Something In You

BGM : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xX1egDLERjY

Yonghwa stares at his girlfriend who is eating in front of him, sighing inwardly over the fact he can’t understand her at all. One would wonder how can they even start going out at the first place. Of course he likes her, if not he won’t even confess. He really expect to be turned down like what she did to the rest of guys that confess and get over his silly crush on her, move on and live without getting tie down by his pent up feelings for her.

Till this very day, he can never understand why she dates him at the first place. Why say yes to him out of all guys. Sure, he is charming and everything but when he asks her that, her answer is never assuring to him. A “why not?” or the casual “you look reliable enough” is not exactly ideal for him to understand for sure her feelings towards him. He feels she is expressing her gratitude instead of an actual mutual feeling of liking. It’s not exactly an ideal understanding of a relationship.

For him, he starts noticing her because of her eyes. He accidentally sees it when she’s reading a book on the bench nearby the basketball court. Her eyes only her eyes stay unhidden behind the book… and it’s the most sparkling thing he ever seen. He got a thing with sparkling things… and he just can’t help it and soon after that, the feeling of attraction turn into liking…

“I like you!” He slightly screams startling the latter, his eyes shut tightly.. not wanting to see her reaction since his stomach is already tied into knots… of nervousness.

“And?”

“And?” He asks her back, opening his eyes. She looks expectant.. and he chooses to take a leap of faith. “Would you like to date me?” He flashes her a nervous looking smile… she blinks a couple of times shakes out her thoughts and say the last word he expected her to say.

“Ne.”

Seohyun who only now notice the look on her boyfriend, tilts her head in confusion.

“Aren’t you eating?”

“I’m going to.” He lifts up his fork but stop when he notices she still feel very distant just because she still covers while eating. When she is talking and eating with her same age chingoo which consist of some guys too, she’s been pretty comfy to even use banmal to them.

It hurts him a bit, feeling like she’s never close with him despite the title of their relationship. They don’t even fight like a normal couple would do.

Seohyun eyes him in between shoving the food into … he looks trouble and she doesn’t really know how to approach him. “You still aren’t eating.”

“Oh mian.”

“Is something wrong?”

“Not anything in particular… by the way, what do you want to do in our 100 days celebration?”

“Donate blood!” A sudden rush of twinkling stars blind him in an instance… it was her eyes doing. Sparkling with childlike excitement that he needs to gulp the lump of his throat… clearing it afterwards.

You know how starstruck is only use for stars? Not really true since he’s feeling it with his girlfriend too. She’s a sight to behold.

That’s why he likes her in the first place. Her random actions, words and even the most cutest natural aegyo… everything about her randomness is so lovable to him.

Sort of wrong that he always think of her as cute, makes her feel like a dongsaeng to him but then come across the very strong opinionated girlfriend mode of hers… that change his perception of her but the real problem is that how distance he has been feeling towards her.. it seems she is putting a safe distance from him.

“Okay, and then?”

“And then?”

“You’re not going to think we’re just doing that to celebrate right?”

“Movie?”

“What kind…?”

“The kind where I can brag to my friends too.” If it’s even possible her eyes sparkle yet again.

“Sure, I will buy you that. But don’t you think it’s too typical?”

“Waeyo?”

“Everyone did that already.” Yonghwa answers before sipping his drink.

“You did too?”

“Mwoh?!” Yonghwa nearly chocks on his drink. “Of course I did too, I date around too before.”

“Oh. You reach 100 days?”

“I did.”

“Okay, but we’re still going to the movie.” Seohyun says nonchalantly, nodding at him to go forward with it. No glint of jealousy can be seen.

See, this is the exact problem he’s having.

She’s too uncaring over his past relationship nor does she cares about his closeness with female species.

It’s like she’s doing this relationship just to fill her past time. It’s not exactly a great feeling to feel. A hobby for someone else.

***

“Where’s Seohyun?” Yoona, a girl one year younger than him and one year older than his girlfriend made her way to the table he is sitting with Seohyun holding a tray full with food on her way, oblivious how weird the scene are since she is so thin and then there’s a truckload of all kinds of food on her tray.

“There.” Yonghwa supports his chin lazily, honestly feeling drain out by his girlfriend total obliviousness to the male courters.

