"The best love is the one that makes you a better person
without changing you into someone other than yourself"

 

 

"Where the hell have you been?" 

"Why the hell do you care?" 

He scoffed. She frowned. 

"You're with him aren't you?" Minho asked, his face showing a hint of disappointment, anger and frustration. "I was. So what?" Krystal asked nonchalantly and Minho snickered before slamming his hand on the small table at the center of the living room, burnt cigarettes rolling over from the impact, ashes flying over to places and bottles of alcohol shaking above the old table. 

"I told you to ing stay away from him!" Minho shouted standing up and Krystal kept her face impassive. "You know I'm just playing with him right?" Krystal asked with a small smile and that immediately changed the expression Minho has. "I know" He answered. "But I'll kill you if you go and see him again" Minho threatened and Krystal snickered before shaking her head, "Now you're threatening me huh?" Krystal asked still showing retraint and Minho raised his brows. "Oh believe me. I'll kill you" Minho said and Krystal chuckled before walking towards him before kissing him hard, just like that, Minho seemed to be melted by her that he kissed back and wrapped his arms around her waist with Krystal grabbing a handful of his hair. 

"Try me" Krystal said before pushing him and walking away leaving him dazed.

 

 

"This is all?" Minho asked as he checked the bag his friend handed him, nodding his head, Hyunwoo looked around the alley trying to check if someone's there. "That's all I can get from you, now where is my pay?" Hyunwoo asked and Minho took out a roll of collar from his pocket and handed it to Hyunwoo. "Get me more, I'm going to need this" Minho said and Hyunwoo raised his brows. 

"You're trying to get yourself high again, what are you thinking?" Hyunwoo asked and Minho shouldered the bag before shrugging his shoulders. "I just want to do this again" Minho answered and Hyunwoo snickered before shaking his head causing Minho to look at him questiongly. "I thought Krystal is enough to get you high?" Hyunwoo asked and Minho chuckled bitterly. 

"She's been seeing him again, say, what am I supposed to feel?" Minho asked and Hyunwoo shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know and I will never want to know" Hyunwoo answered and Minho shook his head. "Thank you for bringing this, this early" Minho said and Hyunwoo nodded his head. 

"As long as you pay" 

 

 

What happened to me? Minho asked himself. 

He asked himself that question for almost a million times already but he just gets one answer, Krystal happened to him. They argue, they fight, they kiss, they make up and then they repeat the same routine all over again, how long has it been? Two years? Three? He doesn't know anymore, his relationship with Krystal was suffocating, painful, toxicating yet it makes him high. Adding to that is the warmth he feels whenever he's with her. 

But that's not just it. They see other people, right infront of themselves. 

Especially him.

Are they fooling around? No, he doesn't think so. He's a douchebag, but he never want Krystal to leave. They may be fooling around, he may hit her at times, but he comes back crawling to her. Always. 

and so as she. 

That's how ed up their relationship was.

Krystal's seeing someone else again, he knows the guy but he never made a move. They would always argue, he would always end up hurting her, she would always end up crying but that never made them break up. Why? He came to think of that too, why would he never want Krystal to leave even when they fight for over a thousand times already? Why does Krystal still choose to stay even when he gets to the point of killing her? He doesn't know the answer, going out of the alley, Minho wore his hood on and walked away only to stop when someone blocked him. 

"Hey there sweetie" Someone said and Minho stopped walking. Lifting his head up, Minho chuckled when he saw who the person was. "What do you want Sulli?" He asked and without words, Sulli walked towards him and kissed him and immediately, he kissed her back. Pulling away, Sulli chuckled and patted his cheek. 

"She's not with you eh?" Sulli asked and Minho nodded his head. "Yeah, she's not with me" Minho answered as calm as he can and Sulli chuckled. "She's replacing you huh?" Sulli asked and abruptly, Minho grabbed Sulli's arm causing her to wince in pain. "Tell me one more thing about her replacing me and I swear, the day you see me will be the last day of you life" Minho threatened before yanking his hand off of Sulli and walking away. 

Wearing his hood back, Minho stopped when he noticed someone blocking his way. Looking up, he saw two bulky men blocking him with smirk on their faces. "Getting rough with our lady huh?" One of them asked and Minho kept his impassive face. "Aren't you going to say sorry? You hurt her" The other one added and Minho slid his tongue between his lower front teeth and lips before letting out a chuckle. "Who the hell are you?" He asked with a mocking tone and the men seemed to be annoyed. "We're the guard here in the club, don't you know how expensive she is?" The other of them asked and Minho sneered. "Expensive huh?" He asked while rubbing his index finger just below his lower lip. 

"Say sorry" The other added and Minho shook his head and tried his luck to walk past them but he got pushed back to where he's standing before. "What the hell?" Minho asked and the guard shook their heads and pointed at Sulli who's standing not far from them. "Apologize" They commanded and Minho balled his fist up ready to hit them when Sulli ran to him and held his hand. "It's alright, he can go. It's my fault, I know he's not in the mood" Sulli said while looking at Minho and the guards left. 

As soon as they did, Minho snickered. "You should have let me hit them" Minho said and Sulli chuckled mockingly. "You think you can handle them?" Sulli challenged and Minho chuckled sarcastically. "What do you think of me?" Minho asked and Sulli smiled, a devious smile. "Just go" Sulli stated. 

"Before I let them kill you"

 

 

Silence. 

