CHAERIN

 

I’ve been standing here for a couple of minutes now looking at her, looking at the face of this girl who broke my heart into million pieces, the one who left me, the girl I loved the most. As I look at her, I felt like a wall hit me hard, memories flashing back, the pain and hurt that I thought was gone but damn! It’s still here inside me

 

 

“Chaerin..” she said again, I clench my fist, trying hard not to say hurtful words at her

 

 

“Yeah?” I answered, I know my friends are looking at me that moment and honestly I want to yell and ask them if they knew that Dara would be here and I heard Grace-Unnie speak up

 

 

“Uhm hey Dara! Ah it’s nice to see you again..” she said, Dara looks at her then to me again

 

 

F**k!! Can someone tell her to stop looking at me like that?!

 

 

“It’s good to see you again, guys. Uhm so Bryan hired you to assemble the IT Dept?” Dara asked them, I don’t know why but all I want to do is to leave this place and never come back

 

 

“Yeah! But ah we’re kinda having a problem right now..” Grace-Unnie answered her

 

 

“Uhm yeah, sorry about that. There’s a technical error last night and the machine didn’t send the memo that Bryan gave to me..” she answered, I raised one of my eyebrows and say

 

 

“Technical error? Blaming it on the machine eh? That’s why they still hire people to do the things machine can’t do. You have a lot of employees and yet no one checked or called them if they received it???” I asked her, I felt a nudge on my elbow and I know it’s from Anne-Unnie

 

 

“Sorry about that but I can assure you that everything is okay now..” she answered

 

 

“Really? Are you sure about that?” I asked her again

 

 

“Uhm okay! So Dara can you please give us our room keys so we can start to work in an hour or so..” I heard Cynthia said, I saw Dara nods her head while looking at her then I felt someone pulls me towards the corner

 

 

“What the hell are you trying to do, Chaerin?” Michael asked me

 

 

“Nothing, did I do something bad?” I asked him back,I saw him sigh then I remembered something

 

 

“Did you guys know that she’s working here?” I asked them again

 

 

“No, we don’t know and we don’t have any idea. We are shocked to see her here so don’t ever think that we planned this..” Sean-Oppa answered me again, I just look at them and I think they are telling me the truth

 

 

“Okay I believe you guys but I don’t want to work here..” I said

 

 

“Oh no! You can’t do that Chaerin! You already signed the contract..” Michael said to me

 

 

“Then I will give Bryan a call and tell him I’m pulling out my contract..”

 

 

“Damn you Chae! You can’t do this to us..” Anne said

 

 

“Watch me!” I answered then turn around, I saw Dara standing behind me with Grace and Cynthia

 

 

“Are you leaving?” she asked me

 

 

“So?” I answered her, Grace looks at me and give me a warning look

 

 

“But why?” she asked me again and this time I have this feeling that I’m losing my temper, I walk slowly towards her, I don’t know if she can see the anger in my eyes

 

 

“You want to know why?” I asked her

 

 

“Chaerin..” I heard Anne-Unnie’s voice but I ignored her

 

 

“Yes, I want to know..” she answered me, she’s not the Dara I used to know way back

 

 

“Because seeing you and being here with you makes my blood boils..” I said, I look at her straight into her eyes and waited on whatever she’s say to me but someone interrupt us

 

 

“Uhm, is there a problem here?” Bryan asked, I move a few steps back then Cynthia smiles at Bryan

 

 

“Ah no, no. We’re just ah talking kekeke..” she answered then I saw him looks at me

 

 

“Thank you for accepting the job I offered, Chaerin. I really need your help on this one guys, I won’t find someone who can help me with this and based on what Cynthia told me, you are the best IT Professionals in town” Bryan said, well my friends are all smiling but not me and I think he notice it

 

 

“I hope you won’t back out on me now, Chaerin. Please, I need you..” Bryan said to me, I know there’s nothing I can do anymore but I need  to do something so I won’t see her while I’m here

 

 

“You can count on me, Bryan..” I answered, he give me a smile then looks at my friends

 

 

“Okay then you guys can rest for a while, all the things you need is inside the IT Department room. Just ask Dara anything you need..” he said

 

 

“We will Bryan and thanks for trusting us..” Cynthia answered

 

 

 

 

UPSTAIRS

 

Chaerin throws her bags on the bed and look outside the window, her friends looks at her, no one dares to talk because they know that the situation they are now in is sensitive

 

 

“Chaerin-ah..” Anne called her youngest friend but she didn’t move nor look at them

 

 

