Wow. That was the word that came to mind the moment she had first saw her, sadly it was not in person but on line where the knowledge of Korea's latest girlband craze flashed over the screen her social media flooded with it, and she could see why. The leader was stunning, the other seven in the group had their perks but the leader was who caught her eye, she looked to be the shortest of the lot from what she could tell and she found it strangely endearing in her. That was when Tiffany Hwang had became a hopeless fangirl of Taeyeon - who was so out of her league it was not even funny anymore. For one thing the girl was a celebrity, miles away, just totally out of her league that she felt down thinking about all the reasons she would probably never meet her let alone hold her or wipe away signs of tears when she felt sad. Laugh with her when she was gleeful. She could never do any of that, it was out of the question.

As if a gift from above she heard news of a competiton that was awarding VIP tickets to one of Girl Generation's (Taeyeon's band) concerts, never had she felt so determined in all her life - a chance to see Taeyeon in person even if far away was a dream come true. All she had to do was a cover of one of Girl Generation's songs The issue was there would be thousands of entries and she was not the best at covers even if she did know all the songs and rountines off by heart thanks to being a die-hard fangirl. She lacked the confidence and more than likely the skill base as well, the thought that Taeyeon might watch her entry left her all giddy and she knew she would probably end up shy or squealing half way through due to that. 

"Tiffany Hwang, are you going to pass out on the chance of a lifetime because you're too nervous. If you don't enter you'll probably never have a chance like this again." She told herself sternly prepping for a more than likely embarrassing recording - she had watched others for inspiration and in some cases she wished she had not thanks to the quality of some. It left Tiffany feeling as if she had little to no chance but if she did not try she would not be able to pass the first hurdle. She decided to go for an old favourite of hers, 'Hoot'. The rountine and song was uplifting and fun besides not as many she had seen had went for that song which gave her more chance to stand out.

Finally it was done - and then came the worst part... the waiting. It would take months of never knowing and more than likely getting no response only knowing who won thanks to social media. She doubted she could handle the wait, she was bad enough when waiting for Taeyeon merchandise and posters and she drove herself up the wall from impatience. Taeyeon was her bias and maybe she got a bit too involved concerning her - but everyone needed that little something to push through, and hers was Taeyeon with her soothing voice and her inspiring words. She was well enough aware that she may never meet her let alone really know what Taeyeon was like only knowing from the side she showed the cameras, which could all be fake but it was still good to dream and there was nothing wrong with that.

One day a letter arrived and her heart leapt out of in ancipitation upon seeing where it had been from thanks to the return address on the cover. She took herself to the side telling herself to calm down as it could just as easily be a mass-printed 'sorry but no' reply letter. Her hands were still trembling as she prepped herself before she very carefully opened it so not to rip the envelope. An excited squeal left her lips as she read the letter - she got through! She had not won it but she did manage to get through to the semi-finals, the rest was to be chosen by the public online and in the finals there was going to be eight winners. One chosen by each of the girls themselves. It a step, now to get everyone to vote for her by pleading online on her social websites and asking school friends. She did not want to sound whiny however - why was it all so hard. At least she was through to the semi-finals.

With shaky breaths she looked upon in excitement as their video got more views each day she checked, she gave a squeal and hugged her character cushion close to her before just smiling to himself. She felt like dying when she got through to the final round, she had not honestly thought she was that good or much people would like her she was not sure whether to laugh or cry thanks to all the emotions running through her, the comments were all so nice too and she was just so grateful and awed.

The final round was the worst though, she had gotten so far but to find out if she failed at this stage now would be hard breaking - especially considering it would be her favourite band who decided that she was not good enough rather some anonymous public or board-members. The date came nearer and nearer to the results and the excitement had long gone, she had a small inkling of hope but it was smothered by the thoughts that it would not be good enough. That she was not good enough, the other's she had seen were amazing. Some had the professional quality she had no chance competing with, others even incorporated the dance moves into theirs. The small chance she had was just that. Small.

Ten days till answer day. She tried to ignore it but the glaring red date marked in her diary and calender merely kept reminding her of it sending worries to reappear and just bother her throughout the day as hard as she tried to complete all the work she had to do whether housework or otherwise but it still loomed over her.

Nine days. Tea, she practically lived off the stuff today finding herself brewing it if not but to have something to do before drinking it so not to put it to waste, it warmed up her belly making her feel somewhat sleepy despite the caffeine that could be found within it.

