For a Little Warmth
The Prince and the Pretty BoySebastian had just returned from a long meeting when he took out his cellphone and noticed that he had missed a few calls from Michael. Ten to be precise. Sebastian was part worried and part fearful to find out why Michael was trying to get hold of him so desperately. He had spoken to Mike after that night when he had reluctantly babysat The Boy. He had explained why he had failed to return the keycard and also had related, in very brief details, how he had looked after his ‘charge’. Mike had been incredulous to know that Sebastian had not asked the boy’s name. Sebastian had laughed it off. He had protested that he didn’t need to. They were not likely to meet again. Mike had not sounded so confident in his conviction and had merely said, “We will see about that, won’t we?”
Sebastian had warned Mike not to poke his nose in his business. He didn’t even know if the boy was straight or not. Not that he was looking for a date, company or relationship. In fact he had a strictly aual life, when he was in Korea. He stayed far, far away from gay hot spots, pick up zones and hang outs. Even the underground scene, for the well-heeled, members only through strict reference, which guaranteed discretion, could not entice him to shed his strong reservations against opening himself up to chance identification from someone in his business circle. He worked in a huge corporation, which employed hundreds people and had thousands of business associates. What were the chances that he was the only one gay, among them all? Probability indicated otherwise and thus his reluctance was pragmatic. He was not interested in a long term relationship and his once a year trip to Miami took care of his needs.
In Miami, he was just another face, albeit exotic and charming, cruising the popular gay bars, picking up interested guys on South Beach, flirting with South American visitors along the marinas and basically looking for a fun time in bed. He didn’t date but he was not too easy either. He preferred matured guys, who like he, were not into games, knew what they wanted and got going soon after. In fact, he preferred married men because they were just as desperate for the company as they were fearful of being indiscrete.
He called Mike back, half ready to shoot down any risqué proposal, which he was anticipating.
Mike answered cheerfully, as usual, “Hello my dear! Where have you been hiding the entire day?”
“Um…Mike, I am working. So tell me, what is your emergency?” He said without pandering to his friendly opening.
“Ouch! Ye wound me, my friend! Here I am, the bearer of good news and you shoot me down without even giving me a chance.” Mike should had been an actor, Sebastian thought. He definitely had a flair for theatrics.
“Cut it out, Mike. I am heading to a meeting in five minutes.” He said impatiently.
“Well, the long and the short of the matter is……your boy called.” Mike paused dramatically.
Sebastian had a good idea who he was referring to but he was cautious not to jump to any hasty conclusion, which would only give more ammunition to Mike to torment him. He decided to play dumb, “Who called?”
“Yah! Kim Sebastian, don’t you play me buddy. I have known you a long time and I know that you know who I am talking about.” Mike sounded downright offended.
“Mike, please, we are not teenagers. Come right out and tell me if you have something to say.” He was a little pissed off, just a little perhaps, that Mike was holding out on him.
“He called to apologize for being bothersome. The young man sounds exceptionally soft spoken and gentle on the phone. He thanked me, he thanked you for taking care of him…profusely. He is a model with iDream Inc. His name is Lee Jong Suk and before you ask, no, he is not underage. I had Maria check his medical file. He is 25. So he is a ‘safe bet’…..did you see what I did there? …safe bet? Did you get that?” Mike was laughing at his own clever word play, though Sebastian was far from amused.
“And what has this got to do with me?” Sebastian was already walking towards the venue of his next meeting. He did not wish to give an inch to Mike to start creating trouble in his peaceful life.
“Are you not the least bit interested?” Mike probed with an uncharacteristic gentle voice.
Sebastian stopped in his tracks and popped into an empty meeting room, carefully closing and locking the door behind him.
He sat down and decided to nip this in the bud, for once and all.
“Mike, don’t do this. It’s of no use. First and foremost, you don’t even know if he is gay. Secondly, I am not into guys that young. Thirdly, I am not looking for a relationship. And, most importantly, we are in Korea. So, give up buddy. I know you mean well. But I am Ok. If you want, set me up when I am in Miami, ok?”
Mike sounded deflated, “Huh! You want to avoid this that badly, eh? Well, I guess, that’s alright, if that’s what you want. Err…umm….but Kim, I kind of got ahead of myself.”