“Don’t be mad at us. If we only know that she’s working here, I won’t accept Bryan’s offer. He just said Ms. Park and I didn’t conclude that it’s Sandara” Cynthia explained

 

 

“I know..” Chaerin answered

 

 

“We promise you that we will do anything we can and make sure that you won’t see her if that’s what you want..” Michael said, Chaerin looks at them then look down

 

 

“It’s impossible to do that. She’s the manager and me being the head of this team.. f**k this!” Chaerin answered

 

 

“Are you still mad at her? It’s been three years since you two broke up..” Sean asked her

 

 

Yeah 3 years, 3 f***ing years but still it’s fresh inside my heart and mind

 

 

“Tell me, how can I forgive her huh? For 7 years of being together, I gave her everything I had, time, money, I even chose her over my family but look where I am right now??” she said to them, she looks outside the window again and remembered the day Dara left her

 

****

Chaerin arrives at Dara’s place that day they will be celebrating their 7 years and 3 months of being together. She took a leave on her work to spend 3 days with Dara, she will ask her to marry her in the USA  by next month. When she reach Dara’s apartment, she saw her sitting on the couch waiting for her

 

 

“Hi by! (short for baby)” Chaerin said, Dara smiled at her and give her a hug, Chaerin hugs her back then gives her a kiss on the lips

 

 

“So where do you want to go?” Chaerin asked her but she saw Dara sighs

 

 

“Hey, is there something wrong?” Chaerin asked her again, this time Dara let go of her hands and walk towards the window

 

 

“Chaerin, we need to talk..” she said

 

 

“Uhm okay, what’s up?” Chaerin asked

 

 

“I know we’ve been together for more than 7 years now but we both know that we’re not going anywhere..” Dara said

 

 

“What do you mean?”

 

 

“Come on Chaerin. You know that I can’t give the things that you want and needed. This is one of the problems we are encountering for the past 7 years..”

 

 

“Yeah I know but I told you it’s okay..”

 

 

“It’s not okay! I’m being unfair to you..” Chaerin knows where this talk is heading so she walks towards Dara and hugs her from behind

 

 

“No baby, you’re not. Didn’t you notice that I’m adjusting to our situation right now. I do understand your side by..”

 

 

“I know you do and I know you’re finding a hard time. I know you a lot Chaerin, you might not telling me what’s inside your mind but I’m not a fool not to know..” Chaerin didn’t say a word

 

 

“I’m not happy with our relationship anymore. It’s not because I don’t love you anymore but I can’t be the girlfriend you want me to be..”

 

 

“What are you trying to say?” Chaerin asked her

 

 

“I want my freedom back. I want to have my normal life back before I met you..” Dara answered, Chaerin is shock to hear those things from her

 

 

“But Dara, i-I can’t give you that. You know I can’t live without you..” Chaerin said and starts to cry

 

 

“You can Chaerin. I don’t want to be a burden to you anymore. I know I can’t give you enough time and attention, I’m always busy with my work and my family. We hardly see each other these past few months and I know the situation is taking it’s toll on you..”

 

 

“No baby, I’m not asking anything from you in return. I-it’s okay if you don’t have time for me or we can’t see each other that often. I-I’m contented already by having you in my life, please don’t leave me..” Chaerin said and hug her again

 

 

“Chaerin please let me go..” Dara said and remove Chaerin’s hands on her

 

 

“I need to do this for you, Chaerin. I’m just thinking about you..” Dara added

 

 

“Think about me? Are you sure about that huh?” Chaerin asked her

 

 

“Yes, I’m doing this for you. I don’t want to hurt you anymore nor make you sad and cry. You don’t deserve someone like me, you deserve someone better than me..” Dara answered but still Chaerin don’t want to let go of her

 

 

“I don’t need anyone, Dara. You are enough for me. No one is better than you. Please let’s try this one more time..”

 

 

“No Chaerin. I want my freedom back, I have a lot of things I need to do with regards to my work and my family and being with you makes my life more complicated..” Chaerin was hurt to hear those words coming from Dara, she’s crying her heart out but she thinks that nothing can change Dara’s decision

 

 

“What do you want me to do huh so you will stay in my life?” Chaerin asked her

 

 

“There’s nothing you can do, Chae..” Dara answered, Chaerin look down

 

 

“Do you still love me, Dee?” she asked and that moment, Dara broke her heart into a million pieces after she says

 

 

“I don’t know anymore, Chaerin..”

