Kyungsoo fidgets in his heavy robes and then stills when his mother shoots him a Look. But the party has been going on for hours, and Kyungsoo can’t join in on the fun, as it would be unseemly for a prince to get drunk and laugh at his friends—it’s unseemly for a prince to do much of anything, really. And if Kyungsoo is going to sit and do nothing, he might as well retire to his room. He’s tired of watching everyone have fun without him. If only his father would dismiss him. But the King can do as he pleases, and he is pleasantly drunk and roaring with laughter at the court clowns. It’s certainly unseemly, but that’s because the King is old and retiring soon, he can do anything without fear now.

The King wasn’t always like this. Kyungsoo remembers when he had been a warrior, a strong man who could carry both his sons around on his shoulders. He did this often, as his sons were his pride and joy. Seungsoo had been the prized heir, and Kyungsoo the darling of the court. But the accident that left Seungsoo’s legs paralyzed and the years of campaigning since then have drained the king. Kyungsoo softens under that thought, knowing that his father worked so hard to secure the kingdom because he didn’t want to leave a mess to his sons. Then his father belches loudly, and Kyungsoo has to fight back a gag, all pity forgotten.

“Why do you look so glum, my boy?” The King booms, leaning towards Kyungsoo and spilling his cup on the floor. The queen rolls her eyes.

“I’m tired,” Kyungsoo says stiffly, trying not to move his lips so much. The entire court is watching. “And this robe itches.”

His father laughs again. “Oh my son, you will someday be king! Don’t mind propriety, for soon you will decide what is proper!”

“Why don’t we have some entertainment?” The queen asks loudly. She points to the magician, but the King cuts her off.

“Why not pick some entertainment that the Prince would enjoy?” He asks, with an exaggerated wink at his son. “What do you say?”

Kyungsoo was afraid that it would come to this. It’s another reason he wanted to leave sooner. He knows what his father wants, what the whole court wants, and though he’s reluctant to allow Kai to dance for them, he doesn’t want to cause a scene. Kyungsoo’s personal servant is sitting at his feet, his face perfectly blank in spite of the headache he complained of earlier. Kai is famous in the court for his dancing first, his beauty second, and his mysterious aura third. Part of the mystery is due to the fact that Kyungsoo rarely lets Kai out of his sight.

Kyungsoo bends and lets his lips brush Kai’s ear. “Will you dance for us?”

Kai nods, and Kyungsoo removes Kai’s light cloak. The entire hall sighs when Kai stands. His hair falls just slightly over his eyes, and his cheeks and arms have been lightly brushed with a powder made from crushed mother-of-pearl and gold, giving his skin a lovely glow. He’s dressed in silver tonight, a cloth that was very difficult to procure. It flows like mercury, enhancing his every movement as he descends from the dais. His shirt hangs lose, barely covering anything at all, and his pants are loose in the thighs but wrapped tight around his calves. There’s not an inch of him that isn’t glowing in the light.

Kyungsoo motions for the lights to be dimmed, and the court catches it’s breath. The moonlight is stronger now, but there’s enough golden light from the torches to cast a yellow glow on Kai’s clothing. He whispers to the musicians, and they begin to play a much different tune. Kai flows gracefully to the center of the room, and then begins his dance.

Kyungsoo has never seen Kai perform the same dance twice. There are some that are similar, but he is always adding something to his routines—Kyungsoo would know, because he never looks away when Kai dances. Nobody does, Kai is not known as the best dancer in the kingdom for nothing. He twirls and leaps, arches and bends, tumbles artfully and executes his moves with a fluid-like grace that leaves the court breathless. His eyes are bright with passion and concentration, and there’s not a hint of pain on his face. Kyungsoo is so very proud of him.

Kyungsoo hears a vague murmur ripple through the crowd, and he catches a few words that make him stiffen—allusions to Kai’s flexibility and body—and the frown on his face is enough to make them quiet. But Kyungsoo is always aware of the risks. He rests his fingertips on the hilt of the dagger under his cloak; an insurance policy should someone get the wrong idea about what it is Kai does.

When Kai stills, the whole court erupts with applause. He bows deeply towards the dais, and then again toward the crowd. Then Kyungsoo motions for an armed guard to take Kai away.

“One dance?” The King chuckles. “Kyungsoo, you must show him off more often. You paid too much for that boy not to.”

Kyungsoo frowns again and pretends he hasn’t heard. He doesn’t like discussing how much he paid for Kai. But within the next few minutes the King has fallen over in a deep sleep, and Kyungsoo and his mother sigh as they’re finally released from the party.

Kyungsoo doesn’t go to his room right away—instead he picks up a light wine and some honeyed bread to take to his brother. Seungsoo is awake, writing furiously.

“You should rest,” Kyungsoo scolds him. “Your mind needs to take a break every now and then.”

Seungsoo smiles and holds out his arms. Kyungsoo hugs him tightly, careful not to push his wheeled chair out of place.

“I slept late today,” Seungsoo says. “I’m alright. And if I’m supposed to be resting, why did you bring me food?”

Kyungsoo ignores his brother’s too-right question places a hand on his knee. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine, fine. The doctors came and helped me stretch today.”

Seungsoo gets treatment for his legs once every three days, and the activities the doctors help him perform are to keep his legs healthy and strong, as well as to keep him from gaining too much weight. Since he is paralyzed but knowledgeable about Kingship, and Kyungsoo is mobile and only half as knowledgeable, the two of them will be partner-kings, an unusual solution but the most practical one. Seungsoo will never see battle again, but he won’t have to, thanks to their father’s work.

“Father was drunk again tonight,” Kyungsoo blurts. “He fell asleep in his throne.”

Seungsoo winces. “It’s only because—”

“He was such a great man,” Kyungsoo interrupts. “But if he keeps it up the court will only remember him as a fool. Why can’t he just hold himself together?”

Seungsoo sighs. “It’s a disease of the mind. He can’t stop, now that he’s started. Don’t get yourself worked up over it, dear brother.”

“But—”

“Kyungsoo, go to Kai,” Seungsoo says firmly. “You’ll do yourself no good like this. Don’t worry about father. Have the night off, we’ll talk more in the morning.”

So Kyungsoo leaves. In truth, he doesn’t need much encouragement to return to his room and to Kai. Life probably would have been so much more unbearable without him, and for about the hundredth time in the last three years, Kyungsoo thinks that the price he paid to get Kai into the court was well worth it, no matter what anyone may tell him.

Kyungsoo was eighteen when the circus came to perform at the castle. They were supposed to be the best performers in the kingdom, and the King wanted to see them. The performance was lovely, but Kyungsoo had eyes only for the young dancer in the troupe. He was so beautiful, and already an amazing performer, even Kyungsoo, who had no training in dance, could see his brilliance. He wasn’t perfect by any means, but he had flashes of perfection, and with the right training he could have been amazing. And Kyungsoo decided that he needed to be amazing. So when the troupe was getting ready to leave, Kyungsoo asked his father if the King could order the young boy to stay behind. He had said no.

“You’ll be King someday alongside your brother. I’m not going to issue this order on your behalf. If you want something, go after it yourself. You are a Prince, Kyungsoo, you can do that. Decide what this boy is worth to you.”

So Kyungsoo went by himself to the young boy. He was by the stables, admiring the horses.

“Hello.”

The boy startled and bowed deeply.

“What’s your name?”

“Kai,” the boy said in a whisper.

“How old are you?”

“Seventeen.”

Kyungsoo had thought he was much younger than that.

“Do you like being part of the circus? Answer honestly.”

Kai had hesitated. “No.”

And that was all the encouragement Kyungsoo needed. He told Kai to take him to the circus’ master. Kai didn’t ask any questions, and later he would admit that he was too afraid, and took Kyungsoo to where the troupe was packing to leave. Kyungsoo wasted no time with small talk.

“I want this boy to stay here.”

The circus master had been incredulous. “He is my best performer.” He leered at Kai. “And I paid quite a pretty price for him.”

Kai had shuddered, and Kyungsoo’s resolve only grew stronger. “How much did you pay for him?” He never liked talking about people as though they were objects, but he didn’t let his discomfort show.

“Four hundred gold coins,” the circus master said haughtily.

Kyungsoo stifled a laugh. The necklace he wore was worth more than that. So he smiled, and said, “I will give you four thousand if you release him to me now.”

Needless to say, a deal was made. Kyungsoo had the money brought, counted before the circus master’s eyes, and then Kai was sent to get his belongings. Within the hour, he was in Kyungsoo’s room. Kyungsoo would never forget the wild confusion on Kai’s face that day.

The first thing Kyungsoo did was have Kai bathed and measured for new clothing. He had been treated fairly well in the circus, though he was bruised and cut up from small accidents. But his feet were the worst—he hadn’t owned any shoes in years, and he danced barefoot, which only made things worse. So Kyungsoo ordered a doctor to begin treatment for the wounds, some of them many years old, with utmost care. The treatment would last months, but when the initial care was done with, Kyungsoo had food and drink brought to his room, and he finally ordered everyone to leave him and Kai alone. Kai, newly bathed, dressed, and cared for, had stared at him in fearful awe.

“I know you may have a hard time believing this,” Kyungsoo had told Kai, “But you’re not going to be a slave. That’s not why I…why I bought you.” He knew Kai didn’t believe him, and he added, “There’s a difference between slaves and servants. Servants have talent, and status. They receive payment. The highest status among servants is a personal servant to a member of the royal family. That’s what you’re going to be, my personal servant.”

Kai’s expression changed from suspicious to curious. Kyungsoo asked him to speak freely, and Kai asked, “What would your highness have me do?”

“Dance,” Kyungsoo answered. “I’ll have someone teach you—someone better than what you have had in the past.”

Kai shook his head. “The circus told me they had the best.”

Kyungsoo had grinned. “There is always someone better when royalty asks for them.” He then went on to explain more, “You’ll have better clothes and food. And when I’m king alongside my brother, you’ll have even more than that. Your own rooms, your own servants. And you’ll have payment.”

Kai’s eyes had gone wide at that, and Kyungsoo knew he didn’t believe it. So he took off his necklace and put it around Kai’s neck.

“It’s worth five hundred gold coins,” Kyungsoo said. “And it’s not even the finest in my possession. Take it, it’s my gift to you.”

Kai had been stunned. “You don’t just want me to dance, do you? You find me desirable.”

Caught, Kyungsoo could only nod. “But I would never force you.”

Kai had been silent for a long time. He stood there, nervously the necklace. Then, he quietly requested to have his own room. Kyungsoo agreed, and after several weeks in which Kai was given the best clothing, food, and teachers in the kingdom—and the space and time to absorb it all—he seemed to finally believe that he wasn’t an ordinary servant, and he opened up to Kyungsoo.

“Kai isn’t my real name, but it’s what I prefer to be known by when I perform. My real name is Jongin, and I would like it if…if you called me by my real name when we’re alone. In addition, I would like to set…boundaries.”

Kyungsoo readily agreed.

Jongin had been nervous to speak, it showed in his eyes, but his tone was firm. “Dancing isn’t easy. It takes a lot out of me, and leaves me drained. I know you desire me, and…and I would let you have me. You’re different from the others who have wanted me, your patience and willingness to give me space has shown me that. But you must promise never to ask to have with me after I dance.”

And it was a promise Kyungsoo has kept for three years. He would have never forced Jongin to do anything he didn’t want to anyway, that’s not who he is. Jongin is a treasured and beloved friend, but for as long as Kyungsoo is a Prince, he and Jongin are subjected to the whims of the King and the court. Soon though, soon they will have more freedom.

When Kyungsoo gets to his rooms, Jongin is waiting. He has already bathed and relaxed after his show, and he rises fluidly from the bed and greets Kyungsoo with a soft kiss.

“I am sorry about that,” Kyungsoo says, pressing his lips to Jongin’s forehead. “I knew I shouldn’t have brought you with me.”

Jongin smiles and shakes his head. “It’s alright. I had been away for too long. People would have talked.”