That's what greeted him. Looking around, he knew where Krystal had gone and that didn't failed to make him clench his fist. He assured himself to let Krystal have beating as soon as she gets home and just in time, Krystal came. "Where have you been?" Minho growled and Krystal's hand that was on the knob began shaking. She would be lying if she says she's not afraid but she knew that she won't be able to handle the anger Minho has now, his eyes are burning and his gaze is piercing that it made her shiver in fear and before she knew it, a slap landed on her cheek and she stumbled on the floor. 

Looking up, Krystal grunted when Minho took a handful of her hair from the back and lifted her head up to face him. He was gritting his teeth in anger, he was breathing heavily and his eyes are dark. Too dark that Krystal doesn't see anything inside it anymore, not even the love she saw inside those eyes for the first time she fell for him. 

"I told you to stay away from him right?" Minho asked, his face showing mix expressions, anger, sarcasm. "I did what you told me to do" Krystal answered but all she got was another slap across her face, Krystal took a deep breath as she wiped the side of . Looking at her hand, she saw blood stains. 

She's afraid, she's utterly afraid but she doesn't know if she should show him or not. 

It's not the first time Minho did this to her, it's not the first time he tortured her. It's not the first time they hurted each other. 

Call her a masochist, but the two years of being with Minho despite the pain he's causing her was the best two years of her life. 

Yanking his hand off of Krystal's hair, Minho stood up properly. "Get up" Minho commanded and as fast as she can, Krystal stood up. "Where have you been?" He asked, his voice deep. "O-Out.." Krystal said, still shaking in fear. "With whom?" Minho asked and Krystal clenched her fist, as much as she wants to lie, she knows she can't. Because if Minho finds out that she had lied..

It will be the end of her. 

"With him" Krystal said and felt a pressure on her stomach. Falling on her knees, Krystal crouched on the cold hard floor as she couched a few times trying to catch her breath. "I told you not to but you still did!" Minho shouted as she grabbed her hair and threw her away just like a thing. Breathing hard, Krystal tried hard not to cry but failed. 

Looking up, Krystal watched as Minho walked towards the table at the center of the living room. His hand reaching out to an empty alcohol bottle at the top of the table. Her eyes widened. "N-No" Krystal said but slowly, Minho walked towards her with the bottle on his hand. "How many times should I do this for you to stop seeing him?" Minho asked and Krystal stood up trying to reach out to anything she can hold for support.

"I love you alright.. I love you" Krystal said hoping it would wake Minho up but no, his eyes got darker. "You love me?!" Minho asked, hitting the bottle at the wall smashing it to pieces, debris flying everywhere. "I-I do" Krystal said, taking small steps back. "You love me?" Minho asked with a sarcastic tone, lifting half of the bottle up, Minho pointed it in front of Krystal. "If you do, you won't be seeing him" Minho said, his look getting more and more devilish. 

"I'm not seeing him" Krystal said and with all her might pushed Minho back and ran towards her room, not forgetting to lock the door. Leaning her back on it, Krystal dropped on the floor and started crying. On the other side of the door, Minho stood and sighed when he heard the sobs coming from her. 

He clenched his fist and saw blood stains covering his hands. Grasping his hair, Minho fell on the floor too as he rested his arms above his knees and looked down on the floor. He hurted her again, he lost his control, he fell off the wagon. He told himself not to ever do it anymore, but knowing that she's seeing someone behind his back made the monster inside him go out again. 

Was it his fault? 

Was it hers?

Shaking his head, Minho took out a cigarette out from his pocket and lit it up. Looking at the closed door and back to the bottle debris scattered on the floor not far from him. Looking back at the cigarette, Minho blew the air out and stared as it disappeared. Closing his eyes, Minho let himself calm down as he listened to Krystal's sobs that was like music to his ears.

The next day.. 

"You should really stop seeing him, look what happened to you" Victoria said while treating Krystal's scratches. Looking at her friend worriedly, Victoria only sighed when she saw the pained expression Krystal has on."I can't, you know I can't" Krystal said and Victoria sighed. "Why? Because you're afraid of him? Or is it that you're crazily inlove with him that even when he beats you up you still love him?" Victoria asked and Krystal looked down. "He's just like that when he's angry" Krystal defended and Victoria snickered before shaking her head. "Angry? Krys, he does that everytime he wanted to!" Victoria said and Krystal looked away knowing that Victoria was right. Minho has been hurting her eversince they got together, he was nice at the first but then turned into a monster after a month of dating. 

"It's just that.. he's got a bad temper" Krystal stated, still trying to defend Minho. "He's insane Krys, he needs to do a rehab. He needs counselling. He drinks, he smokes, what else? He does drugs Krys, what's so good about him that made you fall?" Victoria asked and Krystal stood up abruptly not liking the tone of Victoria's voice. "Stop talking trash about him" Krystal said and Victoria shook her head. "He blinded you already Krys.. wake up!" Victoria said and Krystal shook her head. "He's nothing but trash" Victoria added. 

"I love him and that's all that matters!" Krystal snapped and just like that, she went out of Victoria's apartment. 

She hated to admit it, she doesn't like Minho hurting her but what can she do? Her heart beats for him and him only, so how the hell can she even leave him? She can't. She just can't. She tried a thousand times to turn her back away from him, but even before the days ends, she finds herself crawling back to him. 

That's how bad she has fallen for him and she admits it. 