Sebastian sat up straight with a note of alarm in his voice, “What did you do, Mike?
It was an unused warehouse on the fringes of the business district, which had been converted into a multipurpose venue for photo shoots, film shoots, art studios, popup art galleries and various other events. Tonight it was serving a dual purpose. A France based winery was launching their products in Korea with an exclusive party, in collaboration with a leading fashion and life style magazine. The company footed the bill and the magazine was glad to be a part of their marketing plan, for a handsome fee that is. Whoever had dreamed up the event had decided to step out of the box. The party was to be attended by the elites and socialites of Seoul while a group of beautiful models had been retained to mingle with the guests as brand ambassadors and an on-site photo shoot was to take place, featuring the same models. The photos were for a layout in the magazine’s special edition.
The huge double storied space was divided into three areas. One area was set up to resemble a classical Greco-Roman entertainment lounge, replete with luxurious chaise style seating and fluffy cushions on the floor. Every accent and center table was groaning under the weight of ornate salvers heaped with exotic fruits and flowers. There were gilded chalices and strategically placed decanters of wine everywhere. This was the centerpiece of the entire event, meant to be used as the backdrop of the photo shoot. Another area was set up with a cozy and informal seating system with dimly lit clusters of loveseats and a couple of chairs each that dotted the entire length of the great room. Yet another section held a huge, circular bar as the wine tasting hub.
Lee Jong Suk was dressed like the other male models. A champagne colored, one shouldered, short tunic of silk with a heavy metal and leather belt at the waist and gladiator sandals that completed the look. A faux laurel wreath on his head was the only other accessory. He was bored but years of practice had taught him to mask his feelings so much so that he sometimes wondered he had any feelings left in him anymore. He had no strong likes or dislikes, he had neither friends nor enemies; he merely lived his life according to a list made by others. Others decided what he was going to eat, when he was going to work, when he could sleep and what he was going to wear. He was a blank canvas that suited his work. He could be what the designer and the photographer envisaged him to be.
He was carrying a glass of wine that was handed to him by a sommelier. He had taken a sip and had intensely disliked the taste. So presently he was merely holding it rather than nursing the drink. He had smiled at the ladies, who had sidled up to him at various points during the course of the evening. Playing the part of a charming man-child, he had let them sample the wine from his glass and allowed them gamely to run their hand over his frame. It was all a part of the image he was required to project and he had mastered the art of it. He just had to be patient and compliant and he knew that the evening would come to an end to free him from the burden of playing the part for which he was dressed. He just had to endure it and not put up a fight. It only hurts when one fights.
From the corner of his eyes, he spied a familiar figure. The gold rimmed glasses and the beautiful smile both shone like bright sun in the long shadows that filled the room. He was dressed nattily in a dark colored blazer, ice blue dress shirt and a pair of tailored steel grey trousers. He was a picture of understated elegance, in sharp contrast to most of the attendees, who were dressed to the nines for the season’s hottest event. From the shadows, Lee Jong Suk watched as he flitted from one group of guests to another, mingling and chatting, bestowed his quiet charm and polite attention to each. The man next to him seemed close to him. They often leaned in towards each other to share whispered words and warm smiles of camaraderie. Lee Jong Suk remembered that he was the doctor who had fixed him up. And it was through him that he had met him and had found out his name………..Kim Sebastian.
Sebastian was not particularly excited to be there but found himself easily slipping into his public personae after a few minutes. He had strong reservations but he had given in to Mike’s entreaties to accompany him to the party as his plus one since Maria was out of town. Sebastian had pointed out it would be weird if they turned up together, only to be told that many people already knew that they were old college pals in the circle that they moved in. Maria was his girlfriend for all accounts and purposes, so Sebastian would be perceived as his wingman and not a date. Indeed Mike, true to his words, had been on the hunt as soon as they had grabbed their glass of wine. The incorrigible rake was already interested in a male model he had noticed. Sebastian, on his part, was trying hard not to glance around to see if the Boy was present. According to Mike, he was supposed to be here for sure.
All of a sudden there was a movement in the area set up with fake Greco-Roman furniture pieces and the crowd started moving closer to catch a better look at goings on there.
