happy couple. “Do you think we’d ever find love? Like those two? And be happy?” he mused.

Sunggyu sighed, “I thought so.” Of course he didn’t mean ‘together’ but separate. Sunggyu took a large spoonful of rice and stuffed it into his mouth. He had meant to stop his words with a full mouth, but in his agitated state, the words spilled out regardless, “What did Miss Gong say? I’myour soul mate,” Sunggyu declared, pointing at himself with his spoon. Food was spilling out of his mouth as he angrily spoke, “You shouldn’t be looking for anyone else when you have me. Aren’t I enough? Don’t you love me too?”

Woohyun forced Sunggyu to put down the spoon. He leaned over and whispered, “Hyung, I told you that we weren’t going to stage a fight today. You can stop.” He pulled back and wrested the spoon away from Sunggyu’s tight grip. “And take it easy. I don’t want you to start choking again,” he chided. But Sunggyu just reached over, grabbing Woohyun’s spoon and began eating with that. He looked at Woohyun defiantly as he took another large bite (the younger was rubbing off on him). Woohyun just chuckled and dug a finger into Sunggyu’s cheek. “Aigoo! You look like a little pumpkin with those cheeks and your orange hair,” he cooed.

Suggyu lifted his head. “What did you just call me?” he asked quietly. He didn’t think that he heard correctly the first time.

“A pump-kin,” Woohyun pronounced each syllable carefully and grinned with feigned innocence, even puffing out his cheeks a little. He’s begging to get hit.

So Sunggyu rapped him with his spoon.“Why are you egging me on? I thought we said that we weren’t going to fight today,” he reminded the other with a smile.

“We’re not. This is loving banter, pumpkin,” Woohyun argued, still playing innocent, but Sunggyu knew that he was picking on his nerves purposefully. Unfortunately for Woohyun, it was really working.

Sunggyu looked back down at his plate, trying to hide his smile. “Stop calling me that,” he protested with a fake whine.

Woohyun gasped in shock, “Hul! You like it!”

“Do not!”

Eventually their ‘banter’ was broken up by Dongwoo and Myungsoo’s return to the table. Shortly after that, Sungyeol and Soyeon said their final farewells before departing for their honeymoon. And aside from playfully arguing with each other, Sunggyu and Woohyun showed no semblance of discord. There was no show. There was no break-up, and they had give no reason to others why they ever should. They seemed like a perfectly happy couple. However, now on their way home, they were a perfectly quiet couple. Sunggyu was too afraid to do anything, even breathe, so he wouldn’t set off the other. His plan for now was to go home, excuse himself, and hide in the safety of his bedroom before Woohyun would have the chance to suggest how they would proceed from here. They won’t end this, at least not tonight. Maybe tomorrow they would. But Sunggyu just wanted one more night, and maybe if he was good, he could even squeeze out one more day. He wanted it extend it for as long as he could.

But as usual, Woohun foiled his plans. “Let’s drink,” the younger suggested in a chipper tone.

“Why? I’m tired,” Sunggyu bluntly replied, hoping that Woohyun would drop the issue. They just reached their apartment’s garage, and he was so close to his goal.

Woohyun leaned back his head on the headrest and let out a long breath. “But the mood’s right,” he whined pouting slightly. Then he rolled his head over to look at his hyung. “And I just stole these 2 bottles of wine from the wedding,” he said, unfolding his jacket to reveal two green bottles of wine.

Sunggyu snorted, trying to hold back his laughter. Woohyun was really unbelievable at times. Sunggyu reached for a bottle and inspected it. He whistled lowly, “These are actually good.” He caught Woohyun grinning and nodding proudly out of the corner of his eye. Sunggyu bit his lip as he examined the bottle again. It was really good wine. He lifted his gaze, meeting with Woohyun’s, who looked like he was trying to telepathically coerce Sunggyu into drinking with him. Sunggyu sighed and gave in, “I guess one glass wouldn’t hurt.”

But one glass eventually turned into two then three, especially when Woohyun was pouring and practically filling the glasses to the brim. And with each successive glass, Sunggyu was slowly losing his will to leave their living room. He was laying out on the couch, contemplating just sleeping there, his eyes were heavy from being tipsy. He was watching Woohyun , sitting on the ground in front of him, with pink cheeks, drinking the wine as if he taking shots. Sunggyu had to force himself to keep up with Woohyun so that the younger didn’t drink both of the bottles on his own. Sunggyu lazily nudged Woohyun’s shoulder with his glass, silently asking for a refill. Woohyun turned around and complied. After pouring, Woohyun put the now empty bottle on the ground and rested his chin on the edge of the couch. “Hyung, is there something wrong with me?” he slurred his words together.

“Lots,” Sunggyu laughed at his own joke and then drained the glass. After the third glass, the wine had lost its taste. It felt as if he was drinking water.

“No, I’m being serious,” Woohyun protested and lifted his head, lining it up with Sunggyu’s (which was resting on the armrest). “Sungyeol just got married today. Lee Sungyeol!” Woohyun repeated. “I had to stop him the other day from fighting with a 10 year old! I’m surprised that the ring bearer wasn’t a remote-controlled helicopter.”

“Or a monkey,” Sunggyu pointed out.

“OR A MONKEY!” Woohyun shouted back and began laughing at the mental image of a monkey in a tuxedo walking down the aisle.

“Maybe,” Sunggyu began. Woohyun stopped laughing and noticed the serious expression on his hyung’s face. “There’s something wrong with Soyeon too.”

“Hyung,” Woohyun called out to the other, placing his own head on the armrest. It was starting to feel too heavy; it must be all of his weighty thoughts dragging him down (or the alcohol). Sunggyu just blinked at him, waiting for Woohyun to continue. “Do you think that I’ll find a Soyeon? Someone who loves all the wrong parts of me?” Woohyun tilted his head after finishing; something about that didn’t seem quite right.

“I think you already have.”

“Hm?”

