Lying in bed at seven in the morning, I could hear the birds chirping loudly outside my window. Abba was still asleep and it was completely silent. It was moments like these that I really missed my mom. She was a morning person and would always wake early to make breakfast and do some chores around the house. It didn't matter what time I would wake up, she would already be busy in the kitchen and I loved dragging myself downstairs to get a morning hug. Sometimes when we would sleep in too late she would wake us up before leaving for work around ten am.

            After she had passed away in that horrible car accident, Abba had taken over her routine. He would wake up early, make breakfast, pack my school lunch and make sure I wasn't late for school. I knew this was quite hard for him because he was less of a morning person than I was. That's why as I got older I had started making my own lunch the night before. Weekends weren't a problem because we liked sleeping in and then prepare the food together around brunch time. But sometimes, like today, it just couldn't be helped that I missed her. Abba did a great job raising me on his own, but at times I just wish I could talk to Eomma. Sometimes I wish I could wake up to her soft humming while she was getting ready for work, but I didn't even remember her voice anymore.

            This made me wonder how Jun must feel when he couldn't sleep in that big house. Is that why he liked being at my house so much because he always felt lonely? It had felt so empty even though they had so many people working there. Maybe it was because they were all very formal and distant, only interested in doing their jobs and getting paid. I felt bad for Jun, I really did. I couldn't imagine the type of life he was living with his mother not there and his father still so busy with work. I could see his dad was a good person and wanted a better relationship with him, but he had to try a lot harder to make up for his absence in Jun's life in the past.

            I got up and checked if I had received any messages on my phone as I quietly crept downstairs, trying not to wake up Abba. He had a performance later today and I wanted him to be well-rested for that. I was so excited to see his performance, it had been a while since I had seen one. He usually performed at night and because I would have school the next day, I couldn't always go with him unless it was in the weekends. Luckily, this time Abba's piano concert wasn't too late in the evening. We'd be back early, hence Abba allowed me to go with him since I promised I would definitely wake up in time for school tomorrow.

            I wasn't sure what to do, I didn't want to watch TV because all the shows that aired this early were just stupid. It was either cartoons for little kids or boring workout shows. I hated sweating and I got plenty of workout riding my bike to school and back.

I felt a little chilly after getting out of the warm comfort of my bed and felt the need to turn up the heaters a little. Not having much else to do after that, I just threw myself on the couch and started looking up K-pop songs that I had heard at Jun’s place. He was always so updated with everything in the music and entertainment industry that it was quite impressive and sorrowful to think about at the same time. His dreams were so obvious and in his case it wasn’t even that he didn’t have what it takes to become an idol artist. He had it all, except of the freedom to walk down that path.

I sighed as I stared at the screen of my phone, wondering whether I should message him. I puckered my lips as I gave it a good thought, but in the end I decided against it thinking that he could be asleep and I didn’t want to wake him up just because I suddenly had the urge to hear his voice. I dragged myself off the couch and left my phone there before I headed to the kitchen. I yawned, still a little sleepy, and opened the fridge to see it almost being empty.

“Well,” I mused, “I guess this calls for some grocery shopping,” I mumbled on to myself as I planned to go out for the errand later when Abba would start practicing for his performance. I reckoned that we had enough ingredients for breakfast for now at least and closed the fridge to head back upstairs for a shower. I couldn’t get through a day without starting it off with a warm shower, because otherwise I would tend to feel tired and groggy for the entire day. I guess it just kind of helped to wake me up properly, and not to forget it’d keep me from feeling nasty and dirty too because I took hygiene rather seriously. After the shower I was stood in front of the steamed up mirror with a towel wrapped around myself, looking at my face from side to side.

“Aish, my face is all dry,” I complained to myself whilst applying face cream to it, giving myself a mental reminder to check for something more moisturising when I go grocery shopping later. Soon after that I got dressed and went downstairs to fix up an easy and quick breakfast for me and Abba out of whatever we had left. I ended up making egg on bread and sautéed sausages on the side and there were still a couple of fruits left too. Abba came down just in time as I was serving the food up on our plates and straight away made his way to his seat at the dining table, looking more than ready to dig in.

“Mmmm, as always, breakfast smells delicious,” Abba smiled happily, “Good morning Minhee.”