“Shall we go over there?” Mike asked, looking curiously towards that area.
“You go ahead. I know why you want a closer look. I will just sit here.” Sebastian turned to find a seat.
“Come on. I need your opinion.” Mike practically pulled Sebastian’s arm to get him moving.
With a sigh, Sebastian followed but hid in the shadows behind the more curious onlookers, who had thronged the photo shoot. The photographer and stylists were busy arranging the models into a living tableau of sorts. The female models were wearing long dresses and jewelry but the male models were all dressed in short tunics. And among them he noticed the Boy. Lee Jong Suk. He ran the name in his mind as he tried to reconcile the shy Boy with the long legged model before him. He seemed absolutely at ease, patiently holding a pose, perfecting a particular expression and over all remained unfazed as the high ceilinged structure was filled with low murmurs from the awe struck onlookers and constant noise of the shutters from a dozen cameras.
After the ensemble frames were done, each model was singled out for individual shots. The crowd around the shoot started to thin.
“So, what do you think?” Mike whispered as a handsome young man with moderately buff body stepped up for his individual shots.
Sebastian shrugged indifferently, “How does it matter? Not like you are going to date him, right?”
Mike looked at him with a sour expression, “Party pooper! What kind of wingman are you?”
“The sensible kind. Go ahead and have fun. I am sure that I can find my way home if we don’t leave together and I won’t even hold it against you.” Sebastian said evenly and meant every word of it.
Mike would have said more but for the fact that he noticed Sebastian, who seemed transfixed on something. Mike swung his head to see the scene unfolding before them. Lee Jong Suk was the individual model being shot and he was a man transformed. Both Mike and Sebastian looked on fascinated as the Boy put up a performance that robbed them both of speech. Gone was the shyness, the reticence and the uncertainty. He played up to the camera with an abandon that was intoxicatingly sensuous and bordered on a invitation to cavort. His cherry lips wet with wine, he pouted with the expertise of a seasoned lover. His lean and partially uncovered body was displayed provocatively on a chaise. Limbs splayed away from body, he exuded a beauteous charm. His eyes were inviting as they looked directly into the camera, his body posture open and welcoming, he was the living manifestation of rampant desire. The photographer sounded elated with a willing subject as he shouted encouragement and praise to the young man and noise of shutters reverberated around them.
When it was all over, the curtains on his face came down faster than the photographer’s lights dimmed. He collected himself and walked off the set with indifference.
“Wow! Man, I don’t know about you but I am a little worked up.” Mike said under his breath.
Sebastian was in a trance. His heartbeat had increased as the ‘show’ before him had progressed. The unwelcome flutter at the base of his stomach was back along with the stirrings in a region, lower than that. Only Mike’s cutting observation pulled him out of his daze. Without meaning to, he actually found himself snipe at Mike.
“It’s his job! A show! What are you? A teenage, hormone driven school boy?”
Mike was a little dumbfounded by the intensity of his words. Sebastian grabbed a passing server and ditched his glass of wine and headed off in the direction of the restrooms. Mike followed his friend’s movement and speculated if he had unknowingly stepped into his friend’s fantasy.
Sebastian didn’t want to dwell on the reason of his vexation. He was irritated at Mike’s words but was it because he was tired of his promiscuous ways or because he had taken note of the Boy in a way, which displeased Sebastian?
He opened the door to the restroom with unnecessary force and came to rest in front of the row of sinks. He leaned against the cool marble counter and braced his weight on his arms that gripped the ledge. He looked at himself in the huge mirror that ran the length of the wall behind the sinks. He face looked flushed and a scowl marred his normally placid face. He was ashamed of his ill-tempered words and he struggled to get a grip on his strange reaction. He lowered his head, closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing to relax himself.
After a couple of minutes, he thought he was winning the war on himself and looked up into the mirror. And that’s when he noticed him. Casually lounging against a stall door, behind Sebastian, dressed in his period attire, he looked strangely out of place in the ultramodern marble and chrome environment. His eyes were fixed on Sebastian but as their eyes met, the Boy lowered his eyes.
