“Just tell her.”

“How am I supposed to tell her that, Hanna noona? What if she rejects me? It’ll break my heart and shatter it into a million pieces. And no matter how you try and put it back together again, you will never be able to find all the pieces or my poor fragile heart.”

[“Jie~!”]

Hanna yelps at the sudden tackle an nearly falls off the chair. “Stop it.”

[“Jie~!”] Zitao rubs his face all over her shoulder like an overly affectionate cat. [“You’ll buy me food, right? You’re not lying?”]

“Stop asking for food. You’ll get fat.” Yifan sits down with his tray of food, grabbing TC’s arm and pulling her towards him to sit right next to him.

“Shut up, Yifan ge. No one asked for your opinion.”

“Yah! I’m your hyung. Respect me.”

“Respect is not given, but earned.” Zitao sticks his tongue out at the other and flees to the other side of Hanna.

“Stop it. You’re acting like a bunch of kids.” Hanna scolds, pulling their arms apart as TC sits down.

Yifan nudges TC with his elbow. “Aren’t you going to give me an answer??”

“To what?”

“My proposal. I asked you a week ago. Can’t you give me your answer now?” Yifan spoons more food into his mouth, stuffing it with some side dishes and kimchi.

“Things like these require lots of thinking. I don’t want to regret it.”

“Are you saying you’ll regret saying yes to me, who knows. You’re a pain in the now, how do I know you won’t be a bigger pain later?”

Yifan opens his mouth to speak, but Hanna interrupts him.

[“Don’t even think about saying something inappropriate, you stupid Yifan.”] She grips his cheeks, forcing his mouth to open and stuffs a spoonful of rice into his mouth. [“Just shut up and eat.”]

Jongdae sighs in defeat, his shoulders slumping down as Yifan and Zitao starts bickering again. “I should just give up and die in my misery.”

Hanna glances over at Jongdae, taking note of his slumped posture. This wasn’t the look of the guy she saw when they first met. This is the look of a person beaten over and over again by an opponent too tough to beat. The only one, the only person, that’s against the relationship, is sadly, Jongdae himself. The lack of courage to confess is his only enemy. She leans over and pats his hand.

The sound of the chair scraping across the floor causes eyes to turn to TC.

“I’m leaving. I can’t even eat in peace.” She turns to Yifan with a frown. “As for your proposal…” She can see Yifan’s look of hopefulness and she smiles bright before crushing his hope and dreams. “…denied.” She turns on her heals and heads off.

“What? Why?” Yifan runs off after her as he sends a glare towards Zitao, who quickly steals it. “I’ll come back for you later.”

“Find someone else.” TC replies, flipping her hair out of her face.

“No one’s better than you for this role. It’s perfect…” His voice trails off as they both leave the cafeteria.

Hanna sets books down as Jongdae slumps down on the library table besides her. She opens her laptop as the other whines and kicks his feet under the table like a child, a pout on his puffy cheery lips.

Jongdae sighs for the nth time that day. “I want to love. I want to be loved.” He hits his head on the desk, hating how he couldn’t confess the day before, and now… Now the girl he likes thinks he’s dating Yixing. “Why? Why does everything go against me? Did I do something bad to have the universe against me?”

“Stop moping and just tell her.” She sighs at the age old problem. As far as she knows, it’s not that big of a problem as Jongdae makes it out to be.

“I can’t, Hanna noona. It’s not that easy.”

Hanna keeps her eyes on the computer screen, her fingers flying over the keyboard in great speed. “Well, you’ll have to tell her before she leaves. She’s just a transfer student you know. When it’s time to leave, she’ll leave and you won’t be able in contact with her. Then you’ll miss your chance and forever mope around like a heartbroken moron.”

“But…”

She stops and turns to Jongdae. “You only have until the end of the semester. If you don’t confess soon, you’ll lose your chance. She’ll be gone by spring.” She pokes his cheeks affectionately. “Your spring will be over before it starts.”

“Spring?”

“It’s a term used in Chinese to represent love.”

“Well, it’s going to be summer for me before spring arrives.” Jongdae smacks his forehead on the table, earning a few stares from the nearby students. “I’ll crash and burn. No, I’ll burn before I crash. I’ll die a horrible death never knowing what’s going to happen to me.”

“I thought you’re in the vocal department. Since when did you transfer out?” Hanna smiles at the frown on Jongdae’s face.

