It didn’t take long for Yoona to recover from her cold, especially with the help of a caring friend. She could feel the blood rush towards her cheeks every time she thought back to that very day. SNSD came home finding a healthy sleeping beauty in gentle slumber. They were glad and relieved that nothing too serious had happened. Their schedules continued however in promotion of ‘The Boys’. Their results had proven that their hard work had paid off after the success in New York with SM town, as well as the consecutive wins on music shows not to mention winning the Triple Crown on ‘Inkigayo’. With the return of the ‘Wonder Girls’, they were glad to meet them, it seemed like it was a reunion of high school friends, behind the scenes were just warm chats, as on stage was friendly competition.

They had come home from the Mnet Asian Music Awards for their first time with two awards, allowing the girls to celebrate their victory for proving for the first time on MAMA that they had exceeded expectations of many this year. Finally, it was all promotion for dramas, musicals, and reality shows etc. But the girls made use of their precious time with their family members. The girls made touching confessions of their feelings on how they would not be in this position if any of the members had been selfish. It would not be Girls’ Generation without nine, and how no other group in the industry would have this special bond. Through the years of stardom, had made them realise the importance of family, making them spend as much time as they could with their families as they saw the upcoming Asia tour, American promotions as well as the Japanese promotions.

Jessica had been wearing that ‘key to her heart’ ever since the day she had found it in her bedside table. It filled her heart with his presence, constantly planting a sweet smile on her ice cold face at times. Obviously this had attracted some attention from her fellow SNSD sisters. Especially Yoona, something pierced her insides every time she tried to set eyes on it. She was contemplating between her own feelings. It was either to forget, or to love silently.

Taeyeon had launched an appeal in room changes after a heated argument with Tiffany which had shaken the whole dormitory, where nobody had dared to talk with the suspense flying in the air. But in the end it was decided that they were to change rooms to adapt to a new environment when promoting in the US.

Now the rooms were: Taeyeon & Yoona, Yuri & Jessica, Sunny & Seohyun, Hyoyeon & Sooyoung where Tiffany remained in her own room. It didn’t change much, but Taeyeon had called a private meeting with Yoona, Yuri and Tiffany which had lead them to a situation of being taken aback when their cover was blown.

“Yoona, don’t think I don’t know, please tell me honestly, don’t you treat me as a sister?” their leader had confessed one evening when all three of them were caught off guard.

Yoona pleaded guilty and fell in, from then on, she attempted to hide her feelings and try her best to forget him. Her tear supply had seemed to run out no tears seemed to occur however, counting the stars was still a difficulty with the city lights and blurred thoughts. Sometimes when Taeyeon entered the room, she would just see Yoona staring blankly up into the night sky as if she was searching for an answer that would never come. One day Yuri and Tiffany was in the room as well when Yoona abruptly asked

“Unnie, do you think I’ll ever see shooting stars from here?” she desperately needed a wish to guide her way, tell her what was right and wrong, to try to forget him.

Her question only caused Tiffany and the rest to scratch their heads as they shrugged at each other.

Winter finally wove its way through the streets of Seoul as it made the last of the leaves fall from the trees. Yoona couldn’t bring herself to sleep once again just like the countless nights she had been reminiscing, as she waited for her clock to show the time for her next schedule; however it seemed as if her clock had run out of battery, it seemed lifeless.

She sat up against her pillow, staring across at Taeyeon’s bed to confirm she was alone. All she could do was the usual when she couldn’t sleep. She looked out the window, it wasn’t even dawn. But she was sure that she’d be safe, as it wasn’t her first time doing this. She made her early morning escapade from the sleeping Taeyeon with her change of clothes ready for a refreshing jog.

It was only early winter, only cool breezes filled the air, snow was on its way but still had not arrived in the heart of Seoul. The first step she took out of her dormitory building, the chilling breeze quivered down her spine, making her shiver. She inhaled a few deep breaths and smiled looking at the street lamps,

“I beat the sun again” she glimpsed around the corner, her thoughts stopped as she realised, this was the place where he had picked her up for filming in the middle of the night with a can of warm coffee, one of the best she’s tasted in her life. There were days where she would imagine or hallucinate seeing his car parked downstairs awaiting her. But this morning, like always, the car was absent. In fact, the street was filled only with the passing traffic; no pedestrians were early enough to disturb her. She declined the chance for her mind to browse through those unnecessary thoughts like an open magazine allowing a tingle of satisfaction to arise inside her heart as she began to jog off towards the shops nearby. The only source of accompaniment was her music. 