Sebastian turned around and noticed the blush that colored his skin. Gone was the bravado that was on display a few minutes ago. A man finished drying his hands and left the restrooms, leaving only the two of them in there.
“Hi Kid! How have you been?” Sebastian decided to reach out, even before he knew why.
All he got for his trouble was a faint nod from a still lowered head. A part of Sebastian’s heart felt glad to see the shy and sweet side of the Boy.
“I hope you are not going to get into trouble today. Just because it goes down easy doesn’t mean it can’t knock you off your feet. So be careful as to how much you drink, ok?” Sebastian tried to sound like an elder, a well-wisher but he came off sounding like a stern teacher.
“I don’t like wine.” The Boy said softly, still not meeting Sebastian’s eyes. “It tastes vile.”
Sebastian smiled at the honest confession. This Boy he got, not the overtly exhibitionist creature that he became before the cameras.
“Well, what is your poison of choice then?” He asked gently.
The Boy was assiduously looking at his fingernails but he answered Sebastian’s question, “Beer.”
Sebastian smiled genuinely at the Boy’s simplicity and lack of pretentions. He knew many people pretended to like wine just because it was the ‘in’ thing but they would not be caught dead confessing it.
Sebastian faced the mirror to turn on the faucet and splashed some water on his face but he was feeling better already. The few sentences he had exchanged with the Boy had made him feel lighter in his heart.
“Well, I don’t think beer features on the wine list tonight but I know a few things about wine and I think you may like a few. Moscato, Riesling, Port might be more to your taste.” Sebastian opined.
He grabbed a paper napkin and dabbed his face. He opened his eyes to see the Boy holding his glasses, which he had taken off and set aside on the counter, before washing his face. The Boy was rubbing the lens with the hem of his tunic to wipe off the water droplets that had fallen on it. Once satisfied with the result of his efforts, he handed the glasses to Sebastian. Sebastian was inexplicably touched by this unexpected simple gesture.
“Thank you. You take care now.” He forced a note of finality in his voice. The Boy merely nodded his head. But Sebastian didn’t miss the fleeting look of longing and sadness that flickered on his face.
Stepping outside he couldn’t shake off the feeling that he was somehow abandoning him. He decided to focus his attention wine tasting instead. He headed to the tasting counter and took up a bar stool. A bartender came over to him immediately and smiled courteously. Sebastian spent the next ten minutes discussing the various wines they had on offer and decided to taste the top 5 recommended by the sommelier, who managed the tasting counter. He liked one and decided to take a glass to savor it slowly and see if his first taste panned out. He left the counter to make way for other guests. Belatedly, he realized that he had not seen Mike in a while. He decided to do a complete walk through to find him before resorting to use his cell phone.
In a dark corner of the seating area he noticed something that caused him to do a double take. The Boy was sitting on a loveseat with a European gentleman. The man seemed to be murmuring something to the Boy very intently. But the thing that Sebastian noticed was the way the man had laid his hand on the Boy’s thigh. Fingers spread to maximize skin to skin contact, the hand moved ever so slightly up and down on the skin, for the short tunic had ridden up to expose the upper part of his long legs. The Boy didn’t show any sign of panic or discomfort at the intimate touch he was subjected to. He just sat taking short gulps from a glass of wine. His eyes were entirely focused on his glass. The unrest in his heart that Sebastian had just managed to repress a mere half an hour ago came roiling back.
“Well, that does answer one of your burning questions.” Sebastian recognized the voice that spoke behind him as that of Mike’s.
But he was unable tear his eyes away from the Boy and the man as they played out a scene of slow seduction that he knew by heart. And he didn’t like it, not even a tiny bit.
Mike whispered close to Sebastian’s ear, “Either step up or turn around. It’s not gentlemanly to stare.”
Sebastian turned around like an automaton, guided by his brain but his chest felt heavy and he struggled to shake off his tumultuous feelings. Mike led the way and he simply followed, resisting an urge to walk out of the building altogether. Some fresh air would be very welcome at this point he thought. But, he stuck to Mike’s side and nodded and smiled for the next half an hour, seriously thinking about an early exit plan. Finally, he confided in Mike that he was not in the mood for any further PR for the night and wanted to get away. Mike looked at his friend’s darkened face and decided against asking him to explain. He volunteered to leave with Sebastian since they had come in Mike’s car but Sebastian insisted on calling for a cab instead.
