I'm standing in front of the stage hoping for him to see me tonight. I want him to look at me only and I know my hope is impossible to be true when I have to compete with other VIPs. I hold tightly the yellow stick and waving it while shouting his name.

 

"Dear God, please make him look at me tonight. Make him notice that I'm here. I just want him to look at me and smile at me even for a second" I pray silently in my heart. I close my eyes to make sure my pray will be accepted. 

 

Somehow, I couldn't fathom why I'm so emotional tonight. I've been to his concert before and I just like other VIPs but tonight I feel that I really want him to look at my way. I want his eyes meet my eyes. I know my request sounds ridiculous but I can't help it. 

 

"KIM EUNJI! LOVE YOU!"  

I open my eyes slowly when I heard his voice from the stage. My heart thumps so hard when he said those three words. The audience screaming and shouting. My head feels dizzy but I try to standing still. 

 

"Come here, sweetheart" 

 

He points his finger to me and gesture it to be with him on the stage. All eyes are fixing on me and they look at me fiercely. The girls who are standing behind push me to the stage. I earn death glares and my ears could hear nasty words from the girls but I still could hear encouraging words from others. 

 

I manage to get on the stage safely. I smile awkwardly to the audience and I feel so tiny standing beside the man that I adore will all my heart, G-Dragon. Once again, my heart thumps so hard when he holds my hand and kiss it.  I just want him to look at me and not all this sweet gestures from him. He would kill me within a second with his action or the VIPs will kill me once I get down from the stage. 

 

"Do you love me, Eunji?" he asks me. 

 

I look at him confusingly. Why must he ask me that question in front of the audience? 

"Do you love me, baby?" he asks me again but this time he calls me 'baby'. 

He caresses my cheek and looks at me sadly. I bite my lower lip and turn to see the VIPs. They are smiling at me while waiting for my answer. I'm so confused cos just now they seemed to hate me but now they are smiling at me. 

 

"Tell him! Do you love him?" 

 

Suddenly, a little girl comes out of nowhere, asks me. Then the rest of the audience shout 'tell him' in unison. I nod my head twice. I open my mouth to tell him but my voice is not coming out. 

 

"I can't hear you, Eunji. Say it out loud" 

 

I take a deep breath then say it out loud but still my voice is not coming out. GD eyes are b with tears and I already sobbing and holding his hand tightly.

 

"We can't hear you! Say it out loud!" The girls shout and some of them throw the yellow sticks to the stage. 

 

"I understand if you're not ready, Eunji. I got to go, sweetheart" 

GD walks to the edge of the stage but I quickly hugs him from the back and pull him away from the edge

. I want to speak but I couldn't. I could onlyk cry to express my feeling. 

 

"Goodbye, baby" he says.

He turns to look at me and pushes me away from him. I fall and try to catch him but he jumps to the audience and leave me alone on the stage. Just in a split second darkness envelopes the stage and all of them gone. 

 

"JIYONG!!! I LOVE YOU!"

 

Finally, I gain back my voice but it's too late. He's already gone before hearing my answer. All I can do is crying a river. I curl my body in fetus position and saying that I love him again and again. 

 

 

 

 

"Eunji" 

I hear his voice calling me but I shake my head. I know it's not real. 

"Baby....open your eyes...Kim Eunji" 

He shakes my shoulder then touches my cheek. I shake my head and close my eyes tightly. I feel he lifts my body and hugs me tight while calling me 'baby' and my name. 

"You are having a nightmare. Open your eyes, baby...I'm here"

I could feel his hand caressing my arm and he is non stop kissing my face. I don't want to open my eyes because I am afraid he will leave me again.

 

 "Aigoo, baby. I know you miss me and now I'm here. Please open up your eyes"

 

 

"I love you, Jiyong. Please don't leave me" I tell him once I open my eyes. I want him to hear my answer before I lost my voice again. 

 

"I love you too, baby. I won't leave you. Look, I'm sorry for picking up a fight with you. I shouldn't mad at you"

 

I try to digest his words but my brain is functioning a bit slow at this moment. Sorry. Fight. Mad. What is he talking about?

 

"I know I shouldn't questioning your love for me. I was so mad when I saw you talked with your ex at the lobby. I am sorry, baby" he plants a soft kiss on my frowning forehead. 

 

Now I remember! He was mad at me and we fought before we got to sleep. He just got back from the Dome Tour and I missed him like crazy but he ignored me and slept on the couch. He left me on the bed alone. No wonder I got a nightmare. I get up and free myself from his hug then climb down from the bed. I take the water bottle on the vanity table and chug it down.

 

"Brian will get married next month, Jiyong and he invited me and my boyfriend to be at his wedding. But I told him, I will bring my sister" I tell Jiyong without looking at him then I walk to the bathroom. 

 

I splash some water to my face and stare at my own reflection. How long I have to hide my own boyfriend from the public? I ask myself with a fake smile on my face. After few minutes, I walk out from the bathroom and I see Jiyong is sitting on the bed and facing to my direction. Once he sees me, he gets up and walks to me. He smiles widely at me then places his hands on my back. 

 

"I'll come with you. Tell me when is the date and I'll make sure no schedule for me on that date. I want your ex to know that I am your boyfriend. Now, let's go to bed" 

 

"Really??! I am not dreaming, right?" I ask while cupping his face. 

 

"You are not dreaming, sweetheart!" 

In a jiffy, he lifts me up and carries me to bed and I scream  .

 

"Ji....." I look at him who is so eager to see me . 

 

"I miss you, baby....I want you so bad"

He says before continuing his favorite exercise in the wee hour. I could say I LOVE this kind of exercise too.