 ***                                                                                                                                                                      

Taecyeon could just only close his eyes and that was it. As soon as he did so, he would be expectant of dreams to infiltrate his bitter-sweet reality. However, instead of those dreams he was ready for, thoughts, memories had wafted into his mind, all were about her, his one and only, Im Yoona. He sighed pitying himself, as he encountered yet another one of these sleepless mornings. He focused on the road in front of him, afraid that drowsiness would choose to arrive at the moment he wanted to clear his mind. The constant fear of falling asleep at the wheel had caused him to decide to park aside.

He made a smooth turn right, and applied the brakes at the entrance of a building. He raised his head. Miraculously, his thoughts had once again brought him to the SNSD dormitory again. Ever since that very day, he in fact had been parking here to clear his thoughts on sleepless nights, to think of her. Deep down, he was hoping he would get to at least feel her nearby to be able to breathe properly.  He never took the time to realise where his destination was until he finally arrived and looked out realising that it was the very same place he had been routinely going these past few weeks. He did not realise his purpose in coming until he reached the 2pm dorm again and found the keychain in his pocket.

 He scanned the kerb clearly; there was only one person, a jogger. Her figure seemed familiar as she began jogging off into the distance. Her hair swished behind her in a ponytail with her rhythmic movement. His mind had identified who this familiar figure was; it was who he had been thinking of every time he parked here, so close to her. It was the one who caused his heart to flutter every time she laughed, called him ‘oppa’ and smiled.  It was the one who he missed, wanted to explain everything to yet wouldn’t listen. Afraid that he’ll scare her with his abrupt appearance, he finally decided to follow her.

Before he could second it, he had already locked his car and jogged off behind Yoona. The sudden cool breeze hit him as he wrapped his scarf around his neck tighter and rubbed his hands together before he continued. She was still within his vision, but suddenly as she neared the lighted shops, he lost sight of her. He panicked for a second, worried that something bad may have happened, he doubled his pace after scanning the road, relieved that it was clear. As he reached the shops he turned two full revolutions before locating her and smiling.

****

Yoona jogged into the morning mist as dawn was approaching. She passed the bakery with the happy couple preparing inside, she waved to them, they greeted her overjoyed at recognising who it was.

“Morning Yoona ssi,” the Ajusshi would greet alongside with his wife

“Morning,  haraboji, haelmoni”

“Out for morning jog again?”

“Yes, have some thoughts I want to clear, I guess, I’ll be off”

She continued merrily as she passed the convenience store, she caught a glimpse of the middle aged lady struggling with lifting a heavy box. She quickly rushed over greeting her, immediately aiding the troubled lady.

“Oh thank you Yoona ssi, you are so kind,” She sighed as she placed a hand on her aching back, watching Yoona carry the box from beside the tree and into the store, returning for the other box.

“Are you sure you can carry that?”

“I am the strongest out of all my sisters,” she joked as she began lifting the second box. With a sudden slip of her hand, she lost grip and the cans inside rattled as it fell to the floor. Yoona reacted quickly but had only managed to move one foot out of the way. The box landed on her foot, as she closed her eyes in hope that it would help minimise the pain. The lady quickly helped her to sit down on the wall around the tree,

“Aigoo, are you alright Yoona ssi?” she patted Yoona on the back and rested her there,

“I’m fine; I still need to do the other box,”

“No, just wait here, don’t move, I’ll go in and grab my first aid kit.”

Yoona watched as the ajhumma rushed back into her store, panicking and saying “Aigoo, what to do?” all the way and disappeared inside.

Yoona limped over towards the box again, and was about to bend down at a second attempt.

****  

Taecyeon saw the whole scene of her assisting the lady, not once did that smile vanish from her face, not even when she lifted the heavy looking load. She was an angel, with a kind heart; she was the only one that could keep Taecyeon’s heart locked up and he was positive of it.