"G'morning Abba," I smiled back although I knew he couldn't see me. I was sure that he'd know that I'd have a grin plastered across my face, he knew me enough to sense my emotions like that. I guess that was one thing no other dad had the ability to do, mine was just special like that.

"Sorry, this was all I could find in the fridge. I'll be going grocery shopping later." I sat down opposite Abba at the table before we both dug in.

"Oh," Abba seemed surprised, "I didn't even realise…”

"Don't worry about it Abba, you've been busy with your performances and practices," I waved it off casually, because honestly I didn't like Abba running errands like these. I would willingly always rush to shop for things that we needed before he ever got the chance to because I would worry that he could get lost or hurt when crossing busy roads. Not everyone was considerate of pedestrians around our area and accidents seemed to be common. I just felt much more assured taking care of these things myself. Besides, running errands with my bike was faster and kind of fun for me whenever I was bored at home anyway.

"Minhee, how was it at Jun's place yesterday?" Abba asked curiously.

"Um…" I mumbled after biting into my bread, "It was huge and luxurious, just how I kind of imagine it to be."

"I reckoned so too, but I meant did you have fun?" He corrected.

"Of course, I mean I finally got to give Jun a slight makeover and cut down that mop of his!" I responded more enthusiastically as the fun memories returned. "He looks much more improved now."

"I see…" Abba mused, "That's great then. I'm glad you're helping him boost his confidence because that kid has a real talent and more than enough reason to be proud of himself."

I nodded seriously in utter agreement, just loving the fact how both Abba and Jun mutually admired and respected aspects of each other.

"Minhee, do you like Jun?"

I almost choked on my food upon hearing that question and grabbed my glass of water to help swallow it down. My face had gotten really red as I became flustered and uncomfortable, unsure how to answer him. I wasn't used to lying to Abba, because he could see right through me although he had no actual sight. Still, I was glad he couldn't see me blushing this badly right now.

"Are you okay?" Abba looked concerned as he cautiously picked up the water bottle on the table and poured some more into my glass."You should eat slowly."

"Y-yeah, I should… I think it went down the wrong pipe," I laughed nervously, desperately trying to change the topic.

Abba just laughed at my clumsiness as he continued to eat, either forgetting about the question he had asked or he had decided to drop it after noticing my weird reaction to it. I had a bad feeling that it was the latter, but I pushed it out of my head seeing that I was glad enough that he let it go at least.

After we finished with eating, we washed up the plates and cutlery and I headed out to the grocery store to fill up our fridge again while Abba started his piano practice.

When I arrived at the store, barely two streets away, I got off my bike and locked it against a nearby bike stand. I was walking towards the store entrance, mentally chanting a list of all the things I needed to buy, when I heard a familiar voice and found Song Yoori. She was outside the store, eating bought sandwiches with her friends and loudly complaining about her current issues.

"My mom had to pay for my nose because my dad lost his damn job. I can't believe he could be this irresponsible," she huffed in irritation as her friends nodded along sympathetically. "I'm thinking of going with my mom if my parents separate since my dad is only holding us back now."

It was then that I realised that Yoori wasn't exactly as rich as I had imagined, and probably far worse in nature that I figured before. Not really caring about it any further (although the part about the nose surgery did come as an amusing surprise), I casually walked on and saw her eyes widen in shock when she noticed me. I nodded towards her as a brief greeting, since after all we somewhat knew each other, and walked into the store. I wasn't really sure what to think of it because it wasn't exactly like I knew what her issues really were. But talking disrespectfully about your own father just because he couldn't pay for her nose-job was despicable and plain wrong. Jun sure knows how to pick his girls. I sighed at the sarcastic thought whilst I walked down the aisles, grabbing vegetables, meat and not to forget, Jun's favourite green apples. I also made sure to check out some of the new moisturisers on discount and picked one that I saw a lot in TV advertisements. I knew I was only drawn to it the most because this particular product was advertised by one of Jun's favourite female idols who'd pose with it with her glowing smooth skin. This crap better work on me too then.

I was almost ready to check out at the till but remembered that I should probably grab a few snacks for me and Abba for the journey to his performance. Abba had a chauffeur to drive him to his performances, but often we liked to travel together on our own with the train or bus. But no matter which method we felt like, it would never be complete without a bunch of snacks. Abba liked nibbling on salted seaweed snacks, because it somehow helped him keep calm whenever he got a little nervous before the performances. He rarely became nervous anymore though, it was more like a habit to eat snacks on our way there now in case we got hungry.

