JESSICA

It has been a year.. 

 It feels like I’ve dreamed for a long time
For a while, I’ve wandered and wandered

Who had expected for a year to pass like that, ever since 2007 when i debuted, this was the hardest year i had to go through. Why? because its me against the world. 

It takes a year for fans to calm down, for issues to be settled, for changes to be accepted, for people to be forgotten and move on. 

but a year wont be able to erase the memories, a year wont be able to heal the wounds in our hearts, it has been a year of struggle, tears and heartbreaks. Every time i open my eyes, it will always dawned on me, im no longer apart of them. 

My dream, a goal i worked for 15 years for, the sacrifices i made, my youth, my everything.. I had to let it go now.. 

No matter how long time will pass, forever i wont forget the time when we were on stage, our hands interlocked with each other as 9, it felt exhilarating, the feeling back then was that as long as we are together, there is nothing we cant do in this world. It felt as if we were invincible. 

We have been through so much together. Our harsh and long trainee days, those times when we were longing for our debut, when we finally debuted, the amount of hate was almost unbearable if it weren’t for my 8 members, our black ocean, i remembered how at that time our color, pastel rose, shone so brightly in the darkness.. how we worked our off just for a successful comeback, how tense we were back then, when we thought we couldn’t reach music bank on time, to receive our very first win trophy. 

but, right now all i can say is a simple SORRY.. 

and this whole year i missed you guys a lot, a lot more than you could imagine, lets meet again one day shall we? 

 YOONA

"okay guys, filming will continue when we board the plane, so in the meantime the cameras will stop rolling." The cameraman director shouted. Yes, girls generation is filming for a new variety show, who would actually expected SM make us the casts in kbs' new goodsunday line up and for the first episode filming will take place in Shanghai, when we first heard this, we were all so excited since it has been quite some time since the 8 of us would host a variety show together. No, more like the first time doing a variety show as 8. 

As we boarded the plane, my eyes caught a sight of a blond female with sunglasses who just entered the plane, she looks so familiar to me, that i keep on staring at her that i almost forgot that we are currently filming, 

No, it cant be, such coincidences only happens in those dramas not real life, snap out of it yoona . You've got some filming to do. i took 1 last glance at her. i gasped, when i saw her taking off her shades. No way. 

We’re standing face to face, just like that day

The beautiful stories we wrote back then

The promises we prayed back then

It all came back to me one by one

I’ve lived for 1 year trying to forget the promises and the memories, why? Because my heart would hurt so much when I remember those promises we couldn’t keep and the moments that will never come again.. we promised we would go till the end as 9, but I guess we in keeping promises and now seeing you here in front of me, my efforts to forget everything, were all in vain.

 Please remember, we would always welcome you back, no matter what.. I miss you unnie.. have you been well for this 1 year?

I knew my heart wont be able to take this

For you I held it back even more

SUNNY

The pain was overwhelming. It was too much for a 26 year old me to handle. Those nights when I cried myself to sleep thinking of you. Those songs without your voice soaring in the air. Those practices we did without you.. It hurts a lot sica. Today when I saw you face to face, these feelings came back to me unknowingly. Hurting me once again. This was a dream we dreamt together, and achieved together, and by together I mean as 9, without you there, it means nothing.

So how has your one year been? Are you doing fine? If you do, im happy for you.

For a long time I have lived having forgotten of you

For a while, it seemed like it was okay

But as time passes by, I come to realize

That without you, I can’t go on

TIFFANY

These past few months I thought im doing okay.. I thought I could finally let you go.. but all the attempts I made to move on was simply shattered by the sight of you standing in front of me face to face. For one year, I tried my best to smile, when actually im dying inside. The times when I sang your part during our songs, I tried my best to nail it, but no matter how hard I tried. I couldn’t. our songs will no longer be the same without you. It felt as if we’re finished, when you left.

