A low rumble sounds in the night, getting quicker and quicker, rattling over wooden sleepers as thick fog settles low over the streets. Sehun, with his pinked nose, looks up as the train speeds past an overhead bridge. He sighs. Living on his own has its perks - he could leave old, yellowing copies of Vogue and Rolling Stones magazines to pile around his bed, creating his own personal fortress, he could walk around shirtless, he could forego all forms of washing (his own body, the toilet, dishes, his clothes), but the train line that ran past and shook his little studio apartment was a little more than annoying. Then there was also the loneliness that encapsulated him when he returned to an empty, dark house.

He thanks the driver and watches as the yellow cab speeds down the road before he turns to climb up eight flights of stairs. The night is cold and dark, unusually so. Sehun thinks it’ll snow tomorrow (he claims he can predict this by the smell of the air) and he’s bitter about it. He doesn’t like snow, or the cold, but he supposes that with Christmas around the corner, it would be quite pretty. Unlocking his heavy wooden door, he is greeted by a small Christmas tree, lights dull and twinkling pathetically. He doesn’t bother turning on any of the lights - the sun will rise soon anyway, he reasons. Sehun’s job as an editor in a menial publishing firm is relentless, tiresome and almost not worth the effort. It’s gotten even worse lately, with the holiday season coming up. The extra hours he has to put in combined with the 50 minute commute to work means ridiculously late nights that leave him with an even hollower chest.

Rolling his neck to crack out the stiffened joints, he hauls himself up from the couch and pads toward his bathroom. A slim tie pulls away from a starched collar by even slimmer digits, travelling down to pop open the buttons of a blue work shirt. Sehun peels the day’s stress away, layer by layer, dropping them onto wooden floorboards, leaving a trail of garments. He fumbles through his vanity cupboard as he waits for steaming water to pour into the tub and after grappling blindly into his overfull cupboard, he finally secures his favourite lavender scented bath bomb.

Sehun often thinks that his bathtub is his most cherished possession. It’s certainly one of the more expensive pieces of furniture in his minute apartment. He’d picked up the beauty at an estate sale – a gold rimmed ceramic tub with brass clawed feet. The thought of soaking in it was often all that got him through the day. The holiday season has made Sehun even more nostalgic than usual and as he lays back in it now, he begins to reminisce. Sehun never had a problem keeping a body close to his, but they always came and went, never filling the loneliness that gaped in his soul. Seasons changed and people changed, but the absence of one person never did. Time could certainly change people and circumstances, he muses before fully submerging himself and closing his eyes.

♫

At the ripe age of 17, Sehun boasted a prestigious position at the world famous Brooklyn Academy of Music. Somewhat of a prodigy in violin, saxophone, guitar and dance, he was offered a full scholarship before his high school years were even over. Of course he accepted and his parents were ecstatic and proud of him, but accepting the offer meant moving away from home; away from New Jersey and away from his ill and weak mother. His father worked in a high position at one of the country’s top conglomerates which meant he had to travel regularly for business and his brother had moved out for college two years ago. Sehun leaving meant that his mother would be all alone.

“Mum, if I go, who will take care of you? Let me stay. I don’t mind,” he pleaded. Eventually, with the reassurances of many doctors, Sehun finally relented. But that didn’t stop him worrying about her and missing her every night.

♫

The academy is noisy. Very much so, with students chattering all down the hallways or running amuck in the lawns. Being a younger student and one who was shy and awkward at that, made Sehun feel lost and uncomfortable. He fumbles with his backpack as he tries to read his crumpled orientation map. Turning it this way and that, he still can’t make sense of it. “Are you new here too? I think I’m just as lost as you are,” comes a velvety voice.

Sehun looks up to meet a disarming grin and an equally charming face. “Yeah I guess you could say that,” he replies.
“Where are you headed?” the stranger asks.
“Practice room 3. I think…” Sehun looks down at his own map and timetable to confirm.
“Saxophone, huh? Not too many people play that these days. I guess I’m not one to talk though. My parents made me learn the harp. They said it was unique and special or something,” the boy chatters, rubbing his cheek as he does so. “My name’s Jongin by the way, and sorry, I didn’t mean to bombard you suddenly. You just looked lost and I’m lost and two heads are better than one?”

Sehun lets out a peal of laughter, head thrown back and sharp canines showing. “You do talk too much, but it’s nice. I’m Sehun and you are indeed correct about me not having a sense of direction. Seeing as you don’t either, I feel like it’s dangerous that we’re together,” he says back, amused.

“Well, I can’t deny that, Sir Sehun, but at least wandering together has lead us to this campus signboard. Seeing as you said you have no sense of direction, would you have been able to find this yourself?” Jongin questions smugly, arms crossed over his chest.
Sehun rolls his eyes. “Don’t flatter yourself stranger. We’re like 10 steps away from where we started.”

