CANDLE

Who knew… it's already been 10 years…

Back then we were a bunch of brats aren't we?

Look at now, who is getting married the next day?

A man reminisced about his past with his usual group of friends back at high school. Now, they survived through universities and now having a stable job of their own. Looking up at the night sky, he couldn't help it but to remember back their old memories especially it involves the wedding of his two best friends, one was his childhood buddy while the other was his crush.

---

Looking up at the night sky, dodging the blurry light

We can no longer rewind to that day, to avoid seeing that sadness

I'm searching for my emotions through the glistening downtown

You ask, "What are you doing?" through a phone call, you laugh along with another

"I'm happy for you… Bye"

Previously we used to steal each other's main dish from the lunch boxes….

"I like you, will you go out with me?"

I couldn't do anything but to hide away from the scene. My best friend just confessed to the girl of my dreams. He did told me about it but I was a coward, a weakling… I just let it happened. I acted that I did not bear any feelings for her. Deep within my heart, I hoped that she would reject him but instead she agreed to it with a flushed face and a shy smile. My heart sunk.

Two important people in my life were in love with each other, I, who would just be a hindrance… could only let things flow their way - even if it was tearing me apart piece by piece.

It was night-time and I sneaked out from the hotel that I lodged in order to set my mind straight. Both of them were getting married. What I feared, came true in the end. It was foolish of me to bet that she would go to my side.

What a couple. They decided to get married during Christmas eve of all days… Well, it's not like I have anything to do. Probably it was God's sympathy, the town was perfect to settle my emotions. It was quite a glistening sight with all the colourful light bulbs decorated around town. I was happy for both of them but yet wished the wedding would get cancelled off. Am I considered self-centered? However, everytime I wished for such, her wonderful smile would pop into my mind. Her smile… was the brightest - only when she was beside him. He was the only one who could bring that smile out.  Years passed, and I'm still a coward, I didn't even manage to tell her about my feelings. That thought still gnawed at me right to this day.

Feeling a vibration in my pocket, I took it out and smiled softly at the number that flashed into the screen. It was from her.

"What are you doing? I was searching for you. Don't tell me you went out to get some girl to bring as your date? In order not to lose your face, am I right?" she laughed.

Wrong! You idiot… I was just….

"I guess the cat is out of the bag?" I answered with a fake laugh. There, I heard another person's laugh, instantly, you recognise it as him. So, he was with her right now… "He is with you? Oh my~ What are you two naughty kiddies doing now~? In the middle of the night… How suspicious,"

"Nothing! Idiiiioott!!! We are supposed to be together, anyways" she retorted as I . I chuckled as I imagined her flushed expression, probably he would be laughing beside her as well. Thinking that starting tomorrow she would be spending the rest of her life mostly with him, unconsciously, I called her name before she could hung up, "Just wanted to say that I'm happy for you…"

"Bye"

-

What I can do is wish for your happiness

The dreams you and I shared, even if the stars never fall into my hands

Even if we never meet again

In order to preserve that smiling face

I will wish for that fire that holds my feelings for you to disappear

Oddly enough, the actual wedding ceremony was  at night. Seems like it was a last minute change since even I the newlyweds' best friend wasn't notified. My feelings was slightly hurt but it's their changing point in their lives. Have to let them have their selfishness.

What I can only do now… is to wish for your happiness.

Happiness and prosperity for both of you.

The two important people in my life.

That is what I'm only capable as I am now.

"Candles?" I asked as the flower girl gave a candle and a small lantern for the candle to be in. Apparently it was the wedding couple's idea since it was Christmas Eve and also as a retribution for coming to their wedding. The girl then bowed and left after telling that it would be the main couple to light up the candle.

You are really going away now. The time is for you to is getting closer.

I wish I could blow away my feelings for you away just like this candle would.

I don't mind regretting my decision as long as your smiling face would stay.

How I wish I could tell you right now, 'I love you'

"I will erase it… after this wedding.." I muttered those words with determination as my eyes locked onto the white figure that just entered the church aisle. Guests murmured with awe and adoration as she entered with her husband-to-be with a lighter clasped between their hands. I smiled widely, enough to close my eyes. An emotion rushed within me. The wedding had begun

It is really happening…

-

I no longer need that sadness within my closed eyes

See, there's a whole new fire lighting up into your pure white figure

"You’re so beautiful congrats,"

When I heard a soft shuffle, I opened my eyes. My sight revealed two figures smirking right at me, I smiled back, "Don't you dare burn the lantern instead. You used to burn things accidentally,"

Of course, she tried to fight back even though he would be teaming up with me to . I laughed at the scene that I was in and I saw her figure when he and she lighted up the candle. The light illuminating from the fire, merging with the dimness of the hall, it showed clearly of her and her white dress.

"You're beautiful, Congratulations on your wedding!"

"Make sure you make her smile everyday! Give kisses every morning too," I continued teasing her and she started hitting on my shoulder playfully.

That's right… I won't be the one that will make you smile.

I'm not the man that should be beside you.

He will be the one who will be your side, standing by you.

He will be the one to overflow you with happiness.

-

You will be flooded with happiness, I'll be watching over you gently

The collection of the dreams you saw, will fall lightly into flower bouquets

While gazing at your walking figure from behind, the tears surface

One day, you'll be spending all your time laughing

It's what I wished to this fire

As I gazed at her figure slowly disappearing further deeper down the aisle, I felt slight warmness streaming down my cheeks. When she went up before the priest, a girl handed her a bouquet. It was an orange bouquet, it fits her personality - bubbly, cheerful and optimistic. Her bright future… was decided the moment she received the flowers.

I stared at the fire which was flickering.

May you live happily.

Live a life that is filled with joy and shrug off the downs with laughter.

When I looked up, both of them were exchanging their vows.

I hadn't stop my tears.

-

The feelings that shower over me, are just like tear droplets melting off a candle

I'm praying to the flickering fire, for you to remain happy

From far away, from the heart, it's what I feel

That’s why when things get tough for your

I'll send over your way this fire, not the fire that's been up till now

Praying for your dreams

The wax of the candle slowly melted away, just like the tears that was escaped. I tried so hard to contain it however, the sight of both of them just opened the lid. They were then Husband and Wife. No one could ever come in between that. Not even me. I spotted them looking at me and smiled while flashing out peace signs. The formal ceremony was over, confetti was bursting everywhere and guests started crowding over the wedded couple.

After having one last look at the happy couple, I blew out the candle and exited the church. When I hailed the taxi, I heard her calling my name. Just as I opened the passenger door, I turned and saw her rushing over with her white dress and a bouquet in her hand. When she was close enough, she stopped to catch her breath. It seemed like she let him do the formal conversations with the guests since he didn't follow after her. She then shoved the bouquet to me which puzzled me. She regain her posture and said, "Thanks for supporting me and us all this while. I really appreciate it, Thank you so much,"

My lips curved upwards, "You know… If any of you had troubles. Feel free to confide in me… I may not be helpful but I can always lend an ear or both since there's two of you. Plus~ a single life is lonely you know? Anytime is okay," I made a joke between the lines for her to avoid the heavy tension between the two of us. She gave a smile, the smile that I failed to do all this time. She was giving it to me. After biding goodbye, I entered the taxi. Seeing her figure slowly diminishing from the rear mirror of the taxi, I gazed at the orange bouquet and sniffed it's floral scent.

Be happy

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