He opened his eyes, he saw the door to Krystal's room slightly opened. Standing up, Minho threw the bottle he's holding aside before quickly walking towards Krystal's room. Looking around, he found no signs of her and then right at that moment, he felt the same old fear he's always been scared off. Immediately walking towards the closet, Minho opened it and saw Krystal's clothes neatly arranged inside. But where is she? Did she left without taking her things with her? 

He's afraid, way more than afraid. 

, that's what came into his mind when the thought of Krystal leaving him entered his mind. 

Going out to the living room, Minho stopped when he saw the front door slowly opening and there entered Krystal with a cap on. Stopping there, Minho swallowed the invisible lump on his throat as he watch her close the door. "Y-You're a-awake" Krystal said as soon as she noticed Minho standing at the center of the living room. "Where have you gone?" Minho asked, his voice stern making Krystal flinch.

"To Vic's place" Krystal cautiously said and noticed the small hint of doubt in his eyes but soon disappeared when she looked straight into his eyes. "What's that?" He asked pointing at the small bag Krystal's holding. "I went at the pharmacy earlier when you were asleep. I saw your hand bleeding" Krystal said and Minho kept his impassive face even when he's overly happy when he knew that Krystal didn't plan to leave him. Even when he felt so warm when he knew that she cared for him more than her self.

"You're telling the truth right?" Minho asked and Krystal nodded her head. Walking towards him, Krystal hesitantly brought her hands up and hugged him. "I am" She answered and felt Minho hugged her back. She knew, that the monster's resting inside of him now and she doesn't have any plans to wake it up, and, if it ever comes out of him again then she will still stay with him. 

No matter what. No matter what. 

Pulling away, Krystal weakly smiled. a weak smile that made Minho felt terribly guilty, the bruises on her face, the scratches on her arm. Is he really the one who did that? He can't believe himself too. His temper was bad, he's a monster but even when he knows he's one, he doesn't want Krystal to leave him. Call him selfish but he can't imagine himself without her anymore.

Ironic, he hurts her yet he never wants her to leave him. 

"Let's treat your hand" Krystal said and before Minho knew it, she pulled him down the couch and started cleaning the scratches on his fist. "Does it hurt?" Krystal asked when she felt Minho winced a little after she poked the scratches with the cotton. "It stings a bit" Minho answered while looking at her. "Should I stop?" Krystal asked before looking up but before she knew it, Minho leaned and gave her a chaste kiss. "No, it's alright" Minho said with a smile and Krystal nodded her head. Getting the bandage inside the small bag, Krystal gently and cautiously wrapped it around Minho's hand. 

"There. Done" Krystal said and after that, no one spoke. 

Just pure silence. An awkward one. 

"K-Krys" Minho called reluctantly, looking up, Krystal raised her brows. "What is it?" Krystal asked while looking straight at him. He felt like melting, those eyes, those eyes that he fell for. "Let's go out today, let's have a date" Minho stated and Krystal's suprised look didn't go unnoticed by him. He knows it's been a while, it's really been a while since he asked her that question. 

"A-Are you sure?" Krystal asked and Minho smiled before nodding his head in assurance. "Never been so sure" He said and Krystal slowly nodded her head. "Alright, where will we go?" Krystal asked and Minho pondered about it for a moment, he knows his question was abrupt, he didn't even got the chance to plan where they will go but the best dates happens unplanned right? 

Right. That's what he thinks so. 

"Just get dressed up and we'll go" Minho said before kissing her forehead and Krystal can't do anything but to nod. Getting up from her seat, Krystal walked towards her room and did what Minho asked her to do.

She stared at her own reflection at the window. 

She frowned, she can't go out looking like this. She knows she have to cover it all up again, she can't show anyone those scars and those bruises because if they does, then it will be the end of Minho. The end of her.

Applying her make up, Krystal made sure not to leave a hint of her being hurt. She covered all those scratches, she covered those bruises. She covered the mistake Minho did to her, that's how much she loves him. "Krys, are you done?" She heard him ask right after he knocked on the door. "I'm almost done" Krystal answered but winced in pain when she felt her cheek being stretched. 

Getting simple clothes on, Krystal walked out of the bedroom only to see Minho dressed up and ready to go.

"Let's go?" Minho asked and Krystal nodded her head as she trailed behind him. 

 

 

"It's been a while since we did something like this" Minho said as he tightened his hold around Krystal's hand. It felt great, the way how their hands seem to mold perfectly together. Noticing him looking down on their intertwined hands with a small smile on his face, Krystal smiled too and knew right at that moment that the Minho she knew and Minho she fell for was still there. "Are you happy?" Minho asked out of the blue causing Krystal to look at him questioningly. "Of course, why won't I be?" Krystal asked and Minho sighed, his face turning into a guilty one. 

"Because I kept on hurting you, because I'm so selfish that I don't want you to leave even when it kills you" Minho said and they stopped walking. Standing in front of him, Krystal reached her hand out towards his cheeks and cupped his cheeks, her eyes looking straight onto his. "It's not. I.. It's my fault anyways" Krystal said and Minho sighed as he held her hands that was on his cheeks. "I promised you not to do it again.. I'm sorry if I defied my words" Minho said and Krystal smiled weakly before shaking her head. She knows he's being honest right now, she knows he's being sincere but believe it or not, she forgave him already. 

"It's alright. I know you're trying" Krystal said and Minho nodded his head. "I'll keep on trying" He said and Krystal engulfed him into a tight hug. "I'm already glad that you managed to get rid of a few bad things about yourself already. I'm not asking you anything big anymore, I'm already happy seeing you try to get yourself together" Krystal said sincerely and felt Minho's hug around her waist tightened. "Even with the drinking part? The smoking part? What about the--" Minho asked but then stopped when Krystal cut him off. 