“That too is true Sir Sehun. But! At least I offered you some semblance of entertainment. You’re not frowning anymore, as compared to when I first saw you.”

“Well, thank you kindly Mr. Jongin,” Sehun smiled back gently.
“A smile suits you much better Sir Sehun! Now, best be on our way. Looks like I’m headed to where you are too. Which doesn’t really make sense seeing as you’re a brass instrument and I’m string but hey, who are we to question the academy’s organisation skills?”
“Actually, I’m enrolled in the strings section too. In the violin and guitar, as a matter of fact,” Sehun responds shyly.
“No way. I thought the academy limited instrument majors to two, and even that is a rarity in itself,” Jongin splutters out, shocked.

“I guess they thought I was special,” Sehun mutters back, rubbing his arm self-consciously. He didn’t want people to gawk at him or envy him and despise him because of jealousy. He’d had enough of that back in high school. It wasn’t easy being outgoing and confident when your classmates were constantly trying to undermine you. Because of this, Sehun’s confidence and self-belief had taken a huge blow. “Let’s just get going,” he says, before breaking out into a brisk walk.

“Hey, are you ok Sehun? You look a bit upset. I mean, you’re frowning again. Was it me? Was it something I said? Oh god, I’m so sorry. I can be too much of a chatter mouth sometimes and things just come out wrong and I’m doing it. I’m doing it again. I’ll just shut up now,” Jongin regurgitates all at once.
Sehun forces a smile. “I’m fine Jongin, really. It wasn’t you. I’m just a little awkward around new people. Around all people, actually.”

They continue forward, passing thick, manicured lawns, tall arching doorways and towering sandstone buildings before arriving in front of a thick, wooden door on large iron hinges. For an academy with historically magnificent architecture, Sehun is pleasantly surprised at how contemporary and modern the insides of the practice rooms are. Equipped with the latest projection and surround sound technology, coupled with the room’s excellent acoustics, Sehun could certainly see why the school was world renowned.

The two boys sit together in silence, listening as the instructor drones on about housekeeping rules and the academy’s policies. The first two hours occur in a daze, and soon the day is gone. Both part ways to their respective dormitories with grins on their lips, each other’s numbers in their pockets and warmer hearts. Sehun would never have thought that he’d been able to make a friend on his first day, knowing that students of the academy were competitive and guarded. He supposes it did help that Jongin had approached him first. Who knows how solitary Sehun would have been if he hadn’t. Jongin’s offhanded comments and jokes about their balding instructor was what made him sure he’d contact Jongin again.

The two are inseparable after that, both relying on each other for emotional and academic support. Weeks of the same routine speed past – Jongin and Sehun bickering over assignments, midnight runs to the food stand at the edge of the academy that served the godliest bacon and cheese fries, lounging in each other’s room watching sub-par horror movies and too immature comedy flicks.

Time has flown fast, months passing in a daze and one final collaboration project looms over them before they’re free to go home for the semester. The collaboration project sees Sehun and Jongin both forced to expand their friend circles. They finally talk to “that tall guy with elfish ears who’s freakishly good at guitar” in their strings class. The introduction of “I’m Chanyeol” is coupled with a wide smile and a deep voice.

“I still don’t understand why you couldn’t just have played guitar,” Jongin sulks. “Now we have to interact with people.”
“You know I’m nowhere near the level the other guitarists are at. That’s why I’m majoring in violin,” Sehun hisses back.
As it turns out, Chanyeol got along with them much better than they could’ve anticipated.

(“I guess he’s not that bad,” Jongin grumbles later on.
“Yeah? Are you were just saying that you and Chanyeol should get couple hats and jumpers,” Sehun snickers back.
“It’s not my fault we have similar clothing taste!)

With Chanyeol came Baekhyun, the pretty piano player with the most slender, elegant fingers Sehun had ever seen, and Kyungsoo, the wide eyed singer with a voice of honey.
Needless to say, with such a large group of talented musicians (the largest of any of the other groups), their collaboration projects went off without a hitch and they scored the highest out of their classes. With their good grades finalised, the group could finally relax and pack up a semester’s worth of memories.

♫

“Sehun, are you heading home for break?” Baekhyun, asks distractedly, drumming his fingers against the plastic of the cafeteria’s table top.
Sehun makes a noncommittal hum at the back of his throat, too busy sorting his soggy and crispy fries to properly process what Baekhyun had said.

“You’re from New Jersey, right?” Kyungsoo’s soft voice came.
Finally done, Sehun dusts the salt off his fingers and looks up. “Oh, yeah I am. From New Jersey, I mean. And I’m going back too. What about you guys?”