As she returned from inside the store, he smiled as he saw her laugh gently as she joked with the store owner.  The next thing that happened nearly made his heart stop; she dropped the box onto her foot and held the pain inside. He was about to immediately rush to her, but rethought his situation, the storekeeper was still there, it may be troublesome if he just rushed out of nowhere and helped them. He waited patiently watching from afar, as she was left safely on the bench and the storekeeper frantically rushed inside.

It was his chance, as he strode over to the now limping girl. He knew her too much; it wouldn’t be her if she didn’t finish helping the storekeeper. It was this clumsiness along with everything else that made him fall for her.

He stopped in front of the crouching Yoona, ready to attempt the second time, he stooped down.

Yoona looked up following the pair of feet in front of her and recognised the familiar face. Her heart was going crazy, as if it was having a disorder, it was beating too fast. She had waited to see him for so long it felt like years, the patience that was needed was incredible, yet she had made it through. She couldn’t help but return the smile as he stooped down and gave her a gentle smile as he picked the box up with ease, helping her up as well.

“Im Yoona, stay here and don’t move” he turned and went inside the store placing the box of goods carefully on top of the other box that Yoona had left. Yoona stood there in awe, slightly open in between a gape and a laugh, surprised at what had just happened.

“Oppa, how come you’re here?”

“It’s a long story,” he replied as he helped her over to the wall once again.

“but how did you?”

“First, Im Yoona, Do you know how clumsy you are?” he

“Yah, my hand just slipped, I’m not clumsy” she pouted and tried to defend herself

“Just admit it, will you?” he gave her the doubtful stare.

“OK I am,” they giggled together as the store keeper returned,

“Oh, I am so sorry, Yoona ssi” she stopped in her tracks as she registered Taecyeon’s presence.

“ahjumma, I really am fine,” she reassured with her bright doe eyed smile. She couldn’t help giggling at the surprised face she had, when she realised the presence of the towering Taecyeon besides her.

“I think I can help her home, I just happened to pass by” He slightly nodded his head to the storekeeper, to show respect. 

“Are you sure”

“Look ahjumma, there are some customers, you should go in and take care of them, I’ll take care of her from here.”

“I guess I can’t second that thought, well thank you, please take care of her” before she re-entered the store, she couldn’t help but allow herself sneak another look back at the two.

Taecyeon and Yoona looked at each other and began laughing.

“You don’t need to help me home, I can still walk” Yoona took a few steps, still limping in front of Taecyeon

“That doesn’t show me anything, now hurry up” Taecyeon kneeled down on one leg and indicated her to get on his back.

“I’m serious, it’s not that convenient, we’re in public”

“It’s dawn, Yoona, only the neighbourhood shops are here, there aren’t any reporters so relax” he stood up to reassure her as he looked into her eyes making her look away shyly.

“ok…” she pouted.

“Wipe that pout off your face, it’s too cute,” he caressed her hair. Yoona’s face flushed a shade of pink.

“Now before you catch another cold,” he took off his scarf and wrapped it around Yoona before he knelt down again. She was smiling and blushing to herself, her ears were filled with sugar, her heartbeat was at her ears. She couldn’t control her thoughts, as she slowly climbed on and wrapped her arms around his shoulder. She felt comfortable being protected by him.

“See, you’re not that heavy…”

“But still…” she retorted as Taecyeon set off back down the road they had come from,

“So… Why are you up so early?”

“I… kind of had some thoughts that kind of disturbed my sleep.”

“is that so? You still shouldn’t come out by yourself so early. Do you realise how dangerous it can be?”

“It’s not dangerous, I’ve done this before…How come you’re out here so early then?”

“Clearing out some thoughts, couldn’t sleep”

“See, same problem… and you’re by yourself too!” she complained

“Im Yoona,” he laughed “I’m a guy, I can protect myself, you need someone to protect you.”

Yoona could feel her pulse in her head, as she felt blood rush to her cheeks. She didn’t know what to say. She liked this feeling whenever he protected her, she got it during family outing when he had helped her defeat Heechul during the balloon combat.