Eight days. Nearly a week till the results, it was going so fast yet at the same time went so slow, she wondered if the band have seen them all yet or were busy with schedules that they only saw a small part.

Six days. She figured she may as well be going crazy with the wait, it was becoming harder to distract herself from the impending results.

48 hours. 45 hours if she was going to be exact about it. 44 hours and thirty eight minutes if she was going to go in real detail than that. She was so nervous that she found it almost unbelievable.

4 hours to go... and she fell asleep.  The excitement throughout the week had worn her out and she missed it as the results were finally posted, it was a video of each band member saying why they chose that cover but Tiffany did not see them until a few hours after they had been released whilst her phone and social media was spammed with various messages making her feel confused on the results. Did she get in or not? It took scrolling and searching but eventually she found the page... to see who was the winners were you had to watch the videos, well that was one way to rack up views. There was something cheating almost about Jessica Jung's one though... the person she had chosen to win was Krystal Jung her own sister, to be honest Tiffany did not see the point in that as Krystal could probably see her sister all the time and possibly the band too. 

It went on like that and she had to admit the others deserved it and wondered how pleased they would be to have their idols directly addressing them. Possibly with the exception of Krystal, not that she was not deserving but still... her sister. Finally Tiffany came to Taeyeon's piece, she had been saving her's for last as hers was the most important to her, she took a deep breath before watching in ancipitation. She was not chosen. It was some guy named Baekhyun which was really surprising to her, for one thing she did not expect many male covers or males entering. A hint of jealousy at how Taeyeon said that they could duet sometime whilst Tiffany had no chance to even see her. Tiffany just felt like crying, no one had chosen her, now how was she supposed to ever meet them or even see them in person? She went to turn off her laptop disappointed and feeling as if she just needed a good cry to let her emotions out.

Then one video caught her eye, it was one of the entire band together, she clicked it expecting some kind of well done for the runner ups - as in her - and some smiles and the likes. What she did not expect was there to be an overall one chosen by the entire band, this would have been a surprise to a lot of people as they kept this part secret saying there would be only eight winners. This was indicating a ninth winner, hope returned if only slight. None of the others chose her but instead chose far better ones, why would she be chosen as an overall winner? Just when she about to close the window she heard her name mentioned, by Taeyeon of all people - her name being called out by Taeyeon just sent weird emotions sending through her and she just felt shy for some odd reason. Then she died. 

 

Well not really, but she did feel rather faint - she just could not believe it about what they were saying... she got a backstage pass, she could actually meet them face to face - all expenses paid. Someone pinch her quick, tell her that she was not dreaming. This must be a dream right, one really big dream. But what a wonderful dream it was.

---

She was sitting besides the Baekhyun guy on the company van as they were transported to meet Girls' Generation, it turned out they lived relatively close so they were picked up together. She looked out the window in awe at the passing surroundings, it was finally happening. How long had she waited to see them in person and now she had a chance to actually meet them - especially Taeyeon and she felt nervous and unsure of herself, emotions had she never once figured she would be when she day-dreamt about it. Excited, full of jubilation, maybe a bit of shyness but never nervousness or mild regrets. She kept wondering what if they did not like her, found her annoying or just saw her as just another fan - another autograph to sign. She counted down the hours it would take to get them to get there. Baekhyun was not that fun in her opinion, he tended to keep to himself and his phone despite her efforts to talk to him. She also had to note that he wore more eye-liner than she probably had done in a life-time, with a sigh she leaned back looking as cities and other scenery passed her by, she wondered how that Baekhyun could be so calm as if this was just another trip to anywhere rather than a trip to see Girls Generation, she felt like see was going crazy. More winners joined them on the van congraluting her and eachother. All females aside from Baekhyun who stood out like a sore thumb. A discussion of bias was bought up and they began talking animatedly even Baekhyun joined in mentioning how his bias much like Tiffany was Taeyeon, Tiffany chew her lip a little at that whilst the other girls seemed awed at how he was chosen by his bias and how that must feel amazing.  Tiffany felt a bit silly as she sort of considered Baekhyun as some kind of a rival after he mentioned how Taeyeon was his bias too, but a rival in what exactly she was not sure about but she felt somewhat silly over it.