A round of detached “yeah, me too”s pass the table before Jongin’s whine brings everyone back to attention. “I can’t believe you won’t take me back with you! Guys he has a pool! And he won’t invite us!”
“Jongin, it’s close to winter. Why you would want to swim in an outdoor pool in this weather is beyond me,” Baekhyun comments, eyebrows raised.

“But a pool Baek! I don’t know anyone else who has a pool. I can’t believe you didn’t invite any one of us,” Jongin pouts.
Sehun rolls his eyes. “You’re unbelievable. Maybe I will in the summer. If I still like any of you, that is,” he replies, pushing his soggy fries towards Jongin.

“With the way you guys have your weird rituals like that fry thing, I doubt you’d be sick of each other anytime soon,” Kyungsoo snickers.
Sehun and Jongin pause their fry picking to shoot him a look of disgust, while Kyungsoo and Baekhyun share a knowing one.

With official classes and assignments at an end, and dramatic farewells and tears (all Jongin) over, Sehun could finally breathe a sigh of relief as he slumps against the train window, finally headed home. He pulls his phone out and taps out a quick

To: Mum
13:17pm
On the train now! See you in 3 hours. Love you (:

Before leaning back and closing his eyes, falling into a dreamless slumber.

Reunions with Sehun’s family were never like one pictured it to be. No emotional runs towards each other at the train terminal with open arms, no tears and bone crushing hugs, just Sehun hailing a cab towards his suburban home. Even then, the streets were quiet and empty, lights barely lit. Hardly a soul knew or rejoiced a prodigy’s return, and Sehun wouldn’t want it any other way. As he walks up his driveway and porch, his full duffle bag thumps against his side and suitcase rattles behind him.

When he reaches the doorbell, he hesitates, finger hovering over the button. His heart thumps at the thought of reuniting with his family. Before he could even draw in a deep breath to gather his nerves, the frosted door swings open.
“Hey lil brother,” a smiling face greets.
“Hey,” Sehun greets back breathlessly, knuckles bouncing against his brother’s proffered fist.
“Glad you didn’t forget our traditional fist bump,” he says, ruffling Sehun’s hair as they walk into the house together.
“How could I? We’ve been doing this our whole lives,” Sehun grumbles back.

“Is that my Sehun?” a soft voice echoes throughout the house.
“It is!” the brothers both chorus back before bursting out into laughter.
A middle aged woman waddles down the hallway, wiping her hands onto a stained blue apron as she goes. “My sons,” she coos, cradling their faces in each palm. “It’s so good to have you home.”
Both looked at her with soft, loving eyes and clutch her hand in theirs. “Dinner smells delicious mum,” Sehun says. “Come, sit. You shouldn’t be standing for so long.”
“I’m ok Sehun. Really! I made your favourites. Both you and your brother’s. Anything for my two angels,” she laughs, eyes twinkling.

Dinner is a grand affair with a multitude of soups, piping hot rice and fried meat. Sehun feels the tears pooling in his eyes at the first bite. A mother’s home cooked food certainly was on a different spectrum to that of watery, bland cafeteria food. “Mmm delicious,” he mumbles before shovelling slice after slice of pork belly into his mouth. Laughs pass round the table as both brothers recount tales of their time apart, exchanging differences and similarities in their lives.

After the family is full and the laughter had trickled away, Sehun sits curled up on his favourite leather couch with his head in his mother’s lap, her his hair.
“You don’t tell me much about school Sehun. I want to hear more!”
“Didn’t I just tell you plenty, mum?”
His mother raises an eyebrow. “If you teasing your brother about everything he said was telling me about school then please, don’t go on. Spare me.”
Sehun flushes. “I texted you plenty during the term!”

A look of irritation passes his mother’s features and he knew it was time to relent. “Tell me about your friends then,” she says.
“Well…,” he starts, trailing off in contemplation. “I met this guy on the very first day of school. We sort of became best friends after that. Let’s see… how do I describe him…To start off, he’s an obsessive Yankee’s fan. He dragged me to their home game in the middle of finals week and began to cry when I said no. He cries a lot actually, mum. He listens to really weird music. His favourite band is Cat Power. Doesn’t that sound odd? And he always falls asleep in my room uninvited. He’ll be watching baseball while I do my homework and he’s just so distracting. He has really weird habits too. He takes off his shirt while he’s asleep! And doesn’t realise in the morning! And he only eats soggy fries! Unbelievable, right?”