“Just her friends.” Yoona defended Seohyun.

“Well that guy isn’t just a friend.” Yonghwa pointed with his eyes at Jinwoon. “He’s a fan.”

“She won’t spare any of her time to them. She likes you.”

“Am I a bad boyfriend to think she’s toying with me? I don’t get the assurance you know that she likes being with me.”

“Am I hearing things or the ‘Jung Yonghwa’… the charming guy.. is being insecure?”

“I might be. I only admit it because you’re her bestfriend. Tell me straight to the face she’s toying with me or not?”

“Why do you even feel this way, pretty sure she likes you too.”

“I’m not sure she does. She never said that to me.”

“Bwohh?!” Yoona shouts too loudly causing everyone to stare at her. She calms down and bow apologetically. “She didn’t say that?! What a silly girl. How do you guys even decided to go out together?”

“I ask her out after confessing and just like the typical Seohyun style she says ‘ne.’”

“Do you want me to help you out. Say yes or no very fast, Seohyun is coming.”

“Yes. Please do.. I’m at lost right now.”

***

Seohyun is pasting the advertisement on the notice board with Yoona helping her to hold it. Actually Seohyun has been putting the advertisement on the wall instead of the suppose notice board since her eyes are practically somewhere else noting the friendliness of her boyfriend with his girl-friends. Sure, he’s a joker… but she can still feel jealous.. and of course he should never know this.

Nobody should know this…

Well except for… ones that can read her like an open book.

“Do you like Jung Yonghwa?”

“Of course I do. You know that right?”

“Express it. That guy doesn’t really know how you feel.”

“How should i?”

“Have you guys hold hands?”

“Aniyo..” She shakes her head.

“What?! Why?!”

“Why, you guys say never give yourself easily to men and not to touch him on dates.”

“Yaaaa. You guys are approaching your 100 days. How about a kiss?”

“I don’t even hold hands with him yet let alone a sfdkj.”

“What?”

“A kiss..” Seohyun mumbles, blushing.

“Have you even blush in front of him like this at least?”

“Never.” She says like it’s the scariest thing she would ever do to him.

“Why?”

“I don’t really like to do it.. I don’t know. I control myself a lot.. I’m afraid he will hurt me.. I really like him but if I give myself away… I’m afraid he will leave me. I’m pretty clingy.”

“Well, you are you so it’s understandable. Did he tries to hold your hand?”

Seohyun shakes her head. “I think if he initiates I will relent to some extent but he doesn’t.” She sighs. “He’s too considerate.”

“You’re not making it easier for him not to be inconsiderate. He cannot read minds Seohyun. You need to meet him up halfway.. He can be a considerate pabo at times. Seohyun?”

“Ne.”

“Try to at least show that you like him okay? If not you guys won’t progress.”

Seohyun slumps her shoulder down, nodding unwillingly. She feels scared of doing so but she knows she wants this to progress because he’s exactly the dreamy guy she can see herself be with.

***

That day, Seohyun asks for his permission to try celebrating their anniversary her way which he is a bit reluctant to. He did ask her isn’t they going to do some blood donation and she just smiled… the smile with a hint of slyness in it and he can’t exactly say no when she is looking at him like that.

He agrees on it and here he is being told by her to drop by the park nearby their school and there she is, wearing a very feminine looking dress with cardigans completing her attire. Just the way he loves it, her hair being let go… slightly falling below her shoulder. Wavy brown hair, with guitar on her hand…

What exactly is this?

And then she calls him on… asking him to come closer and he did. She doesn’t need to ask, she’s like a magnet anyways.

Then he hears strumming of guitar, he checks over and over again with his eyes that she is indeed strumming it.

“Listen to the lyrics..” She says… before gulping.

You told me that I have changed

His eyes widen

Is love always like butterflies to you?

To me, it’s being comfortable

I don’t set apart time to think about you

I always think about you

He can’t believe this at all..

This is like a dream…

He is grinning from ear to ear. Her voice is soothing. He had always knew she has it in her. There’s serenity on her voice that can infect you… and here she is singing him a song with her sweet voice..

Yes, I think about you

Even on busy days, each moment, I see you in each of those moments

I can’t show you everything but you can feel a little too, right?

