“She wasn’t doing a thing that I could see, except standing there leaning on the balcony railing, holding the universe together”

– J.D. Salinger, A Girl I Knew

It was one of those days for her. It went by with smiles and laughter. Happy banter and hugs were exchanged. And all the while, she passed by with a forced smile sewn onto her pretty little face. She knew it from the moment she woke up: it was one of those days.

She stood in her bathtub, letting the steaming hot water pelt her. She stepped and stared at herself through the foggy mirror. I look the prettiest when I can’t see myself, she thought. Without drying her hair, she changed into a fresh, clean outfit that was meant to please no one in particular. She sat down at her dining table and ate a bowl of cereal, no milk. When she was finished, she washed the bowl and spoon. She grabbed a water bottle from her refrigerator and headed out to start her day at school.

The bus seemed empty that morning but maybe it was just a feeling. She hadn’t bothered to look anywhere except out of the window. This city looks so stuffy. She sighed and the window fogged up. When the bus reached her stop, she got off and headed to class. She couldn’t find the will to pay attention in any of her classes and just doodled in her notebook until her final class was over.

She grabbed lunch at a café near campus. The sandwich was dry and bland but she ate it anyways. Once she was finished she headed out. She had no plans on going anywhere specific but she knew she didn’t want to go home.

By the time her feet and legs grew tired, the sun had already gone down and the moon had replaced it. She looked around and saw an old and familiar building. So it really is one of those days, huh? She entered the abandoned building and walked up ten flights of stairs before opened a lonely door.

When the door swung open, a blast of cold air brushed past her, sending chills down her entire body. She walked out onto the spacious balcony and stopped at the railing. She gripped the metal railing and looked down at the streets. She wondered if that night would end differently than the others. And as she went through her routine of contemplating and looking down at what she saw as an abyss, she became lost in her own little world once again.

∙ ∙ ∙

He plucked at the strings but wasn’t satisfied with the combination. A frustrated sigh flowed out from between his plump lips. He couldn’t understand why the tune in his head would not flow out of his fingers and through the guitar strings. He propped his guitar up against the short cement wall and looked up at the starry sky. Why can’t every moment of the day be as beautiful as this one?

He wrapped his arms around himself as another round of cold air rushed past him. He decided that he couldn’t stand the cold anymore and packed up his guitar. He brushed off some chalky dust off of his black pants before slinging his guitar case onto his back. As he began to walk back to the threshold that brought him to the balcony, he halted for a moment when a figure caught his eyes. He turned to face the back of the ghostly person and for a moment, his breath became caught in his throat.

It was as though he could read her entire life up until that moment. He could sense that something was off. He gazed at the unknown female as she leaned against the railing, lost in her own thoughts. I wonder what she’s thinking about so seriously.

“He stepped down, trying not to look long at her, as if she were the sun, yet he saw her, like the sun, even without looking”

–Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina

It took a few seconds but he finally realized what she was thinking about. He watched her intently as she stared at what was down below. It wasn’t his place to stop her but a part of him told him that he needed to keep her alive.

“Hey.” He was sure not to surprise her. His voice was as soft as the winter breeze.

His heart hammered inside of him and he became blinded when he laid his eyes on beauty in its purest and finest state. He was at a loss for words as she stared at him. It was as though she were staring into his soul, reaching for it and cradling it gently.

But he blinked and it things seemed normal again. “What are you doing?” Carefully, he approached her. He looked over the railing and held his breath. Why would she want to jump?

“You know, someone’s going to miss you if you die.” He looked at the young lady who wouldn’t take her eyes off of him.

“There’s no one to miss me. No family. No friends.” She sounded just as beautiful as she looked. And she sounded just as miserable as she looked.

“Well, I’ll miss you.” He gave the stranger a small smile. “I don’t know your name but I’ve noticed you. It’ll be awful if the world lost someone like you.”

The girl looked at him as if she doubted him.

∙ ∙ ∙

Why is he doing this? She searched his eyes and found them captivating. It had been a long time since someone ever talked to her as if she were important.

“What’s your name?” The young man flashed a warm smile as if he were pleased to hear the question. “Kang Seungyoon. What’s your’s?”

For a moment, she vacillated. “Yoon Minji.”