“Very funny, noona.” Jongdae exhales deeply and lifts his head back up, reaching for his music sheet notebook. “I’ll just dive into my project and try to get my mind off her.” He pulls out his glasses and rests it on the bridge of his nose. He would die if anyone sees him with his glasses. Only Hanna has the privilege to see him in them and he wants to keep it that way.

“You know that’s not going to work.”

“Yeah, but at least I’ll finish my composition project.”

“When is it due?” Hanna leans over to glances at the partial blank music sheet. “You seem to be done already, with the notes anyways.”

“I have some of the lyrics done, but I don’t know how it sounds.”

“Sing it.” Hanna lays her head on her arms on the table, turned towards him and ready to listen to Jongdae’s in process masterpiece.

“What? Now?” Jongdae glances around at the studying students. “But…”

“Oh, that’s right.” Hanna stands up and grabs Jongdae’s hand, pulling him outside to the little garden in the middle of the giant library. “Okay, sit here and sing.”

“Um, I think you should sit instead.” Jongdae shifts and pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Standing is better for air circulation.”

“Hurry, hurry.”

Jongdae pulls out his phone and flips through it, finding the pre-recorded piano version of his song. “I’m suddenly nervous.”

“You’re a great singer.”

“That doesn’t help. It gives me more pressure to live up to that expectation.”

“I won’t care if your voice cracks.”

“Gee, thanks.” Jongdae replies with a grimace.

“Anytime, ChenChen.”

He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, tapping the play button. He allows the music to flow into his body and relax him.

“아무래도 난 니가 좋아 아무런 말도 없이 웃던” He breaths in and, “나를 안아줘 babe.”

Hanna smiles and sways her body to the sound of the music. She likes it already and there’s no denying the emotion behind the words. They tell a secret, a feeling so strong that its owner finds it harder and harder to control each passing day.

“Every day I’m so lucky 숨겨왔던 내 맘을 고백 할래 너를 사랑해 ~”

A bubbly feeling arouses in her heart and she finds herself smiling brighter. She takes the music sheet from the bench next to her and sings along, her voice much softer than Jongdae’s confident vocals.

“Every day I’m so lucky 숨겨왔던 내 맘을 고백 할래 너를 사랑해 ~”

A smile appears on Jongdae’s lips at hearing Hanna’s voice, despite how she tries to hide it. The thought of his star singing the song with him fills him with warmth and love.

“보고 싶은 나의 사랑 운명이죠 피할수도 없죠”

People in the library start to turn to give their attention to Jongdae’s powerful vocals, pulled in by harmony it brings to their frustrating study session.

“Every day I’m so lucky 숨겨왔던 내 맘을 고백 할래 너를 사랑해 ~”

“That was great!” Hanna’s praise is echoed by a unanimous applause from the students inside the library. “See? They love it!”

“I still need to tweak it a bit. It’s still not good enough.” Jongdae rubs the back of his neck with a sheepish smile as he walks back into the library.

“It’s fine. It’s perfect.” She smiles and twirls her body around to face him. “Trust me, I like it.” She plops down on the chair, her eyes not leaving Jongdae’s smiling face. “It’s great the way it is. Don’t change anything. It’s the emotions behind the song that counts.”

“I don’t know. It still sounds a bit…off.” Jongdae sits back down, staring at his lyrics. “What can be missing from it?” He bites down on his lips nervously. “Yixing played the song perfectly. He never makes a mistake so why doesn’t it feel right?”

Hanna snatches the notebook out of Jongdae’s hand. “No more looking at it. Just sleep and recharge. When you look at it again, you’ll realize you’re being stupid and it’s perfect.”

“I hope you’re right.” Jongdae sighs and reaches into his bag. “I’ll be right back.” He hurries off with a familiar looking palm-sized, round, plastic container in his hand.

Hanna turns back to her computer, her hands on the keys and tapping them lightly in thought. Glancing over to Jongdae’s phone, she takes it and plugs in her headset, turning the previous song back on. An evil glint appears in her eyes and she smirks mischievously. She takes out her phone and Kakaos Lilly. ‘Hey, can you send me a selca? I accidentally deleted your picture and I need one for the contact pic.’

‘What? I’m sad. Is this your way of deleting me from your life? *poutpout*’

Hanna smirks at the remark. ‘Please, child. You are a permanent fixture in my life.’