"You get rid of it already right? Besides, you said I can get you high too" Krystal said with a small smile knowing what's the last thing Minho's trying to talk about. "About the drinking and smoking part.. I'm not asking you to get rid of it but maybe cut it down. But let me tell you something" Krystal said before pulling away from their hug and looking straight into Minho's eyes. "I don't care if you drink or smoke or even do pot. That won't change the fact that I love you" Krystal said while looking straight into his eyes and showing much sincerity making Minho felt like tearing up. That's one of the million reasons why he loves her. 

"But.. you already got a hold of the last part and trust me, I'm way more than glad. Smoking and drinking alone is better, but getting rid of it all is the best. But.. I'm not going to ask you to do it anymore. Sacrifing the last one on the list is already enough for me" Krystal said before kissing his cheek and Minho nodded his head feeling too much guilt. He just got his supply from Hyunwoo again and hearing those words from Krystal trusting him about not doing it anymore made his stomach mangle. He hated that guilt he felt because he knows she trusts him so much and now he's hiding it from her. He's hiding the fact that he's going back to his old addict self again.

"R-Really?" Minho asked and Krystal nodded her head. "We'll do it together" Krystal said with a smile and Minho nodded his head. 

"Together"

 

"Minho-ah. Are you home?" Krystal gently asked as soon as she walked inside the door. The lights were closed and there are no signs of him, shattered pieces of bottle lying on the floor, burnt cigarette, ripped clothes and other trashes lying around the living room. Looking towards the room where they sleep, Krystal notied that the door was slightly open making her assume that Minho was there. Stealthily walking towards the bedroom, Krystal pushed the door opened only to see almost empty alcohol bottles, pushing the door to open wider, Krystal's eyes widened when he saw what Minho's doing. "M-Minho.." Krystal trailed and Minho immediately lifted his head up when he heard her voice. Letting go of the drug paraphernalia he's holding and abruptly stood up. 

"It's not what you think" He said, his voice different than the usual one. Dropping her bag on the floor, Krystal furrowed her brows and walked closer towards him. "You promised me not to do this anymore, what are you doing?! What if you get caught?" Krystal asked and Minho squinted his already red eyes. "What? No, I won't" He calmly said but then Krystal gritted her teeth. "What if you do?!" Krystal asked louder this time but Minho just waved his hand in front of her and walked out towards the room, she followed him. "I'm hungry, do you want to eat?" He asked with a smile and Krystal sighed before pinching the bridge of his nose. "Get yourself together!" Krystal scolded and Minho turned his gaze towards her and calmly raised his brows. "You're too noisy" He complained with a frown before getting a glass out from the cup board in front of him.

"I just care about you getting caught!" Krystal shouted and Minho threw the glass on the floor smashing it into pieces. "You don't ing care with what I'm doing, do you get it?!" Minho shouted his eyes burning with anger already and Krystal knew that Minho lost it, high or not, he's really bad at handling his anger and now it seems like she has woken up the monster inside of him again. 

"I am your girlfriend so I care about you!" Krystal shouted, her worried getting the best of her. "and you dare to call yourself my girlfriend when you flirt and sleep with other guys. You're nothing but a " Minho said his face blank and Krystal felt her heart clench. Is that what Minho thinks of her all these while? "You.." Krystal trailed not knowing what to say anymore. They were just fine the day before but what happened now? She thought something will change between them but it's like they're back to their old selves. 

To their old lives. 

To their old routine. 

"What? I'm just telling the truth" Minho said with a scoff and Krystal felt tears threatening to fall down her eyes. She won't deny that she tried looking for someone else to replace Minho but she failed, and even when she did, she still stayed with Minho all throughout. She did her best to be faithful to him, she did her best to understand him but his words were too much. It cut deep onto her heart that hurted her badly. "You don't know what you're saying.. just.. go back to sleep and we'll talk about this when you're finally back to reality" Krystal said calmly and was about to take him back towards the bedroom when Minho yanked her hand off of him causing her to stumble backwards. "Stop trying to avoid what I'm saying" Minho said and Krystal sighed. "I am not" She said and Minho chuckled. "But it's funny.." He said sarcastically. 

"Because even when I hurt you, and even when I get to the point of killing you already. I still don't want you to leave me" Minho said with a frown, his eyes getting softer and that broke Krystal's walls. The tears she has been trying not to let out finally escaped her eyes. "and I don't want you to leave me too" Krystal said and Minho looked away not wanting to see her cry like that. About to say something, Minho heard a knock from the door and furrowed his brows. 

"Krystal are you in there? It's me.. Onew" The person on the other side of the door said and Krystal's eyes widened as the anger present on Minho's eyes earlier that vanished came back again. 

"It's not what you think" Krystal said when he saw the anger in his eyes. "Krys? Are you in there? It's me Onew, I just want to return you the handkerchief you left in my car earlier" Onew said and Krystal gulped the non-existent lump that was blocking when Minho balled his fist. His hands shaking. 

"I thought you're not going to see him ever again?" Minho asked, his voice dead serious. "I-I am" Krystal said and Minho scoffed. "Then what are you doing with him?" He asked with his eyes wide and his teeth gritted. "I.. It.." Krystal trailed not knowing what to say. "Krys?" Onew called again and Minho was breathing hard already. 