Sunggyu lifted his head from the armrest and stood straight up. Woohyun raised his head too, following the other’s lead curiously. He stood up on his knees, gripping the edges of the couch for support. He was feeling a bit woozy. “Woohyunnie,” Sunggyu softly spoke, cupping Woohyun’s cheeks in his hands. “I like your stupid brain,” the elder spoke and delivered a kiss between Woohyun’s raised eyebrows. Well, that made Woohyun’s head feel more clear. But it didn’t stop there. “I like how you’re stubborn. You never wake up on time,” Sunggyu said, kissing both of Woohyun’s cheeks right next to his thumb. He then rubbed the spots he kissed tenderly. “You’re embarrassing. And say gross things. I like it all, even this stupid nose.” His lips lightly brushed against the tip of Woohyun’s nose. “And I like you.” Sunggyu kissed the younger’s lips, feeling Woohyun immediately stiffen under his touch. Sunggyu pulled away slowly, seeing that Woohyun was frozen solid. His gaze was downcast. Sunggyu swallowed, lowering his hands away from his face. Sunggyu searched Woohyun for any signs of movement, expressions of disgust or otherwise. “Is that okay?” he stammered, immediately fearing a response.

At the question, Woohyun’s head perked up, but his face was still expressionless. He stared at Sunggyu silently. Sunggyu swallowed again, trying to get rid of the dryness in his throat. He couldn’t meet Woohyun’s gaze anymore, especially with him being so uncharacteristically unresponsive. It scared him. But then Sunggyu felt the couch shift underneath him. Woohyun finally made moved. He kissed Sunggyu back.

“Ung,” Woohyun moaned. There was a dull pain shooting at the back of his skull and a terrible achiness everywhere. He smacked his lips and his tongue felt like it was coated in cotton balls. It was a hangover, and a nasty one at that. Woohyun couldn’t remember much about the night before. He could only recall the vague feeling of bitterness (and maybe jealousy) after Sungyeol’s wedding that drove him to drinking last night. But now that feeling had dissipated, his chest was lighter. However now he felt too warm and…clammy. There was also a strange feeling at the tip of his spine that hurt every time he shifted. And he constrained, not by his usual cocoon of blanks but by something that felt a lot like…Woohyun snapped his eyes wide open at the realization.

This wasn’t his room. And this wasn’t his bed. But those were arms wrapped around him tightly and that was a bare chest that Woohyun’s cheek was smushed against. What the Hell? Woohyun pulled away as much as he could in the other’s embrace without disturbing him. He was mumbling prayers under his breath as he looked up. None of them were answered. Above him was Kim Sunggyu’s peacefully sleeping face. Woohyun automatically looked back down, his heart-racing. “Huh?” Woohyun gasped. His heart stopped. He could see them clearly now in the light of the rising sun. Hickies, black-blue bruises on the elder’s neck and chest. Woohyun could feel heat rising to his cheeks, casting his gaze even further down. “!” There was also a hickey blooming along Sunggyu’s hip-bone. Not even the fact that they were both still in their boxers gave Woohyun much consolation. What happened last night, he thought and groaned, burying his face to hide his quickly reddening cheeks. He had never been so embarrassed in his life. He thought back to the hickies he’d just seen. Crap. Did I? No…No wait…it could’ve been Dongwoo. Woohyun called how polite they were to each other the day before. No, not polite, but friendly. Woohyun had caught Sunggyu several times staring at Dongwoo and his new boyfriend, appearing sad and regretful. Woohyun grounded his teeth. Did they? Is it possible? Yea, Dongwoo was here the other day. Hyung told me he did. So maybe, it’s completely possible that the two of them…NO! Gyu’s with me! He wouldn’t dare! He’s mine! But…but Dongwoo knows we’re faking it, so they still could. Ugh! Why do I care? Frustrated, he buried his face even deeper, wishing desperately that he could remember. This…this isn’t helping. He let out a small huff, finally realizing that he wasn’t burying his face into a pillow but deeper and deeper into the softness of Sunggyu’s chest. This isn’t helping at all.

Suddenly, Woohyun felt the chest vibrating beneath him. Sunggyu was chuckling. “What are you doing?” he asked in a voice thick with sleep.

Woohyun slowly raised his head to meet Sunggyu’s gaze. The look in the elder’s eyes made his throat tighten. Woohyun didn’t know what to do or say. He just let out a “Hm?” through pursed lips.

Sunggyu laughed again, grabbing the back of Woohyun’s head, making the younger to bow his head back down into his chest. Suggyu tightened his hold on Woohyun and kissed him on the crown of his head. “Cute,” Sunggyu said accompanied by a long yawn. “Let’s sleep some more.” Woohyun then felt the other rest his cheek on top of the messy hair. Sunggyu took in a deep breath as he nestled into Woohyun’s dark locks. “You stink,” he teased.

An escape. Woohyun wiggled out of Sunggyu’s hold. “Hahaha,” he forced out a laugh. He then pretended to sniff him and faked a cough. “Whew! You’re right, hyung,” he practically shouted as he kept squirming until Sunggyu let go. Woohyun then rolled out of bed, landing on his already sore behind, but he ignored the shooting pain and stood up. “I should go take a shower right now before…hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha” he kept crazily laughing until he backed out of the room, almost tripping on someone’s pants (there were clothes strewn all over). After he turned the corner, Woohyun sprinted into the bathroom and locked the door. He leaned against the cool tile wall to collect his thoughts and to catch his breath. What happened? Think, Woohyun. Think! He opened his eyes and caught sight of himself in the mirror. His hair was a mess. It was arrayed into haphazard spikes as if someone had pulled it in all directions. He’ll really need a shower to tame it. Then he looked down. Earlier he had only caught sight of the band of his boxers, but he was also still wearing his pants. That would mean that the pants in the room were…Woohyun groaned and leaned his forehead against the mirror. At least he didn’t see any hickies on his own body (and Woohyun didn’t know how to take that exactly). He sighed and the tap in the shower. Hopefully the hot water will wake him up and maybe awaken some memories as well.

