.:34:. Ever : Yes
Have You Ever
♫ Cho Sunhyun ♫
"I'll see you tomorrow!" I wave to my students as they storm out from the classroom. I gather all my stuff and put them back in my bag.
I check my Twitter but there is no recent update from three of them. I wonder what they are doing right now.
Six months went away quickly since Yoseob and Hari left Seoul. Each of them left for different reason and we were really surprised when we found about it.
A month since my shoulder was fractured, Hari asked me to go out with her. To be exact, she wanted four of us to gather together. We went to a beach but I stayed in safe distance because my bone hasn't recovered yet.
"I will miss this beach," Hari smiled as her eyes gazed on the sea. "Let's come here again when we graduate, okay?"
"Yah, you're talking as if you're going somewhere far!" I laughed but, for my surprise, none of them laughed except me. "W-What? I was joking!"
"There is something I want to talk with you," Yoseob was the one who opened up the conversation. "I got an offer to work in Taiwan from a music company. They wanted me to improve my composing skill."
I blinked. Did I just hear what I thought I heard? Yoseob was going to work overseas?
"I will study there for six months. I don't leave my study," Yoseob continued and tucked his hands inside his pockets. "I think I will miss this place too."
"What a coincidence," Hari smiled but her smile was sad. "I will take the student exchange program at Japan as well."
"What?!" I couldn't hold in anymore. "Why didn't you two tell me earlier? Why... You! Lee Gikwang! Did you know about it?"
"Gikwang knows about me but I think none of us knew about Yoseob's news," Hari muttered. "I will move to Japan next week. What about you, Yoseob?"
"Next week," Yoseob murmured, forcing a smile. "What a coincidence, eh?"
That day we walked around till midnight before parting our ways. I almost cried but Gikwang told me that it's not a forever goodbye so I held my tears back.
As much as I wanted to say something to them, to stop them, there was nothing I could do. I didn't know what I should say to them.
The day before their departure, I added a new sentence for our unfinished song which is still in Hari's hand, telling her to finish it when she returned to Seoul.
"Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart, but you don’t know what to say and you don’t know where to start?"
I wonder if Yoseob still loves Hari but I guess it's possible; even I still has a feeling towards Yoseob.
"Looks like you're cheerful as usual," a familiar voice stops me when I step out from the school building where I work as part-time teacher. "Your shoulder is all good, isn't it?"
"Yoseob!"
♫ Yang Yoseob ♫
I took a morning flight today without informing the others. I learned a lot of new experiences at Taiwan, not to mention I have new friends who share same interests with me.
Within the last six months, it's not only music which filled my life. I used these months to reflect myself against life, about what happened and what I must do in the future.
When I found out that Hari would move to Japan, I was completely shocked. Why didn't she tell me? Why did Gikwang know it before me?
I knew all the answers finally when we met in the airport before our departure. Her flight was an hour earlier than mine.
"You are a really good person, Yoseob," she said with a smile. "Can I guess that you have predicted what I will say to you?"
"You've remembered everything, haven't you?" I asked her and she gave me a simple smile. I had a feeling already because she never asked anything again since Sunhyun's incident.
"I'm sorry for not telling you," she apologized. "I don't want to hurt you more than now. I don't want to give you a false hope anymore, Yoseob."
"I know," I caressed her cheek gently. "You can't return my feeling. It's alright. I never once regretted that I love you."
I kissed her forehead and I noticed a single tear rolled down on her cheek. I wiped it away and smiled, "Don't cry. We will find our own happiness, right?"
"Yes," she smiled and I knew that I must gave up on her. Strange enough, even though it's hurt, it didn't hurt as bad as I imagined before.
Maybe because I had a feeling about it before that my heart had already prepared to be broken by her.
We still kept in touch. Four of us still contacted each other with Twitter or sometimes we did webcam to see each other.
But Sunhyun was the only one who contacted me regularly. She gave me support whenever I told her that my works were really hard.
Before I could even realize, I found myself always smiled because of her.
At first, I thought I used her as my distraction from Hari. As days passed I noticed that I never compared her to Hari; they have their own charms.
Sunhyun is different from Hari and because of that, I'm amazed by her. I am captivated by her.
"Does someone else know that you're in Seoul?" Sunhyun asks as I hand her a cup of coffee I just bought. We sit side by side at the nearby park from her apartment.
"No," I take a sip of my coffee. "I want to give a surprise to someone."
"Eh?" she tilts her head cutely. "Who is it? Hari?"
"Aish," I chuckle at her reaction. "You remind me of something. Hari asked me to send some words to complete our song."
"Have you sent it then?" she asks me calmly but I know she feels uneasy because I mentioned Hari's name.
"Don't you want to know what those words are?" I lower my hand and look at her; Sunhyun hasn't changed at all. Her smile is still dazzling.
She nods and I type the words on my phone, showing them to her.
"Have you ever found the one you’ve dreamed of all your life, you’d do just about anything to look into their eyes?"
"That's sweet," Sunhyun compliments as I put back my phone on my pocket. She sticks out her tongue to tease me, "Have you found one then?