Mike moved to a secluded spot in a corner to call for a cab when he noticed him again. He was lying back on the loveseat, head tilted back and eyes closed. In the half light, he barely seemed to be breathing. But the soft light from the same inadequate source bathed his alabaster skin in a warm glow. His lips appeared especially red in contrast to his exceptionally fair skin. The dark eyelashes and brows were the only other touches of color on that delicate countenance. Sebastian felt that he had known that face and that picture of restful beauty forever. It was burned into his memory, from the Sleeping Beauty at Madame Tussauds’ to a young man lying on a hotel bed, there was something so enticing about a pretty face that was devoid of pretentions that wakefulness usually brings.
The European companion was nowhere nearby but there was another wine glass on the side table apart from the one in the Boy’s hand. Sebastian started walking towards the Boy even before he knew why. All he knew was that he had to talk to him once before he left, making sure that he was safe and taken care of. He stood next to the boy but the Boy didn’t seem to sense his presence at all.
Sebastian leaned in slightly and asked very gently, “Lee, you alright?”
The Boy’s eyes snapped open and he stared wide eyed at Sebastian, his head still resting on the top of the backrest. Soon the momentary surprise gave way to a sad smile that reminded Sebastian of Renaissance paintings of angels watching over crucified Christ. But even in that moment of admiration, he had noticed the pupils that did not bear well. Sebastian leaned in closer for a whiff but the Boy didn’t smell of alcohol and he had declared that he did not like wine. Then another piece of memory fell into place and sent a chill through his body.
Keeping his voice low but urgent, he leaned in closer to the Boy’s ear and whispered, “Lee, are you high?”
The smile was still in place but the eyes had closed as the Boy barely whispered, “I am…..happy.”
Sebastian groaned in his mind in dread as his heart did a crazy flip. This was not good. He had to make sure that he was going to be in caring hands for the rest of the night. He pulled up a single chair close to the Boy, not caring if anybody saw the two of them together looking intimate.
Sebastian reached out and laid his hand on the Boy’s and asked, “The European guy……is he your…..companion? Will you stay the night with him? Will he take care of you?”
The Boy gave him a glazed look and almost whimpered, “I don’t know. I just want to feel warm.”
Sebastian rubbed his hand in response to the Boy’s plea. He noticed the European guy approaching them but stopped when he noticed Sebastian’s close proximity to the Boy. Sebastian got up, walked over and extended his palm for a handshake and introduced himself as a friend of Lee Jong Suk. Before the other guy could say anything he pointed to the Boy and said in a concerned voice that he was afraid that Lee Jong Suk had a touch of flu. That did the trick. The other guy begged off immediately as Sebastian had hoped he would. Sebastian went back to where the Boy was and gently tugged on his arm.
“Come on Lee, let’s get you out of here.”
The Boy opened his eyes and looked confused but did not fuss over the directive. In fact he looked a little relieved to see Sebastian’s face. He stood up at Sebastian’s urging and swayed just a little. Sebastian rested his right arm on his upper arm to steady him.
“Where are your street clothes?” Sebastian asked since he guessed that it was unlikely that he had come to the party dressed in his costume.
The Boy looked around to get his bearing right and murmured, almost to himself, “The room next to the restrooms.”
Sebastian knew the way and nudged Lee to move with him. He followed Lee since he didn’t want to seem to be accompanying Lee but at the same time wanted to make sure that he was indeed going the way he was supposed to. He stopped in front of a door, beyond which Lee had disappeared and waited. And waited…and waited. After ten minutes, he knocked and waited for a response. None came his way and a fear gripped him. He barged in not caring for the consequences. It was an improvised store room with shelves on one side and a row of benches on the other.
Lee was sitting on the bench, resting his back against the wall, eyes closed….still in his costume. Sebastian rubbed his upper arm and called out gently, in spite of his irritation.
“Lee, where is your stuff? You need to change.”
Lee opened his eyes and smiled at him. “Hi! I thought I imagined you.”