But it didn’t.

He walked into the kitchen, almost in the same condition as before he had showered, except that he was now wet and smelled better. His body was still sore, everywhere. And his headache only became more painful, the more he tried to remember. So he gave up trying. Maybe hyung will just tell me, and so when he walked out of his bedroom, Woohyun was wholly prepared to ask Sunggyu but the words were caught in his throat. Sunggyu was making breakfast.

It wasn’t like Sunggyu had never made him breakfast before. But back then, it was all a part of their rouse, and more than anything else, it was just a division of household chores. But this was different. Sunggyu wasn’t complaining or grumbling as usual, aggressively rubbing the sleep away from his eyes as he stomped and pouted over the range. In fact, now he was humming a slow but happy tune, and it almost seemed like he was…glowing. Even though his back was turned to Woohyun, Woohyun could tell that Sunggyu was smiling just from his posture. Something about this whole entire scene just seemed so domestic. And it scared Woohyun.

“Oh,” Sunggyu exclaimed in surprise, slightly jumping back, after finally noticing Woohyun who had sat down at the table . “I didn’t hear you come in.” And that’s when Woohyun finally saw it, Sunggyu’s smile. It wasn’t very big or overwhelming, but there was a feeling of satisfaction behind it, finally being content with one’s lot in life. What happened last night? While Woohyun was still pondering that question over, Sunggyu walked over with a pot of stew, carefully made for both of their hang-overs, and placed it in the middle of the table, giving Woohyun a peck on the cheek before sitting down himself. “You’re really quiet this morning. It’s nice,” the elder said as he arranged the bowls in front of him. He then took a spoonful of the soup and loudly slurped it down. And that was the only noise to pass through the room. Woohyun still sat there, unmoving, only watching the other drink from the pot. He was still waiting for any sure sign, for any memory to return about the night before because this was really freaking him out.

Sunggyu noticed the younger watching him eat and flashed him a tight-lipped smile. But slowly the corners of his mouth turned downwards, and his lips parted. His eyes widened to twice their size before he shut them tightly. Dropping his spoon, he grabbed at the sides of his head and bowed down towards the table. “F**k…you don’t remember anything from last night, do you?”

“No,” Woohyun finally admitted. His eyes were darting around everywhere as he asked, “Hyung, did we…”

“No!” Sunggyu quickly denied, waving his hands in the air. “Y-you just fell asleep.”

“But my…” Woohyun looked down at his rear end and grimaced in pain.

Sunggyu sighed. It wasn’t the time to tell Woohyun that the wrong part of his bum was hurting for that to be true. “You fell off the bed last night,” Sunggyu explained. “You roll around a lot in your sleep unless…ahem.” He coughed to cover up his last statement.

Woohyun leaned forward and asked again, “So nothing happened last night? Nothing at all?”

Sunggyu searched the other’s face. Woohyun was scared. He really didn’t remember a single thing. Not a single damn thing. And Sunggyu was feeling too bitter to remind him. “Nope. Nothing,” he lied, returning to his breakfast. He heard Woohyun let out a sigh of relief, which made his heart twinge. Sunggyu got up from the table. “Look, I forgot that I have to go into work today. My students just turned their papers in, and grades are due soon.”

“Oh, okay,” Woohyun mumbled watching Sunggyu leave. “I’ll see you later?” Sunggyu nodded, not even casting a glance back. “Thanks for breakfast, hyung!”

“Yea. Whatever,” Sunggyu grumbled and slammed his door. Once the door was shut, Sunggyu leaned his back against it and slid down onto the floor. He drew his knees into his chest and bit his lip, trying hard to fight back the screams and curses boiling up inside of him. His cheeks were red hot, and he could even feel the tips of his ears burning. “So f***ing embarrassing,” he mumbled into his knees. But with that utter embarrassment crept in disappointment because last night had been one of the best nights of his life (which made this morning the worst).

Sunggyu thought that he might have been presumptuous, leading Woohyun into his bedroom last night, but the way the younger was kissing him and allowed Sunggyu to take off his shirt to explore his skin with hands and tongue, made Sunggyu believe that things were heading in that direction. And the way Woohyun subsequently pinned Sunggyu to his own bed and began to hastily the elder’s shirt, meant that Woohyun might’ve seen things heading in that direction too.

“It’s okay,” Woohyun’s voice was muffled against Sunggyu’s prickling skin as the younger planted open-mouthed kisses down the other’s neck. He then finally did away with the last pesky button, and his hands began peeling the shirt off of the damp skin.

“What’s okay?” Sunggyu asked, shifting in his spot to allow Woohyun to fully remove his shirt. He wiggled his arms out of each sleeve to rid the frustrating button-down from his body. And now, both men were topless, admiring each other’s bodies as if they had never seen it before. Hands slowly traced the lines of each visible muscle and bone. Lips were inching closer again.

Woohyun traced Sunggyu’s sharp jawline with his lips before planting a kiss on his chin (much to the other’s dismay). “It’s okay, if you like me,” he replied in all seriousness, his mouth gradually moving upwards with each word until it reached Sunggyu’s.

But then elder pulled back, allowing his head to crash harshly against his pillow as he laughed loudly. Woohyun pulled himself upright, furrowing his brows in confusion as he looked at the maniacally laughing man below him. He was about to get off the other and go back into his own room, but Sunggyu grabbed his hands and pulled Woohyun down into his chest, wrapping his arms around the other tightly. “I kind of figured that out already, dummy,” he teased and planted a kiss onto Woohyun’s cheek.

And Woohyun wasn’t even upset; after all, his feelings for the other had already been expressed with his actions. His words were a little too late. But sometimes it’s still nice to hear those things, and judging by Sunggyu’s reaction, he had liked it. As obvious as it was, it was still good to hear. And so Woohyun had wanted to do it again, tell the elder things that he wanted to hear. “Hyung, let’s end this,” he said cheerfully, resting his chin in the middle of the other’s chest and looking up at him with smiling eyes.