Each moment that we spent together is so precious to me

She puts down her guitar, but continues singing the last line as she steps closer to him, boldly pulling his hand. He stares at her in shock.

So I can’t express it all in words but I’ll show it to you little by little

The most beautiful ending come across to him… she has lean to kiss him on the cheek and whisper “I like you.. I really do.”

His mouth is slightly parted in disbelief though his cheeks are popping out in an obvious happiness. He flashes his ever so charming smile and nudges her right shoulder with his left shoulder. “I thought you didn’t like me?”

“Waeyo?” She asks, really do not understand why he could ever think that.

“You didn’t say you like me back when I confess.”

“You didn’t notice?”

“What?”

“Yonghwa oppa…” He mentally taking a note in his mind, it’s the first time she calls him Yonghwa oppa that night. The most cute sounding words coming out from her.

“I purposely kick you into a curb into asking me out without confessing back to you because I’m… well I’m stubborn.”

“Jasshik.”

“I have a crush on you over a year before you confess.”

“You did?”

She bobs her head up and down, her feet digging the ground trying to lessen the embarrassment she is feeling.

He smiles, teasing her with his eyes… it’s amusing for him. She’s blushing…

“We are going for a movie but it’s going to be different.” He states. “Or you want to go to the theatre?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because you went there with someone else already.”

He actually did that just to see some reaction out of her and he gets it. She’s flaring her nose, she’s being really forward right now and he’s really loving this straightforward Seo Joohyun.

“Have you always been like this?”

“You will discover more if you stay with me longer.”

“I can’t then.”

“You can’t?”

“Yes, because I think I’m actually falling for you and this might grow into something deeper than liking you.”

“Without even a kiss?”

“If I do so, we can consider prolonging our time?”

“Who knows…”

He knows she’s giving him the sign, and this time he is not going to hesitate it. He leans in and touch her lips.

The moisture of it, the strawberry taste.. everything is perfect. He encloses her small waist with his arms, slightly lifting her up.

Seo Joohyun can’t believe this feeling. The feeling where she feels like she is swoop away from her feet. Because truth to be told, she has always been the shy girl who notices the outgoing Yonghwa who his signature smile is always there on his face. His snaggletooth smile, his well defined cheek… everything about him is charming and when he had confessed to her she right away agrees with it… because she has been liking him for ages..

Silently without him knowing.

She keeps telling Yoona stories about how their eyes meet… or how cute he is when he smiles or how charming he is when he talks.

It’s just too embarrassing to admit it.

It’s embarrassing that she keeps on seating at the basketball court seemingly reading, but her eyes grow past her book and to the sweaty man shooting some hoops with his buddies and how she blushes to herself when he runs pass her to greet his friend…

But now here they are and it’s the best thing she feels… It’s not like the feeling when she scores on her exam or anything.. It’s different. It’s like a breath of fresh air. The feeling is.. His presence is like a warmness enveloping her. It feels so sturdy.

***

It’s late at night when Yonghwa walks Seohyun home as the windy night breeze brushes over their bodies. Seohyun wraps her arms on her body, hugging to warm herself. Yonghwa awkwardly digs his pocket with his hands.

“It’s cold.” She says as the white smoke forms in the air.

“Is it?”

“Ne. It’s cold..”

Yonghwa wants to wrap his arms on her waist, erasing their distance and share the same warmth but it will be too bold for him to do so. So he keeps his silence and let his hands dangles on his side.

“It’s cold…” Seohyun keeps saying it so Yonghwa looks at her suspiciously.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean it’s cold.” Seohyun frowns.

“Well…” Yonghwa stretches his arms out like he is stretching his arms when she feels it is around her shoulder. She giggles.. as she hold his hand and lift it up. Thinking that it’s a sign of rejection, Yonghwa withdraws his arms.

Seohyun pouts, she looks at her feet… her left hand feels around the air trying to seek for his hand and then it brushes again his. Just like that, she grabs his pinky finger.

Yonghwa stops walking and look at her, eyes nearly popping out but a twinge of smile can be seen on his face. He grins and grabs her hand fully. He thinks he is going to love walking all the more after this especially if she's beside him just like this. Holding onto him.

Step by step...

Slowly... he will make her come out of her shell.