“You seem awfully obsessive over Sehun these past few weeks,” Luhan says softly, Jongin’s hair as they lie together under the bed sheets. Jongin closes his eyes and tries to calm himself with the smell of Luhan’s skin, but it just doesn’t seem to work.

“He’s been acting very…out of character,” Jongin murmurs.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. For a month or so, now.”

Luhan kisses the crown of his head gently, shutting his own eyes and pulling the blankets further up to preserve the warmth.

“Don’t worry too much, baby. I’m sure he just needs some time alone.”

Jongin hums in subconscious agreement, but honestly, he doesn’t think that’s what Sehun needs. He’s been alone for much too long and they’re beginning to fall out of contact, things are starting to change. This isn’t a temporary period of isolation. Jongin is genuinely afraid for their friendship.

His heart pulls but he pushes the thoughts back, trying to get some sleep, but it’s hard to when his mind won’t stop pretending that Luhan’s arms wrapped around him are Sehun’s.

“Sehun!”

Sehun almost freezes in his tracks when the sound of his name rings through the street, but for the sake of embarrassment (and avoiding the unnecessary pain) he keeps walking, pretending to have never heard the voice.

It follows him, though, and fast, matched with the sound of someone running to catch up to him.

“Sehun!”

He gasps and jolts as Jongin throws himself against his back, and arms wrap around his torso tightly, face burying into his shoulder. Sehun tries to push Jongin off him, but he’s holding on too tight.

“Oh, Sehun,” Jongin rasps, “I haven’t seen you in weeks. God, I missed you so much.”

“Jongin, let go, people are looking.”

Sehun shoves his friend off, unintentionally with much more force than needed, and Jongin stumbles back, astounded at the sudden ferocity. Sehun turns around and they stare, until Jongin finally gulps and steps back.

“I’m sorry.”

Sehun can’t find the right words to respond with.

“Sehun, why are you—why are you blocking me out? What did I do wrong?”

Jongin’s eyes sparkle with tears and Sehun avoids his gaze, heart thumping loudly in his mind. He tries to speak but no words come out – he has no words, he has nothing to say.

What did Jongin do wrong?

Jongin fell in love with a man that was perfect, with someone that is everything Sehun is not. Jongin found someone that made him happy. Jongin only wanted to share his happiness with somebody, with Sehun, and trust that his joy would be cherished and appreciated.

Jongin has done nothing wrong.

Sehun doesn’t want to feel guilty, he really doesn’t. He can’t bear the thought of being to blame for all of this. He only wanted to do what was best; he only wanted to prevent himself from hurting, from making Jongin depressed with his lack of enthusiasm.

Jongin hasn’t done anything wrong. It’s all my fault.

“Sehun?” Jongin says weakly, stepping forward, reaching out to take Sehun’s shaking hands.

Sehun turns around and runs, tears streaming from his eyes, gasping, suffocating on the scent of vanilla. Jongin doesn’t follow him.

“Jongin,” Luhan snaps angrily, “you’ve been trying to call Sehun for the past half hour, straight. He’s not going to pick up.”

Jongin doesn’t respond, irritated at Luhan’s persistence. He just wants to get in contact with his friend – he doesn’t need Luhan’s interruptions to put more stress on his already burdened back.

“Jongin, we were meant to go out for dinner tonight!”

“Luhan, please, not now.”

Luhan storms over to the bed, fuming, and snatches the phone from Jongin’s hands.

“Hey!” Jongin cries, standing up and lunging for it back. Luhan moves away, and Jongin stumbles instead.

“I’m fed up with this,” Luhan growls. “All you’ve been doing for weeks is calling Sehun, visiting Sehun, talking about Sehun, Sehun, Sehun. What about me, Jongin? Whatever happened to me, to us? Does this relationship not matter to you anymore?”

Jongin’s lips tremble and his eyes flicker from Luhan’s fiery eyes down to the phone in his hand, and he takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself.

“Do I not matter to you anymore? Or is Sehun all that you can think about?”

“He’s my best friend,” Jongin whispers, “this is so hard for me, Luhan, you have to understand…we’ve been close for—for as long as I can remember, and suddenly…suddenly—”

“Suddenly what?” Luhan explodes, throwing the phone to the floor, patience finally breaking. “Suddenly Sehun has gotten a life, and he’s decided to leave us alone to our relationship, and you can’t leave him for a single damn week? Suddenly Sehun is all you can ing think about, not me, not us! Do you even love me anymore, Jongin?!”

Jongin feels a searing pain through his heart, because this is all too familiar, this is the recipe for a meltdown in a relationship. This is another rejection, another breakup, all happening so suddenly. But something else tugs at his mind – and he doesn’t want to beg and plead.

Luhan isn’t being fair. Sehun is his best friend – he has a reason to be devastated, he has a reason to be chasing after something that means so much to him. How could Luhan be so selfish?

It angers Jongin, and he steps away, hands tightening into fists. Luhan glares and Jongin stares, for minutes that drag on for hours, until Jongin breaks the intense gaze and kneels down to pick up his phone.

He leaves the room silently, and locks himself in the bathroom, sitting on the floor and staring into space.

He doesn’t cry. He simply inhales the vanilla air freshener, leans his head against the door, and waits.

“Why won’t you pick up my calls?”

“I said, off, Jongin!”

“What have I done wrong?”

Jongin has been outside Sehun’s door for fifteen minutes, and when he’s not yelling for Sehun to open the door, he’s breaking it down with his fists.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

“Sehun!”

“ off!”

And finally, for the first time since Jongin decided to try and break down Sehun’s door in an attempt to speak to him and return things back to normal, there’s silence.

A few quiet minutes pass and Sehun slowly stands from the couch, making his way over to the door to check if Jongin has left, when the sound of gentle crying stops him.