They already talk, and it’s talk Kyungsoo can’t afford. People think he was too willful, spending so much money on a servant. And it had been a great amount, not even a pleasure slave could fetch such a high price. But Kyungsoo would have paid five time that price to free Jongin from the life he faced in the circus. In the meantime Kyungsoo and Jongin have to prove to the court that the investment had been worth it. But Kyungsoo loathes having to share Jongin—no, Kai, he was Kai when he danced—with the rest of the court. He hates the looks in their eyes, the smiles they subject Kai to when he dances.

Once, Jongin had nearly been kidnapped after a performance. He had been on his way to Kyungsoo’s room for a well-deserved rest, and a Lord tried to drag him off. It had been lucky that a guard heard his screams and rescued him. The Lord had been sentenced to death, and since the Lord had been single and childless, Kyungsoo had seized his wealth for himself. Rather, he had all the money gathered from the man’s possessions hidden away, so  it would be safe. He would be turning it over to Jongin at the earliest possible moment. But he knew nothing could make up for what Jongin had gone through. Kai may have been able to shrug off unwanted stares, but not even the stage persona could help Jongin through that. Since then, Kyungsoo has made sure to keep Jongin by his side unless he’s dancing, and if he can’t be there then an armed guard is. As a servant, Jongin is not permitted to have a weapon, so Kyungsoo carries one for him.

But when Kyungsoo is crowned King, nobody will be able to order him to make Kai perform in front of the court. Jongin could decide if and when he wanted to become Kai the dancer, and it would be his choice alone. And nobody would be allowed to look at Kai like that ever again.

That’s why Kyungsoo has kept the name ‘Jongin’ locked in his room. Even in his own head, he refuses to think the name outside of his private quarters. Jongin is Jongin, and Kai is Kai, they are different. Kai is Kyungsoo’s servant. Jongin is his treasured friend, and lover.

Jongin nuzzles under Kyungsoo’s jaw, dragging him from his thoughts. “I’m more sorry for you,” he whispers into Kyungsoo’s skin. “How will you entertain yourself tonight?”

Kyungsoo sighs. “Oh, there are other ways.” He holds out his arms to his sides. “Help me get out of this, will you?”

Jongin’s hands find the hidden dagger first. He cradles it in his hands, and smiles at Kyungsoo. The same smile that he gives Kyungsoo when he receives an unexpected compliment or kiss, one that says, ‘I’m always surprised by how much you care for me.’ He places the dagger almost reverently on Kyungsoo’s dressing table, and shows much less care when he rids Kyungsoo of his clothing, somehow losing his own shirt in the process. Kyungsoo’s breath catches in his throat when he sees that Jongin has put his piercings back in. The gold and diamond rings glisten on his chest and belly. When Kyungsoo had realized how sensitive Jongin’s s were, he had suggested the piercings off-handedly. He hadn’t expected Jongin to be so enthusiastic about them. The naval piercing though, that had been Jongin’s own idea.

“You’re such a tease,” Kyungsoo accuses.

Jongin feigns ignorance. “They look pretty. That’s all.”

Kyungsoo sighs heavily, and jumps when Jongin takes the opportunity to kiss him again, pressing his body close against Kyungsoo’s. Kyungsoo melts against him, opening his mouth for Jongin’s tongue. Jongin looks guilty when he leans back.

“Maybe I should have refused to dance,” he says quietly. “I really am tired, but I was looking forward to tonight, too.”

Kyungsoo smiles at him. “There will be other nights, love.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t bother with a bath, merely choosing to wipe down with a wet cloth and wash his face. Jongin waits for him, artfully arranged on the bed. He’s long stopped sleeping in his own room, though he still has one. When Kyungsoo changes into his sleepwear (pants only, Jongin keeps him warm enough), he joins Jongin on the bed.

Sometimes he forgets that Jongin is a year younger than him. Jongin has such a youthful face, but such an old body. His waist frequently bothers him, as do his ankles. Kyungsoo eases Jongin onto his stomach, and straddles his thighs.

“I must be the only man who can get a Prince to give him a massage,” Jongin laughs. He cuts off with a pleased gasp when Kyungsoo’s fingers kneed his back.

“Don’t flatter yourself, I used to do this for my brother all the time.”

“Were you both half ?”

