“She loved the ocean because every time the waves left the shore, they always came back”

They weren’t quite sure if they would ever see each other again. A part of them hoped that they would somehow run into each other on the streets but a part of them were petrified for no reason. After they had laughed on the balcony, after Minji forgot about the suffocating feeling of being depressed, they had parted without exchanging any contact information. All they carried away with them were their names and the delightful memory they had made.

As if the god Minji had stopped believing in long ago had pitied her, she was somehow able to come across Seungyoon’s pleasant presence after months of waking up randomly to the asphyxiating feeling of depression and unknown sorrow.

She had decided to get on a bus she had no information about and let it take her as far as it could. When the bus made its last stop, she realized that she was in Busan. She looked around the unfamiliar city and decided to walk wherever her feet took her. And after walking for what seemed like days, she found herself at the beach. As she laid her eyes on the beauty of the water that seemed to be calling her name so seductively, she noticed that she wasn’t alone.

Quietly, she observed the back side of the unknown male. Something about him, maybe his aura, brought a feeling of warmth and comfort to her. Minji slipped her flats off and let her toes meet the warm sand. That was the one thing she liked about summer, it gave her some kind of warmth that she could never feel from anything else. It made her feel loved when there was no one to love her.

Even though she hadn’t uttered a word as she approached the shoreline, the stranger looked over his shoulder. Minji stopped in her tracks and stared into his eyes. It’s him, she thought as the butterflies in her stomach begged to be freed.

The way he stared at her made her heart race wildly. It was almost as though he had been waiting for her.

“Hi.” He welcomed her to sit next to him.

Minji carefully sat down, making sure her dress did not cause any discomfort. She looked at him with a small smile “Hey.”

“What brings you to Busan?” Seungyoon asked, curious as to why she were here but happy to see her.

Minji stared out into the horizon “I came to escape.” She leaned back and balanced her body with her arms. Her fingers dove into the warm sand and she comfortably stretched her legs out in front of her.

Seungyoon nodded along. He looked at the waves that gently folded over, one after another.

Silence set in and blanketed the two of them. It wrapped them up and coddled them so gently.

“Why are you here?” Seungyoon looked at Minji who hadn’t bothered to look back at him. She just continued to admire the water in front of her almost as though she were in love with it.

A soft smile waltzed around his face “My mom lives here. I came to visit her. I was going to head back to Seoul but I decided to come here instead.”

He wasn’t quite sure what she was thinking of as she listened to him. Was she thinking about her own mother? Was she thinking about ending everything again? Was she thinking about him?

“Isn’t it fascinatingly beautiful?” He noticed how sorrow flashed across her face for a second.

“The way the waves almost reach us but it ebbs. How it keeps coming back, almost as though it wants to grab ahold of us but it can’t. How it keeps trying and trying. Isn’t it wonderful to know that maybe it comes back to you because it longs to be with you? How it yearns for you to float away from land and away to the unknown? I think that’s why I love the water so much. It makes me feel like I’m wanted and loved. It’s like the waves are the only things that are willing to come back for me. No matter how messed up I am.” Minji watched a wave lurch forward, almost touching her bare feet.

A part of Seungyoon felt pain as she talked. He began to love the way she saw things, romanticizing things around her because it was the only way to convince herself that there was something to live for, something to keep her here.

“And I think I’m going to love you for a long time” –Linda Ronstadt, Long Long Time

Just like the night they had met for the first time, they took their time talking and smiling, forgetting that there was a life to worry about. They slowly drifted away into a world of their own, one where there was no sorrow or depression, no feeling of being pulled down into darkness. It was a place where there was nothing but the feeling of relief and tranquility.

“Would it be weird if I wanted to see you every day?” Minji stopped laughing at the joke that Seungyoon had told just seconds ago. She turned her head slowly and saw him staring at her. It was difficult to read his thoughts through his twinkling eyes.

I would love that but I’m scared you’ll leave me to be all alone again. I don’t know why you care so much but I love that you do. I don’t know why my heart is lying on my sleeve, why it’s just hanging out for you to take whenever you’d like but I hope you take it and cherish it. But what if you don’t? She searched his eyes, not sure what she was really trying to find.

Seungyoon lied down and stared up at, the now starry, sky. He looked at each star, counting how many stars he would be able to pick just for her. He would do it. Even if it took a million years, he would pick any star for her, if she wanted it, to brighten her dark world.

“I don’t want to seem like a creepy guy but I can’t really help it; I think I’m falling in love with you. I think I started to fall in love with you before I even saw your face.” Minji lied down beside him, taking in his confession.

She looked up at the stars just like him. “Why me? Why some screwed up girl who has a hard time finding the will to live?” Her voice grew smaller and smaller and she found herself on the verge of crying.

“Because I know that you can make it through. I’m sure that you’ll live another day and another and another. You’ll want to give up but won’t. Because you’re just amazingly beautiful, in more ways than one.” His voice was soft and low. He turned his head a little and admired her the way she admired the waves.

Minji swallowed the growing sob in . She had lost count of the stars and grew dizzy. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him as well. She wanted to tell the young man she had only seen twice that he had already possessed her fragile heart. But she was too afraid to tell him in fear of what he would do with it.

“The feeling isn’t mutual, is it? Darn, I was hoping that I could be the one for you because I know, I don’t know how, but I know you’re the one for me. I can feel it with my whole body and soul; you are the one.” He slowly reached for her hand and grabbed it carefully. He held on so securely.

Minji closed her eyes and let herself fall deep into a never-ending pit of love and anxiety. “It is mutual. I’m not perfect. I don’t know how to be happy or how to love properly. I’m just not worthy of being loved or to be alive.”

He continued to look at her. He searched her small face and saw how long she had waited for someone to cradle her heart and treat it as if it mattered just as much as everyone else’s.

“I won’t ever hurt you. I won’t let you fall. I won’t let anything cause you pain ever again. I’ll make sure that you at least wake up feeling relieved if not content every single morning. And I promise you that I’ll love you for a long, long time.” Minji looked at Seungyoon and she saw an actual future for her. She saw something to love for. And she was going to make sure that she kept it no matter what.