‘I don’t know which one. They don’t look good. :(’

‘Any one’s fine.’ She goes back to typing up her piece about idiot lovers who are smitten with each other but are too afraid to confess in fear of rejection.

‘What kind are you looking for?’

Hanna pauses in her reply. What exactly is she looking for? Asking for a y picture would be weird and a kissy face one would just be the same. ‘A cute one.’

‘But I’m not cute. ;A;’

Hanna rolls her eyes at the statement. ‘Child, you’re as cute as a newborn baby kitten. Just give me a picture or I will use one of your silly face selcas so that everyone can see your not-as pretty face when you call me. I’ll make sure to show everyone.’

‘You wouldn’t!’ Another chime follows shortly after. ‘Fine. Let me find one.’

Hanna sighs heavily. It’s going to take the other a while, she knows for sure. That girl can never pick the ‘perfect’ one, because of a lot of reasons, mainly the same ones about her appearances.

“I look ugly in this one.”

“My eyes are closed.”

“Ew, no. I look hideous in that one.”

“Oh god no! Not that one! I just woke up! Look at my hair! It looks like a rat’s nest!”

“Oh my god! Is that gum in my hair?”

“Oh my god! I’m so hideous! I look like a person that stays at home all the time cuz no one loves me and I will grow old and die alone surrounded by garbage because that’s what I am! Garbage!”

And her favorites so far: I look like the cat lady that has like fifty cats because she can’t get a date to save her life!

“Look what the cat dragged in! ME!”

Personally, Hanna’s a little insulted. Cats are nice. They eat what you give them and don’t even you for feeding them late. Though, they do give death glares, a ‘puny human, I am your lord and master’ attitude, ‘feed me peasant, pet me peasant, pay attention to me peasant, modes, but they are still much better than people. They are lots cuddlier for one thing, and less of a pain in the behind. And they don’t drag anything inside if they don’t at least like it a bit. Besides, they have to put it in their mouths. And they don’t do anything they don’t want to do so if one does decide to drag Lilly in, if it does happen at some point in her life, it would be the same then has ‘I like you, human. I’m going to adopt you. You’re mine now.’

Hanna glances over at her vibrating phone.

‘I can’t decide. Help?’

She sighs and texts a reply. ‘Pretend I’m the love of your life and send me one that you want to dazzle me with.’

‘THAT’S EVEN WORSE! How is that going to help me pick? Oh god!’

‘How about the one you took during your birthday party? The one with you with your fabulous smile, your big lovely eyes, and your puckered-up lips asking for a kiss?’

‘That’s not helpful at all. -A-’

‘That’s because you take too long and they’re all pretty much the same. You look fabulous in them so stop sulking over which pic to send me and just SEND it to me.’

‘But I want to look cute.’

‘God damn it, Lilly! The only time when you’re not cute is NEVER! Just give me that picture before I shove your phone down your throat.’ Hanna tosses her phone on the table, earning a few glances and glares from the other students. “Good grief. The things I do for love.”

Hanna’s phone vibrates again. She blinks once, twice, and stares at the message on the screen. He checks the sender, yes, it’s Lilly. But the message itself is…questionable.

‘I think she rather have you-know-who instead of the phone.’

‘You know, like maybe in the recording studio so no one can hear them.’

‘Or maybe in the performance room so their voices can echo.’

‘Or maybe in the broadcasting studio.’

‘You know it happened once, right?’

‘It’ll be fun, like… Oh, I want your big fat scrumptious…’

Hanna closes the app and dials a familiar number with a scowl on her face as she heads out into the garden outside again.

“Yes, noona. What do I owe the pleasure to getting a call from you?”

“Shut it, elf prince. What are you doing playing with Lilly’s phone? Where is she?”

“I’m doing this assignment on the history of symphonies for class. I’m bored by all the studying. Lilly went to find this book she heard about and left her phone behind.”

“So you decide to invade her privacy?”

“I was curious about why she was frowning at her phone like it insulted her or something while mumbling to herself. It’s distracting you know.”

“And scrumptious? Scrumptious?!”

“I’m practicing my English. Did I use it wrong?”

“No, but that was completely unnecessary. Now I’ll have to sanitize my phone, ears, and mind.” Hanna sneers at the laugh on the other side of the call.

“Oh god! That’s priceless!”

“Shut it, elf prince.”

“Noona, that was great.” Chanyeol continues to giggle until a loud thud and a squeal interrupts him. There’s the sound of shuffling feet and soft inaudible voices. “I hate you, noona.”