“Don’t do it next time alright? No matter how tangled your thoughts are”

“Yes, sir”

“Oppa, have you ever seen the sunrise like this before?”

“What, when carrying someone on my back? No, it’s my first time; it’s a fresh experience, Have you?”

“Of course not, how do I carry myself on my back? It’s my first time watching the sunrise while being carried; actually I think it’s the first time I watched the sunrise…”

“Now that I think about it, I think me too.”

“You haven’t done it with your previous girlfriends?”

“Yah, Im Yoona, listen to me now, I only had one girlfriend, and I didn’t carry her while watching the sunrise, in fact, that makes you the first girl I have carried on my back while watching the sunrise, Feel honoured!” he laughed

“Yah, Ok Taecyeon watch your mouth!” she slapped his shoulder lightly. She couldn’t take it anymore; her heart was going to explode at this rate. She had forgotten all about trying to forget since the moment he declared his presence back at the convenience store.

“Yes, Sorry miss” he continued to walk and giggled to himself, as Yoona rolled her eyes. She looked away from him, trying to normalise her heart rate. She decided not to talk to him anymore as she suddenly got the flash of Jessica’s sweet smile as she was wearing the new necklace.

She could only silently hold onto and cherish every moment they had now till they reached back to her dorm. There was silence between them, but it was better that way, it seemed as if they understood each other more when they said nothing at all. Yoona had been denying the fact that she could not forget him. There was evidence of it but she could not analyse it such as that unique feeling that she wanted to slow down time and wished that everything would fall in place as it was right at that moment. As she closed her eyes, she didn’t realise it but she had a sweet smile on her face.

***

Yoona felt a gentle touch tapping her, reviving her from her short nap.

“We’re here,” he whispered to her as he let her on her feet. She was just about to search for her keys when suddenly the door swung open. At that very moment, before seeing who it was, she feared that it may be Jessica. She was afraid that she’ll cause a misunderstanding. She was afraid she’ll ruin his future and Sica’s happiness. She widened her eyes as Taecyeon gasped, when they realised that it was only a drowsy Taeyeon who opened the door blankly and turned around

“Tayeon ssi, you surprised us” he laughed as he placed a hand on his chest. Both Taecyeon and Yoona were waiting for a reply; instead, nothing came back, not even a polite greeting which was what you would always see from any soshi member.

Yoona finally realised what it might be

“I think Taeyeon unnie, is sleepwalking again” she whispered into Taecyeon’s ear, as they followed her into the dormitory. Yoona glanced around to make sure the coast is clear. The morning sun was breaking through the curtains already, but nobody was awake yet. All the motion in the dorm was just the ticking of the clock, and Taeyeon closing the door to hers and Yoona’s room. Nothing else was heard from inside the building.

“Umm… I think we should go back outside before any other unnie gets the wrong idea.” She whispered and indicated the exit. Taecyeon merely nodded, confused at why Yoona had a sudden change in her expression, it seemed like it was masked by false pretence.

They went outside to the hallway before she had even closed the door properly, Yoona began talking to make it clear to Taecyeon that she really didn’t want any of her unnies to get the wrong idea anymore especially Jessica.

“oppa,” she showed a strained smile “I know that we are still friends, but through this time, I think we shouldn’t act this close, it might cause some misunderstandings… so I think it best if we didn’t see each other like this.”

“What do you mean Yoona?” he was getting suspicious with her behaviour. His heart pounded at what would come next, either he was going to have a deep wound in his heart or he was going to have to continue to hurt her.

“Oppa, Why do you keep helping me? I just want to know why… You are confusing me to the limit. Sica unnie would be so disappointed if any misunderstandings arise between us.

“IS that what you wanted to say?” She nodded silently without returning the gaze.

“Yoona, why are you so cold all of a sudden? One minute, you’re yourself, the next you tell me try to stay away?”

“Nothing, there’s nothing wrong” she kept avoiding his eyes,

“Please tell me, why, Yoona why do you want me to stay away?” he pleaded. Yoona felt the tears swell in her eyes, her vision was all blurred and the tears made the lights twinkle like those stars she counted every night. She gathered all her courage, as she thought it would be her last chance, her last chance to end her feelings once and for all, and her last chance to let him hear her heart out.