 

****

 

“I loved her with all my heart. From the very start and until the end, all I did is to understand her situation. I gave everything all she needs, did the impossible things just to show my love for her is true. I even fight for our love but look what happened to me?” Chaerin asked her friends, she’s crying everytime she remembred how Dara gave up on their relationship

 

 

 

 

 

DOWNSTAIRS

 

DARA

 

After I saw Chaerin and her friends went inside the elevator, I walk as fast as I can towards my office and went inside. It’s funny how did I hold back my tears when she answered me

 

 

She’s still mad at me

 

 

And what do I expect? I left her did i? I broke her heart but I only did that for her

 

 

For her? Really Dara?

 

 

My tears starts to flow freely from my eyes, it’s good to see her again but at the same time it hurts to see the anger in her eyes

 

 

“Dara?” I heard Bryan’s voice, I wipe the tears on my faces and face him

 

 

“uhm yeah?” I answered

 

 

“You okay?” he asked me, I nod my head twice and give him a smile

 

 

“Then what’s with the sadness in your eyes?” I look down trying hard not to let a single tear escape my eyes

 

 

“I’m not sad, why should i?” I asked him, I saw him smiles at me then look outside the window

 

 

“It feels good to have someone loves you with all of their hearts, huh?” he asked me

 

 

“Ahm, I don’t know..” I answered

 

 

“You know what I’m talking about, Dara. That girl loved you with all of her heart, right?” I furrow my eyebrows when I look at him

 

 

“Who?” I asked him

 

 

“Chaerin..” he answered, I’m shock to know that Bryan knows about me and Chaerin

 

 

“How did you know?” I asked him

 

 

“I did some research and small world huh? I never thought that Cynthia is one of her closest friends..” I saw him looks at me

 

 

“I don’t know what happened between the two of you but all I can say is this..” he said to me

 

 

“You are still in love with her. The way your eyes sparkle even though she said hurtful words at you, it didn’t change a bit..”

 

 

“You heard that?”

 

 

“Yep! Loud and clear..”

 

 

“Well she’s mad at me..”

 

 

“There’s a reason why..”

 

 

“Yes there is..” Bryan sighs and we went silent for a while

 

 

“So what are you going to do now?”

 

 

“What do you mean?”

 

 

“Now that Chaerin is back in your life, what will you do to make her anger go away?”

 

 

“I don’t know.. I really don’t know..” Bryan stood up from his sit and walks towards me

 

 

“How long you two had been together?” he asked me

 

 

“More than 7 years. I broke up with her three years ago..” I answered, Bryan nods his head then sits beside me on the table

 

 

“3 years is enough to mend a broken heart but who knows what she’s feeling right now. You made  a mistake by letting her go, you don’t need to tell me how did I know because that’s what I sees in you for the past 3 years i‘ve known you.Don’t make that same mistake again..” he said to me, he stood up and walk towards the door but before he opens it, he look at me and said

 

 

“If you still loves her, win her back. Do anything you can to bring back that One True Love you had, don’t wait Dara or else it will be too late for you..” he added

 

 

Too late? I think it’s already too late

 

 

I look at the door where Bryan is standing a while ago then sits on the swivel chair and sigh

 

 

Is there a purpose why you bring her back in my life again? If ever I try to win her back and make her love me again, will she accept me?

 

 

A lot of questions are running inside my mind right now and I don’t have any answers to any one of those. Damn! I want to talk to someone right now, someone who could understands me and be there for me

 

 

Be there for me..

 

 

Chaerin’s been always there for me, thru thick and thin. Everytime I want to give up with my life and work, she’s the first one who will pulled me up and cheers me up even though she’s having a problem of her own

 

 

****

I was on my way home that day from a shift of 10pm to 6am. When I arrived at our apartment, I saw her fixing our bed and waiting for me

 

 

“There you are! So how was your night?” Chaerin asked her, Dara sighs and slump her body on the chair then looks at her gf

 

 

“Not good. I feel so stupid!” she answered, Chaerin walks towards her and sits in front of her, she squeezes Dara’s hand and ask

 

 

“What happened?”

 

 

“I made a mistake and my manager was so angry at me. I made an overpayment as what they called to the player..” Dara explains

 

 

“And then?” Chaerin asked her

 

 

“I know I didn’t overpay him. I was right with my calculations, I even repeated it inside my mind and I’m right..” she answered as tears starts to fall, Chaerin smiles and hugs her

 

 

“Then why are you crying?”

