I was never meant to sit on this throne.  I was not the one groomed to lead these people but here I am at what some would call the top.  But this was never what I wanted; I wanted none of this.  This, This is not a life. This is a half-life, a torture forced upon me. Once the title of beloved son was something I coveted. Now it’s just a burden, it’s a numbing frost sweeping over my thoughts into my very soul.  While my father may have felt he has groomed me to take over and enhance his legacy, never will that happen. I will destroy everything he has built and remove his name from history. As he has removed all that I hold dear; so shall I destroy what he holds most precious, his place in history.   

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It’s a memory, an illusion that refuses to be shattered, feeling of home, of belonging or being cherished and loved. Many have tried to replace this longing to give it their name and face.  I don’t know who it is or where they are but I know I am not where I am meant to be.  I will find my place again.  I will find out where I come from and where I belong. Never again will anyone tell me my place.  I will control my destiny and find out who is this person my heart seems to be calling for. 

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All I ever wanted was what was mine. As a child, my father promised me the world.  He gave me every material thing I ever wanted.  He even gave me the husband I wanted. But that didn’t give me his heart and I want all of him. I won’t be satisfied until I have all of him.  He should love no one more than me, no one.  I refuse to let anyone take my rightful place in his heart.

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Jar of Hearts - Christina Perri