Sebastian impulsively pinched his cheek and smiled back, “No, you didn’t. And here’s the proof.”
Lee scrunched up his face at the unexpected pain and rubbed his assaulted cheek.
Sebastian turned towards the shelves stacked with backpacks, purses and duffels and asked impatiently, “Which one is yours?”
“The multicolored one, third shelf.” Lee mumbled but Sebastian caught what he said. Indeed there was multicolored designer duffel. He grabbed it and smiled in spite of the severity of the situation. What’s up with this boy and his love of riotous color combinations? He dropped it on the bench next to Lee Jong Suk.
The Boy was unmindfully caressing the faux wreath that he had taken off. He murmured to himself, “My halo.” seemingly fixated on the detailed texture of the metal ornament.
Sebastian snapped his fingers between the Boy’s line of sight and the object of his fascination. “Clothes! Put on your clothes.” Exasperated, he opened up the duffel and took out the sweats that were visible on top inside. But as he pulled out a sweatshirt, a small plastic bottle fell out and rolled away on the floor. Sebastian grabbed it and read the label on the prescription bottle. There was a name on it but it was not Lee Jong Suk. He read the composition and knew his hunch was right.
“Lee, who gave you these pills? Do you even know what these are?” his deep concern was clear in his voice.
Lee Jong Suk smiled brightly as he was pulled up his sweatpants, “Happy pills.”
“These are ‘uppers’. So yes, they make you feel happy. But you are not supposed to have these without prescription and definitely not with alcohol.” Sebastian couldn’t keep the heat out of his voice.
Lee Jong Suk looked at Sebastian with a stricken expression. “You are so kind to me. Please don’t yell. I just wanted……to not think…I just need to feel warm….once in a while. I am so tired and cold all the time.”
Sebastian stood in front of the still seated boy and waved the bottle in front him and said in a stern voice, “Well, I am confiscating these. No more happy pills or whatever.”
With a cry of despair, Lee Jong Suk lunged for the bottle but Sebastian held it out of his reach, high above his head. He knew that if Lee stood up, he would easily be able to grab it back since he is slightly taller than Sebastian. So he held onto the Boy’s right shoulder with his left hand to keep him from standing up.
He almost admonished, “Lee, don’t you dare! These are bad for you. Trust me, I know what I am saying. You are better off downing a beer or two. Tell me the brand you like and I will buy you a whole case.”
All of a sudden the fight went out of Lee Jong Suk. He leaned forward and tentatively rested his forehead against Sebastian’s arm that was pressing down on his shoulder, “I can’t drink beer. It messes with the physique.”
“Well, this does worse. So, no, you are not getting these.” Sebastian said cajolingly. Then a thought struck him and he crouched down to meet Lee’s eyes, “You will not get more of these either, from wherever you got these. Please Lee, you won’t, would you?” Sebastian knew he could do precious little if he did but he had to try and get through to the sweet boy and keep him from making a terrible mistake.
Lee looked at that beautiful face in front of him and the sincere plea that shone in the eyes behind those gold rimmed glasses. He raised his palms and cupped Sebastian’s face and asked that one question he had hoped one day would be his salvation. “Why do you care so much?”
Sebastian stiffened reflexively, not used to such intimate touches. This was more intimate than having . Especially the way Lee was looking at him. As if Sebastian was the most important person in the world right now. He realized that the answer was something that could either drown or save Lee. He decided to merely surf the top layer of the feelings that he felt inside for this beautiful and fragile being in front him.
“Because you are so young and so foolish. Somebody needs to knock some sense into you.” Sebastian meant every word that he said but he knew it was more than that.
Lee smiled and murmured, “I will take that. I will take every little bit.” But Sebastian’s heart felt the yearning that lay behind those words. And probably that is why he didn’t find it in his heart to resist when Lee Jong Suk slowly withdrew his palms from around his face and instead wound his arms over Sebastian’s shoulders, drawing him into a hug. He could feel Lee rubbing his face onto his shoulder, murmuring, “You are warm, so warm. Thank You, thank you.”
A huge hole opened up in the tall towers that Sebastian had built around his heart over the years. He encircled Lee’s broad back with his free arm and whispered, “I got you, Lee.”
Comments