A/N: Ayo~ It's my AFF Anniversary! I'm super pumped! Well, here goes nothing!

I hope you like it[:

 

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Yuri’s PoV

 

After filming for Gayo Daejejeon, all the girls went straight to their dorm. Like the year before, many just dropped by so they could visit their respective families. For the first few hours, there were many doors opening, goodbyes, and greetings of a better 2015 to come.

It is 5AM in the dormitory and most of the girls had left. I had no plans of leaving until later in the morning since my family only had plans starting at lunch. They knew I had schedules that ended this late so they wanted me to come after some rest. Last year, they noticed how tired I was, not realizing something was actually bothering me. Thanks to Tiffany, I was able to achieve a clear mind, but that’s a different story. [:

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” Our leader asked me with concern. Of course her bestie told her about what I said. Taeyeon also talked to me too and that’s when she opened up about Baekhyun.

“I’m alright.” I smile. Yes, there were things on my mind, but… they’ve been on my mind this whole year. I don’t want to think anymore. I give her a last hug.

“My flight doesn’t get off until 10. You can call me if something comes up.” She smiles. Not too long ago, she was able to switch her flight to an earlier flight so she could visit her family. We all know this past year was a rough year and I think she took it the hardest. I knew she wanted to go home to the comfort of her parents, so I didn’t want to hold her back.

“Will do,” and I meant it.

We let go of the hug and I helped her bring her luggage to a taxi.

“Oh by the way,” she starts before she enters the taxi. “Sunny is still here. Would you mind checking on her? I’d do it myself, but before I left she was still sleeping. I know things has been bothering her. Just watch over her please?” she looks me in the eyes. After things got super rough this 2014, she really has been more protective of the members, both in a good and bad way.

I felt unsure for a reason, but I nodded my head.  We hugged one last time. “Happy New Year, Black Pearl.”

My nickname made me smile. It was like our debut days. “Happy New Year, Kid Leader.”

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I walk back into the apartment. I take off the beanie was wearing. As I walk to the end of the hallway and into the kitchen I notice the runaway member.

When she saw me, she looked like Yoona, a deer in headlights. I noticed fresh tear stains on her cheeks.

She looks down and leans her hands on the counter. “I… I thought you left already.”

I stepped closer and put my hands in the pocket of my hoodie. “I thought you left.” I dumbly retorted.

She turned to the direction of her room. “I thought you left with Taeng.” She adjust the hood of her jacket to cover her face.

“I was just helping her with her luggage.” Sunny nodded her head then started heading to her room.

Before she disappeared behind the corner, I yelled. “I’m not blind you know.” She stopped in her tracks, but slowly continued. She hesitated. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” I realized I sounded more assertive that usual.

To my dismay, she hid to her room.

I sighed in defeat. If there’s one good thing Taeyeon can do, she can easily make people talk to her. Even if it’s Sooyoung or Jessica who tended to disagree with what she does.

Sigh.

Jessica.

I was 80% sure that Jessica was the reason behind Sunny’s sadness. Sunny cared about SNSD just as much as Taeyeon did. Although we did not like how Jessica was treating SNSD, we didn’t want her to leave. We wanted to work through this, even if Jessica barely let us.

Man, things just got so freaking complicated this year. SNSD just got ed up this year.

Sorry. Pardon my language.

I guess it really started with the dating scandals. First, Yoona. Then Sooyoung. The company and the girls thought announcing those would be fine for different reasons. Yoona and SeungGi-oppa were just meant to be and we hoped the fans would accept them. Sooyoung and KyungHo-oppa have been hiding their relationship so they just thought it would be right to let it out. To be honest, although that might result in backlash, SM was sure that after Yoona announced their relationship, people would still be stuck on that, meaning Sooyoung’s news wouldn’t affect the company as much.

With such good feedback, we thought this could be a new start. The other girls could start opening up, we could expand.

We could have more freedom.

It was the complete opposite. Dispatch and Naver and every other Korean paparazzi were on our tails.

There was even a time Dispatch had released old photos of me, Hyoyeon, and Jessica with ‘future love interests’. At that time I was actually seeing that man, but to keep things safe, I decided to end things.

Then Mr. Mr. came out and there were complications. SM decided to add background dancers since ‘it was a new fad’. We lost data for our music video. We ourselves didn’t like the song or dance, we were worried the Sones were disappointed, too.

This was also the time the group started considering splitting.

Yes, at this time, we had discussed taking breaks, doing other projects, etc.

No, this wasn’t the first time, but I’ll be honest with you, this was the only I’d actually feel serious about the situation.

When we discussed this with SM, the board kind of threw off the idea. They thought it would be like ‘last time’. The next thing you know, we were on Healing Camp discussing our opinions. Like usual, the production brought us back together. We saw our main goal in sight: perform for the Sones, shoot past the dream we’ve achieve, go farther.

Promotions ended and within months, things got worse. Tiffany’s dating scandal was confirmed because they were caught big time. Well, also they’ve been on-and-off dating for four years. They might as well should come out. Although it was expected and welcomed, SM and SNSD received backlash from the news. Because of the fact that Nichkhun was also a popular idol created havoc in the kpop world.