They were taken into the building by men in black suits who seemed to have been hired based on how initimidating they could look rather than anything else. They stuck together in a tight knit group looking around excitedly squealing to themselves and poking each other to point out passing idols such as the members of SHINee and other ones. Tiffany could not help but join in to an extent as she never once expected something like this, it was amazing to have this priviledge. A camera man greeted them along with their manager and they explained that they were filming due to the public want to see some of the meeting, it was also a great priviledge to promote the band. Tiffany felt a little disappointed at that, the band was bound to put on more of an act now if they were being recorded... at least with out cameras they had some kind of chance of it being more real, many of the others did not seem to mind at all but rather it seemed all the more exciting for them.

Then after signing a permission form saying it was okay with them being on camera they went in, Tiffany held back a noise that emitted from the second she saw them, Taeyeon stood out from the others and she looked even more beautiful in real life - also shorter than she envisioned. It was always strange seeing how people measured up in height when meeting them in real life, they could be way taller or far shorter. Bodyguards or so it seemed was with them probably for their safety as some fans could really get out of hand whether big stars like they were or smaller ones.

It was nice but Tiffany's eyes could not help but be on Taeyeon for practically all of it but she was trying her best not to be too obvious in case she freaked her out of so. She was just so... beautiful and words did not make up for it, she was stunning in pictures and videos but so much more in real life. She could feel her cheeks heating up and shyness struck her everytime Taeyeon looked her way and her eyes hurried moved to something else. 

They then had a chance to talk to each of them, well at least the one who chose them... Tiffany however was taken from the room and was to speak to the manager for she was the overall one and so would have her moment later. This was not what she had expected and was not quite what she had wanted, it was so mechanic and forced. And so very controlled as if it was all scripted. She was shocked to be asked if she would like to join the band on stage as she was the winner in a few weeks time giving her time to learn some microphone control and chrorography. She agreed in the end as the opportunity was amazing.

---

Tiffany looked shyly at each of the band members as they greeted her in the sound studio, never did she expect this to actually be singing with them on stage rather than watching as she had been lead to believe. Taeyeon shook her hand and a shiver went down her spine as her cheeks heated up, she had touched Taeyeon's skin, shyly she looked away inwardly cursing how obvious she was. Taeyeon smiled at her making her knees feel weak beneath her, she told herself off and that she should get a grip. It was hard though considering these were her idols and she had a crush on Taeyeon for so long, to start thinking of them as people she was working with was just daunting and exciting at the same time.

Starting to know the real Taeyeon however she just fell for her even more  and it was dangerous being so close to her as she just wanted to hold her at points, kiss her cheeks and other such stuff, it was hard to resist with the other sitting so close to her. When their voices came together chills passed through her. Taeyeon was softer than her persona let show but she still carried the strength that she often showed on camera, she could be comforting too especially when Tiffany was struck with stage fright or anxiousness. When Taeyeon squeezed her hand to reassure her she felt all gooey inside.

The other band members were great as well as she was beginning to feel as if she really fit into their little family, the chance to meet other idols were great too. Her family and friends would be envious of it and probably kill for the opportunity she was having. She could not tell them too much about it though so not to give away the show. She had to admit it would be sad to see them all go by the end of it but she would have an amazing experience to make up for it.

It came up to the stage-rehearsal and Tiffany felt as if she could not do it, she felt sick and she felt she would let everyone down if she went on by freezing or freaking out so she decided to hide in the bathroom. She took deep breaths panicking at the thought of going on stage as she huddled with her knees pressed to her chest. She could not do it. 

"Tiffany?" Tiffany froze as she heard Taeyeon call out her name, she had never gotten used to the sound of her name on the other's lips, it was always so amazing. Taeyeon had came looking for her, peering in the door she found her. Taeyeon looked at her with a sigh before kneeling down to her height sending her a comforting smile. "You know I was nervous on my first performance too, still am but there's the fans to please. That gives me strength." Taeyeon began, Tiffany shook her head.

"I haven't got any fans... and I'll just end up disappointing you. It's best if I don't go on." Tiffany answered, a week earlier she would have never thought that she would be able to speak to Taeyeon so easily let alone Taeyeon would even bother listen but here she was.

"Okay, think of doing it for me and how disappointed I'll be if you don't go up here. I want to sing with you Tiffany." Taeyeon said changing her tune slightly to something she figured would help push Tiffany forward more. Tiffany looked up at that, she would never want to disappoint Taeyeon ever, she had only grown to like her more and more since getting to know her. Tiffany stood up.

"Let's go." She murmured, Taeyeon grinned before pulling the other to her their lips connecting. Tiffany gasped before staring blankly at Taeyeon was already out the door, Taeyeon looked over her shoulder and winked.

"For good luck."