While I was selecting a few to take with us, I suddenly felt someone stopping beside me and glanced over to see Yoori staring at me with a serious expression. Song Yoori?

"You heard it wrong," she said, confusing me a little. I heard what wrong?

I blinked at her as she talked, only thinking about how I didn't really care whether she was rich or not, or about her being unhappy with her dad for not working for her luxury treatments. It had nothing to do with me, although I insanely wished that Jun wouldn't like someone like this but that feeling was never any different anyway even before I came to know all this.

"You heard it wrong, about my nose," she repeated, "I fell during dance practice because I'm planning to audition as an idol, and broke it."

Ohhh. So it was her nose that she was worried about. Knowing her dad had some background in the entertainment industry I wasn't surprised that she also aimed to be an idol, but it was also somehow irritating. I was in denial that it had anything to do with Jun having a similar life ambition as her.

"Ah I see…” I simply responded with a blank look on my face, not sure what else I was supposed to say to that. I wasn't even sure why she had to come up and explain all this to me in the first place.

"Oh? Yoo Jun didn't come with you?" she suddenly asked as she looked around, startling me a little. It kind of bothered me that she was asking about him and wondered why Yoori needed to know that. This was literally the first time she was talking to me, and now she was also showing interest in Jun?

"I'm a little busy today so I won't be meeting with him," I answered politely anyway.

"Oh? Really…” She mused a bit thoughtfully, "He looks a lot better now."

Now that made my heart go out of rhythm for a second and I stared at her. How the heck did she know that he changed his appearance when we hadn't even been to school yet?

"He uploaded a picture online on his SNS," Yoori continued before I could even answer.

"Eh?!" my eyebrows lifted sky-high in disbelief as I gave myself a few seconds to understand what she was saying. Jun, the Yoo Jun that I knew since forever, had an SNS account?! We've always stayed away from social networking sites like that because we had agreed that they were just simply uncomfortable and meaningless. Suddenly hearing that he had a profile online and was even putting up pictures of himself was something I couldn't get my head around. It wasn't even the fact that he decided to debut in the world of SNS, but it was because he hadn't even told me anything about it.

"Maybe I should send a friend request since we're in the same class after all," she thought out loud, making it worse while I was still in the midst of being in shock. "Anyway, I gotta go. The thing we were talking about earlier… I hope it won't be going around school or anything."

It somehow sounded more like a threat than a simple comment, although she was sweetly smiling as she walked away and out of the store. I hurriedly pulled out my phone after she left and looked up Jun's account. My mouth was wide open as I stared at his profile, shocked that Yoori was indeed telling the truth. Instantly, fury erupted as I thought about how he actually had the nerve not to say a single word about this to me. I angrily threw some random snacks into my basket, smacking each of them down violently and causing a few heads to turn in disturbance. I went ahead to pay for the items hastily and carried everything to my bike before punching in Jun's number onto my phone to call him. "Huh?! He's not picking up?!" I roared in agitation as I heard the call being forwarded to his voicemail. I cut the line and convinced myself that he was probably scared witless right now and that he sure should be for commuting such a crime.

My face puffed up in anger as I stomped over to my bike and climbed on, looking at my phone once again feeling offended. I sent him a message to inform him that he was going to be 'SO dead' and furiously pedalled my bike home.

Just as I reached home I caught Jun just about to leave from the front door and pounced on him straight away."YOU!!!" 

"What?!" Jun jumped in shock as I grabbed hold of him.

"You were ignoring my call!" I complained first of all, making him look at me in confusion. He pulled out his phone and saw that he had a missed call.

"Oh, you did call…" he laughed nervously.

"What are you doing here?" I asked curiously, perhaps a little guilty of expecting him to say he came to look for me.

"I came to wish Ahjussi good luck for later," he said, alas.

"You won't be there?" I asked, surprised that he would miss out in one of Abba's performances.

"I need to finish up tomorrow's music collaboration that we were working on together," he explained.

 "Oh…" I knew the collaboration thing was important to them, but somehow I still couldn't help but feel a little disappointed that he wouldn't be there.