Sehun’s mum smirks down at him. “I asked about friends, son, emphasis on the plural, but this boy does sound nice too. Does he have a name? Invite him home sometime.”
“I- um sorry. I guess I got a bit carried away…” Sehun replies, cheeks flushed and embarrassed.
“Seems like you and this boy are really close.”
“I guess? I mean I have other friends too! I just… like Jongin the most?” he stutters out, pushing himself into an upright position.
“I really have no problem with whoever you like Sehun. Just bring him home to meet me next time ok?” she asks, patting his cheek.
“W-wait. Mum! It’s not like that. Really! He’s just a close friend.”
“Sehun, when you’re out of your self-denial, let me know,” she chuckles. “Now, I wonder how your brother is going with those dishes,” she pats her thighs and stands up, shuffling her way towards the kitchen.

Sehun huffs, letting his head fall back and bounce off the couch before pulling out his phone.

To: Jongin (Stupidhead)
21:42pm
Hey dickwad, my mum thinks I have a crush on you. Gross??


His phone pings back not a minute later.


From: Jongin (Stupidhead)
21:43pm
In case you can’t tell, I’m totally cackling right now. What happened?


To: Jongin (Stupidhead)
21:44pm
She asked about school and I told her about you and your stupidness.


From: Jongin (Stupidhead)
21:44pm
Awh aren’t you cute. Miss me already? (‘:


To: Jongin (Stupidhead)
21:45pm
Definitely not?? At least my room won’t stink of feet now.


From: Jongin (Stupidhead)
21:47pm
Wow you are very offensive.
I know you have some cute nickname for me on your phone ok. Don’t even lie.


To: Jongin (Stupidhead)
21:47pm
Yeah. It’s stupidhead for your stupid head.


From: Jongin (Stupidhead)
21:49pm
See? Cute.
Why are you even texting me? Go spend time with your family.


To: Jongin (Stupidhead)
21:50pm
Lol bye then.


From: Jongin (Stupidhead)
21:50pm
Lmao laters loser.


From: Jongin (Stupidhead)
21:54pm
I do think you’re totally cute btw


From: Jongin (Stupidhead)
21:56pm
Jussayin


From: Jongin (Stupidhead)
22:01pm
Bc I am definitely not crushing on you. You’re just cute sometimes.
Bye.


To: Jongin (Stupidhead)
22:03pm
…
we will talk about this later bc I’m definitely not cute


To: Jongin (Stupidhead)
22:06pm
…
You’re really gross


“Sehun? Are you done smiling to yourself now? Come have dessert now. I made apple crumble,” his mum calls.
“Coming!” he shouts back, pocketing his phone.

The next few days are spent catching up with his brother, shopping and eating with his mother and feeling warm and full again. All too soon, just as Sehun feels like he’s getting back into the swing of things, living with his family again, he has to leave. His heart nearly breaks when he realises his mother will be all alone again. “Will you be ok?” he asks time and time again.
“I’ll be fine Sehun. Your dad will be home next week and you’re just a phone call away. Stop fretting!” she reassures him like she always does, ending the conversation with a pat to his cheek.

The next day, Sehun’s luggage is packed and he sniffs back tears as he stands, once again, on his porch.
“I’ll call you every night,” he promises.
“You always do. Quite frankly, you could probably lessen the frequency. You always call in the middle of my dramas,” his mum scowls.
“Come on little bro. Don’t you know the doctor said mum’s health has improved anyway?” his brother chimes in.
“Yeah. That’d be right. Must be because I don’t have you two rascals stressing me out every day anymore!”
Sehun finally cracks a smile. “See you soon mum. I’ll Skype when I can.”
“Let’s go, Mr Sappy,” his brother says, hooking an arm around his shoulders and dragging him along. “I’ll call you soon too mum. Love you!” he blows a kiss with his free hand and shoves Sehun into their waiting taxi.

Sehun waves sadly out the window until their little paradise is but a speck amongst the twists and turns of streets and other houses.

♫
 

“Sooooo,” Baekhyun drags out. “How was break?”
Sehun shrugs noncommittally.
“Miss me? Or anyone else?” he presses.
“What are you trying to get at?” Sehun side eyes him.
“Nothing! Just thought that since we were such great friends you’d have felt an inkling, perhaps a twinge of heartache.”
“Baekhyun…the only heartache I’m experiencing is the heartache of you being so dim. Really, my thoughts go out to you man.”
Sehun’s words are met with a hit to his shoulder and a scowl. “You’re such a , Oh Sehun.”
“What can I say? The sassiness was passed down through the Oh family gene.”

A single screech echoes through the silent dorm hallways. “SEHUNNNNNNNNNNNNN. YOU’RE BAAAAAAAAAAACK!!”
Sehun and Baekhyun both flinch away from the open doorway they rest against, hands flying up to cover their ears from the banshee-like sound. A lean body crashes into Sehun’s tall frame, successfully knocking his disoriented self to the ground.
“Ow! Jongin, what the f-“ he screams, rolling around in pain.
“How was break? I missed you man!” comes the enthusiastic reply as Jongin tries to pull the other into an awkward full body hug, legs coming up in an attempt to wrap around Sehun’s own.

“Please get off me I can’t breathe. Jongin. Jongin!” Sehun wheezes, attempting to wriggle to get out from under the boy on top of him. He flops back helplessly, realising that he was pinned to the ground due to the sheer (fatness) weight of Jongin’s body.
“Well, um while you guys on the floor, I’ll just take off. Laters,” Baekhyun says, pointing behind him towards the elevators.
“Bye Baek!” Jongin beams back, having successfully manoeuvred Sehun into a backhug position.

Unwinding Jongin’s arms, Sehun hastily gets up, cheeks flushed red. He blames it on the heating in his room and refuses to acknowledge the firm press of Jongin’s body against his. He coughs awkwardly, pretending to fret over the décor of his room and his luggage. “Why are you here? Don’t tell me you’re already done unpacking, because I know exactly how much you packed… and there’s no way you’re already done. Unless you dumped everything all over the floor again and the only reason you’re here is because you have no space to sit and watch baseball. Therefore you must be here for one thing and one thing only…. My nice big laptop…”
“Right on the head Oh Sehun. Accuracy 100%! No wonder we’re the best of friends,” Jongin grins, snuggling himself into Sehun’s duvet.

Sehun rolls his eyes, letting out an insufferable sigh and steeling himself for another semester of antics.

♫

Fingers numb and permanently etched with the indents of violin strings, Sehun holds a final vibrato, bow bouncing gently before he collapses onto the ground, exhausted. He holds his hand up to the light, examining the peeling skin on his fingers before bringing his palm down to cover his face. Their solo performance examination was coming up and with Sehun’s double instrument major; all-nighters and bone deep exhaustion are just the tip of the iceberg.

He’d awaken every morning, proceed through his classes mindlessly before locking himself up in one of the small practice rooms for the rest of the day (and night). Smooth jazz notes would be blown through the wooden mouthpiece of his saxophone until his throat was raw before he’d switch to his violin, sliding nimble fingers along the neck until the skin was torn and bleeding. Sehun’s somewhat thankful he didn’t choose a double major in string. He doesn’t think he’d have fingers anymore if he’d had chosen guitar as his second major. Head fuzzy and eyes drooping, Sehun nearly misses the discreet buzz of his phone.

From: Jongin (Stupidhead)
1.37am
Are you still alive?


From: Jongin (Stupidhead)
1.37am
Just passed by your room on the way to mine and it’s lacking the usual kawaii voices of Japanese anime girls.


From: Jongin (Stupidhead)
1.38am
Have you eaten? I can be there in 15 with takeout if you haven’t.


To: Jongin (Stupidhead)
1.39am
Why are you still awake? Did you just finish practice too?


From: Jongin (Stupidhead)
1.50am
Yeah I did. Sorry, was in the shower. My fingers feel like they’re ripping apart.


To: Jongin (Stupidhead)
1.52am
Don’t worry about food then. I’m heading back now. Goodnight.


From: Jongin (Stupidhead)
1.53am
At least snack when you get back. Don’t go to bed on an empty stomach. Sleep tight.

♫

The next time anyone sees Sehun is a week before solos. He’s hunched over, body sagging and face about to plough into his scrambled eggs and toast.
“You look like ,” Kyungsoo tells him hoarsely, setting down his own breakfast tray.

Eyes rimmed with dark circles turn to meet his own tired ones.
“You’re one to talk, Do Kyungsoo,” Sehun responds tiredly.
Kyungsoo’s eyebrow knits, about to retort before Chanyeol barges in, bowl full of milk and cereal wobbling haphazardly. Chanyeol covers Kyungsoo’s small face with his larger palm, shushing him in the process.
“Don’t talk Soo, don’t strain your voice anymore.”

Annoyed, Kyungsoo shrugs off Chanyeol’s hand before making a zipping motion across his lips mockingly.
“Hey Sehun, how’s the solo project going?” Chanyeol asks, tucking his long legs under the cafeteria table.

He replies with a noncommittal shrug. “My throat constantly hurts and the tips of my fingers are all torn to hell but hey, could be worse. At least I can still talk, vocal majors have it hard.” He glances sympathetically towards Kyungsoo who nods in agreement out of self-pity.

“You’d be right about the fingers. Broke way too many strings in the past two weeks. Nearly took my eye out. Same goes for Jongin - can’t imagine it’d be easy restringing a harp,” Chanyeol chatters on, messily spooning his breakfast into his mouth (and missing more often than not).

At the mention of this name, Sehun perks up. “Yeah? How’s he going? Haven’t heard from him in a while.”
Kyungsoo snorts into his granola mixture. “Not surprised,” he rasps out. “No one’s seen you for a good month. You haven’t been around campus or even the dorms. It’s like you’ve relocated your quarters to the practice rooms.”

“Look Sehun,” Chanyeol cuts in softly. “We were really worried about you. Your practice schedule isn’t healthy. We get that you’re a full scholarship student and that you’re worried you might compromise your position, but this needs to stop. Solos are next week and at this point, you’ll burn out. Take a few days off, get out of campus. And take Jongin with you! He’s faring no better than you are.”
“We’re serious kid. We’ll take your instruments by force if we have to.” Kyungsoo whispers threateningly (well, as threateningly as possible for someone with no voice).

Understanding the gravity of their words and realising his poor health and situation, Sehun mumbles out an agreement.

For the first time in a long time, Sehun is smothered in soft fluffy pillows and blankets, snoozing softly atop his bed. Having taken heed of his friend’s advice, he had foregone any form of practice today to return to his (now dusty) room for a much needed nap. A series of short, quick raps to his door stirs him and he barely manages to mumble a “Come in” before he’s stumbling out of bed, body swathed in layers of blankets. Eyes bleary and hair mussed, he stands face to face with his best friend.

“Jongin man, whas’ sup?” he yawns out.
“The boys told me they’d had a chat with you and that I’d find you here,” Jongin replies, toeing around Sehun’s swaying body to sit on the edge of his bed. “It’s a good idea you know. We should get out of here for a while. I’m this close to driving myself mad.”
“Ok, well where would we go?” Sehun asks, rubbing his eyes.
Jongin hums quietly, turning the question over in his mind.
“You haven’t seen much of Brooklyn since you’ve been here, have you?”
Sehun shakes his head.

“Then… let’s go to Coney Island! I haven’t been to an amusement park in ages. There should be fireworks on the beach tomorrow night too,” Jongin spurts out excitedly.
Still in his daze, Sehun fails to respond.
“You… don’t tell me you’re scared of rides, are you?”
“What? No! I’m really good on rollercoasters and stuff,” the sleepy boy huffs back.
“Ok then. I’ll pick you up from here tomorrow morning. It’s not too far, only half an hour by train.”
Nodding in agreement, Sehun waves him off, pushing towards to door. “Yeah, yeah, it’s a date then. I’m going back to sleep now. Get out.”

The door slams shut into Jongin’s surprised face and Sehun’s already half asleep before he’s fully back onto his bed.
“Oh Sehun! You’re such a princess!” a voice yells before the world turns black and soft snores echo around the room.

♫

Fairy floss and tickets in hand, the duo wander around the attraction area, squinting at this and that through tinted sunglasses. The sun beams brightly overhead and a warm, balmy breeze blows in from the sea.

“What’s good here?” Sehun asks. “Obviously I’ve never been before.”
Jongin grins cheekily back at him. “Oh Sehun, I sure hope you’re not a screamer because today, we’ll be going on that.” He points above them and Sehun’s eyes travel up, up, up.
“The Cyclone Rollercoaster… Wow. Way to be original,” Sehun says, single eyebrow raised in judgement. He hands his fairy floss over to Jongin before cracking his knuckles. “You’re on.”

As it turns out, Sehun trills in laughter throughout the ride as Jongin screams his lungs out, hair whipping wildly and eyes tearing from the wind. (“You should’ve been a singer. That’s some lung capacity you got there man, thought you’d never stop. My left ear drum is still ringing.” Sehun tells him later.) They ride a variety of spinners, scream towers and more rollercoasters, smiles on their faces all the while. The two move on to the bumper cars after, where they race and crash into each other until they’re sure their stomachs bear bruises from the safety bar. Later, Jongin suggests riding the big Wonder Wheel. Sehun’s only reply is a look before Jongin backs off, saying “You’re right, you’re right. That’d be super couple-y and weird.”

The rest of the day is spent peering through warped glass into giant fish tanks at the aquarium and they finally leave without seeing the entirety of it when Sehun whines for food, ankles already making a plea to detach themselves from his legs.
They end up sitting along the boardwalk as the sun begins to set, munching on Coney Island’s famous hot dogs. Sehun bumps shoulders with Jongin.

“Hey,” he says. “Thanks for this, really. It was great to de-stress.”
Jongin smiles back bashfully before mumbling something about getting mustard on his face.
“And thanks,” Sehun continues. “For being a great friend too. I’ve decided that I do like you enough for you to come back with me for summer break.”