"You lied to me" Minho said under his breath. "No" Krystal said while shaking her head and Minho breathed harder. 

"YOU LIED TO ME!" Minho shouted and Krystal closed her eyes. "It's not what you think!" Krystal answered back and Onew's calls from the other side of the door was ignored when Minho pushed her hardly making her stumble and fall on the floor. Gaining all her strength back, Krystal stood up only to receive a slap from him. "It's not what I think huh? Then what is he doing here?" Minho asked and Krystal shook his head. Seeing her step back, Krystal watched as Minho walked back towards the room and to her surprise, Minho came back with her phone in his hands. 

"Give it back to me" Krystal pleaded but before she can even take the phone away from him, Minho already pushed her away making her fall on the floor. Scrolling through the messages on her phone, Minho growled under his breath when he saw the message Onew sent to Krystal, asking her to run away from him. 

"So you're planning to leave me huh?" Minho asked with a sinister look in his face. It was the last phase, Krystal knew how bad Minho is in handling his temper and with the influence of alcohol and drugs, she knows she won't be able to control him anymore. "No" Krystal answered but then flinched when Minho threw her phone on the floor causing it to break into pieces, seeing a broken glass on the floor, Minho picked it up and pointed it towards Krystal. "No, please don't" Krystal pleaded but Minho shook his head. 

"It's better for you to be dead if you're just going to leave me" Minho said with a frown and Krystal shook her head. "I'm not going to leave you Minho, believe me" Krystal begged and the Onew's knock on the door grew louder making Minho angrier. "THEN WHAT THE IS HE DOING HERE?!" Minho asked and Krystal shook his head. "I don't know" Krystal answered. 

"Open the door Krys!" Onew shouted outside making Minho rage even more. "You do know how I am without you right? So it's better this way, us dying together than you leaving me alone" Minho said and Krystal shook her head before reaching out towards him cupping his cheeks. "No, we'll live together. I won't leave you, you do know how much I love you right?" Krystal asked while looking straight into his eyes trying to calm him down and change his mind. If she can. 

"I do" He answered and Krystal nodded her head and was about to lean in closer to him when Onew shouted from outside again. 

"Krystal go out from there, come with me. Leave that jerk!" Onew shouted and just like that Minho's eyes darkened again and seemingly out of himself, Minho lifted his hand that was holding the broken bottle and stabbed it in Krystal's side making Krystal's breath hitched, she gasped, and Minho's eyes widened when he felt the bottle struck deep, it was only then he came back to reality. He removed his hand together with the bottle and blood covered it, Krystal's hold on him loosened and she took a step back and looked held on the spot where he stuck her. Lifting her hand up, Krystal looked back at Minho when she saw her hand covered with blood. 

"Krystal!" Onew shouted and before Minho knew it, Onew already broke the door. "Take him!" Onew ordered the two guards that was with him and before Minho can even react, the two bulky guards already got a hold of him and dragged him out. Minho tried to speak, but then stopped when he saw Krystal fall on the floor. Unconscious. 

That was the last thing he saw because before he knew it, he's already inside the cold prison bars.

 

5 Years Later.. 

"Welcome to the outside world" The jail guard said to Minho as he gave him a small smile. "Aren't you excited to finally go out?" He asked when he saw the Minho didn't even bother to smile. "It's not that" Minho answered. "I just thought that.. nobody would welcome me outside. So I think it's better if I stay here instead, besides.. I feel like continuing my rehab" Minho said and the jail guard chuckled. 

"Afraid to face the changes right? It happens all the time, mostly with the ones who doesn't have someone to visit them but let me tell you this, think of it as a new start, you've been a good man inside so try to be a good one outside too. Besides you've finished your rehab already, don't overdo yourself" The jail guard said with a chukle and Minho nodded his head as he secure his duffel bag in his shoulders. 

"I'll try to visit here from time to time" Minho said and the jail guard patted his shoulder before nodding his head. "Don't forget to bring me treats here" He said and Minho chuckled as he nodded his head. "I won't forget about that.. I'll see you soon enough" Minho said and the jail guard chuckled. "I hope not to see you here because you're going to be inside again alright?" He said and Minho nodded his head in assurance. "I won't" He answered before giving the guard a salute and walking out of the jail gates. 

Feeling the sun greet him, Minho sighed as he looked around and walked out of the compound where the city jail was.

Five years, five long years since he had been inside and never did he had any chances on even taking a glance out of the outside world. A lot of things had changed, from the colors of the structures around, from the cars passing by, to the scent of the city. It felt so good yet so sad to him. 

But there's only one thought that crossed his mind. 

Krystal. 

It's five years already, five years of not being able to hear anything from her. The last thing he knew about her was that her being unconscious after he stabbed her, is she still alive? If she's alive is she married now? Is she dating someone else? Does she already have a family.. or.. is she with Onew? 

He doesn't know. 

Should he find her, but no, he doesn't want her to be bothered by him anymore. Two years of making her life a hell is already enough for him, being with her for years is enough for him to reflect with everything he has done to her when he's inside. He felt so much guilt that he went counselling, he went rehab, in hopes to change for the better and the least.. make Krystal proud of him.

But will she be proud of him? No, he doesn't think so. Right now, all he can think of is that if she's ever alive, then her heart is filled with hatred towards him. Why wouldn't she when he just tried to kill her? But.. what if she really didn't survive? 

He's in agony. 

