Luhan regretted two things in his life; meeting Oh Sehun and falling in love with Oh Sehun.

***

5 YEARS AGO Luhan was disowned by his parents and went to Korea with only little money. He slept on the cold streets of Seoul and ate whatever he could get his hands on to survive. It was hellish and he thought he was going to die in a foreign country with a language he barely knew.

But in the midst of all the pains and starvations and sleepless nights he met Ken.

They met while Luhan was picking up some plastic bottles and used cans to sell to some factory (he learned the hard way that in Korea they can sell back plastic bottles and cans in exchange for cash). It was not much but it was all that Luhan had to keep him from hunger.

They kept on meeting each other by coincidence every day to the point that Luhan was convinced that Ken (he didn’t know his name so he called him Ken because he’s a blond and Barbie’s boyfriend is a blond) was stalking him.

One day, Ken decided to speak to Luhan and his voice was the most beautiful thing he had heard in his 18 years of living. It was the first sign that he liked him. However, with much difficulty due to the massive language barrier between them, Luhan thought that Ken was mocking a bird or a horse…or was it a cat? He didn’t know because Ken was weird.

After about 30 minutes, Luhan finally realized that Ken was asking him if he wanted to hang out and have some drink. He shrugged and nodded his head because he doesn’t reject free drinks.

Later that day, he learned that that Ken’s real name was Oh Sehun.

Oh Sehun.

The name that would make Luhan feels a lot of emotions running through his body all at once, the name that Luhan refused to say even after 3 years of being abandoned by said man.

Oh Sehun shot him in the heart and cruelly took it with his bare hands and stepped on it many times until there was nothing left. Then he went away and left Luhan all torn up on the floor without so much a goodbye or even a glance.

That was how painful it was to Luhan to have the man he loved so much betrayed him in a blink of an eye.

What happened to I love you for as long as I live and even in the afterlife ?

“Luhan what are you thinking about?” a voice called out.

Luhan broke free from his daydreaming and forced a smile to his boyfriend. “Nothing, I’m just tired that’s all.”

Kris frowned a little before sighing and kissed the top of the brunette’s head. “Okay, do you want to finish the movie or go to bed?”

“Let’s go to bed, we watched this movie already.”

“But I want to watch,” Kris protested.

Luhan quirked an eyebrow. “I don’t see what you find fun in this kind of movie. I mean it’s all about the galaxy and some about the universe.”

“Hush baby, this is a cool movie. Why don’t you just lay back in my arms and stay comfortable?” Kris suggested as Luhan rolled his eyes but smiled nevertheless and laid back into the arm that feels like a warm cocoon. The blonde man kissed his boyfriend’s temple and goes back to watching Gravity.

Luhan had been pulling his hair for the past few hours. His eyes were bloodshot red and rimmed with dark circles beneath his eyes from the lack of sleep in the past week. He felt like giving up but the thought of Yifan encouraged him.

He went on again for another two hours until he took a pillow and screamed into it.

Luhan banged his head on the soft sofa and sighed loudly. He was really frustrated. Suddenly, a picture of bacon came on the TV commercial and a bulb light up above his head. He quickly stood up and searched for his mobile like a madman.

Once he got the device in his hands he dialed a familiar number. It ringed a few times before the person picked it up, “Hello?”

“Bacon!” Luhan yelled into the receiver.

“What the- Dammit Luhan don’t shout I can perfectly hear you! And my name is Baekhyun not bacon. I’m not edible!”

“Sorry! Look, I need your help. ASAP.”

“Let me guess.” Baekhyun said. “Kris hyung’s birthday is coming soon and you don’t know what to give him and what to cook, right?”

“Wha- what…How did you...wait…what?”

“Please, I have known you for a long time. And I know that you have a hello kitty doll right next to you.”

Luhan quietly pushed the doll and hid it under a pillow. He coughed. “As I was saying, can you help me?”

“Just sit on the bed with a ribbon on your neck and chocolate on your hand.”

“Baek!”

