Kais pov:

My alarm was going off, great, just another night of with an inadequate amount of sleep. My mind had been racing all night preventing me from falling to sleep, but now, now that it was morning my mind felt blank, empty nearly non exsistent i felt like i was slipping, futher away from myself,

leaving myself to fall into temporary bliss a weak smile was painted on my face...

Until...

"YAH JONGIN do you have any idea what time it is?!"  my older sister, Ae Cha, jolted me awake my eyelids felt heavy as i felt her dragg me out of bed and smother me with my pillow "Get up dork you're gonna be late... again" She huffed eventually allowing me to breath normally from removing the ridiculously large pillow off of my face. I pushed her aside and ran into my bathroom grabbing my uniform with me in the process. Monday. Most people say monday is the worst day of the week for them, i understand its when you have to start your normal boring routine all over again from having a weekend of relaxation, but thats monday for them and for me its everyday, everyday i have to continue suppressing my crippling pain which lingers in my heart and my mind.

After showering and getting changed i made my way downstairs towards the kitchen, it was empty, typical! My parents were barely ever home and if they were they were too caught up in their work that i wouldn't be able to talk to them, its sad really i'm not even sure they know what i look like anymore or even, who i am, i quickly devoured my toast before heading out with my bag and keys i attended part time college, it was close to home and it had many students but out of all 1000 students i only had one friend, Kyungsoo, i had known him since i was 6 we used to attended the same school. Between the ages of 10-16 he was absent in my life, he moved schools as his parents workplace had relocated but he was back now and i couldn't wait to see him. We had never fought or had big disagreements i genuinely considered him as a big brother to me.

Parking my car i hopped out and locked it i then ventured into the modern building keeping my head down i just didn't want to make eye contact with anyone, girls usually fell head over heels for me i had not the slightest clue as to why. Why? Even in my antisocial state they dared to speak to me, maybe out of kindness or curiousity, whatever it was i knew that they would be baffled by me if i were to converse with them. I don't always mean what i say and i don't always have reasons as to why i feel the way i feel this made me fear talking to them or anyone for that matter. What if i hurt them? What if they want to get close to me and then drop me? What if, what if, WHAT IF?

"KAI!" I heard my name being bellowed by Kyungsoo i assumed he'd already be in class as i was late but i guess i was wrong, i spun on my heel to face him, a wide grin was spread across his youthful face, he pace walked over to me greeting other students as he did "Did you sleep well then?" he questioned merrily my lips remained still and my face, straight... "Remember? You texted me last night saying you were sure that you were gonna get some sleep, i mean thats great! Your relaxation techniques are finally showing progress, so ... did you sleep well?" He was speaking abnormally fast today,"RELAXATION TECHNIQUES?! BEFORE USING THEM I WAS AT LEAST ABLE TO SLEEP FOR A FEW HOURS BUT NOW...... OH NOW I CANT EVEN SETTLE MY MIND! SO YOU TELL ME, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I SLEPT WELL!?" i aggressively snapped back pointing towards my eye bags which prominantly outlined my eye sockets. Kyungsoo opened his mouth, then shut it he repeated this process for at least three times before i spoke up "I'm sorry hyung" i sighed deeply "Its just i havent been sleeping recently i hate how i took at least 2 hours of sleep for granted because now i cant even clear my mind everything is just on loop up in there" i grabbed my sides of my head before calming down and massaging my temples... "Jongin its cool" Kyungsoo dismissed me managing a smile i looked at my watch "We better get going we've got 3 minutes until the bell for class" i informed him before making my way to my first class... history