He felt what Krystal felt when he's inside the prison bars, he got beated up, he got played around and he felt so helpless that he, at times, finds himself crying at the corner of the small cold room. At times, he found himself regretting everything he has done to her, he should have treated her better. 

But everything's late. 

Too late. 

Still standing on the same spot, Minho pondered if he should find her or not. He knows everything about her, to where her family lives, where her parents work and what university her sister attends to but it's already five years. Everything has changed and probably, Krystal's family had changed ways of living too, maybe her parents don't work on the same place anymore, her sister probably graduated from the university, maybe they had moved away from their home and worse.. he knows that they originally live overseas. What if they came back there? A lot can happen in a second, he thought. What more is five years? 

He knows it's a bad idea to show up right in front of Krystal's parents, not when he eloped with their youngest child when she's just entered college. He knew it was a bad idea to ask Krystal to run away with him, but he can't help it, he's in love with her. He's too in love with her that it got to the point of him getting crazy over her. 

Sigh. 

That's all he can do. 

"Move on Minho.. what if she's living happily now?" Minho talked to himself. 

What if you really killed her? His inner self asked back and he felt terrible guilt. 

"No" He answered. 

"I'm going to find her.. alive.. or not" 

 

"Welcome Minho, we're glad that you chose this foundation. We're glad to have your volunteer services here, the prison warden said that you've been a good guy inside and I hope we can work well here too" The lady said as soon as she spotted Minho wandering around the garden of the ophanage. "No, it's alright ma'am. I'm glade to be able to help here" Minho kindly said and the lady smiled warmly. "Since you're going to be here for a while, call me Mrs. Kang. We have two workers here too and they're like you.. they're volunteers here too and I'm hoping you can be friends with them" The Mrs. Kang said and Minho nodded his head. "That won't be a big problem Mrs. Kang. I'll gladly be friends with them" Minho said with a smile and before the lady can even answer him, a little girl already approached them. 

"Mrs. Kang.. where is unnie?" the little girl asked and the lady lowered herself in front of the little girl and held her by the shoulders. "She said she's not going to be here the whole week" The Mrs. Kang told the child and Minho watched as they talked to each other. Seeing this, he immediately remembered Krystal. 

They wanted to have kids too. 

Maybe if he weren't a monster then.. he successfully fulfilled her wishes but no. He failed. 

He terribly and utterly failed. 

"Why?" The little girl asked and the lady caressed her cheek. "Because she went somewhere far from here so unnie needs to be gone for a week because of important matters" Mrs. Kang said and Minho watched as the little girl's eyes suddenly lit up. "Really?" she asked in anticipation and Mrs. Kang nodded her head. "Yes, so be a good girl for the whole week and unnie will be here before you know it" she added. Standing up, Mrs. Kang turned her attention to Minho. "Minho, meet Minri, she's one of the kids that live here" Mrs. Kang said and Minho smiled towards the little as he waved his hand towards Minri who's hiding behind Mrs. Kang. 

"Hi Minri, I'm Minho oppa and I'm going to be here everyday. We can play" He said with a smile and Minri stopped hiding behind Mrs. Kang and reluctantly approached him. "Really?" Minri asked and Minho smiled before nodding his head. "Yes, oppa's going to be here. We can be playmates" He said with a grin and Minri grinned too. "I would love to!" Minri said excitedly and Minho gave her a high five. 

"Minri, why don't you go bring your oppa to the other kids and introduce him to them?" Mrs. Kang asked and Minri nodded her head. Taking Minho's hand, Minri gave him a smile. "Let's go?" She cutely asked and Minho chuckled before nodding his head. "We'll leave first Mrs. Kang" Minho said and Mrs. Kang nodded her head. 

"Enjoy your time with the kids" She said. 

 

A week later.. 

"Oppa, you're tired already?" 

"Hyung, let's play more soccer!" 

"Hyung, weakling!" 

"Oppa, join us!" 

The kids flocked around him as soon as Minho dropped on the ground, exhausted. "You just play first..I'm tired" Minho said as he closed his eyes and stuck his tongue out pretending to be dead tired making the children around him errupt into laughter. "You're so funny hyung" One of the kids said and Minho opened one eye before grabbing the little's boy's wrist and pulling him and. "Am I a clown?" Minho asked while tickling the sides of the boy making him laugh hardly. "No! hyung please let me goooo!" the boy shoited as he desperately tried to wiggle out of Minho's arms. Successfully doing so, the boy pouted and Minho chuckled. 

"Go play there first alright? I'll follow you" Minho told the kids and everyone nodded their heads as they made a run towards the other side of the vast backyard of the orphanage, finally being able to find peace, Minho closed his eyes and draped his arm over it when he felt a small hand shaking his arm. Removing his arm over his eyes, Minho raised his brows when he saw Minri smiling at him. 

"Is there anything Minri?" Minho asked as he sat up and Minri smiled before shaking her head. "I'll take that as a yes, what's bothering you?" Minho asked and Minri looked away before pouting. "I miss my unnie" Minri said and Minho furrowed his brows. "You have a sister?" Minho asked and Minri shook her head. 

Ah, must be the volunteers Mrs. Kang is talking about. Minho thought. 

"You miss the other volunteers?" Minho asked and Minri nodded her head. "I miss K--" 

"Kids! I'm back!" 

"Unnie!"

"Noona!" 

"Unnie's here!" Minri said happily and before Minho can even react to what Minri said, Minri already dashed off towards the owner of the voice. Standing up, Minho dusted his pants and lifted his head up to look at the person who just got the kids attention only to freeze when he looked right into the person's eyes. 