Sunggyu’s arms slackened around the other. His face went stiff. “W-what?”

Woohyun smiled mischievously and wiggled himself a bit upwards. “Let’s stop this fake relationship and become real lovers.”

And Sunggyu didn’t need to be asked twice. He responded like Woohyun had earlier, not with words but by pulling the other up into a long and languid kiss, acting as if they had all the time in the world and not like it was a few hours until dawn. For Sunggyu, he thought they did. All of the rest of their time, devoted to one another. This was it.

And it was exciting for awhile, until Woohyun, like a little puppy, was worn out by all of the excitement and passed out on Sunggyu’s stomach, before they could actually do anything that lovers did (he had frustratingly fallen asleep after ‘appreciating’ Sunggyu’s hipbones. It was looking like Woohyun would travel lower, but then the younger started rubbing his cheeks against Sunggyu’s stomach, singing ‘soft belly, warm belly, little happy trail.’ He was asleep a few seconds later). Sunggyu sighed as he laid the worn-out man next to him. He wasn’t upset, disappointed maybe, but not upset. Let’s stop this fake relationship and become real…lovers. Those words had opened up the floodgates, allowing what Sunggyu had dammed up for so long to spill over and pour through his entire body. He could finally allow himself to feel it. He wasn’t afraid anymore. He was in love, and it was hard to be upset with that. So he fell asleep to the sight of his new lover’s face…until Woohyun woke him up by rolling off of the bed, whining loudly at the painful landing. And that’s when Sunggyu took Woohyun into his arms. At first it was to comfort the other, who was still whimpering about his sore bottom (after all Sunggyu didn’t see himself as the cuddling type, and swore to himself that he would stop as soon as Woohyun was asleep). But then he noticed how still Woohyun was in his arms, how relaxed the younger seemed. Sunggyu concluded that this was much better than falling asleep at the mere sight of a new lover, by far.

But then he woke up. And Woohyun had forgotten everything.

Sunggyu dragged a hand roughly down his face as he groaned. He had acted so damn lovingly this morning, and it obviously scared the hell out of Woohyun. He couldn’t even remember how he felt? Was it all fake? Just lip-service? Anger began to boil in the pits of his stomach, hateful steam rising and filling his entire body. That bastard had done something almost irreversible, making Sunggyu fall completely for him, making him vulnerable. But Sunggyu wasn’t angry at Woohyun. He was angry with himself. He promised that he wasn’t going to get his heart broken again for being cowardly, but now his heart was on the verge of shattering because he had been emboldened by alcohol last night.

Whether it broke or not was up to Woohyun, and Sunggyu didn’t like his odds.

There was a soft knock on the door, pulling Sunggyu out of his spiraling thoughts. “Hyung,” Woohyun called out through the door. “I told my mom that I would make kimchi with her today.”

Sunggyu took in a deep breath. “Oh okay,” he said in the strongest voice he could muster. “Goodbye.”

“Bye hyung.”

❝I once broke up with my girlfriend in high school because of a small misunderstanding. What’s so scary about love is that, even if you truly love someone… after you say the word “Goodbye”, it can all be over.❞

-Sunggyu (06.2013 The Star Interview)

Beep beep. Woohyun unlocked the car and threw an overnight bag into it before climbing into the driver’s seat. He had planned this trip back home weeks ago, when he thought that he and Sunggyu would’ve ended their ‘relationship’ and that they would need the space. But now Woohyun thought that they really needed space. Sunggyu’s mood soured pretty quickly, which only made Woohyun’s stomach churn. What had he done wrong?

Woohyun the engine and pulled out of the driveway, putting even more space between them. A weekend at his parent’s house was what he needed, and he needed to do some mindless task like making kimchi to calm him down. But with every mile he drove, Woohyun became more upset. And he really didn’t know why, but it was becoming as annoying a the dull pain in his head. He some music to distract himself. But then he quickly turned it back off. Sunggyu was a music professor.

And that was it, the root of all of his problems: Kim Sunggyu. First, because of Sunggyu he was robbed of a fiancée. Then he was forced to share his apartment with him, and if that wasn’t enough, Woohyun also had to share a life with him as his fake boy friend. Sunggyu had embarrassed him and belittled him the whole time, always delivering insults and attacking him with vacuum cleaners. Then at the wedding, Sunggyu had ignored him whenever Dongwoo was around. And now the man had become bipolar. Maybe it was time that they should end this.

But…

It was okay that Woohyun didn’t end up with Choa. They made better friends than lovers. And Woohyun didn’t really want to be alone in his apartment. He didn’t mind Sunggyu…especially Sunggyu. Because even though the elder had insulted him (it really was only a part of their banter anyways) and embarrassed (in retaliation for all of the embarrassing things Woohyun himself had put him through), Woohyun enjoyed spending time with Sunggyu, a lot. Except for at the wedding. Woohyun hated Sunggyu being so nice to Dongwoo not because he was ignored but because it made him jealous. The truth of the matter was: Woohyun didn’t want to end it. He might be the most selfish person on the planet, but he wanted to keep Sunggyu by his side for as long as he could, especially in this vague zone of ‘are they’ or ‘aren’t they.’ It was comfortable. And even if it was to Sunggyu’s detriment, Woohyun didn’t want it to end. But apparently, he already had.

Let’s end this and become real lovers.

Woohyun almost slammed his breaks in the middle of the highway. He remembered. He suddenly remembered everything. The messy kisses, the teasing touches, the soft whispers, his own eagerness, his desire to mark Sunggyu as his, and then the look in Sunggyu’s eyes when he had said those words.

Woohyun pulled over onto the side of the highway and rested his forehead on the steering wheel. He had really screwed up this time.

