An update at last :D My inspiration was really away by a lot of IRL issues, most of it job related. But my writing mojo is finally coming back. I hope you guys enjoy this update ^^

The smell of cooking food is about the last thing Kyuhyun would have expected upon coming home, but the mouthwatering aroma of frying chicken tickles his senses the moment he steps over the threshold. It hits him almost as hard as Jongwoon's welcoming smile had.

'I hope you don't mind my breaking into your cupboards,' says Jongwoon lightly, already making his way back to the kitchen. ‘After picking Jihyun up from the daycare, we decided to make dinner together.'

Whatever frog that has lodged in Kyuhyun's throat - from the moment Jongwoon opened the door a minute ago - seems to double in size as Kyuhyun follows him, almost in a daze and barely comprehending the other's words. He stops short at the kitchen doorway, eyes widening.

On the stove, chicken strips are sizzling on a saucepan and a thick sauce is bubbling in another. Meanwhile, standing on a stool by the sink is his daughter, washing rice with the combined solemnity and enthusiasm that only children are capable of. Jongwoon peeks over her shoulder and smiles.

'That's very good. Try to put a little more force into it ... a bit faster ... that's it. You learn fast, Jihyun.'

Breath hitching, Kyuhyun stares at how Jihyun's face lights up at the praise, at how she puts just a little more effort into her movements. He watches how Jongwoon steps back to allow her to attempt the task alone, how he goes back to the chicken and sauce on the stove but keeps an eye on Jihyun all the same. 

Kyuhyun watches it all and wonders what is making it so hard for him to breathe. The alien idea that Jongwoon can actually make edible meals ... or the easy camaraderie between him and the child beside him, as if they have spent a lifetime together doing what they are doing now.

His heart flutters and his heart aches and Kyuhyun wants nothing more than to turn around and run until he runs off the edge of the universe. Nothing more than to run into the arms of the two people in front of him.

Jihyun is so absorbed that she only notices her father when Jongwoon offhandedly points out his presence to her. Her face splits in a smile and she splatters water drops everywhere as she joyfully gestures for her father to come see what she is doing. 

'Look Appa, I'm helping Ahjussi! We're making rice together.'

Taking a breath, Kyuhyun lets his face relax. 'Only rice?' He says teasingly, coming up to her and ruffling her hair. 'Are you sure you won't complain about wanting side dishes?'

Jihyun makes a face. 'Ahjussi is making chicken. But look, I'm making rice. Rice, Appa!' Her tone demanded her father to realise the import of her task. 

Jongwoon chuckles as he tips the chicken strips into the sauce. 'Jihyun did the most important work. A side dish is nothing without rice.'

At this, Kyuhyun receives the most pointed I told you so look he has ever seen on Jihyun's face yet. Not quite acknowledging Jongwoon, he grins down at his girl and pokes her cheek playfully. 'OK, OK, you win. Appa would starve without his Jihyun's rice. Jihyun has saved me.'

She shrieks as he tickles her, giggling. Laughing, Kyuhyun ends it with a hug and a kiss atop her head. In his peripheral vision, he is aware of Jongwoon looking at them. He clears his throat. 

'Let's get the rice in the cooker, shall we?'

He sheds his jacket and helps Jihyun to measure water onto the rice. As he works, he glances surreptitiously at Jongwoon, who has retrieved a bowl of sliced vegetables from the counter. Kyuhyun watches as he stirs them into the sauce, put the lid on and adjust the heat. With a satisfied smile, he steps back and catches Kyuhyun staring.

'What?'

'I ... it's nothing,' mumbles Kyuhyun, averting his eyes quickly. He masks his embarrassment by helping Jihyun to add salt and olive oil into the mixture of rice and water. At the end, he lets Jihyun switch on the rice cooker.

'There. Soon, you'll be the head chef of the house.' Kyuhyun gives her a wink. 

