I. PRESENT

Sweat drips down his forehead, his pillow already soaked and stained. He gasps for air and raises his arm as if to grasp for something he could grab on to save his dear life. He continues doing so until he opens his eyes and he takes a deep breath to calm his nerves and realizes that he's having a nightmare again.

Minseok grabs a couple of tablets, pops it to his mouth and reaches for the glass of water placed on his nightstand and drowns the whole contents of it. The digital clock says it's 4 o'clock in the crack of dawn and prays that he would be able to maximize the two hours left before he would prepare to go to work

A shrill alarm fills the whole room which Minseok grudgefully taps it to shut it up. He rubs his eyes and adjusts quickly to his environment, the sun is starting to shy brightly as if waking up together with him. He gets up from his bed and goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth and take a shower.

After dressing up in a meticulously pressed slacks and baby blue button down shirt, he walks to the kitchen to find out that his fridge is empty again, he's gone too lazy to fight the battlefield called supermarket. Guess his going to eat breakfast at the coffeeshop down his apartment again.

He opens the glass door of the shop and the familiar twinkling of the bells hung above signals his entrance. The employee in the counter smiles at him and immediately taps on the screen which is probably Minseok's usual order. He had been eating here for a long time now that everyone working in the shop already knows what he wants.

Chanyeol, the bright and tall waiter places down a cup of black coffee and a pain au chocolat and also a complementary cookie on Minseok's table which Minseok returns with a thanks.

"First day at work, yeah?"

Minseok nods at Chanyeol and smiles at him. He picks up his coffee and sniffs the luscious aroma of it, he bites down the bread and the contrasting flavors on his mouth feels so wonderful, it's neither too strong nor sweet. Minseok thinks it's perfect.

Today is the first day of him being a teacher assistant. He's actually still in college but one of his professor begged him to substitute the teacher from their highshool department. It's only for a few months he said plus there's extra credit and it would be an experience for him. 

A man wearing a track suit, which definitely is a PE teacher welcomes him and guides him to the homeroom which he is going to substitute. The man tells him where every room is situated and talks about the usual practices here in the school.

Before he knew it, the two were already standing in front of a door. His nerves are being jumpy again and he tries to calm himself before he would make a fool of himself and have his students laugh at him. It would really be rude on Minseok's part but considering that he would be handling seniors, there's only a 3-4 years of .

The other teacher, which he later knew is Mr. Lee, blows his whistle to catch everyone's attention. "This is Mr. Kim Minseok, he would substitute Mrs. Park until she gets better."

Minseok smiles politely at the students and the room is immediately filled with murmurs and giggles. Mr. Lee taps his shoulders saying that he would leave him to his own devices and wishes him good luck. As a sign of respect, Minseok sees him the way out and clears his throat to calm his nerves, again.

"Hello again, I'll be handling homeroom and science. I hope we'll get along," Minseok says awkwardly, he crosses his fingers and wishes that everything would be alright, that we would not be regretting his decision of being a substitute teacher, "I guess you could ask me some questions."

Almost all of the students, raise their arms, eager to know more about the young and definitely handsome teacher. Minseok picks a girl with a messy bun and a shy smile on her face.

"Seongsaengnim, how old are you?"

"Almost half fifty, I'm 22," Minseok replies, a tiny laugh escaping his mouth.

It went on further which Minseok readily answers for them until the door slides open with a loud bang which shocks the hell out of Minseok. So he tries his best not to glare at the person, but instead a soft gasp left out of Minseok's lips.

"Can't you open the door like a normal person?" Baekhyun whines from his seat, his classmates silentlyagreeing in unison.

The class which was silent turned into a mess when Oh Sehun, resident cold faced smiles brightly at theirnew teacher. The girls freak out and scamper to get their phones and take a photo of such a rare happening and Jongin, Sehun's bestfriend, chokes on his saliva.

"Hyung? Seokkie-hyung?" Sehun asks, voice a pitch higher and even if he seems confident, Minseok is sure that the boy is nervous and uncertain.

"How did you know my name? I'm new here kid." Minseok asks calmly and tries out a confused expression on his face, hoping that the boy would not notice the shaking of his hands.

Sehun's face fell a little and brings both of his already curled fists to his cheeks. "Remember hyung, it's Hunnie!" 

He does aegyo in front of the new teacher and even his classmates. When he realizes what he just did, his face turns red and Sehun swears he could hear clicks and giggles.

Minseok still schools his confused face and directs the boy to where there is a vacant seat, the one near Jongin. "I'm sorry kid, you must have mistaken me for someone."

--

Minseok massages his temples, a headache starting to form on his head. He's been staying in the school for almost a month now and everything is normal, just the way Minseok wants things to be. Except for that Oh Sehun kid.

It's not because he's a hardheaded and has a bad attitude when in fact he's really polite and kind to everyone (though people still get scared because of his default expression). He's also really smart and participates well in their discussions (he answers all of Minseok's questions). He's the ideal kid which mothers like their child to be with.

Minseok is really grateful for Sehun's help and unnecessary attention but sometimes he gets annoying. Like where he still pesters Minseok if he really did not remember Hunnie, the younger brother of Hannie.

Of course, Minseok remembers. He remembers every single detail that he hates himself for having a great memory. He just wants to burn every pieces of it but he knows he can't.

"Hyung!" Minseok looks up to see Sehun, a hopeful expression marred on his face. His breathing is a little ragged, and he puts his hands on his knees to catch his breath.

He fetches the bottle of water from his bag and gives it to Sehun, hoping it could give him relief. Sehun accepts it and he utters a thanks in a tiny voice.

After calming down, Sehun crouches down and looks up to him with puppy eyes, lips formed into a pout. "There's a newly opened bubble tea shop downtown, come with me hyung. Just like the old times!"

Sehun looks so buoyant that he's afraid of declining his offer but he needs to, for the sake of everyone. "I can't, I'm busy."

The boy laughs at him and jabs his ribs in a teasing manner. "You were spacing out earlier hyung and you always do things way ahead of its deadline."

Minseok stands up abruptly, making Sehun stumble and land on his butt. "Why do you always act as if you know me to the core?" He accuses, pointing a finger to the student and dread fills his system.

"Because I grew up with you," Sehun says quietly that Minseok almost didn't catch that.

"You need to stop this delusion Sehun," he replies sternly. "That was the past and I am not the same Minseok as before, he was washed away the same way Lu- he did."

"You know what hyung? I'm done."

"I never asked you to approach me and rekindle that stupid thing in the past," Minseok rolls his eyes, a facade for Sehun to believe, that he does not care for him.

"I think you're right. My Minseok hyung was kind and all the other positive things I could describe him.You're a whole 360 degrees different from him, you're the worst." Sehun left the room with a stomped feet and a heavy heart. 

Everyone thinks that Minseok is the perfect guy but Minseok thinks otherwise. He had always been an  and he likes to live with the title, he deserves to be treated badly and feel empty.