Sunggyu clutched onto his very own overnight bag. After Woohyun had left, Sunggyu had thrown several things into this duffle bag and went to his old tried and true sanctuary, his childhood home. Looks like both of the men were running away to their mommies and away from each other.

A large part of Sunggyu expected the reaction from this morning. Woohyun scared easily, especially when it came to Sunggyu, and he ran easily too. When he had told Woohyun that he was gay, well, they both of them ran from that conversation and opted to watch an action movie instead. Then when they kissed at the grocery store, Woohyun had basically ran into the arms of his girlfriend and proposed to her. So after last night, Sunggyu wouldn’t be surprised if Woohyun came back having eloped with some girl he’d just met.

All he knew about Woohyun was that he was ‘just a bit curious.’ But was that curiosity sated with Dongwoo, or last night? The only thing that Sunggyu knew for sure was that he was ‘just a bit’ screwed.

“Mom! I’m home!” Sunggyu yelled, walking through the doors and dumping his bag on the ground.

“Oh, honey, I didn’t know you were coming!” He heard his mother yell back from the kitchen. Mrs. Kim walked into the hallway to greet her son and was wiping her hands with a towel (she was in the midst of cooking something delicious and Sunggyu could smell it). She looked around in surprise. “Hm? Where’s Woohyun?” Her eyes dropped down and locked onto the duffle bag. She cocked her head, her maternal senses kicking in.

Sunggyu brushed past his mom and into the kitchen, following the delicious smell. “He went home to make kimchi,” he explained. And then he found it, his favorite cookies fresh from the oven. His mother was probably only moments away from delivering them to him.

Mrs. Kim walked up to his side and nodded. “I recall his mom saying something about that. But I guess we assumed that you would go with him,” she stated, curiously watching her son eat.

“Why?”

“Well,” she began, resting her elbows on the counter. “Woohyunnie doesn't go home often, and you haven’t met his father yet.”

And I probably never will. Sunggyu put down the half-eaten cookie and wrapped his arms around his mother’s waist. “Mom…can I stay here?” he asked.

“Why?” her voice sounded hesitant.

Sunggyu pulled away and shrugged.“Nothing. I just miss you,” he said cutely.

His mother frowned and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “No.”

“Mommy,” Sunggyu whined, pouting and reaching for his mother’s arm.

But then she grabbed him and pulled him back to the front door. “Sunggyu! Don’t do this! Don’t act like him!” she chided him, leaving Sunggyu to wonder whom she had meant. “If you’re having troubles with someone, you can’t just walk away and hide somewhere. You can’t just leave!” she shouted and let go of her son’s wrist as soon as they reached the door. She picked up the bag and tossed it into Sunggyu’s arms. Then it became obvious whom she had meant. My father. The same one who stood where he was years ago with bags in his hands, and left. Sunggyu looked back up to his mother who appeared to be calming down but her eyes were glistening with tears from the memory of the old pain. “At least try to talk to him first, or else Woohyun will always be left hanging wondering what he did wrong. Asking himself what he could’ve done differently to make you stay. He won’t be able to get over it. He won’t get closure.”

“Mom,” Sunggyu spoke in a hushed voice. He had no idea that she felt this way. She was still holding onto his father because he had never let her go. They never resolved their feelings. “Okay. I’ll go back,” Sunggyu yielded.

Mrs. Kim took her son’s cheeks in her hands and squished them. “That’s my boy,” she praised. She then let go and became serious again. “Sunggyu, whatever it is, I’m sure that you two can pull through it. You guys have something special.”

Sunggyu sighed. I’m not sure about any of that. But he nodded along anyway. “I’ll call sometime to do lunch,” he told her before he left. He stepped outside and looked up at the sky. “What now?”

Towns away, Woohyun was sitting on the floor with a large tub in front of him. Making kimchi was a pastime that he and his mother shared since he was little and ‘Mommy’s Lil Helper’ in the kitchen. And something about the sharp smell, and the sloshing noises, and the feeling of the crisp cabbage was comforting. But not today. His palms were sweaty, the rubber gloves sticking to his skin. And he was sweaty and hot all over in general. There was a strange lump in his throat that no amount of water could wash away, and his chest was unbearably tight. The symptoms of his hangover had dissipated, but now he was plagued with a new illness: anxiety. But he had to do this today. He had to get this off his chest.

“Mom,” his tongue felt heavy in his mouth. His mother perked up her head. “I,” Woohyun began stuttering. “I’m in love with Sunggyu.”

“Well, duh!” his mother laughed and returned her attention to the tub in front of her. “You’ve only been dating him for a few months now.”

“I’m not joking!” Woohyun objected. That outburst caught his mother’s attention again. She looked back up at Woohyun while rubbing the sauce on the cabbage. “Look, Sunggyu and I have been…faking it,’ he confessed. “Faking the whole being a relationship. And I was actually seeing Cho-uh-I mean Minseon on the side.”

“Woohyun!” she yelled, dropping the cabbage into the tub with a wet plop.

“We broke up though, for good,” Woohyun tried to assuage her anger. He then looked down, spreading the cabbage leaves in his hands. “But…I don’t think I’m faking it with Sunggyu anymore. I’m…I’m…I like men.” He was admitting this for the very first time, both to himself and aloud. He had tried so hard to be normal, to live life according to that damn manual he made. He wanted to live up to the expectations that society had and that he had for himself. But he couldn’t. No matter how hard he tried to force it, he couldn’t. Slowly he lifted his gaze back at his mother, who was smiling at him softly.

“I know.”

“Huh?”

“I know,” she repeated. “Your father and I have always known. It was the reason why you and your father hadn’t had the best relationship. He’s come to terms with it now, but…” She left that last part hanging. Woohyun knew exactly what she meant regardless. But still…

“How?” Woohyun asked. “How could you know?”