Jihyun laughs in delight, even more so when Jongwoon abruptly adds with a teasing grin, 'No doubt about that. You're already better than your father ever was.'

Kyuhyun's smile falters for half a second, his hands clenching. 

He gives Jihyun a gentle nudge towards the door. 'Go get cleaned up now. Dinner will be ready soon.'

The kitchen falls silent after she leaves. Wordlessly, Kyuhyun dons his kitchen gloves and begins to wash the dishes in the sink, ignoring Jongwoon who goes to check up on his chicken-whatever-it-is. They don't speak until Kyuhyun suddenly finds a small saucer shoved under his nose. The smell of its contents makes his mouth water as he gapes down at it, still holding a bowl and sponge under the tap.

'Tell me how it tastes.'

Kyuhyun blinks slowly at Jongwoon, unmoving. The older man holds the saucer a little closer to his lips.

'I need to know if I should add more salt or not.'

'Then you taste it,' said Kyuhyun coolly.

'I did,' says Jongwoon with a thoughtful little frown. 'But I'm not sure if the taste is exactly right or not. Once I made beef stew at the dorms and I thought it tasted fine, but everyone said I didn't add enough salt. Ryeowook told me I should probably get others to taste when I'm cooking and Hyukjae said -'

Kyuhyun cuts across him sharply, 'So, why are you asking me?'

Jongwoon stops.

'You said it yourself, I can't cook for . The hell do I know if it tastes right or not?'

Several tense seconds pass in silence, punctuated only by the sound of running water. Jongwoon peers at Kyuhyun, his face drawn and wary. 

'Is this about what I said earlier?' he asks carefully, lowering his hand a bit. 'Kyuhyun, I was only teasing. I didn't mean you can't cook now, I ... I just joked about how you couldn't before -'

It is all Kyuhyun can do to stop himself from knocking Jongwoon's hand and the saucer away. 'You can keep your jokes to yourself, hyung. I don't give a damn what I was like before or what happened before. All I care about is Jihyun and what I have now. There's no room in my life for anything else.'

He hates himself then, when his gut twists even as he spits those words out, and when his heart wrenches as Jongwoon steps back from him, looking as if he had been struck in the face. The perpetual warmth flickers out of his brown eyes and the turn of his amiable mouth hardens to stone.

Throat dry, Kyuhyun waits for Jongwoon to leave the kitchen, leave the house, leave him. A minute passes, then two, then ...

'Will you taste it anyway?' Jongwoon's tone is cool and his movement mechanical as he raises the saucer again. 'I promised Jihyun it would taste good.'

Right then, in that moment, Kyuhyun wishes more heartily than he has at any other point that Jongwoon had chosen to leave - because that would have been far less painful than hearing Jongwoon's cold voice and seeing his stony eyes.

~***~

Dinner is a cool affair.

Kyuhyun talks to Jihyun who animatedly tells him about what she did at the daycare and the new things she learned. Jongwoon talks to Jihyun who tells him her hobbies, her favourite food and her likes and dislikes. 

The adults never exchange a word.

Kyuhyun looks at Jihyun and smiles. He looks at Jongwoon and his heart drops. 

Jongwoon looks at Jihyun and laughs. He looks at nothing else.

His laughter mixes with Jihyun's chatter and lasts throughout dinner, ringing empty and hollow in Kyuhyun's ears.

~***~

Jihyun falls asleep easily that night, much to Kyuhyun's surprise. It is not that she has ever been a very loud or fussy child, even in infancy, but ever since their family boiled down to just two people, Jihyun has always taken a long time to go to sleep. It often requires Kyuhyun to sit by her bed, gently patting her hair or singing soft lullabies. 

Tonight, however, all during her bath and afterwards as she is getting dressed for bed, Jihyun tells him happily about the adventures she had with Jongwoon after he picked her up from day care. They had gone to the park and played ball, after which he had taken her to feed the pigeons that gathered at the small plaza close by. Even after coming home, they had played three rounds of hide-and-seek before Jongwoon suggested they surprise her father by making dinner. 