"Now," I reach out my free hand to cup one of her cheeks. I can feel her cheek start to blush while my heart is beating rapidly, "I am looking at that person."
I lean closer and lock my lips with hers.
"I love you, Sunhyun," I rest my forehead against her after I part the kiss. "Do I still have the chance?"
"Even if I can say that you don't, I will never say it," she smiles with flushed pink cheeks and a tear rolls down on her cheek.
"I promise I'll never make you shed tears of sorrow again," I kiss her forehead. "I'll be with you."
"I love you, Sunhyun," I rest my forehead against her after I part the kiss. "Do I still have the chance?"
"Even if I can say that you don't, I will never say it," she smiles with flushed pink cheeks and a tear rolls down on her cheek.
"I promise I'll never make you shed tears of sorrow again," I kiss her forehead. "I'll be with you."
♫ Lee Gikwang ♫
"Be careful," I shout to one of my classmates as he hops on his bicycle. "Don't call me if you trip down!"
I check the clock. Sunhyun must have finished her work now. I wonder what Hari and Yoseob are doing right now.
"Hari, will you let me wait for you?"
I asked that question the night before she flied to Japan. She only looked at me with wide eyes, not answering my question.
"I know you don't want to talk about it now. I don't want to confuse you either. I just...," I paused for seconds, "...want to know."
Hari patted my head playfully, "If you find someone for you, cherish her, Gikwang. I will support you."
"You didn't answer my question," I pinched her cheeks and she chuckled. I pulled her into a hug so I could inhale her sweet scent.
"I will miss you," I whispered to her. I would miss her for sure but would she miss me too?
"I will miss singing with you," that's all she said to me. She pulled away from me, "Promise me to be happy."
I didn't answer her that night.
Six months since Renaitre stopped the activities. We couldn't even perform together before they departed because Sunhyun hasn't recovered.
Sometimes I visit our basecamp just to sleep or talk with Sunhyun when we have free times. But today I walk to the rooftop because I want to find an inspiration.
I lean my back against the fence once I arrive at the rooftop. I take out my phone and tweet the words I sent to Hari last night because she asked me for our unfinished song.
"Have you finally found the one you’ve given your heart to, only to find the one won’t give their heart to you?"
I gaze at the sky. The sun almost sets so I put down my guitar to wait for the sunset.
"Your lyrics are the most heartbreaking."
I turn around because of the familiar voice. She is standing with her favorite black jacket, closing the door behind her. She approaches me and says, "I saw you heading here when I was thinking to check the basecamp."
"W-When did you return?" I stammer because of complete shock. "Why didn't you tell me, Hari ah?"
"Surprise," she chuckles and rests her arms on the fence. "Can you make more cheerful words for the song?"
"Stop complaining," I ruffle her hair but she steps back quickly. I grab her wrist and then hug her tight.
How I miss her scent, her warmth, her voice.
"You told me to be happy, right?" I kiss her hair. "Then stay with me."
♫ Yoon Hari ♫
I rushed to the university to give Gikwang or Sunhyun a surprise. I arrived this morning with my mother while my father will return tomorrow night.
That's when I saw Gikwang was walking to the rooftop, his favorite place. I followed him secretly, wondering what he was doing alone.
When I read his tweet with the words he sent for our song last night, I showed up in front of him; and just like what I guess, he was completely shocked.
These past six months I adjusted my feeling slowly. Strange enough I still can't help myself to smile whenever Gikwang sent me a short tweet to cheer me up, attached a picture of him with Sunhyun to tell me what they're doing.
My friendship and Yoseob is still good. Looks like he has moved on from his feeling towards me, which is, of course, a good thing to know.
Actually I am afraid. Afraid that Gikwang has already moved on as well when I return to Seoul.
When he suddenly pulls me into a hug, my heart starts to beat really fast; the sign that I still love him till this moment.
"You told me to be happy, right?" I can feel he kisses my hair while I clutch on his shirt to control my heartbeat. "Then stay with me."
Is he... confessing?
He loosens his hug so he can look at me. I'm sure my face is burning red now because he looks extremely charming; he doesn't change, does he?
"I-"
Right when I want to open my mouth to say something, I feel a drop of water from the sky falls on my cheek.
I look up and the rain starts to pour. I know it has been cloudy since this evening but I don't know it will be raining this early.
"Gikwang, let's-" I want to tell him to shelter first before continue our conversation but he doesn't wait for me to finish my words.
He kisses my lips, cupping one of my cheek with his hand while his other hand wraps my waist. Just like what he did when he gave me my first kiss. Our first kiss.
Gikwang parts the kiss and speaks the words I have wanted to hear, "I love you, Hari."
"Have you ever closed your eyes and dreamed that they were there and all you can do is wait for the day that they will care?"
I whisper to him the words I used to our almost finished song. I brush his cheek with my thumb, ignoring the rain, "I guess that day has came."
I tiptoe to kiss him and smile between the kiss, murmuring softly, "I love you."
♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫
If one day someone asks one of us, "Have you ever loved someone before?"
We only have one answer,
"Yes, I have."
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