"Krystal unnie, meet Minho oppa. He's taking care of us too!" Minri said while dragging the surprised Krystal towards Minho who was standing there frozen. "Unnie?" Minri called making Krystal go back to reality. "Yes?" Krystal asked before kneeling down in front of Minri, she tried her best not to look affected seeing him there. She was surprised, five years, five long years of not seeing him and not being with him yet her heart still beated wildly for him. 

"Why are you not speaking?" Minri asked with a pout and Krystal smiled a little but before she can even say something, a loud voice suddenly interrupted them. "Mommy!" The kid shouted and Krystal snapped her head towards the voice and immediately stood up as she approached the kid. "Yoogeun-ah, mommy's just here why are you so noisy?" Krystal askedd and Minho felt his breath hitched. 

She's alive. 

She has a kid. 

She's.. married. 

His heart ached terribly, he hated that feeling but what can he do? It's his own fault losing Krystal in the first place, maybe if he wasn't stupid before then maybe.. just maybe he's the man that's going to get her dreams fulfilled but no.. someone else already did. Someone else already replaced him and as much as he hated it, he knows there's nothing he can do anymore.

It's his own fault after all. 

and he completely knows that he has no one to blame but himself. 

"I'm sorry mommy" The little boy apologized and Krystal hugged him before kissing her son's cheek. "Yoogeun!" The kids shouted as they crowded around him, well, not Minri. "Why don't you go play with them?" Minho asked as soon as he noticed Minri not moving from her place. "Oppa, let's play instead" Minri said with a pout and Minho chuckled. "You little girl.. oppa's tired" Minho said with a pout too, oblivious that Krystal was watching them. 

"But I want to play" Minri said while stomping her feet and Minho sighed. "Do you want to read books instead?" Minho asked and Minri's eyes suddenly lit up. "I've got an idea!" Minri said and before Minho can even react, Minri dashed back inside leaving Krystal and Minho in awkward silence. Fortunately, Minri came back quickly with a book on her hand. "Oppa, let's go there" Minri said while pointing at the big rock that was under a tree. "Unnie, come with us" Minri said before taking Krystal's hand with her free ones and dragging her towards the rock where Minho walked to. 

"What are you up to?" Minho asked Minri while trying to ignore Krystal's presence there. "Unnie please read this book?" Minri asked and Krystal raise dher brows. "Me?" Krystal asked while pointing at herself and Minri nodded her head. "You always read Beauty and the Beast to me before.. so please?" Minri asked and Minho snorted. "You're going to sleep now?" Minho asked Minri and the little girl glared at him before lightly hitting him. "Unnie, oppa is teasing me. Can you scold him?" Minri asked and Krystal opened before closing it again.

Not now, she thought. Not when she doesn't know what to do. 

"M-Minri.. let's just read alright?" Krystal asked uncomfortably and noticing this, Minho smiled at Minri before gently patting her forehead. "Minri-ah.. I'll go inside first alright? I'll help Mrs. Kang" Minho said and without waiting for the little girl's answer, Minho turned his back only to get hit in the face by the flying ball filled coated with mud. Seeing this, Krystal's eyes widened. 

Minho hated getting hit, and now there, it happened. 

She already expected an outburst from him but no, he groaned and calmly wiped his face away. "Hyung, we're sorry.. we didn't mean to" One of the kids said with an apologetic look and and Minho sighed before wiping his dirty face again, this time with his arm. "It's alright.. just be careful playing. You might hit someone again with the ball and it might hurt the person badly. Just play.. more.. cautiously next time alright?" Minho asked and the kids nodded their heads.

"Sorry hyung" 

"Sorry oppa" 

"It's alright" Minho said as he chuckled. "I'm going to wash my face first" Minho said while smelling himself. "I'm stinky" He said and the children laughed. Watching him from aside, Krystal doesn't even know what to say, he changed. He completely did, she thought he will be angry, she thought he will be mad but no, she can see the sincerity in his eyes when he said that it was okay. Now it made her think, was he really the cold and heartless man she fell inlove with before?

"Mommy" She heard her son said. "What is it?" Krystal asked and Yoona raised his hand up and showed it to Krystal. 

"You.. let's wash it" Krystal said as she carried her five year old son inside the house and went straight towards the kitchen only to see Minho washing his face at the sink. Hearing the footsteps, Minho lifted his head and up and Krystal standing a few steps away from him with her son in her arms. Seeing that they're going to use the sink too, Minho stepped away from the sink and walked towards the cupboard to get a towel when he heard Krystal's son speak. 

"Mommy, look. He's bleeding" Yoogeun said while pointing at Minho's temple and Minho raised his brows as he raised his hand towards his temple and touch it only to wince when he felt the pain. "Don't touch it.." Krystal said and Minho flinched when she held his wrist. Finally going back to reality, Krystal retreated her hand back and awkwardly turned her back to him. 

"Mommy, help him please.. you said it's dangerous if it bleeds right?" Yoogeun asked and Krystal slowly nodded her head. "I will wash my hands.. hyung?" Yoogeun called and Minho turned his attention towards the child. "Yes?" Minho asked. "Let my mommy heal you.. she's the best" Yoogeun said and Minho smiled before nodding his head. 

I know, he thought.

