Yuri's PoV:

When I came in, she cleared the bed space so we could sit comfortably. She brought some tea and rice snacks and cheese puffs. She came out of the bathroom from clearing her face as well.

“Go ahead and sit comfortable. I’m pretty sure Taengoo won’t mind.” I smiled and sat down…awkwardly. I set down the stuff I brought: tissues, my blanket, and other miscellaneous things.

She stands on the bed and it jumps as she plopped down to sit cross legged. Another pause separated us. “So, why are you here? Aren’t you going to spend the New Year with your family?” That was the only thing I could start with.

“We’ve missed multiple holidays to spend with our loved ones. Why is the New Year and exception? I didn’t spend New Year’s with my family in 2009 or 2011.” Sunny blandly states.

I just give her a look. “I don’t know. It’s just after what happened to your uncle, I thought it’d be best to see him.”

Her face becomes guilty. “Honestly, my uncle is the last person I’d want to see.”

I frowned. Sunny has been always grateful to her uncle.

“Why are you here?” Her voice made the atmosphere less awkward.

“Um,” I wasn’t sure what to tell her. “Last year, I came home way too early in the morning. My family noticed my exhaustion and advised me to rest before I came over.” I simply said. “I figured I should still spend the New Year with them. After who knows how many years we’ve been separated, it just seems best.” I finally ended.

Sunny nods. There’s darkness in her face.

I sigh. “How are you?” She looks at me and I pity the sadness that’s smudged all over her face. The members knew that outside the production building, Lee Soonkyu was actually a tired girl, but this was a new level of ‘I’m done’.

“I honestly, just feel like .” She plainly says. She looks away at the window.

I pull up the tissue box I brought and hold it in front of her. She lightly smiles and takes one to pat away her tears.

“Same.” I adjust myself on the bed so I could lay down. It honestly felt a bit weird knowing I’m comfortably laying on Taeyeon’s bed.

We had a reflexive pause. There were a billions things I want to say to her. I wanted to talk about Sungmin, about dating, about next year.

About Jessica.

“Hey. This is really random, but do you remember that one day when we were filming Invincible Youth and we were doing the splits contest?”

I smiled. “Yeah. I still can’t believe Hyuna beat me.”

“I take back what I said.” I tilted my head up to see a contemplative Sunny. “I’m glad you rolled over.”

We chuckled at the same time. You know, what I loved best about SNSD is that even though not all of us aren’t as close as Taeyeon and Tiffany or Hyoyeon and Seohyun, there were few awkward moments between all of us. “I’m sorry I said that even if you rolled over, SNSD still wouldn’t need to be saved.”

I smiled. “It’s okay. You were probably right.”

“You know. I kinda miss those days.” Sunny kept going off. “When we broke through and we were the top of the market.” I tightly hugged. “Now it’s all--.”

“Complicated?” I finished her sentence. “Yeah. I agree.” I was hugging a black pearl stuffed animal one that was given to me by a fan.

“But we can’t stay there forever.” Sunny said somewhat bitterly. “We have to share the spot. Give it to the next generation.”

I hugged the pearl tighter. It hurts to fact the truth.

I sighed. The eight of us have talked about it. We’ve discussed the benefits. We’ve discussed the doubts that we could overcome. We’ve discussed what to expect. We’ve discussed all this, but it feels like something all of us can’t get over.

Speaking of the times when we were at the top. “Hey. Do you remember that one time I couldn’t remember the lyrics to one of our songs so I taped the lyrics to the back of your hoodie?”

She gave me a confused look but smiled. “Yah! This is why I say you make more mistakes than Tiffany!”

“Yah! At least I am able to remember the dance!”

“But you’re such a slow learner!”

“At least when we perform I remember everything!”

“Most of the time!”

“Mwo? What do you mean most of the time?”

“Yah! You always make mistakes! You just don’t know because we’re not like you and point them out!”

I pouted, but then smiled. I couldn’t believe we were having such a childish conversation.

“Yah. Why are you smiling?” Sunny laughed. She threw one of Taeyeon’s Peas in a Pod.

“I don’t know. I like this feeling.” I said.

Sunny laughed again, her eyes turning into slits.

I suddenly thought of other things to talk about: sleep-talking, how much we hate learning choreography, going back on the farm.

“Yuri-ah.” I looked at her again. Now her face was full of concern. Is this night going to be as emotionally crazy as last year?

“What’s up?” Is it about Jessica? Sungmin? Her uncle?

“Do you still want to drop SNSD? You know? Do you still want to travel and study yoga or acting?”

My heart sunk as she asked that question.

I take back what I’ve said earlier. The girls discussed many things, but we never touched the topic of wanted to split, especially talking about personal things. We’ve probably mentioned things to our respective roommates, but not to the group as a whole.

Yes? No? “Not anymore.” I honestly said. “As much as I think it’s a good idea to split, I think there’s an equally good reason not to.”

“And what’s that?” she asked.

“I guess, if we disband, we can all be free. Sooyoung can go to Japan. Taeyeon, Tiffany, and Seohyun can continue together or as soloists. Hyoyeon can finally go to America and study dance. Yoona can fully focus on acting. I could travel. You could be an MC.” Thinking of these ideas seemed… wonderful, but there were a lot of factors involved. “But we can’t end like this after one big hit. We gotta stick together and move forward. We’ve got the company depending on us. We’ve got f(x) and Red Velvet and all the other rookies looking up to us. We’ve got all the Sones looking forward to us. We can’t be selfish and drop everything. If we do so, let’s do it one at a time, slow and steady.” A tear had rolled down my face. Although I had imagined what it’d be like with SNSD, it’s a weird feeling thinking about SNSD being over.

“I guess you’re right.” Sunny said she began eating the rice snacks.

I arched an eyebrow. “What? Were you hoping we could just disband?”

“It was just an option.” I was hurt thinking she considered it. “But it’s not something I hoped to happen.” I guess she did have a point.

I decided to change topics. “How are feeling about Sungmin-oppa?” I knew we were touching a lot of sensitive topics, but hey, that’s why I’m here right?

She sighed and gave a half-smile. “He actually talked to me before he proposed.”

I gave a shocked expression. I expected her to go on. “And?”

She sighed. I know she didn’t want to talk about it, but I knew if she bottled up her feelings, the outcome would be ugly. “We figured things out.” She looked at me and creased . “I was a bit surprised to know the two were dating, but we talked it out. We found some closure.”

I gave her an apologetic look. I saw she was on the verge of crying so I crawled to her. I embraced her and let her cry onto my shoulder.

She took a deep breathe in. “He should’ve been worth my time. I should’ve listened to Jessica when we broke up the second time.”

Her name took my breath away. Jessica.

“There’s a lot of things we regret in life, but we just gotta get over it, or learn from it.” I mindlessly say.

Jessica, will we get over the fact knowing that we’re not going to share a stage together. Jessica, will we learn our mistake of being too selfish and not considering what the other members think?

We sat in this position for a while. I suddenly didn’t want to talk anymore. Let’s save it for another day.

Will we have another day?

--

A/N: Meh. I wanted to update even though it's way past New Years. I'm almost done~ 

Did I do okay?