Kyuhyun listens to her silently, nodding and smiling at the right places while carefully keeping his feelings veiled. Her recapitulation of their day lasts until she is tucked into bed, at which point she finally concludes,

'Ahjussi is so nice, Appa! The birds like him, too. The pi - pig - pig -'

'Pigeons.'

'The pigeons! Yes, the pigeons flew to his hand! The pigeons like him. I like him too,' she decides matter-of-factly, much like how she had declared the previous night. 

The only complaint Jihyun had voiced while in the bath was that Jongwoon had refused her ice cream on the way home. Kyuhyun had chuckled and jumped at the opportunity to emphasise the importance of not spoiling her appetite with sweets. Jihyun had pouted at him, but soon became distracted with even more praise for her ahjussi.

Finally, apparently tired from her fun day out, Jihyun falls asleep within five minutes after being tucked in. Kyuhyun stays back a minute, studying the hint of smile on her sleeping face, and then leaves the room.

In the hallway, almost without conscious control, his steps come to a staggering halt in front of the guest room door. Kyuhyun gazes at it, feeling his heart pounding out a frantic beat in the deafening silence. His fingers twitch as he thinks about the person on the other side of that door, imagining Jongwoon sprawled on the bed. One leg bent at the knee, an arm under his head and the other resting on his stomach, his index finger tapping out the rhythmic ticks of the wall clock while he gazed blankly at the ceiling as he was wont to do on his insomniac nights...

Jongwoon's face flashes across his mind, the cold eyes and the hard turn of his mouth after what Kyuhyun had said-

He tears himself away from the memory, from the door, from Jongwoon. He hurries to his room, seeking protection from the warmth of his bed and the sweet oblivion of sleep, but the sheets feel cold against his skin and the darkness is heavy, pressing down to suffocate him. 

When sleep comes, it comes with vengeance. 

~***~

The first time they had kissed had been in Jongwoon's bedroom at the dorms. Past midnight in a dorm full of fellow sleeping members - any of whom who could have woken up and left their rooms at that time - the risk had been a dark ominous cloud hanging over them, even as Kyuhyun had pressed their lips harder together and Jongwoon wrapped him in his arms. Despite Jongwoon's initial hesitance and his worries, which Kyuhyun had not allowed him to voice, they still gave into the mutual desire of their own hearts.

Kyuhyun could not have said how far they might have gone that night. What had started out as a kiss to express his feelings for Jongwoon - a kiss of confession - had grown deeper, fevered and hungry. Emotions he had hardly dared acknowledge before came spilling out. It was not enough that they accepted their feelings for each other... 

He wanted all of Jongwoon. He wanted him in every way he could be had. And he - the thought had made him tremble - he wanted Jongwoon to claim all of him. He wanted Jongwoon to want him, Jongwoon to go crazy with the heat in his blood when Kyuhyun touched him ... the same way Kyuhyun did at Jongwoon's touch.

He was gasping when Jongwoon pulled away, breathing just as hard. His eyes were dark, but concern shone through.

'Kyuhyun? Are you OK? We ... we can stop...'

The last word was anathema to Kyuhyun's ears. 'No,' he said fervently, winding his fingers through Jongwoon's long hair. 'Don't - don't stop.'

He kissed him again, and again, and again, each kiss more passionate than the last. They were both kneeling on the bed by then, holding each other. As Jongwoon ran his palms up and down Kyuhyun's sides in soothing caresses, Kyuhyun daringly slid a hand under Jongwoon's shirt and traced the warm skin of his back. 

Jongwoon caught his breath audibly and Kyuhyun stilled. 

Trembling at the thought of rejection, he tentatively pressed his tongue into Jongwoon's mouth. A moment of uncertainty later Jongwoon caught his tongue between his teeth and lightly on it, making Kyuhyun whimper in both pleasure and relief at the given consent. 

As Jongwoon deepened the kiss, Kyuhyun slid his hand up Jongwoon's back, feeling the older man shiver as he his spine and traced his sharp shoulder blades. He brought his hand around to the front, dragging over Jongwoon's skin, to rest on his chest to feel his beating heart.

'Hyung,' Kyuhyun whispered shakily, pulling away so their lips were barely touching. 'Jongwoon hyung, I...' 

His voice trailed off as Jongwoon leaned around and pressed his lips just under Kyuhyun's ear, raising gooseflesh down his arms and neck.

The strength almost went out of him as Jongwoon marked Kyuhyun's skin, and biting a reddening trail down his neck, branding Kyuhyun just as he had wanted him to. Kyuhyun buried his head in Jongwoon's shoulder. He bit his lips against the desire to moan at being touched the way he had dreamed of Jongwoon touching him, at realising that Jongwoon did want him the way Kyuhyun wished. 

The hand he left on Jongwoon's chest was quivering with the intensity of his emotions. He brought it down slowly, splaying his fingers to feel the play of muscles under his skin. Jongwoon nipped at the junction between his neck and shoulder as Kyuhyun mapped his abs with his fingers, tracing his hip bone lightly and brought his hand lower still...

He hesitated for just a second as his fingers came to rest on the waistband of Jongwoon's pants. But Jongwoon's arms were still tight around him and his mouth was on his skin and Kyuhyun decided - taking a breath, he slid his palm down and pressed against the front of Jongwoon's pants. 

It stung when Jongwoon pulled away from his neck, when his arms came off him, when his fingers gripped Kyuhyun's wrist so he could do nothing further. It stung even more to see the look in Jongwoon's wide eyes, not repulsion, but conflict bordering on shock.

'Kyuhyun, I ... you ...' Jongwoon trailed off, biting his lip. 

'Do you not want me?' In some corner of his mind, even Kyuhyun was startled by the question he had never quite intended to voice aloud.

The bluntness left Jongwoon staring at him, his cheeks flushed. 'That ... that's not it, Kyuhy-'

'Because I want you.' He had come this far, he might as well see it through. 'This right now ... it - it's not something I started doing on a whim. It's not a onetime thing for me; I meant what I said about how I feel for you...'

'Kyuhyun,' said Jongwoon softly. 'I know. I do know. And it's not a whim for me, either. It's been ... building up for a long time, but -'

'You don't want me that way?' 

'It's not that. It's just ...' Jongwoon shook his head. 'It's not a small step, going that far.'

Kyuhyun swallowed. 'Hyung.'

'Go slow, you know? Let's not rush things.'

Biting his lip, Kyuhyun looked uncertainly at Jongwoon. 'As far as a relationship goes, we already know everything about each other. You're closer to me than anyone else. The only thing left, really, is the ... er, physical part.' He blushed a little, to be saying it out loud.

Thankfully, his remark made Jongwoon laugh, despite his own reddening face. 'I'm not arguing with that, but even the physical part doesn't have to be rushed. We can get to it down the road, without pressure or fear or burden, when it's right ...'

When Kyuhyun remained quiet, Jongwoon looked him in the eye and said quietly, 'I want you, Kyuhyun. More than you realise. But I don't want us to be like this, reckless and careless. I don't want to hurt each other. It's dangerous.'

The last remark drove the realisation home. 'You're afraid, aren't you? About getting caught and ... everything else.'

'I wish I didn't have to think about it, same as you, Kyuhyun ... but we can't afford to forget. We're still Super Junior. If this gets out, it's not only us that will be affected, but our members as well. The agency, the fans, but our members most of all. They're our family ... we can't do that to them.'

The truth was hard to hear, but Kyuhyun had to hear it. Accept it. Mouth dry, he nodded. 'So, what do we do?'

Jongwoon bit his lip again. 'Take it slow. Keep it hidden. No one can find out.'

A few words, but Kyuhyun felt the weight behind them. Yesung and Kyuhyun, they could never be. Not in public, at least. Not even in front of their friends. Not if they wanted Super Junior to survive.

'But ...' began Kyuhyun quietly. 

'But?'

'Between us ... just between us, can I not hide it?'

Their eyes met and Jongwoon smiled at him, weaving their fingers together. In the tenuous safety behind his closed bedroom door, he took Kyuhyun in his arms again and kissed him, a kiss that calmed the wild fires of their previous passion to languid glowing embers. He pressed Kyuhyun down into the mattress and kissed him until Kyuhyun sighed against his lips, calm and content. 

They drifted off to sleep lying against each other, sharing the same pillow.

~***~

Consciousness comes to him with all the force of a bullet train. Kyuhyun shoots up in bed, gasping and drenched in sweat. It is still dark inside his room, the only light being the faint glow of the street lamp filtering through his windows. Looking wildly around, his eyes land on the wall clock.

He has barely slept two hours. 

Shivering, Kyuhyun pushes the blanket off and draws his legs up, resting his elbows on his knees and closing his eyes. His heart continues to hammer its wild beat against his chest. Behind his eyelids, the images from his dream dance and taunt him.

Kyuhyun releases an involuntary shudder. It has been years since Jongwoon has last tormented him in his dreams.

He clenches his fists, remembering the touch of lips on his own, the heat of breath warming his neck. The dream has brought back old memories, bittersweet in their familiarity, in a turbulent clash of pleasure and aches. Kyuhyun allows himself a moment of indulgence, trying to call back what that forbidden intimacy had felt like, being able to fall into the oblivion that was Jongwoon's embrace and forget the dangers lurking just outside their cocoon of safety...

... until he abruptly recalls the instant his dream had turned from bliss to anguish. When Jongwoon had drawn back to look him in the face and Kyuhyun had seen Jongwoon's eyes, alight and burning with a frigid anger, while his mouth - that has always carried a smile for him - twisted in an ugly grimace full of accusation and the pain of betrayal ...

And then the emotions on Jongwoon's face had simply faded in the blink of an eye. Expressionless, he had hovered over Kyuhyun, eyes stony and mouth hard - the way he had looked when Kyuhyun had spat those harsh words at him earlier - and Jongwoon had leaned down and kissed him with that hard mouth.

It had burned him. It had frozen him. Kyuhyun had screamed inside his head with the agony of it and still Jongwoon had kissed him, his eyes glaring down at Kyuhyun, cold and accusing.

Waking up seems to have had little effect on bringing him out of his dream. The images are vivid and he is still shivering.

It is a solid fifteen minutes before Kyuhyun can get himself out of bed, his movements unsteady. Going back to sleep is out of the question. His sheets feel colder than ever and, for the first time in almost a year, he finds himself wishing that he had someone's warmth to wake up to. 

A memory flashes across his mind. Miran and her gentle eyes, with her dark hair fanned out across the pillow as she lay beside him, smiling at him in the morning light. Her presence had grown to be his greatest comfort during the early days when he had been battling with his overwhelming guilt ... and even much later, when he would wake up from painful dreams - dreams of someone he could never have.

On those nights, she had been there to warm his bed and soothe his heart, her open arms promising love and no judgement. Kyuhyun had tried to repay that; he had tried to convince himself that it was all that he wanted, to have Miran beside him always. 

He had not fooled anyone. Not himself, not Miran. 

He does not fool himself now. There has only ever been one person he truly wanted beside him, but acknowledging it can change nothing. Not then, not now. It is a future he has long chosen to give up.

On silent feet, he leaves the room and pads towards the kitchen, thinking of preparing some hot tea to calm his nerves. The cold seems to have soaked into his very bones and he wonders how many cups it will take to chase it away. 

At the foot of the stairs. Kyuhyun pauses. Down the hallway, the kitchen door is ajar and a shaft of light is spilling out, blinding in the darkness. His last thought is please let it be Jihyun come down to drink water before he strides forward to push the door open. 