"Well, I'll be off now there's a lot to do," he said with a dorky grin on his face as usual and was already on his way before I could even say anything else. In the end I hadn't even asked him about the SNS account.

Once I got inside, I let Abba know that I was back and started stacking the products I had bought into the kitchen shelves and fridge. Abba tried to help me but I denied him access into the kitchen and sent him back, telling him to start getting dressed for the performance instead since it was nearing the time to set off. He gave in with a smile and headed upstairs.

"Remember not to touch your hair, that's my job!" I called out after him with an excited grin.

It barely took me a few minutes to finish up my task so I too headed upstairs and knocked on Abba's door.

"Minhee?" he answered and opened the door, still dressed in his home clothes.

"Sheesh, Abba you take longer than a girl to get changed," I joked, making him laugh.

"You barely gave me enough time to walk up the stairs," he shook his head in amusement as I took his arm and lead him to sit on a chair so that I could work on his hair. It would probably be better to get the hair out of the way first so that he could take his time to get changed into his tuxedo afterwards. I styled his hair back in a classy quiff with a little hair gel, adding a little volume to make sure his hair wouldn’t look too flat.

After I was done, Abba thanked me for my help and I laid out his tuxedo on his bed for him to get changed into before leaving the room. Now it was time to focus on myself.

I picked my cute floral, purple dress and flat shoes that went perfectly well with it. It was a gift from Abba on my last birthday and I treasured it so much. He picked it out for me with the help of the store assistants he had told me and I was glad that he picked out such a pretty dress. I just wished he could see me wearing it today.

The accessories I picked were my silver bow earrings and a round-cut cubic zirconia necklace. The only makeup I was wearing was eyeliner and some cherry pink lip tint. I liked keeping it simple. As I adjusted the bangs of my hair in front of the mirror, I wondered what Jun would've thought of my appearance today. It was a shame that he wasn't coming but it couldn't be helped since he was so sincere about the collaboration with Abba.

After I was done getting ready, I walked into the living room and saw Abba dressed up in his tuxedo and looking handsome as he always did. "Wow Abba, you look great!" I complimented straight away and pulled my phone out to snap some pictures.

He chuckled, "If it's you who thinks so, then I really must be looking good." He looked so happy that it became contagious.

After making sure we had all the things we needed with us, we headed out of the house and climbed into the black car waiting outside for us. The chauffeur had been standing outside the car and humbly opened the passenger door. We had decided to take the car this time since we were running a tiny bit late and didn't want to risk having to turn up hours late due to train delays that could occur at anytime. Abba and I were talking throughout the entire journey, about school, Jun, the upcoming performance and even who the guests would be.

"Oh Abba! Jun's dad seems to be a big fan of you, he is actually coming to watch you perform too!" I gasped as I remembered, anticipating his reaction.

"What? Really?" a big smile appeared on Abba's face as I expected, "Jun's dad is a world renowned business man, I'm glad that he acknowledges my music."

I nodded to myself and bragged, "Indeed! My dad is the greatest!"

It was great seeing Abba in such a high note before the performance, because whether he would be nervous or not, I would get anxious in his place praying that everything would go smoothly. So far there had never been a mistake in Abba's piano concerts which I was thankful for but even if errors were to occur, I knew Abba wasn't one to fret too much over it. He was the kind of person who would brush off mistakes saying that all humans have to go through them sometimes and then he'd get right back up and continue. He would always remind me though that learning from those mistakes was the most important part and that was something I took to heart since little.

When we arrived we were taken in through a back door since fans and reporters were already crowded outside the main entrance even though it was still early.

"Good luck, Abba!" I encouraged as I gave him a hug when we almost reached backstage. I had to get to my seat before the rest of the audience flooded into the hall.

"Thank you, Minhee!" Abba looked excited and touched me on the head before the performance coordinator came to discuss a few things with him.

In the meanwhile I made my way to the seating area and found my seat in the middle of the first row, which I was more than satisfied with. Of course his one and only daughter should get the best seat. I was amazed at how enormous the hall was and the seats were seriously countless that I almost worried whether they would be filled up. But as soon as the visitors were let in, the seats were being taken up at a crazy speed. Before I knew it the whole place was cramped.

The performance itself went perfectly and Abba just looked so elegant and amazing that the whole thing altogether just had me in tears barely halfway through. Luckily it wasn't just me sobbing away, because every time I looked around me I'd see everyone in tears too. Abba's music was simply that kind of music. It could reach out to even the toughest person on earth and move them to tears.