“Parents normally do. And they normally know before the children do, before the children know anything about love or attraction,” she explained. Then she giggled a bit, nervously. “ I actually had this conversation with Dongwoo’s mother years back. She knew about Dongwoo too.” Mrs. Nam then leaned forward and tapped Woohyun on the nose, leaving a smudge of red pepper sauce. “And you. Little Mr. Stubborn, you were always such a smooth liar. You had a reason for everything,” she teased as she sat back down. She clicked her tongue. “I think that you might’ve even convinced yourself over all these years that you weren’t gay. But it’s not something you fight. It’s something you accept.”

“But…is it really okay?” he asked. This all seemed a little too easy. He had expected shouting and disappointment (but then again, his mother did set him up with Sunggyu in the first place, so Woohyun shouldn’t have been that surprised at this reaction). “I mean, I won’t ever be able to give you grandchildren. Biological ones anyway,” he reminded her.

“Sweetie, that’s what Boohyun’s for,” she joked with a lilting laugh. Sadly, Boohyun probably thought that way too, which was probably why he wanted to have so many children. Woohyun finally relaxed and laughed along, smiling for the first time that day. But then he tensed up at hearing his father’s voice.

“Oh, Woohyun’s home! Hello son!” Mr. Nam called out to his son, bending over to pat Woohyun’s shoulders. “Oh!” Suddenly his father poked at a spot on Woohyun’s back, just above his collar. It stung. Woohyun stiffened realizing what it was (and a part of him that wasn’t frightened out of his mind was happy that he wasn’t the only one who wanted to mark the other). His father just chuckled and patted Woohyun’s back. “It looks like someone had fun last night,” he teased. Woohyun looked up at him in shock. He really does know. And…it’s okay. “I’m going to watch the game,” Mr. Nam announced. “Join me after you finish up here, okay? You little rascal.” The old man to continued to laugh as he traipsed into the living room. Woohyun turned back to his mother in a daze.

“And you said that you and Sunggyu were faking it,” she teased, raising a questioning eyebrow at him.

“We were,” Woohyun defended himself. He huffed and returned to preparing the kimchi.

But his mother was still curious. “What happened then?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” he admitted under his breath. “At some point in time, we both ended up trying to make it, us, actually work.”

“When was that?”

He lifted his gaze again. “I…I really don’t know,” he stammered as he began to pull off the rubber gloves. This wasn’t a conversation to be having with his mother, or at least not yet. Sunggyu deserved to hear it first, especially after all the crap Woohyun had put him through this morning. He had to go back home. “Mom, I got to go,” he declared as he got up from his spot. “I have to do something.”

“Oh, okay,” she answered slightly startled, watching her son quickly gather his things. “Hey Woohyun-ah? Bring Sunggyu the next time you come over,” she suggested as Woohyun opened the door to leave.

He flashed a confident grin back at her. “Will do!”

❝Ah, but really, Sunggyu hyung is really handsome. His skin is so pearly white, and his eyes are really big❞

-Woohyun (120109 Younha’s Starry Night)

It was getting dark outside, and it was a gloomy overcast night so it seemed even darker and more dreary with the sky robbed of its stars. The apartment was the same, dark, save for a small overhanging light in the kitchen. And in spite of his late night the night before, Sunggyu couldn’t sleep. He was tired as hell, but he still couldn’t sleep. And so he was making coffee, which will deprive him of even more sleep. Sunggyu couldn’t have cared less. He was in the mood for something bitter.

All day, after being sent home by his mother, he contemplate about what he’d say to Woohyun if he saw him again (because as the hours past Sunggyu was doubtful if the other would ever come back). And after a day of planning all Sunggyu could come up with was “What the f**k do you want?” Perhaps not the best thing to say, but it got straight to the point. He hadn’t come up with something better. Also he hadn’t come up with something more. So he’d lead with that and see where it would go from there.

Sunggyu picked up his mug, about to drink out of it, but his hand trembled and it spilled. “!” He walked over to the counter to pick up a rag and wipe up the mess. This just wasn’t his day.

He was about to turn around when a pair of arms snuck around his waist. Sunggyu froze. He hadn’t heard anybody come in. He was going to fight back, but a pair of warm lips pressed against the nape of his neck. Sunggyu sighed, knowing exactly who is was now, and turned around wholly prepared to ask his brilliant question. Then Woohyun raised his head and pecked Sunggyu on the lips, derailing what little of a plan that Sunggyu had.

“What was that for?” Sunggyu asked in a daze.

“I don’t know,” Woohyun replied with a shrug. He wiggled a bit, back and forth, acting cute. “Just cause.”

Sunggyu narrowed his eyes and threw the other’s arms away from him. “What did you do? Is someone here? Is it your mom?” That was only explanation for this burst of affection. Woohyun did nothing without an audience.

Woohyun pouted. “Can’t I just be nice to my lover without doing something wrong or having someone to watch?”

“Wait,” Sunggyu paused and studied the other. The way that Woohyun pronounced ‘lover’ was deliberate. “D-do you remember?”

“Last night?” Woohyun asked. Sunggyu nodded. “Mostly. Why? Am I not allowed to remember?” he joked with a light chuckled.

“No, it’s just that,” Sunggyu struggled finding the right words. “You were really freaked out earlier, and I thought…you regretted it.”

Woohyun stepped closer to Sunggyu, pinning him to the counter. His ran his hands up and down the elder’s upper arms gently. “The only thing I regret is not being able to remember the night entirely,” he spoke in a low voice, biting his lip.

Sunggyu shot him a skeptical look and pushed him away. “I don’t believe you. Someone’s here, aren’t they? Mom? Mrs. Nam?” he called out, searching for their mothers as he brushed past Woohyun into the living room.

Woohyun chased after him, finding the elder looking lost in the room as if he hadn’t been there before. “Okay okay. I was freaked, alright? “ he admitted. Sunggyu stopped searching for anybody else and faced Woohyun. “I woke up not remembering anything, but you did. And you were so…happy. Then I felt sore everywhere. And all those hickies…”

“I get it. I get it,” Sunggyu cut him off falling onto the couch. His quickly reddening face was hidden behind his hands.