Kyungsoo taps Jongin’s , just hard enough to tell him to stop mouthing off. Jongin falls silent, but his grin speaks volumes.

Kyungsoo traces his fingers lightly up Jongin’s spine, and Jongin shivers and gasps. Kyungsoo does it again, and again, not for the reaction, simply because he does love to touch. Jongin has such lovely, smooth skin. Golden in the sunlight and silver in the moonlight, unblemished except by a few stray marks from Kyungsoo’s nails. He recalls a few months ago when Jongin had an intricate design painted onto his back and chest for a festival. Kyungsoo had ordered a special paint, not made of gold but a damn good likeness of it, for the occasion. Kyungsoo had made sure that nobody ordered a dance from Kai, because he wanted Jongin to himself that night. The lovely design had looked even better when it was smudged with sweat, smearing traces onto Kyungsoo’s own skin. The only downside was not getting to taste Jongin’s skin the way he normally did, as the paint was not meant for ingestion.

But tonight there is no reason why Kyungsoo can’t lean down and press his lips gently to the dimples in Jongin’s back.

Jongin squirms and whines, “What are you doing?”

But Kyungsoo holds him steady, and whispers a prayer for healing against Jongin’s waist. Jongin freezes, and when Kyungsoo moves off of him, he sees that there are tears in Jongin’s eyes.

“You are so kind to me,” he says softly.

Kyungsoo runs his fingers through Jongin’s hair and kisses him. “No less than what you deserve. You are so very precious to me.”

Jongin smiles that lovely smile again, and snuggles into Kyungsoo’s embrace. “You’re precious to me, too.”

It could have been so different. Jongin could have easily saw Kyungsoo as a Master to be feared, a Prince to be obeyed, but when he saw just how much respect Kyungsoo had for him, he found a friend. And Kyungsoo could have easily pushed Jongin’s boundaries, simply because he was the Prince. But Kyungsoo didn’t want to be a Master or a Prince, he wanted Jongin to think of him as a man first, before anything else. And in coming to understand each other, they had found a deep bond. Kyungsoo had talked it over with Seungsoo, and both of them had agreed that Seungsoo’s children would be the heirs to the kingdom. He was engaged to a lovely Princess, one who didn’t treat him any less for his injury but instead saw a brave soldier, and he would marry her after the coronation. That left Kyungsoo free from the pressure to marry and have children of his own. He couldn’t marry Jongin, he wasn’t of royal blood and nobody would stand for it. But nobody could stop him from taking Jongin to his bed every night, nor force his attention elsewhere. No, it would always be like this—better, even, when they had more freedom.

Kyungsoo stands and goes to his dressing table, returning with a small box. “No reason we can’t celebrate a different way,” he says as he hands the box to Jongin.

Jongin looks at it with wide eyes. “You didn’t have to…”

Kyungsoo grins at him. “Of course I did. My love, do you know how happy it makes me to give you nice things? And on a day like this, how could I not?”

Jongin takes the box and opens it with trembling fingers. He gasps, “Kyungsoo…”

The anklet is made of sturdy golden links, and fourteen uncut rubies dangle from the chain. Kyungsoo lifts it from the box and fastens it on Jongin’s right leg. He finishes with a kiss pressed to the inside of Jongin’s knee.

“Happy birthday, love.”

Jongin looks at him in awe. “Kyungsoo, really, I can’t…”

“Yes you can,” Kyungsoo insists. “Of course you can. And don’t you dare think I’m done. Do you know how much gold jewelry goes to waste in this castle? Look at how beautiful this piece is, it deserves to be worn.”

“But your birthday, I didn’t…”

“You danced for me,” Kyungsoo reminds him. “I have so much, I don’t need material goods. Jongin, you mesmerize and amaze me. Getting to see you every day is enough of a gift for me, but you danced for me. It was a lovely gift.”

Jongin blushes and sits up to kiss Kyungsoo soundly. “We should sleep,” Jongin murmurs against Kyungsoo’s lips. “You have nowhere to be, tomorrow morning. We’ll have several hours to ourselves.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t know that he’s ever been more excited to go to sleep.

This started out a lot sm*ttier than it ended up being, as is the case with a lot of my stuff these days.

OH WELL