At the end of his last piano performance, he was showered with roses as the whole audience roared into a standing ovation. And I too jumped in the air like I just didn't care because I was feeling so emotional by that point. An ahjumma next to me was sobbing so uncontrollably that I had to give her all my tissues.

It took a while for us to be able to go home because we had to wait for most of the audience to leave first. I met with Abba again backstage and I just couldn't stop squealing about how amazing he was and that everyone absolutely loved him. I was rambling on about it from the concert hall until we arrived home with the car we came in before. Abba just kept laughing and humbly thanking me for the shower of compliments, but I just couldn't stop, because I wished he had seen all those people applauding and cheering for him. The look on their faces and the meaningful tears, I really wanted Abba to know it all! So as I was telling him all about it in detail, we were also eating the kimbab we had taken with us in the car because we were both famished.

When we got out of the car the sky was a little darker and the air was cooler. We thanked the chauffeur and hurried back into the house feeling dead tired after the long day. We both then washed up and went straight to bed like zombies after saying goodnight to each other. 

            Yesterday had worn me out more than I had thought as I found myself struggling to wake up. My alarm hadn't gone off yet but I knew it was close to seven am. Strangely, I wasn't hearing any noises from the kitchen. I reluctantly reached out for my cell phone to check the time and immediately sat up, forcefully throwing the blankets off me in one move. It was almost eight am!

            In a flash, I scurried out of bed and went to check up on Abba. I had forgotten to switch off the silent mode of my phone after the performance. Ugh, so stupid. But it was weird that Abba wasn't up yet either.

            I knocked on his door and waited for an answer, but it never came. I slowly turned the nob and opened the door, only to find Abba still in bed. "Abba?" I pushed the door open all the way, "Are you awake?" I frowned and walked over to him. It was strange that he wasn't answering. Abba was a light sleeper and sometimes when I would tiptoe downstairs for a midnight snack, the next morning he would ask me why I had been unable to fall asleep. He also rarely slept past seven thirty even in weekends, let alone school days.

            His face looked flushed and he seemed to be sweating. I shook him lightly, hoping that he would answer but alas. Fear and panic shot through me and I shook him a little harder, "Abba?!" Not getting an answer this time either, I quickly tried to think of what I should do next and looked at the phone still in my hand. Call the hospital!

            After throwing on my uniform—because I had already laid it out and it was easiest to change into right now, I waited for the paramedics to arrive. In the meanwhile I did as I was told by the nurse I had talked with on the phone and threw off his heavy blanket and replaced it with a lightweight one. I kneeled next to his bed and fanned him with some music sheets that had been lying on his nightstand. I knew these weren't his, because Abba used Braille. They were either the ones Jun had helped him write down, or the ones Jun had composed himself. Maybe that was what he came to drop off yesterday but didn't want me to know? I tilted my head to read the title as I continued fanning Abba: Ocean of Tears. I momentarily stopped fanning and looked at the music sheets. Abba had written these. Taking a closer look I noticed the paper was old and turning yellow and the ink was fading. I looked through the sheets and saw that the handwriting seemed to be getting worse and the last page was unfinished. The paper was wrinkled at some places and ink was smudged as if drops of tears had fallen on them.

            I looked up at Abba trying to understand it and the only thing that made sense to me was that he had started writing this after Eomma had passed away. His eyesight wasn't completely gone back then, he just had to strain his eyes to see vague outlines of things. I felt a wave of sadness wash over me, realizing he had been unable to finish it before losing the light in his eyes. He probably didn't remember the notes anymore and couldn't read them either...and I was useless.

            Did Jun know about this? Was that why he had missed Abba's performance yesterday? So far he had seen more performances by Abba than I had because he simply refused to miss any if he was able to be there, but yesterday he'd seemed so determined to finish the task Abba had given him.

            Someone knocked at the front door, making me jerk up my head in the direction of the sound. I quickly got to my feet and ran downstairs to let the paramedics in. Lightly bowing at them in greeting, I gestured for them to come in and lead them upstairs to where Abba was.

