"This must have been going for a while now, isn't it?"

Gulping. Gulping the last of the liquid in the fragile bottle. The bottle faintly resembled the hollow muscular organ inside his body. Fragile, unfortunately so. 

"You call her." The annoying bartender has been talking to him for a long time now. He couldn't throw a punch though. Everything hurts. Even the way the liquid that slid down in his throat hurts so much. "You call that girl and tell her how much you love her."

How he wanted to forget the third language he learned. English. English reminds him of her. How the words smoothly exited its way out of like a song; a melody. Now, it felt like tinnitus. A ringing in his ears that wouldn't stop. It pierces through his brain like a drill. He couldn't get it out of his systems.

Donghae!

Bada!

Pabo..

Let's break—

"I can't tell her." Donghae thinks and maybe, right now, thinking helps his mind sway from something so depressing and trivial(?). With all that, the bartender doesn't even notice him because, well, he's wasted as hell as well as his body is swaying to-and-fro. 

"Dude." The bartender finally speaks after cleaning a wine glass, leaning on the counter table to examine Donghae's red face. "We're closing. How about you go home?"

Donghae replies after a few seconds of nodding. He fishes for money and a tip for the bartender and thanked him despite his drunken state. He staggers outside the pub, going straight for his car with his cloudy sight.

You can always call me if you want to.

Right. That's right. He still has the right to contact her. Scrolling.. scrolling... There! The name flashes on the screen and the nostalgia starts to kick in and it surprised him like her irregular periods, the feeling mixing with his alcoholic stance and foggy mind. The light emitted from the phone blinded him momentarily. Jung Jessica. A girl. His girl. Was his girl. 

Click! It's ringing. Donghae's waiting and he's getting impatient. The car is long forgotten and all he had his attention focused on is on the phone on his left ear. Right, why left? 

Pabo.. You know how radiation is always directed on your right ear whenever you call? Occassionally, pick up on your left.

Everything is slowly coming to him. His rationality is slowly...sinking...in.

"Hello?" 

Donghae answered hesitantly. "Hello?"

He totally needs to control his drinking problem. He just has to say to sorry and then end the mistaken phone ca—

"Donghae-ssi?" Jessica says, a voice void of happiness. But then it dawned to her, probably, and abruptly changed the pitch of her voice. Pretentious. Just like the good old times. "Oh! How have you been?"

Formal language. Donghae couldn't say sorry now. How have you been? (hopeless...I'm hopeless without you...) The person he just called was her. He starts to swear internally ( this that damn him and damn you Sooyeon you heartless wench and your y—)

He can't stay mad. Not at her. He can only stay mad at himself.

"Ah." Donghae thinks this is all just too perfect. Jessica's perfect question for Donghae's phony answer. She probably knows the answer already. She just really wanted him to suffer, doesn't she? "Perfect. I'm all good. How about..." And for no reason, he stops. He couldn't find his usual voice to ask her how she has been for the past three years. He just broke up with Dara because Jessica promised she'd still come back although she was quite vague about whom she'll be coming back home to.

Dara was a good girlfriend though every girl that saunters into Donghae's life is not the same. They're all the same. Girls who comply to his and every wishes but not her. Not Jessica. She's uptight. Every reason he throws, she counters. Everything about them is total opposite and yet...he likes her this damn much.

"How have I bee..n?" Jessica pauses and it appears like she choked the last word. "Good.."

Quiet. That's what Donghae had always been even after the moment Jessica walked out of the building three years ago. The very same trait that ruined his chance to protest and to change her mind. 

"Three years?" Good, the alcohol is slowly seeping through his vessels again. He's not very sure if this is the doings of the alcohol or just pure, pathetic hatred he has for Jessica. "Was it fun?"

"Are you drunk?"

Donghae puts his voice on the slurry one without even intending. Now that it is, he gets how Heechul shouts at him for being a weird drinker. Sober on the first minute, the second tipsy. "No. I am not. How will you explain this phone call though?"

Jessica tsked. Her infamous tsk that brought a wave of flashbacks Donghae had with it. 

He want flashbacks no more. He resists it, inducing an untimely headache. Still, he gets on with his speech."You remember that phony promise you told me before you left?" Donghae says with his voice pitching up and down. "I'll come back for you~ I'll come back for you~ Donghae~ Wait~ for~ me~ Is that how you wanted it to be after three ing years ha?"

"Donghae.." Jessica's voice is surprisingly consoling and calm. "You have to put this down right now."

He didn't comply and still continued the conversation neither of them are fond of. "You tell me right now what was the problem 3 years ago, Jessica. I want to know." Yes. He is already sober. If anything, he might know the answer tonight, once and for all.

"You are so stupid!" Jessica hollered at the other line in which Donghae imagined her face might be spewing flames right now. "You know why I broke up with you? Because you loved anyone but yourself! You are a sore and pathetic loser!"

With the sudden exchange of abysmal remarks, Donghae's behavior turns upheaval. Much for the worst, very much so. "Sooyeon Jung. I've always known you're a pretentious . I hate your ugly face and deceiving looks. Goodbye."

Jessica might've said something after his finishing words but the line was abruptly cut off. Maybe because Jessica really hates his weak gut for saying this all over the phone rather than being a rational adult and taking care of this situation personally. No, personal contact will make him feel burdened all the more. It was better this way. 

As Donghae went home, he listened to rock songs successfully burying Jessica and his still broken heart beneathe the rough lyrics.

Thanks for the memories.

Thanks for the memories.

Donghae smirks and adds an irrelevant line after the chorus. 

.

i guess im a little too mad at jessica's leave. idk but i feel donghae would be like this IF they really was involved in a relationship..... okay bye /hides/