Things became even worse when Taeyeon’s and Baekhyun’s dating scandal came out. Baekhyun was someone who comforted Taeyeon. At that time, things weren’t that serious between them. Of course, Dispatch caught them and there was nothing SM could do to stop them. As you can tell, Taeyeon received the most backlash out of all the girls who came out this year. I feel she even suffered the worst. Although some can say it’s her fault for making it look like they were a flirting with each other over Instagram (when truly she was just being playful, seriously you should see some of the other things she posts with the Super Junior oppas that y’all don’t know about…oops!), I don’t think she deserved what she got. I think SM could’ve given her some slack and denied the rumors, but they quickly admitted it to cover up Sulli’s scandal. After the news broke out of SM confirming everything, Taeyeon and Baekhyun didn’t feel the same. Although they technically were a couple, it was as if they were acting to be a couple. Taeyeon received hate from Exo fans and—I’ll be honest—Baekhyun did nothing. Even though Taeyeon was the sunbae, many criticized her for dating such a ‘low ranked’ idol. I’ll admit, it was weird even though she’s not that much older than him, it was weird she was confirmed to be dating our hoobae. You can’t even understand how bad she feels now. Baekhyun’s fans spent a fortune on his Christmas gift: a Rolex watch, nice hats, shoes, and other articles of clothing. Baekhyun tried to comfort her by saying the expensive (and I mean expensive) couple necklace was something her cherished more, but she still felt inferior to the fans that wouldn’t accept her.

With these dating scandals, the girls were drifting apart again. The news were scaring us because we were scared something from our pasts could come back to haunt us again.

Speaking of which, I forgot mention Hyoyeon’s dating scandal and the whole ‘assault’ prank.

WHY ARE YOU RUINING OUR LIVES DISPATCH?

I’m sorry. I know it’s our job, but sometimes I wonder if you know how negatively this is affecting us.

We were all mad at each other for our actions. We didn’t know what to do, how to appear in front of people. We didn’t know what to expose to the world, to SM. We couldn’t trust anyone but ourselves.

After summer, Jessica launched Blanc. It garnered a lot of positive attention which was something we all needed after a rough beginning. It even crashed due to a lot of interest. We didn’t have a lot of schedules, so it wasn’t a problem when she had to constantly go out of country to discuss plans. Months progressed. Our schedule was getting tighter, yet Jessica was still working as diligently, possibly even more. We’ll admit, things tended to get out of hand. She had broken her promise that this fashion venture wouldn’t interfere with SNSD. She was late to shows, complained a lot about being tired, and she even told us, very late minute, that she was going to skip out on a rehearsal. The girls had wanted to discuss with her about our dissatisfaction, but she dismissed us saying that she had a lot going on in her head or she had to deal with a meeting with her progress the next morning so she didn’t want to tire herself even more. Maybe she was working too hard because SM really want to disband Blanc. Members have talked to her separately, but we never discussed this as a group.

The next you know, Jessica was out of the group and SNSD became eight.

After that, I couldn’t think of anything worse. Maybe for the other members, but for me, I tried not to let the rest of the year be worse as it was.

Are you interested what could’ve been worse for Sunny? Honestly, I wouldn’t know a lot since we haven’t talked a lot since our Invincible Youth days and the years we were roommates together, but I heard Sungmin-oppa’s marriage had affected her.

It’s no lie that the two were romantically linked in the past. Goodness, those two were in love. SM even admitted that they were excited to approve and confirm the couple. They met when they hosted a radio show together and they broke up when they just couldn’t find time for each other. I remember, though, that she reassured us (or herself?) that the two were going to figure everything out. Obviously, they didn’t. I know I shouldn’t be starting rumors, but I don’t think him and Kim SaEun-ssi were in a relationship, they were probably just going on dates. I also think that Sungmin got her pregnant, which is why they had such an abrupt marriage, but hey, I can’t judge anything. All I know is that they’re happy together now. Sunny’s a bit upset, but I know she’ll get over it.

But please don’t take what I say to heart. I just think everything in SM is starting to crumble down. I don’t want anything worse to happen, but bad things just cross our path every once in a while.

 

 

Just watch over her please? Taeyeon’s voice rang through my ears. I snapped out of my trance. I realized I had been standing in the same exact position for the past 20 minutes.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” I look up to see Sunny at the corner again. I twitch a smirk for the repeated line. This is ironic. Has she been standing there a long time? I hadn’t realized, but my face has a fresh set of tears sliding down.

I wipe them off with my sleeve. “I’m just thinking about the year and how much it .”

She refilled her cup with some hot cocoa some fans from the states gifted us. “Tell me about it.”

A tense pause filled the air. I felt like a drunk Hyoyeon staring at the tiles.

Sunny spoke up again. “You know, I’d just rather not talk about it…” I unintentionally dropped my palms against the counter. I should just go to my room and take a nap. My head’s going to hurt with all this thinking again. Sunny’s fine. She doesn’t want to talk. I boosted myself off my hands before I started to walk to my room. “…Here.”

I stopped because I didn’t know what she meant. “If you don’t mind, could we talk about it in one of our rooms? I’m sorry. I know we’re not the closest members, but there’s a lot going on my mind and I just want to know I’m not the only one feeling this way.” She confesses.

I turned around and looked at her. She was crossing her arms and her gaze was down. She looked so vulnerable. I took a deep breath. “Sure. Let me just change into something warmer.” She looked back at me and we both smiled.

“You want anything to eat or drink?” She yelled while I changed into sweatpants.

“Just bring anything!” I yelled back. I knew this morning may turn out longer than expected so I washed off the make-up on my face and grabbed a pillow to bring to her and Taeyeon’s room.

Was I in for something.

 

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A/N: So this is a more clearer reasoning on what happened with Jessica. I realized my first explanation may have been really vague and convoluted. This isn't my complete thought, but I need to go my point across[:

What do you think so far? And what do you think of SunRi? I hope you guys liked it[: