A/N : Read the note at the end I am at where it all began.Where everything went downhill.Where my happiness was ripped away.I am at where it tortures my heart,soul and body even to breathe.I am at where I'm called a success of a person.I am at where my life was taken and given back to me again for a second only to take it away,again.

I am overwhelmed,with pain and sadness.I hate it,I hate it all.I really do.I feel the darkness engulf me.I feel my heart breaking into pieces,I feel the pain shooting through my body and piercing my heart.I've felt it for a long time that I want to put an end to it.

But then I remember why I can't,what keeps me alive.

Desire....Need....Hope.....

The voice that gives me hope.The only reason for me to live.The reason why I sing my heart out.The reason why I am happy for at least a second.The reason why I am so impatient till the night falls.

I wait for the moon to immerge from within to scare away the darkness.To spread the light.

The voice that gives me hope.The laugh that gives me joy.The chatter that gives me desire.

Now I hear it.

I forget all the pain and the worry.I forget all of it.And I wait for it to weave the fabric of happiness around me.

I see the light spreading,chasing away the darkness with baby steps.But it has already ended.I wait for the light to chase away the darkness, only to feel my heart being ripped away,to see the only ray of light being taken away.It all comes crashing down.I knew then again,that it is hopeless.That I am hopeless.I am unwanted , lonely , useless.

They say that I make them happy.But it pains me more everytime I hear it, because I know the truth. Because I know that,that every single word is a lie.Just another lie after another.I feel ashamed to know that I once believed them.I saw the hell when I saw past those well convincing lies.Now I