She can hear the pain in his voice. “What happened? You okay?”

“Yeah. I’ll be fine. This is the curse of having long legs.”

“What you do? Laughed so hard while kicking your feet and shoved yourself and the chair backwards, lost balance with an unmanly scream and fell flat on your face?”

Chanyeol says silent on the other side, so silent that it the call might has well end. He breathes out softly. “Noona?”

“What?”

“Are you psychic?”

“It doesn’t take a genius to figure that out from the sounds you were making.”

“Gotta go. Lilly’s coming back.”

“Bye.” Hanna shakes his head as she returns back to her seat. She sees Jongdae looking over his notes, pretending to be busy. “What took you so long?”

“The library’s big, okay? Plus, I had to use the bathroom too.” He looks at her skeptically. “Why? Did something happen?”

“Nothing you need to worry about.” She looks down at her phone, smiling at the response.

‘Since Lilly can’t decide, I helped find one. Here it is.’

Hanna smiles at the picture. It was perfect. Lilly is looking at the camera with her perfectly round eyes, with her pink lips and blue shirt. Her hair is swept to the right. “Jongdae, give me your phone.”

“Why?”

“Just give it here.” Instead of waiting for the boy to give it, Hanna takes it from the table. She grins evilly, her mind plotting and scheming many of evils that can be on par with Kyungsoo’s. “Why don’t you have Lilly’s number? It’s the first step in getting to know someone. You should go get it? Want me to give it to you?”

“No, thanks.” Jongdae flinches at his own reply. “I mean, it’s not like I don’t want it. I just want to get it by myself. I want to ask her for it and…”

“You can’t even talk to her and you want to ask her for number?”

“I…” Jongdae puffs up his cheeks into a pout. “I didn’t think of that.”

“Of course you didn’t. Your head is too full of kissing Lilly, holding Lilly, loving Lilly, cuddling with Lilly, snuggling with Lilly, spooning with Lilly, eating with Lilly, holding hands with Lilly, eating with Lilly, having fun with Lilly, watching movies with Lilly, going on dates with Lilly, sharing things with Lilly, being with Lilly, that there’s no room for anything else. It’s Lilly, Lilly, Lilly, Lilly! Lilly in the morning, Lilly in the afternoon, Lilly at night.” Hanna frowns at a thought. “Just don’t think about my friend when you’re in bed with yourself, please.”

Jongdae bites down on his lips. “Um…I might have…”

“KIM JONGDAE!”

“Shhhh!!” Jongdae covers Hanna’s mouth. “It’s not anything bad!” Jongdae is dejected by Hanna’s look of suspicion. “I was just thinking if she’s the clingy type, like if she’ll hug a teddy bear or something like that.”

“Nothing else?”

“Yeah, just that. Well, and maybe what kind of clothes she wears, like a knight gown or pajamas. Or how her hair will scatter behind her head when she sleeps, or if she sleeps with her lips partially open, or if she’ll cling to me if I’m next to her. And if she’ll giggle and lean in closer if I kiss her shoulder and nibble her neck and…”

“No more details, please.”

“Sorry.” Jongdae smiles sheepishly. Motion behind Hanna catches his eyes and he looks up. He flinches at the smile face heading towards them.

“Hanna!” The girl rushes over with a smile, but the smile disappears as soon as her eyes falls on Jongdae. “Hello.” She bows her head politely.

“Do you need something, Lilly?” Hanna notices how Jongdae sits up, straightens his back a little and smooth out his clothes, trying to make himself presentable and more charming.

“Can you help me with the math homework? There are a few things I don’t understand.”

“Really? But I have to help the peach boy with his English.” Hanna turns towards Jongdae. “Hey, you’re good in math, right? You help her with it. I have to go.” She shoves Lilly towards the other with a smile. “Have fun!” She quickly escapes before either of the two can grab a hold of her. “Don’t do anything I won’t do.”

“Unnie!”

“Noona!”

Hanna stops and turns around. “No baby making, okay?” She lets out a squeal and hurries away, running out the door. “Yah.” She calls out after poking her head back in. “Use protection, ok?”

“NOONA!” Jongdae blushes profusely at the comment, wondering if all people from America are this daring. Glancing at the younger girl next to him, he suddenly starts to wonder if he can make it out of the math tutoring without any mishaps. He’s already afraid of saying something to offend her.