I was anxiously waiting for the doctor to come out of Abba's hospital room, because although I had been sitting out here for the past fifteen minutes I had no clue what was wrong with him. Two nurses were constantly walking in and out of the room so I attempted to talk to them, but they just kept telling me to take a seat and be patient because the doctor was still checking on Abba's symptoms. I was sat down and praying that it wasn't something really bad when I felt my phone vibrate in the pocket of my jacket against my hip. I pulled it out and looked at the screen. A message from Jun.

            'I'm not coming to school today. I'll see you at your place later on.'

            I frowned at the message, wondering why Jun out of all people would willingly skip school when he wasn't even sick. It occurred to me that he was probably still feeling a little insecure and nervous about making an appearance at school with his new look. I guess it was only normal to feel this way initially, but that meant the Babo was going to leave me to be at school all on my own today?!

            Either way, that wasn't something I could keep my mind occupied with at the moment. My hands automatically went on to type him a frantic reply about Abba being in the hospital and that I was scared as heck, but halted just in time before I pressed the send button. My thumb hovered hesitantly over the button while I considered it would probably be better not to reply until I knew what was wrong with Abba or Jun would worry for nothing as well. Knowing him, he would most likely panic even more than me so I cancelled the message and put my phone back in my pocket. I was still deciding whether I should go to school or not in case Abba did turn out to be okay, because I wasn't allowed to stay in the hospital anyway, but the longer the doctor and nurses stayed in there, the more I worried.

            I shot up from my seat when I heard the door open and looked at Dr. Kim with hopeful eyes as I waited for him to speak. He had been Abba's GP since I could remember, hence we were very familiar with him. It was times like this that I appreciated that the most.

            "Don't worry," he smiled kindly with wrinkles forming around his eyes, "The fever is a result of exhaustive practicing. He’ll feel better soon.

            I heaved a sigh of relief after hearing those comforting words and nodded gratefully.

            "We'll keep him here until his fever goes down, he should be good to go home tomorrow," the doctor added, surprising me so bad that I was at a loss for words. I mentally shook my head at my stupidity when I made sense of it. Of course they would keep him here, his fever wouldn't just go down on its own without good medical attention.

After Dr. Kim had finished going over a few more details, he allowed me to enter the room to see Abba. I thanked him and immediately headed into the room, feeling a wave of comfort washing over me as I saw him peacefully sleeping on the hospital bed. I quietly walked up to him and sat down by his side with a sigh. He worked way too hard for that performance and I hadn't even noticed. I had always reminded him to work in moderation so that he wouldn't exhaust himself and get sick, but he really did it this time. I had been too caught up with Jun and things at school that I didn't take care of Abba enough.

He stirred awake as soon as I touched his hand, which was a relief and much more like the light sleeper that I knew he was. A tired smile formed on his face as he sat up a little.

"I'm sorry Minhee," Abba apologised, reaching out his hand to my head again as he patted it the way he did since I was little. It was his way if comforting me, and strangely it always worked.

"It's okay Abba, I'm just glad you're fine," I shook my head with a much brighter smile, trying to cheer him up and boost his energy a little, "But you can't overwork yourself like this ever again."

"Promise," he nodded firmly, "So you don't have to worry anymore, I'll be fine here since I have Dr. Kim. You should go back to school."

"No, I'll stay." I refused because I was still feeling too conflicted to leave for school. Besides, Jun wasn't going to be there either. Abba just gave in after attempting to persuade me for a little bit more, and then I made him get some more rest because he really needed it. I was idly sitting next to Abba for a long while, when eventually I reckoned it was probably better to go to school after all. It was almost going to be lunch already, but the maths lesson afterwards was something I really bad at. Seeing that we had a maths test soon, it was probably wiser that I made an effort to attend. Damn school and their annoying tests, they just liked to keep themselves busy by torturing lazy students like me.

Not wanting to wake up Abba, I left a note on the desk beside his bed and silently sneaked out of the room to get to school as soon as I could.

After catching a taxi, I finally made it to the empty school grounds. It was only then that I remembered again that Jun wasn't here so I quickly pulled out my phone whilst walking towards the building and texted Jun.

'Yah you scaredy-cat! Coward! Hurry up and get to school!'

 I was just approaching the main entrance when I received a reply from him.

'I'm already on my way you nag!' an annoyed emoji face was added at the end of the sentence, making me smile to myself as I put my phone away again. I couldn't wait to see him again.

 

 

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