Woohyun walked over to the other side of the couch and sat down. He put a hand on his hyung’s knee. “It’s just that I knew something changed, and I didn’t know what it was,” he explained. Sunggyu let his hands drop from his face and watched the other from the corner of his eye. Woohyun squeezed the knee and continued, “And that’s scary, hyung.”

“What about now?” Sunggyu asked. He glanced over at the younger who seemed puzzled by the question. Sunggyu faced him head-on and reiterated, “Now that you remember, is it still scary?”

“At first it was,” Woohyun confessed. He saw Sunggyu’s face fall and regretted being so honest. Woohyun scooted closer and spoke in a low and gentle voice, “Only because I was exposed and embarrassed. This wasn’t a part of my plan. None of this was. And I had denied it for so long, tried to stop it. Tried to make things right again. But then I remembered.” Woohyun stopped.

Sunggyu scoffed, rolling his eyes. Woohyun was looking at him expectantly to ask why. “Remembered what?” Sunggyu gave in.

“That there was nothing to fix,” he answered with a shake of his head. “The person that I love, loves me back. And there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Love?” Sunggyu repeated, looking down at his lap with a small smile.

Woohyun’s own smile grew brighter. “Yea, love,” he repeated. He slid down the couch until he was right next to the other, with their thighs touching. Woohyun held onto Sunggyu’s arm tightly and rested his head on the other’s shoulder. “I love you,” he said again. “So don’t be mad, okay? Don’t be mad because I’m stupid.”

Sunggyu glanced down at the pouting Woohyun begging for forgiveness. He chuckled, pulling his arm away from Woohyun’s grasp only to wrap it around Woohyun. “If I was mad every time you were being stupid, I’d never be happy again,” Sunggyu joked.

“Are you happy now?”

Sunggyu rest his head on top of the other and nestled into Woohyun’s fluffy hair. “Eung,” he hummed.

The day wasn’t perfect. It was cloudy and overcast because it was the rainy season when it was annoying hot and cold at the same time. And Woohyun had a horrible day at work. He had to fire someone, which he hated to do. And the person ended up crying, which meant that Woohyun ended up comforting them and perhaps added a thing or two into the severance package that he shouldn’t have (and he’d get yelled by the boss later for it). He had to skip lunch to finish work that he’d put off, but it was all worth it because he got off right on time. He had someone special waiting for him. Today was the day. He felt the small box in his pants’ pocket as he watched Sunggyu through the window of the restaurant (the one where they had their first official date). And in less than an hour, he was going to propose to him.

He walked inside, trying to be as nonchalant as possible, but he couldn’t hide the excited spring in his step. He could hardly wait, and he didn’t wait very long. Almost as soon as he sat down, Woohyun said, “Sunggyu, I have something to ask you.”

“Hm?” Sunggyu hummed, looking at the drinks menu not sparing the other a glance. “You want some wine? Let’s get a red.”

“Actually, I think champagne might suit the occasion better,” Woohyun hinted. Sunggyu slowly put down the menu, narrowed his eyes and tilted his head in his usual fox-like expression. Woohyun grinned and reached for his pocket. “Hyung, I…”

“No. NO!” Sunggyu objected, grabbing Woohyun’s arm and stopping him. “You’re not doing this!”

Woohyun was crestfallen and slunk down into his seat. “Huh? Wha—“

Sunggyu let go of the arm and pointed to himself, “I was going to. I was planning for weeks. You’re not going to steal this from me, Nam Woohyun!” he shouted, now shaking his finger at the man across from him.

“B-but,” Woohyun stuttered, confused at the recent turn. “I made the reservations a week ago.”

“After I suggested it,” Sunggyu fought back.

And he did. Woohyun could remember it clearly: the two of them were on the couch watching t.v.. Sunggyu was laying on top of Woohyun that night. Woohyun remembered that because he could recall how adorable it was when Sunggyu looked up at him and asked, “Hey, you know what would be fun?”

“Hm?”

“Remember the restaurant that we went to with Yeol?”

“Our first date,” Woohyun answered fondly, the elder’s cute head.

“Yea, we should go there again.”

“Okay, I’ll make the reservations,” Woohyun offered. And that was the end of the conversation. Huh? I guess Sunggyu did start planning this first. He then felt a pang of guilt. In comparison to that, it looked like he’d was proposing on a whim.

“And I never want to do things like this so just let me,” Sunggyu whined.

Woohyun smiled. Either way, he was leaving the dinner with a fiancé. “Okay, hyung. You can propose to me,” he yielded.

At that, Sunggyu screwed his face into an unreadable expression. He then threw his napkin and crossed his arms, looking away. “No. It’s ruined now. I’m not doing it,” he protested.

“No, wait, Gyu! Please do it. Please!” Woohyun begged, moving his chair closer to the other. Now he was curious to see what the other was going to do.

“But you already know,” Sunggyu huffed. He turned his gaze back to Woohyun who was looking up at him with feigned innocence (his trademark).

Woohyun shook his head. “No, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he insisted. He opened up the wine menu again. “I thought we were getting wine. How about this one?” He pointed at a random brand on the list. “This seems good for a completely normal and not special moment.”

Sunggyu broke into a laugh, seeing how committed to the bit Woohyun was. He must really want me to do it. Which was odd, because Woohyun would take any opportunity to put his affection on display. He relished in moments like these. So the fact that Woohyun gave in so easily spoke volumes. The laughter drifted away, and Sunggyu became somber. “Woohyun?” he began and the younger scooted in closer, making Sunggyu smile. “I’m not really good at expressing myself.”

“Really, hyung? Geez, and you’re a college professor,” Woohyun teased.

Sunggyu threw his napkin on the table again. “I’m not doing this,” he protested, threatening to get up.