“Okay okay but on one condition…”

“Happy birthday Kris!” Luhan grinned widely. The blonde man smiled and leaned forward to peck his boyfriend’s lips.

“Thanks Luhan.” Kris reached out to take Luhan’s hand and rub small circles on it. The older male blushed lightly and intertwined their hands together.

Their moment of affection was suddenly interrupted by a waiter clad in a white dress shirt and a red bowtie. “Your food sirs.”

He placed their food on the table in such a graceful manner causing Luhan to be amazed. Kris chuckled silently at his boyfriend’s cute manner. The waiter silently left after doing his job. “Why do you have to choose this place when you’re not used to it?”

Luhan bit the insides of his cheek and mumbled, “because I want to do something special for you once in a while…”

The younger male smiled softly at the statement and held his boyfriend’s hand gently. “Being with you is enough for me,” he placed a soft kiss on Luhan’s hand causing the other male to blush.

“O-okay if you say so.”

“Let’s eat before the food gets cold.”

Luhan nodded. Eager to eat the expensive food laid out in front of him and unknown of what would happen in a few hours.

After the dinner, the couple decided to have a walk on the streets hand in hand. Uncaring of the people who gave them disapproving looks. Kris glanced at the shiny ring on his right hand that his boyfriend had given him a few hours earlier. He smiled mentally and then wondered how much it cost Luhan to buy the ring and pay for the dinner at the five star restaurant.

“Ah, Kris, can you wait here?” Luhan suddenly said, breaking the silence. “I want to use the restroom.”

“Okay I’ll wait here.”

Luhan walked quickly to a nearby public toilet. Kris leaned against the wall of a shop called “GD&TOP”. He tried to remember where he had heard that name before while waiting for Luhan, hands in the pocket. A young man with blonde hair caught his eye and went into the same toilet Luhan did. Nice hair, maybe I should style it that way, he thought.

Luhan flushed the toilet and washed his hands. He was about to go out when a familiar guy stepped in and he stopped in his tracks. His eyes widened and his heart rate increases as if he saw a ghost. In this case, he really did see a ghost from the past.

“S-Sehun…” He barely managed.

The said man was shocked as well but he wasn’t as surprised as Luhan, he looked like he was prepeared for this moment only to have it come earlier than expected. “Luhan…”

At the mention of his name, Luhan snapped from his state of shock and took big steps to get out only to have his arm yanked by Sehun. “W-wait!”

“Let me go!” He struggled against the taller man.

“No please let me explain!”

“There’s nothing to explain Oh Sehun!” Luhan snapped, his eyes were rimmed with tears but he didn’t let them fall. Not that easily. Not for that bastard Oh Sehun.

“Luhan what took you so long? Do you-“ Kris stopped midway in front of the restroom door and was taken aback by his boyfriend’s tear-rimmed eyes. He was glaring at the man he recognized earlier with the blonde hair. “Hey-“

“Luhan I’m so-“

“Stop, stop!” Luhan pressed his hands to his ears and squeeze his eyes shut tightly. “Don’t say you’re sorry, you don’t mean it!”

“Luhan please-“

“No! Please just stop.” Tears were now falling from his eyes as he stared directly into Sehun’s. “You don’t really mean it. You never will… Do you think sorry is enough for all those pain and years you put me through? Do you think I will just accept your sorry? It’s not that simple Oh Sehun…”

Luhan sniffed and the other two male can’t help but watch, afraid to break him further.

“I waited and waited for you but you never came back. I was scared and alone and I can barely understand the language. You should’ve told me that you don’t want me anymore…you should have just said it to my face so it hurts less. Who do you think you are Sehun…playing with people’s heart like some kind of toy?”

“I’m sor-“

“I said stop! Don’t say that word anymore!” Luhan screamed and Kris quickly went to hold Luhan. “Let’s go home,” he said gently and guided him outside.

When Luhan was not watching, Kris glared at Sehun and the other male flinched, casting his eyes downwards to avoid eye contact.