Jongin’s still there.

“I broke up with Luhan,” Jongin whispers, voice barely audible through the door, and then his footsteps are loud on the ground on the other side of the door as he runs off.

And Sehun knows there’s only one way to fix the mess his broken heart has left behind.

Sehun waits outside Jongin’s door, with two ice cream tubs cradled in a single arm, the other hovering over the door, shaking. He’s knocked loudly on this same door countless times before, but for the first time, the ice cream routine doesn’t come naturally. He’s terrified for the outcome – but he knows he has to fix what he’s destroyed.

He bangs on the door.

“Open up, Jongin.”

Sehun thought it was silent beforehand, but somehow, the quiet has intensified around him. His voice echoes slightly and he balls his fists, praying that Jongin hasn’t given up on him.

Time drags by and Sehun sighs, finally stepping back to turn around and leave, when the door creaks open slowly.

It’s as familiar as ever.

Jongin is draped in a blanket; hair messy and eyes rimmed red from crying too much. The sound of Finding Nemo drones in the background and Sehun knows it’s been on repeat since Jongin entered his apartment – but he’s sure he was never really watching it, anyway.

“Can—can I come in?” Sehun stammers, hesitantly shuffling forward, unsure whether or not the ritualistic storming through the door is permitted after what they’ve been through.

Jongin opens his mouth to say ‘no’, because he’s just so adjusted to the refusal rolling from his lips, but the words choke in his throat and he hangs his head in shame. Sehun bites down on his trembling lips, and moves forward anyway, taking Jongin’s arm and pulling them both into the apartment. He kicks the door shut behind him.

Silently, he switches off the television and collects the blankets Jongin has covered the couch with, swinging them over his shoulder to take back to the bedroom. Jongin lets Sehun lead him into the privacy of his room, and takes the ice cream when Sehun offers the tubs to him. He watches as Sehun bundles up the blankets and pillows into a small fort on his bed, and shuts his eyes when his friend turns back around, shaking from apprehension.

Sehun pauses before he slowly wraps his arms around Jongin, lifting his friend and laying him amidst the warm blankets.

“Sehun—”

“Shh.”

Sehun knows he has absolutely no right to shush Jongin, when he’s the one in the wrong, but he’s just not ready to be confronted about his actions, not yet – he needs to settle in first.

Hesitantly, Sehun crawls into bed beside Jongin, pulling the blankets up and tucking them in tightly. Jongin drops the ice cream and winds his arms around Sehun’s neck, and all of a sudden they’re lost in the warmth of the moment, pain and regret forgotten. Sehun doesn’t realise how perfectly Jongin’s head fits into the crook of his neck up until now.

“Sehun…”

Jongin’s voice is velvety smooth, notched with hurt, and his vanilla fragrance is stronger than ever being pressed up against Sehun’s body. This is where he fits, this is where he belongs. Sehun’s lungs are filled with sweet vanilla and he struggles to breathe, but the suffocating sensation has never felt so right before.

“Jongin,” Sehun chokes, “I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.”

Jongin looks up with wetness gleaming on his cheeks, and Sehun looks down with pure love coiled around his heart, squeezing every bit of adoration out of him.

Sehun realises he’s been a selfish fool. Jongin realises he’s in love. Neither knows who leans in for the kiss first.

Both of them taste vanilla.

Two hours later and at least three trips to the bathroom to hurl back up his vanilla ice cream, Jongin is left with a churning stomach and an irreplaceable fullness in his heart that he never realised the true importance of. Despite the fact that his mouth burns of acid and Sehun is half asleep on his couch after eating the majority of his fridge’s contents, he’s happy. And finally, he’s realised that this is the kind of happiness he searches for in a relationship.

This is the kind of satisfaction he craves, lacks – and has finally found.

Jongin flops onto the area of couch that Sehun hasn’t draped himself over, and tucks himself neatly between the couch and Sehun’s chest, busying his fingers and playing with the hairs on the nape of Sehun’s neck.

“Feel better?” Sehun whispers.

“Mm. You?”

“Yeah.”

Sehun rests his chin on Jongin’s head, smiling to himself, staring at the fabric of the couch. Never in his life did he think his fantasies would come true, and that he’d be the one in this position, and he’s still convincing himself that he isn’t dreaming.

“Jongin, did you really break up with Luhan?”

Jongin looks up in surprise, knitting his eyebrows.

“Yes. Of course.”

“Why?”

Jongin pauses for a moment, nibbling on his lip in thought, and Sehun watches him in curiosity, brushing hair from his forehead.

“He was being—unsupportive. Clingy. He got angry with me for trying to contact you so much. And I realised that you were more important. So…I broke up with him.”

Sehun smiles sheepishly. He fears that his stubbornness has ruined Luhan and Jongin’s friendship, but secretly, he’s pleased. All he ever wanted was to be the first priority, and finally, he’s reached first place in Jongin’s heart.

Sehun kisses Jongin’s vanilla lips softly and whispers sweet nothings against his skin, and Jongin returns them by his neck and squeezing him firmly.

“I love you, Jongin.”

“I’m sorry for putting you through so much .”

Sehun chuckles and nuzzles himself into Jongin lovingly, murmuring something about Jongin being his little vanilla pod – but Jongin pulls back after a few moments, blinking quickly.

“Did you use my shampoo?”

“Huh?”

Jongin narrows his eyes, “you smell like vanilla.”

Sehun laughs, and pulls him into a long kiss, bursting with the taste of toothpaste from Jongin’s vomiting episode, laced with vanilla, smooth like ice cream, and just as addicting. Sehun knows he won’t ever crave ice cream ever again – because finally, his daily dose of vanilla sweetness is all to himself, right beside him.