The sunset was beautiful. And yet, I could not be reached by the joy of its radiance. My feet are numbed from walking. My insides are burned from hunger. My sight gradually blurs from fatigue. But I could not stop. I must not stop. I have to find them. WE have to find them. The thought of seeing them again is the remaining fuel inside me so I can move through this hellish nightmare.

“Are we there yet, Noona?”

“Almost there Sang Hyun.”

“…”

“…”

“I’m hungry. Can we eat?”                                                                                                      

Tears well-up in my eyes. How long can I continue this charades? My brother is hungry and so am I. My stomach grumbles every time we pass a convenient store. My throat hurts craving for anything cold and fluid. But as much as I want to beg every passerby for food, the hope of seeing them any second keeps my feet moving forward. I must not waste time.

“Of course. Just wait, okay? Umma told me that they will be waiting for us with lots of food at home. Hang in there Sang Hyun.”

“Okay, noona.”

“…”

“Noona, you can put me down now.”

“Stay there, please. We might take a while. Just get back to sleep and I’ll wake you up when we are already there. Arrasso?”

“Okay.”

I could feel his head resting on my left shoulder. I have been carrying him for hours. My back hurts from exhaustion but I must not give in. I must not let him walk and feel the same agony. He is the greatest brother in the world. He is kind, loyal and obedient. He doesn’t deserve to worry for I know at the end of the day, I will find them. We will find them again.

I know there must be a reason why we are lost. For sure, they have no intention to leave us behind. That’s right. We are their children. And we love them very much. They must have thought we already climbed inside the backseat that’s why they left. It’s my fault for being too slow. Yes, it must be my fault. But no worries, I bet they are searching the city to find us. They are our parents and that’s what they are supposed to do on this kinds of situation… doesn’t it?

I have lost count on the number of streets that we have passed and turned. On every street that we pass, I could not keep myself from looking on those happy children holding their mother’s hand. How I want to hold my mother’s right now. On every turn, I always wish to see our parents already standing in front of us, worried but relieved.

Though my spirit begs to fight, my body is at its limit. Until when should I continue this journey to nowhere? My hope is gradually fading as the last sunray touches the sky. I stopped and looked at the sky. It was cold, blue and lonely. I just closed my eyes to feel the remaining light inside me.

But I felt no fire, no warmth. I suppose I must accept the reality. We must accept the reality that they left us behind… that we are lost on this unknown city… that we have nowhere to go… as right now… all we have is ourselves. I should end this pretention once and for all.

What I must do now is to ask for help, to find food to eat and place to stay. But the most important task is to tell my brother what is happening… that our parents are gone… that they left us in the amusement park for hours… that we have been walking hoping to find them… that right now, we are lost… and right now, we are alone. But only for now, for I know that they are looking for us. Yes, they must be.

I couldn’t take this anymore. And at last, I allowed myself to cry until the last tears had dropped.