When he is met with Jongwoon's brown eyes, Kyuhyun is not the least bit surprised. Over the past twenty four hours, it has become clear that his torment will not be over so easily.

~***~

Neither of them speaks at first. 

Jongwoon is seated at the kitchen counter, a can of cider open in front of him, his eyes sharp and very much awake. Kyuhyun avoids his gaze and proceeds to make that cup of tea, though now he highly doubts that any amount of it can soothe his soul.

It is a suffocating kind of quiet; one that Kyuhyun is quite acquainted with but has no desire to drag out. As soon as the teabag is in the mug of hot water, he makes to walk out. He has not taken three steps before Jongwoon's low voice cuts through the tense silence,

'I couldn't find a single bottle of soju.'

In spite of himself, Kyuhyun stops, lingering at the counter opposite Jongwoon. 'I don't drink alcohol. Not anymore.'

'Not even wine?' Jongwoon raises his eyebrows. 

'No. Not since...' Kyuhyun cuts himself off just in time. Discomfited, he looks down at his feet, aware of the flush on his cheeks. 

'Not since when?'

'Never mind.'

To his credit, Jongwoon does not pursue the topic. Instead, he takes a swig of cider and nods at the counter between them. 'Why don't you sit down? Drink - for lack of a better term - with me a bit...'

'I was off to sleep.'

'Right, you look like you got about as much sleep as I did,' retorts Jongwoon. 

Kyuhyun glares at him and Jongwoon looks back unflinching. With an unhappy grimace, Kyuhyun places his mug on the counter top and draws up a chair. The next minute passes in silence again, both of them sipping at their drinks, Jongwoon gazing at Kyuhyun and the latter frowning at his mug.

'Did you really mean it?'

'What?' Kyuhyun looks up warily.

'What you said. Does it all really mean nothing to you anymore?'

Kyuhyun looks away, saying nothing.

Jongwoon leans forward, his eyes searching. 'I'm not talking about just you and me. I'm talking about everything. We were a family, Kyuhyun, we were Super Junior ... we tried so hard, we worked together, we loved each other and we promised - '

'Hyung,' says Kyuhyun tightly. 'Just stop.'

'Everything we did, everything we worked for ... all of it just amounts to nothing for you?'

'I said to stop. I don't want to hear it.'

Jongwoon's fists are clenched now and trembling slightly. 'I can't believe that. I won't. You made your choice, yes, but I won't believe you don't care about anything that happened in the past.'

Kyuhyun shoves his mug away, spilling hot tea down the sides. 'The past is just that for me, hyung! The past! It’s over and done with. The only thing that matters is the now and that's it. I can't move on if all I do is look back on everything I did wrong in my life! I refuse to do that.'

The shadow that falls across Jongwoon's face makes Kyuhyun's stomach turn over. 'Was Super Junior everything you did wrong in your life?'

His jaw slackens and, for a minute, Kyuhyun cannot speak.

Jongwoon swallows and casts his gaze down, hiding his eyes. 'We ... we still care, Kyuhyun. The members ... they still care about you. They wonder how you're doing, if you're healthy and living well, and how your daughter is doing...'

Throat tight, Kyuhyun responds stiffly, 'Well, you can tell them then, when you go back.'

'They would like to see you...'

Kyuhyun sighs. 'Are we done talking now?'

Jongwoon looks up, frowning. 'Will you really not talk about it? About what happened?'

'Hyung.'

'Why -'

'There's no use in talking about it.'

'Can you really say that?' asks Jongwoon lowly, eyes hardening. 'You left without explanation, without a word to me, Kyuhyun. After everything that happened between us, you just upped and -'

'Jongwoon hyung,' Kyuhyun cuts across him sharply, 'There's nothing I have to say about anything that happened between us both. Just drop it.'

'Right ... because we were nothing, isn't that right? I meant nothing to you.'