How has your one year been? I missed you.. we all do

At that time, If only we had been a bit more mature


If only we knew how we would be right now


SEOHYUN

Maybe.. Maybe it wasn’t supposed to be this way, maybe if we could work things out, maybe we can continue our talks that were suddenly halted by the sudden announcement. Maybe we can be the snsd we used to be before, but I guess ‘maybe’ is not enough to bring you back…

How are you unnie? Is your business going well this whole year? I hope that you are happy right now..

I have no confidence in overcoming these endless regrets


So I’ve had to just repress them


One year has pass like that.

HYOYEON

Im glad that you found another dream to pursue, im glad that you became happier after you left. You were never hesitant nor afraid of the risks you are going to face and I really admire your courage.. If I were to tell everyone that im doing fine for the past year, it would definitely be a lie, but im not lying when I say that im glad to see you happier.

I missed you, our lazy princess, who would sleep for the whole day if we had our day off. How has your one year been? Did you have enough sleep?

Could your feelings perhaps be the same as mine?


Will you give me another chance?

I know now that we can never part of each other


The one person I love and love again.

SOOYOUNG

After you left, I realized, a successful comeback, selling million copies our of recent album, slaying charts and earning millions of dollars no longer give off the same happiness and accomplishment. I realized those were not our true happiness. My definition of happiness right now would be standing on the stage as 9 again. We no longer want awards, fame and popularity, we just want you back.. you are like our missing puzzle piece, because rour puzzle of life became incomplete without you. Wanting you back is a simple request sica ah, but the hardest to achieve..

How are you sica? I hope you are doing well to achieve your dream..

I wish we can go back to our good old days


To the beautiful, happy and loving days

YURI

Those days when we were working so hard to achieve our dreams, it was so beautiful.. Although those times will never come again. Im thankful.. Thankful that you were there with us, without you we wont be who we are right now.. Im thankful that you shared those happy moments with us together and thankyou that we ventured on this journey together to be the girls’ generation that people adore. I am and always will be grateful to you.

Are you doing fine this past year?

Heartbreaking stories, meaningless arguments

Let’s bury them all now


And say we’ll never bring it back up


The season changes again

Even when many years pass

Let’s never have the same feelings we had today

TAEYEON

Sica, do you remember our song, the song that made us scream in glee, because we can finally shoot a music video without learning the choreography? I need it right now, I need a time machine. I want to turn back time, our mistake turned into endless regrets, I want  to make things right once again, but I know its impossible right? Even though you coming back is impossible, healing our broken friendship is possible right? I wish our friendship will still go on for many years to come. We’ve been through so much together, I don’t want this friendship to just end this way.

Can we still be friends like how we used to?

JESSICA

As if time has stopped, i stood there, not knowing what to do, yet, the same question keep repeating itself in my head,

 "how has your one year been?" 

In that split second, all 8 other heads turned to look at me. Some had tears in their eyes, and I also felt tearing up. Then slowly each members start to form a smile in their lips, that is when I realized im also smiling at them. When I looked at their eyes, I knew they were asking the same question I asked.

When I looked at Taeyeon, her eyes, her smile, she seems to ask a different question, the longing in her eyes, the way her lips curled into a smile, her smile was different, it was pure and sincere, not the way she smiled when the cameras are rolling. That is when I get what she is asking and my answer

“ YES TAENG, OFCOURSE YES”

AUTHOR'S POV 

when they caught sight of each other, the 8 girls generation members being reunited with their last member, they forgot that they are still currently filming for their newest variety show, and the camera directors decided to stop filming until they reached Shanghai. 

"Hey, how has you one year been guys?" Jessica beamed while adjusting to her seat next to the 8 of us. 

a/n; 

okay so this whole story is more of like something i wished would happen now, i know bringing Jessica back is like i said impossible, but i really admired their friendship, and thats why im still hoping that they would remain as friends. *sigh*sigh 

i miss her soooooo much and aft seeing how the other 8 cried when singing ITNW in tokyo dome, i dont believe they kicked her out, and that soshibond is real, so i decided to write this fic 

sorry for all the mistakes  i made, im still an amateur in writing fanfics, so please help me out my commenting how i can improve my writing. 

Thanks for everyone who took their time to read this, it means a lot for me.