Three days since the incident with Oh Sehun occurred and Luhan had not smile even a bit. He didn’t even go to work and he barely ate anything. Kris had been so worried that he went home as early as possible.

“Luhan,” Kris called out but the other male didn’t respond. The blonde sighed and sat next to his depressed boyfriend on the couch, wrapping an arm around him as comfort. “Babe, please talk to me.”

Again, Luhan did not respond.

“Luhan please. I don’t want to see you so sad anymore. Forget that you met that guy whose name shouldn’t be said and focus on your health okay?”

Luhan sighed tiredly. He gave his boyfriend an apologetic look and a small smile, “You’re right. I’m sorry for ruining your birthday…”

Kris mentally cheered when Luhan responded him. “It’s okay, as long as you’re fine I’m content.”

Luhan rested his head on Kris’ shoulder and sighed again, closing his eyes.

It was back to silence again and Kris felt so frustrated because Luhan’s voice always filled every inch of their house. Whether it was him nagging or yelling at Kris to put away his dirty clothes or calling him to eat dinner and scolding him not to overwork himself. Everyday was an enjoyable day with Luhan.

And now the house is quiet and dark it felt like Luhan was no more. Kris frowned, he would have to make Luhan forget no matter how. His eyes travelled to the coffee table and saw a bunch of letters and took them.

“Bills,bills, tax…” he mumbled. “Ah Luhan, there’s a letter for you.”

Luhan took the letter and open it slowly. His eyes widened when he saw who was the sender and gulped. Kris got curious and read the letter too. The letter wrote:

Dear Luhan,

Honestly, I have a lot to say but I just don’t know how. First of all, I’m sorry for my unruly behavior. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…and I can even say it a thousand times if you want to. But you don’t want to accept my apologies. I can understand that.

3 years ago I left you alone without telling you anything. I didn’t even send you a letter because I was afraid that you would found me out. Actually, when I first met you my friends dared me to ask you out and I did it because I didn’t want to be seen as a coward. The dare also said I need to make you love me.

At first it was all a game to me but then I found myself falling real hard for you each day. I was so scared because I don’t like boys and I think it’s wrong. But the more I’m with you the more I think that there is no right or wrong and I decided to just let myself fall for you.

Honestly, I am a coward. I was afraid to be judged so I ran away to America and stayed there. I felt so guilty for leaving you alone, I felt so ashamed of myself that I left an innocent, foreign boy alone in a country he barely knew. I didn’t know how I managed to live with that guilt and I feel suffocated everytime I think about it.

So I went back to Seoul to apologize but it seems like you won’t accept them. It was foolish of me to think it is that simple and I’m a coward for running away and denying what my heart wants.

I’m sorry Luhan. I really am. I mean it with all my heart and I beg your forgiveness. I won’t know if you do forgive me because when this letter arrives I will not be in Seoul anymore. I’m going on the flight to America at 4pm. But just so you know, I really did love you. Please, forgive me.

Oh Sehun.

P.S. I sent this to your house because no way I’m going to let that bastard get your address. – Baekhyun.

Luhan took a deep breath and it came out slightly shaky. Kris hugged his boyfriend and rub small circles on his back, “It’s okay you can cry.”

It wasn’t that long before Luhan started crying loudly, his tears wetting Kris’ sweater that probably cost a hundred but he doesn’t mind and ket on hugging Luhan tighter. “It’s okay just let it all out.”

At that moment, Luhan did forgive Sehun…but he won’t forget what he had done to him.

(Highlight below to read more- You can ignore this tho.)

That night Kris was watching the television while Luhan slept on his lap. He caressed his cheek and planted a small kiss on his forehead. Suddenly, the sound of an announcer speaking interrupted him.

“Breaking news. The flight from Seoul to America crashed at around 4 in the afternoon today, containing 267 passengers along with its crews. It was confirmed that no one had survived the crash as it was completely blown up due to an engine faulty…”

Kris’ eyes widened and he quickly switched off the TV and looked at Luhan who was sleeping peacefully.

Oh no.

I hope it’s not bad *cringes*