"A-Alright.." Minho answered and Yooguen tiptoed at the sink and quickly washed his hands. "Mommy, I will play outside first" Yoogeun said and Krystal reluctantly nodded her head as she watched her son go out again. "I.." Krystal trailed trying to find the right words to say and noticing the uncomfortable tone from her Minho faked a smile. "I can do this.. it doesn't hurt that much" Minho said and Krystal sighed. 

"Let me get some first aid box.. you stay here" Krystal said and Minho can't do anything but to nod his head. Seeing her go back with the kit in her hands, Krystal opened the box and geltny tilted Minho's head to the side. "Is.. it deep?" He asked and Krystal stopped poking his wound before shaking her head. "No, jsut some light scratches" Krystal answered and silcence filled the place, it wasn't good to begin with, it was ucomfortable, awkward, cold.. and Minho hated it. 

"Your son.. he's.. handsome" Minho suddenly spoke out of nowhere and Krystal stopped cleaning his wound only to resume again. "Thanks" She answered and Minho sighed, he knew where this was heading, he knew right at that moment that she hated him and he won't say anything about it, he won't complain anything about it. It's his fault after all. 

"I.." Minho trailed. "I'm sorry.." Minho said and Krystal stopped and retreated her hands before giving him a questioning look. "For what?" She asked and Minho sighed. "For everything, for taking you away from your family, for making your life a living hell, for taking you for granted, for mistreating you, for doubting you, for being such a failed.. a failed man to you.. and.. for.." Minho trailed, he felt like his words were trapped in his throat and it won't come out. 

"For trying to kill me?" Krystal asked and Minho looked away before slowly nodding his head. "I won't make excuses.. I should have known better. I know. I was wrong to get mad at you at that time.. I was the one who's wrong. I'm the one at fault" Minho said and Krystal sighed. "It's partly my fault too for falling for you" Krystal said and Minho felt his heart clench. 

"How are you and Onew?" Minho asked out of nowhere and Krystal gave him a confused look. "How's your life with him?" Minho asked and Krystal sighed. "I don't get you.." she said and Minho took a deep breath. "After.. what.. happened five years ago. Didn't he ask you to be with him? Aren't you two married now? Isn't the boy his child?" Minho asked bravely and Krystal frowned. "We're not.. we're not married. I'm not even with someone" Krystal said and Minho furrowed his brows. 

"Then that child.." Minho trailed. "How old is he?" He asked and Krystal kept shut. 

"Krystal.. I'm asking" He said and Krystal didn't speak. "Is he.. " Minho trailed. 

"Mine?" He continued and Krystal looked straight into his eyes, a frown visible on her face. "What made you think so?" Krystal asked and Minho shut his mouth. "I'm sorry" He said and Krystal sighed. 

"Why can't I just hate you?" She heard her mutter and he smiled a little. "Maybe because.. you still love me?" He asked and Krystal turned her attention back to him. "I heard you" He said and Krystal sighed. "Just forget about it" Krystal said before putting everything back inside the box again but before she can even take a step away from him, Minho grabbed her wrist and stared at her. 

"Let me go" Krystal said and Minho sighed. 

"Will it be wrong if I'm going to be selfish for the last time?" He asked, his eyes still focused on her. "Let me go.. please" Krystal said pressing the last word and Minho sighed. "Tell me you hate me and tell me that you don't love me anymore. I will let you go nd never appear in front of you again" Minho said while looking straight onto her eyes and Krystal opened and tried to say what he demanded her to say but failed. 

"I.. do I really have to say all of it?" Krystal asked and Minho smiled before nodding his head. "Yeah, say it all. Confidently. Then I promise to let you go and never.. ever.. bother you again" He said and Krystal sighed. "I can't" Krystal said and his smile grew wider.

"Then.." Minho trailed. 

"But that doesn't mean that I won't despise you.. not when you tried to kill me and your son" Krystal said but then stopped when she realized what she just. "H-He's.. H-He's really m-my.. son?" Minho asked and Krystal clenched her fist. "Who else would it be then huh? Do you think I go sleep around with men other--" 

"I think you talk too much" Minho said as he leaned in and kissed her. Kissing back, Krystal felt tears threatening to fall from her eyes and cry she did. Feeling this, Minho pulled away and looked at her worriedly. "Is there something wrong?" He asked before cupping her cheeks and Krystal sighed before wiping her tears away and shaking her head. 

"No, it's nothing.." Krystal said and Minho smiled as he hugged her tight. 

"I'm sorry.. about everything. But please.. please let me make it up to you and our son? Please give me a chance to be a father to him and be a good husband to you?" Minho asked as he kneeled in front of her and Krystal looked at him in surprised. "What.." She trailed and Minho took a deep breath before continuing again. 

"I know I'm not worthy of your love.. I'm sorry if I did mistakes before but please.. I know I don't have a ring or anything with me now but please do know that I'm offering my heart right now. Forgive me.. start a new life with me? Let me make up everything I did in the past? Please.. give me a chance? Be my.. Please be my wife?" Minho asked with sincerity and Krystal cried even more. Five years is a long time already, she already forgive him and maybe it's not bad to give a chance for the last time. 

It wouldn't hurt right? Right. 

"Y-Yes" Krystal said and Minho stood up before hugging her. 

"Thank you.. thank you for giving me another chance" Minho said and Krystal hugged him back. 

"If that means having you in my life for eternity.. then I will gladly give you a thousand chances"  

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A/N: Sorry if this took me so long to post. It's my first time writing something angsty like this. Who wants a sequel? Tell me :D 

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