I hate it.

I hate it when mom always tells me off.
Telling me how wonderful Bom is doing in college even if it's just her first year in or how she has a boyfriend already who is said to be very handsome and very well mannered… Oh, and how she feels so happy that her eldest daughter, Yeoreum, had finally given her her first ever grandchild.
I hate it how she always manages to make me feel unwanted or unworthy for anyone. And most of all... I hate it how she never seems to get tired of reminding me...

"Oh honey! You should've seen how perfect they were for each other! I witnessed it when Lay, your sister's boyfriend, walked her home the other night. He was carrying her bag for her...."

I kept my mouth shut while mom continued to talk. I was currently reaching for my pills on the top shelf of my medicine cabinet when something she said caught my attention.

"...You should find someone like Lay, so that you'll never have to face another heart break again..."

I felt the glass bottle slip out of my hands just when I got if out of the medicine cabinet. It made a loud crashing sound as it collided against the white tilled floor of the bathroom.

"Gaeul-ah! What happened? Are you okay?!" my mom asked frantically on the other line of the phone.
"I'm okay mom." I responded even though I wasn’t in my best mood to talk to her.
"Thank goodness. I thought you had your attacks again."

Yeah, thanks to you, my lovely mother. I think I'm about to have one.

I sighed as I walked out of the bathroom careful to not step on any pieces of the broken glass. I brought back a broom and a dustpan from the other room to clean up the mess. Good thing the bottle wasn’t that big or I could have had some shards of it stuck to the pads of my feet.
"Gaeul-ah..." my mom called out on the other line contemplation and sadness laced her tone.
"Yes mom?"

"Kyeoul is getting married."

I suddenly felt my breath hitch up my throat as both my hands curl themselves up into fists. My eyes glanced at my reflection in the mirror… If someone were to see me right now they might even point out the fact that I looked as if I had just seen a ghost. A wave of realization hit me. I really wish that I hadn't dropped the bottle of pills earlier because I really needed them right now.
Even if I hadn’t said anything as a response my mom just took it as a cue to just continue, "-And she asked if you could be here when it happens....-"
I could hear my mom’s soft breathing, and I wished I could do the same… But I can't.
Slowly the tone of mom’s voice became rather higher than usual"-... and I know somethings happened in the past but we're still a family Gaeul. Your dad and I hope that, as your parents, you would consider Kyeoul’s invitation. And her fiancé also wishes to meet the whole family before everything takes place.."
There was a sudden commotion on the other end of the line and then suddenly my mom's voice was replaced by my dad's. "Gaeul-ah please give your sister a chance, I'm sure she's very sorry for what she has done and..."
So, I was on speaker? I wonder if she's also there...
I covered my ears. I didn’t want to hear any more of this. They're so far away from me but... Why must they pull me into this guilt trip?

"It's okay Dad...Mom...-" Right then and there I finally I caught my breath. So I took a lungful of air and continued without thinking...

"-... I eloped."

I heard the sound of the phone drop.