 

 

“Because It feels like I am a failure! That I didn’t do anything right with this job!” Dara starts to sob on Chaerin’s shoulder

 

 

“Hey baby stop crying..” Chaerin said then broke the hug, she place her right hands on Dara’s chin and look her straight to the eyes

 

 

“You’re not stupid, okay? You didn’t failed anyone. You are new to that job so it’s normal to made mistakes, it’s not a crime baby..” she said

 

 

“But if you only see her face, she told me that I’m giving her a hard time. I want to quit my job baby”

 

 

“My baby is not a quitter because she’s a fighter like me! And no, she’s not stupid because she’s so smart. You passed your training so it only means one thing, you deserve the job you had right now. Don’t pull yourself down because of what they are saying, if you know you are right then let them say whatever they want, don’t mind them. All you need to do if focus on the game and relax..” Chaerin said to her, Dara looks at her girlfriend and smiles

 

 

“Don’t give up now, okay? Because I’m not giving up on you. You can do this and no matter what happens, I’ll still be proud of you, Dara..” she added, Dara hugs her then cries

 

 

“Thank you for being there for me always, Chae. I won’t give up for you and for our future..” Dara said, Chaerin smiles and  broke the hug again

 

 

“That’s my girl. Now go change your clothes so we can eat. You need to sleep because you still have work tonight..”

 

 

“Okay, I love you..”

 

 

“I love you more..”

 

 

****

 

1 hour later..

 

Chaerin and her friends shares one big room at the hotel, partners like Sean-Michael and Cynthia-Grace are occupying the beds while Anne and Chaerin have their own mattress on the ground. Chaerin fell asleep because of her hang-over and for crying a while ago

 

 

“Are we going to wake her up or not?” Grace asked them while she’s looking at her friend, sleeping

 

 

“We need to. Bryan texted me and he told me that Chaerin needs to talk to Dara about the layout of the floors. She’ll be the one deciding where we will put the cctv cameras and access point n every floors..” Cynthia answered, they all know it will be hard for their friend to work while Dara is around

 

 

“Maybe we can talk to Dara later..” Sean said

 

 

“Talk about what?” Anne asked him

 

 

“That she needs to stay away from Chaerin while she’s here..” Sean answered

 

 

“We can’t do that though this hotel is so big, Dara’s the manager and Chaerin being the head of our team needs to talk to her sometimes..” Grace explained

 

 

“All we can right now is to be there for her, I think Dara won’t approach her again after what she said to her downstairs..” Michael said, they all went silent for a while and hopes that everything will be fine between their two friends

 

 

“Anyway let’s head downstairs, I will leave a note for her so she can find us when she wakes up..” Cynthia

 

 

 

 

DOWNSTAIRS..

 

 

Dara is talking to one of the employees when she saw them walking towards the IT Department but her eyes is looking for someone else, she’s looking if Chaerin is with them but she’s not. She excuse herself from the employee and proceed to the room then she knocks on the door

 

 

“Hi!” she said, smiling, the five of them looks at her and smiles, she then enters the room and look around

 

 

“Uhm so are you guys going to start working now?” she asked

 

 

“Yes Dara. This building is so big and Chaerin only gave us a month or two to finish it..” Cynthia answered

 

 

“I see..” Dara answered, the five senses that she might be looking for Chaerin

 

 

“She’s still sleeping..” Anne said

 

 

“Oh..”

 

 

“She’s tired and we decided not to wake her up but don’t worry she’s just taking a nap..” Michael added, Dara nods her head then looks down

 

 

“Uhm guys..” she said, Dara looks at each and one of them

 

 

“I’m sorry..” Dara added

 

 

“For what? For hurting and leaving our friend?” Cynthia asked her, Grace hit her partner’s arm then looks at Dara

 

 

“I didn’t mean to hurt her..” Dara answered

 

 

“Dara this is not the right place and time to talk about that, we know your sorry but don’t say that to us..” Anne said

 

 

“Yeah, I should be saying it to Chaerin but you being her friends and for accepting me as her girl in the past, I know that I hurt your feelings too, especially you Cynthia..”

 

 

“Well yeah, I know everything she’s been through Dara and you know if I only knew that will be working with you, we shouldn’t have signed that contract..” Cynthia said and went out of the room, Anne and Grace looks at each other and they walk towards to Dara

 

 

“Sorry about that, Dara..” Grace said

 

 

“It’s okay. She’s her best friend, every time we had a problem, she’ll be calling Cynthia. I understand if she is mad at me like Chaerin..” Dara answered, Grace and Anne didn’t said a word

 

 

“Uhm so how is she? I mean what’s going on with her life right now?” Dara asked again and when she looks at their eyes, she sees sadness in them

 

 

“Dara, you need to know something about Chaerin..” Grace answered

 

 

 

---

 

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