“I’LL SHUT UP!” Woohyun shouted, pulling Sunggyu down to get him to sit back in the chair. “I’ll shut up,” he said more quietly once Sunggyu sat down. And Woohyun hid his lips behind his teeth.

“I’m not good at expressing…my feelings,” Sunggyu restated. “Or at least in words. So…do you hear this song playing?” Woohyun nodded. “I wrote it for you.”

“Wait! What?!” Woohyun exclaimed with wide eyes. The song had been playing in the background for awhile now. “Hyung! Restart it! I missed the beginning. I'm missing all of it,” he complained. He couldn’t believe that he was missing it, his special song.

Sunggyu laughed at how distraught the other was. He turned to the wait staff and gestured at them to start the song again. “Did you sing this?” Woohyun whispered, afraid that he might miss the song again.

“Did you seriously think that I only studied music?” Sunggyu teased.

“Shh!” Woohyun hushed, covering the other’s mouth. The song had started up again, and now that he was really listening to it, Woohyun became confused and worried. The melody, the lyrics, it all wasn’t particularly happy or adoring. It wasn’t like Sunggyu was belting out, “Baby! My love beautiful!” It was almost sad.

Sunggyu noted the other’s confusion and leaned in, whispering in his ear, “This…is how I felt before we got together, when we were still pretending. And this place made me realize that I wasn’t. Pretending that is. And I wanted to try.” Woohyun turned towards him with his expression unchanged, but that didn’t stop Sunggyu. “For the first time, I actually wanted to try to make a relationship work. And for the first time, I wanted to do something like this, and not do it because I felt like I had to. But because I really wanted to. Because, I think, I’m in love for the first time. And so, Nam Woohyun,” he spoke the name gently as he reached into his pocket. He took out a golden band. Then he reached for Woohyun’s hand and slipped the ring right on, not giving the other a choice (because let’s face it, Woohyun would’ve said yes anyway). “You’re going to marry me because I’m not going to let you go,” he declared.

Woohyun lunged forward and enveloped the other in a hug. He nuzzled his head in the crook of Sunggyu’s shoulder and said a muffled “Thank you.” Which Sunggyu found so endearing that he hugged the younger even closer…which made Woohyun cling on tighter like it was a competition.

“Okay. Okay. I can’t breathe. Let go,” Sunggyu said in a strained voice, tapping the other’s arms.

And Woohyun let go willingly. “Okay. My turn!” he announced leaning back into his seat and reaching into his pocket.

“What? But I just…”

“Too bad, hyung,” Woohyun cut him off. “I prepared, and I want to do it too. Give me your hand,” he commanded as he made grabby hands at the other.

Sunggyu reluctantly handed it over. “What are you doing?” he asked as Woohyun turned his hand over with the palm facing up. Woohyun just smiled and placed a long wooden stick in it. Sunggyu looked down at the stick and back up at the other. “What is this?”

“You don’t recognize it?” Woohyun was a bit saddened. “I got it from Miss Gong.”

“Oh!” Sunggyu exclaimed, finally recognizing it. It was one of the old lady’s diving sticks. Sunggyu chuckled in disbelief. “No way.”

“Remember when this formed a heart, hyung? And then we were told that we were soul mates?” Woohyun asked, and Sunggyu nodded still studying the stick. “At first I didn’t believe it,” Woohyun spoke as he made Sunggyu put his palm out flat again. He then took out his red pocket square with a flourish and placed it over the stick. Woohyun waved his hand over Sunggyu’s palm, mumbling some gibberish. Then suddenly he tore away the cloth and the stick had disappeared.

“What? Where did it go?” Sunggyu blubbered, staring at his hand in disbelief.

Woohyun chuckled at the elder’s amazed expression. And while Sunggyu was still babbling, Woohyun decided to catch him off guard. He reached into the inside of Sunggyu’s suit coat and pulled out a heart shaped box. “I didn’t believe it until I saw this heart. Yours,” Woohyun said with a cheeky grin. And Sunggyu looked at him with a mixed expression of amazement, bafflement, and disgust at his words. He was also patting down the front of the coat wondering what else Woohyun might’ve hidden in there. Woohyun chuckled but still continued, grabbing one of Sunggyu’s hands, “Hyung, us meeting then was fate. The signs were there, but you know I can be stupid. It took me awhile to see it. But I love you, Sunggyu. You’re mine.” He opened the heart shaped box, revealing a golden band as well. He took it out and turned Sunggyu’s hand over, putting it on. “And I’m not letting go of you either,” he promised giving the hand a squeeze.

“You’re gross,” was the first thing Sunggyu said afterwards. Woohyun frowned, causing Sunggyu to chuckle a bit. “Come here,” Sunggyu beckoned, opening up his arms to the other. Woohyun fell in. “I love you so much,” Sunggyu whispered, and that was exactly what Woohyun wanted to hear. But then Sunggyu let go and pulled away. “Now how did you do that? Did you put it in your coat?” he demanded.

Woohyun clicked his tongue and wagged his finger, “A magician never reveals his secrets.”

“It was up your sleeves?” Sunggyu guessed, but Woohyun still wasn’t giving in. “Come on, you’re not a real wizard.”

“Really?” Woohyun challenged, raising an eyebrow. “How about some champagne? Yap!” he exclaimed, waving his finger in the air. Then the waiters suddenly appeared at their table handing them glasses and filling them with champagne.

Sunggyu rolled his eyes. He had ordered the champagne earlier and even told them when to deliver it. “Impressive,” his voice was dripping in sarcasm.

“You’ll like my next trick,” Woohyun retorted. Sunggyu raised an eyebrow, taking a sip from his glass. Woohyun leaned in and whispered breathily into his ear, “Remember, last time in the bathroom? How about I do it for real this time?”

Sunggyu tipped back the glass, downing the rest of the drink. He hit Woohyun on the shoulder as he got up from the table. “Let’s go.”

❝Always be happy, ‘till your heart burns out!!❞

-Sunggyu (120123 Twitter)