At the mention of summer break, Jongin’s head shoots up. “Really? I can come use the pool?”
Sehun sighs in mock sadness. “You only like me for material things.”
“Thanks not true,” Jongin laughs. “You’re cute too.”
Sehun scrunches up his face, throwing out a “whatever” before he’s tugging Jongin up, ready to go again.

“You know the history of Coney Island don’t you?” Jongin asks as they manoeuvre their way through hungry diners and sun-baked beachgoers.
The other shrugs. “Well yeah, vaguely. The birthplace of hot dogs, the home of freaks. Something like that, right?”
“There’s a museum of sorts about the place up ahead. I think it even has a mirror maze or something.”
“Sounds good. Lead the way,” Sehun gestures forward.
“Warning, dimly lit with moving displays. May not be suitable for pregnant women, individuals with a weak heart or similar health conditions,” Sehun reads aloud from the centre’s sign. “Jongin, you didn’t tell me this would be scary.”

Jongin blinks back at him. “It isn’t. At least, from the last time I’ve been here I don’t think it is. We can leave if you want though? The fireworks are starting fairly soon anyway.”
“Nah, I trust you. We’re here anyway, might as well check it out.”

They push open the glass door, entering the dark building. Wax figures and wooden displays line the corridor. A wooden replica of a man with three arms sits in a glass box, illuminated by a single spotlight. Photographs and posters of big, bearded women hang upon the wall as well as masks of clown’s painted faces, mouths open in an exaggerated laugh, eye holes empty.
“Jongin, this place give me the creeps,” Sehun says, shivering slightly.The other nods in reply, wrapping an arm around Sehun’s shoulders. “Yeah. I know what you mean. It’s making me nervous. Let’s go. The exit’s not far.”

A sinister laugh crackles throughout the room, just as Jongin and Sehun reach the exit. A set of lights come on, as well as a slow, music-box like tune. A small clown doll on a bicycle circles next to them on a toy train track. Puppets drop from the ceiling as the laughter loudens and the lights flash. The dolls begin to move around the duo, as if in a waltz of their own. While Jongin stares, fascinated, appreciating the theatrics, he feels Sehun’s heartbeat and breath quicken. He looks over and see’s the other boy’s terror stricken face, knees about to buckle. “Jongin,” he gasps out. “I can’t breathe. I need…- out…- help…-“

Sehun pulls away from Jongin, frantically pounding against the exit door. In his haze of terror, he doesn’t feel the doorknob and resorts to clawing at the peeling paint, screaming for help. Jongin snaps out of his trance, quickly shoving the door open and pulling Sehun out into the crisp night air. Immediately, Sehun collapses on the sidewalk, breaths coming out erratically as he chokes backs sobs.

“Oh my god. Sehun, Sehun! Are you alright?” Jongin asks, rushing over to bundle him into his arms. “I’m so sorry. Are you ok? I didn’t know.” Sehun’s tense body relaxes upon contact and he turns to bury his face in between the junction of Jongin’s neck and chest.

The two sit crouched there until Sehun’s breathing finally levels off. Jongin leans back, peering intently at Sehun’s sweaty face, reaching over to push sweaty hair away from his eyes. Still scared, Sehun’s body follows Jongin’s, not wanting to break skin on skin contact.

Off to the side, the manager of the museum stands worriedly. Seeing as Sehun had slightly recovered, she rushes over, helping to pull the two boys into standing positions. “Young man, are you alright?”
A nod of reassurance from Sehun has her spewing apologies. “I’m awfully sorry for the terror that you experienced back there. The exhibit that you turned into was The horrors of Coney Island and was supposed to be sectioned off until next week’s opening in light of the new thriller movie coming out. The maintenance personnel must have forgotten to clip the barriers back into place after they finished installing the exhibit. I cannot apologise enough and I know this doesn’t compensate for our wrongdoing, but I’d like to offer you both these coupons for a free dinner at the restaurant two stores down and for lemonade at the lemonade stand.”

“Actually we just ate, and I don’t think I could stomach a meal. But I’ll take you up on that drink offer,” Sehun smiles at her weakly.
Another round of apologies and Jongin gently ushers Sehun toward the train station. Still slightly shaky, Sehun tightly threads his fingers through Jongin’s.

“Sorry I don’t feel great enough to stay for the fireworks. I know you wanted to see them,” Sehun says guiltily. Looking at him softly, Jongin pushes stray hair away from Sehun’s forehead before giving his hand a squeeze. “Hey, no big deal. I’ve seen them before anyway.”