His accusing words finally push Kyuhyun's patience over the edge. His voice rises in warning. 'You told me last night that you came here without an ulterior motive, hyung. If that's not the case, you can leave my house right now.'

Jongwoon falls quiet, nostrils flared and eyes burning with a myriad of emotions. Inhaling, Kyuhyun looks away, willing himself to calm down again.

The tension that follows is so thick that Kyuhyun wishes for nothing more than to retreat back into his bedroom, away from Jongwoon and his unwelcome questions. Yet, his legs are frozen and uncooperative, and Kyuhyun remains where he is, listening to the sound of Jongwoon breathing and the ticking of the kitchen clock. The latter seems to echo in the silence, ringing through his very veins.

Unbidden then comes a memory to Kyuhyun which colours his face even redder. The memory of another night like this, where the only sounds had been the beat of the wall clock and Jongwoon's soft breaths. However, that time the silence had not been strained, but suffused with desire. That time had not been marked with cold words, but their first touch of each other.

To his frustration and anger, Kyuhyun feels his eyes prickling and he curses his body for this betrayal. 

Eventually, Jongwoon ventures quietly, 'You're right, Kyuhyun ... I'm under your roof. I'll stop talking about Super Junior and everything else in the past, if it bothers you so.'

Kyuhyun remains silent, blinking his eyes dry.

'I won't ask about your wife, either -'

'She's not my wife,' says Kyuhyun abruptly. He inhales sharply, wondering where the drive to clarify that detail sprang from. 

When Jongwoon blinks at him, he continues hesitantly, 'You must have heard the rumours. Though I was no longer a celebrity, there were still some articles.' And more hate comments. Again.

'I ... yes, I heard about it. That you were divorced ... but I was sick of rumours and I didn't want to believe just anything.'

Kyuhyun gives a small shrug. 'The rumours were right that time.'

Jongwoon looks carefully at him. 'I did wonder yesterday why it was just you and Jihyun ... When did you divorce?'

'Does it matter? It's over now.'

His hyung remains quiet for so long that Kyuhyun fidgets slightly, wondering if now was a good time to go back to his room. There are no wisps of steam rising from his mug anymore.

At long last, 'Would you tell me her name, at least?'

The refusal is on the tip of Kyuhyun's tongue when Jongwoon adds very softly, 'Or is she a thing of the past as well?'

The question, both a statement and an accusation, pierces right through him and Kyuhyun stops breathing for a few seconds. Jongwoon looks at him, curious but guarded.

Kyuhyun exhales slowly, thinking of the years - few though they had been - he had spent with her by his side. Their journey had begun as a mistake as well, one they had both been equally guilty of, but they had chosen that path together. At the altar, he had recited his vows to her; vows to do right by her, to protect her, and love her. Every day after, he had worked hard to keep his vows. And she ... she had worked even harder. She had made up for his shortcomings as well, even knowing where his heart lay...

He owes her her name. He owes her that much at least.

'Miran.' His voice comes out barely more than a whisper. 'Her name is Park Miran.'

Jongwoon gives a small nod. 'Thank you. For telling me.' 

'Don't ask me anymore, hyung,' Kyuhyun says quietly. 'I don't want to dig up anything else.'

His hyung nods again, crossing his arms on the countertop. 'I won't. Only the present, right?'

'Yes,' replies Kyuhyun tersely. 'What I have in my life right now is all I can afford to focus on.'

'And what do you have in your life right now?'

'Jihyun.'

'Only Jihyun?'

Kyuhyun frowns. 'What else?'

Jongwoon gives him the strangest look then, his eyes glinting and his lips twitched up in what is almost a smile, but not quite. 

'Right now, under your roof, right here in front of you ... you have me, Kyuhyun. What are you going to do about that?'

~tbc~

A/N: The next update will hopefully take less time than this one did. I really love writing this fic, it gives me the opportunity to explore different sides of Kyuhyun's character ^^ 
As always, feedback and constructive criticism are highly appreciated :)