As they board the train and secure seats in the carriage, Sehun begins to Jongin why he had reacted in such a manner. Leaning his head against Jongin’s shoulder, he begins to explain.
“I had a bad experience with clowns when I was a kid. I think I was like 4? Or 5? I was at an older cousin’s birthday party. You know, the typical ones with the big bouncing castles and too much cake. I remember seeing the clown’s face painted with a big, fake smile. Children don’t understand that, you know? They feel threatened and unsettled that they’re not able to see actual emotions and the person’s real face, which scares them. So I started crying - like really crying, with snot running down my face, and hiccupping and wailing. Obviously startled, the clown tried to carry me and comfort me with that ever-smiling face of his, which made me even more scared. I think I had nightmares for weeks after, and now I have an extremely irrational fear of clowns.”

Jongin chuckles. Offended, Sehun lifts his head, scowling. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. You’re just cute, that’s all. And hey, if it helps, I have an irrational fear of dolls. My sisters let me watch Chucky with them when I was really young. I begged my mum to throw all their dolls out after that and wouldn’t sleep in the same room as them anymore,” Jongin explains.
Confused, Sehun asks, “But don’t you sleep with a teddy bear?”

Jongin groans, covering his face with his palms. “No one was supposed to find out about that! And teddy bears are not scary dolls… they’re cute.”
It’s Sehun’s turn to laugh and at the melodic sound, Jongin peeks through his fingers.“You’re cute,” Sehun quips back. “And thanks, once again. For always having my back.”
“I’ll always have your back. I’ll be here to protect you if you need me to and hold you like I had to back there, you big baby.”
“And in turn, I promise to never buy you dolls.”

They sit in silence for the remainder of the return trip, fingers still intertwined as they watch the fireworks spark the sky in the distance.

♫

Refreshed after the outing, Sehun shuts himself away once again, practicing with a renewed vigour. Predictably, he aces his solos and keeps his track record of straight A’s. Jongin likewise tops his class and their friends send them messages of congratulations and support.

Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo sit around the rectangle cafeteria table, waiting as Sehun and Jongin approach.
“Looks like the date worked out then?” Chanyeol hollers obnoxiously upon seeing their threaded fingers.
“What date?” Jongin asks. “The big baby just needs warmth and skin contact.”

“Yeah. As if I’d ever go out with Jongin, gross,” Sehun retorts back.
Baekhyun shares another knowing look with Kyungsoo before coolly asking. “Then I don’t suppose you’re inviting him back for summer break, are you?”
“Have to now. Mother already threatened to not feed me if I didn’t,” Sehun sniffs back.
“I knew you’d still like each other long enough to go back together for summer,” Kyungsoo smirks.
“Yeah, yeah,” Sehun waves off. “You’re all welcome to join us if you nerds have nothing better to do.”
“You better not regret saying that, Oh Sehun,” Baekhyun warns, eyes narrowing in mischief.
Sehun snorts. “Bite me, Byun Baek.”

“I’ll be going back to visit my parents for a few weeks,” Chanyeol chimes in. “But I’ll join you once they get bored of me.”
Everyone else nods in agreement.
“Well then, here’s to having had a fantastic year, great friends, and an even better summer to come,” Sehun toasts, lifting his bottle of Sprite.

“And here’s to cute best friends who know better than to ask each other to be boyfriends because we’d rather not die of embarrassment,” Jongin whispers, tickling the hair around his ear.
Sehun lets out a loud laugh. “Kim Jongin, when did you get so cheesy?” he scolds.

“I did have Cheetos for breakfast,” Jongin replies, purposely breathing heavily into Sehun’s face.
The latter swats him away but Jongin chuckles, leaning in to peck him softly on the cheek.
“Oh my god, you better not be this gross throughout summer,” Baekhyun screeches.
“Jongin was always gross though, weren’t you Jongin?” questions Sehun.
“Whatever you guys. I’m out. I’ll see you over summer! Happy packing!” Baekhyun says, pulling Kyungsoo and Chanyeol up with him.

“See you guys! And happy summer!” Jongin calls back.
Looking around to make sure they’ve left, Sehun swoops in to quickly peck Jongin’s lips. “It’s ok. I quite like cheese,” he grins. “And I’m also looking forward to seeing you shirtless.”

Jongin throws his head back, guffawing before moving in to pepper kisses all over Sehun’s face.

♫

As Sehun walks hand in hand with Jongin back to his room, he supposes the academy isn’t as bad as he thought it would be. He wasn’t expecting to come away with a group of great friends and a lifetime of memories. Now he has an entire summer to look forward to with his family and his best (boy) friend and another year to do it all again. Sehun wonders why he ever doubted himself, ever doubted coming here. Looking up at the buildings on the campus, Sehun thinks, he wouldn’t trade this for the world.

☆ don't worry! it's not over yet! this is just part 1 of a 5 part series. for anyone's that's confused about the start, don't worry, the story will circle back to that later.

☆ i don't go to BAM, don't really know anything about it or Coney Island either, so i'm extremely sorry if i've butchered the places or have offended anyone.