“Because Ok Taecyeon,” she made her voice sound strong to disguise her weakness she felt inside. She was afraid that her voice and feelings would give away to his gaze. It would melt her heart, just as it always would.

“I wanted to tell you this two years ago, I didn’t realise it, I didn’t want to admit it, yes, I did fall for you,”

Taecyeon was lost for words, he remained silent, his ears were intent, but his heart hurt to realise what his ears had met, he just let her speak. His heart was slowly splitting like a small wound on a mirror.

“I thought you finally gave up on me. Why didn’t you forget me like you said you would?” He stuttered.

“Because Ok Taecyeon, I don’t think you’ve ever felt that feeling of liking someone before, or even ‘love’, In order to forget someone that you once loved, you will need to completely dislike them. And I couldn’t do that, I still can’t” she breathed in between her sobs

“You will never understand,” she still kept her eyes on him

“I hate you Ok Taecyeon, I hate you because you made me love you, every time I close my eyes, it’s all those memories” she was trying to gain enough strength to push him, she was attempting to punch hit him as hard as she could

Taecyeon held back his feelings and covered it all, he was hoping that he’ll get a chance to fix all this when Jay and Jessica had finally been recognised by the group.

“Yoona,” He took her hand gently as she launched another punch towards his chest. Please just forget me; I’m not worth your love”

“You know how hard I am trying to do that? Do you know how much time it may take to do it? I don’t want to ruin your life anymore; I don’t want my heart to flutter and my intentions to be ruined whenever you appear. So please, please oppa, just leave me alone until I can forget these feelings.”

“If that’s what I can do, here, I wanted to give these back since long ago, but I kept forgetting whenever I saw you,” he took her hand which drooped to the side of her body as she finally lost the strength, he opened her fist and he dropped her keys into her palm and closed it again. Yoona couldn’t take it anymore, she turned around and pushed the door open, but before she could take another step, she had to listen to his last words, to remember that voice forever.

 “I’m sorry for everything”

“Don’t be, I can only blame myself” she wiped those tears that were trickling from her face. She closed the door behind her and slid down onto the floor against the door she hunched there as she kept sobbing unable to accept what she just did. It was the end of it, now she could concentrate on forgetting her feelings for him.

A door opened and Taeyeon stepped out still in her pyjamas, she rushed over to the huddled Yoona and put her arm around her

“Oh, Yoona, it’s alright, everything’s going to be okay”

“I hope so unnie”

“What you did was very brave,”

“After every peak there is always the greatest drop, but I just can’t handle it anymore unnie, it hurts so much”

“You’ll always have us, we’ll always be there for you, your very own eight sisters, it won’t hurt as much, understand Yoona, just give it some time” Yoona wiped her tears off after Taeyeon’s words and nodded.

***

Yoona lay there on her bed, thinking, trying to get some sleep, trying to pretend nothing had happened. The two ignored the commotion Tiffany was causing by trying to get everyone to wake up for a roll call.

“Unnie, did you ever have a person that made you love him so much that it was impossible to forget?”

“Why all of a sudden?”  Taeyeon paused her folding of clothes.

“Because, you’ve been hiding it so well, and knowing you, because of SNSD, I’m pretty sure you tried to forget him for our future.”

“Yoona ah, it’s a secret.”

“Unnie, you put too much pressure on yourself, you should face your feelings, never deny them”

“Yoona, you put too much pressure on yourself too, and you chose what you thought was right, I just can’t be selfish”

“But sometimes, I’ve been thinking what would happen if everything turned out different?  What if you admitted to your feelings?”

“Yoona, everything’s alright now, that time would soon come”

“Taeyeon unnie, I’m serious, maybe you could try if those feelings are worth it, I’m not telling you to experiment, but if they are, you really shouldn’t hide them, because the pain is too overwhelming”

“Yoona, I’m still not so sure”

“Unnie, I’ll help you whenever that time comes when you find the definite answer. Like I always do”

“Thanks Yoona”

**********************************************

Hi guys, I finally got my computer fixed-ish

here's a very long chapter with a weird picture thingo, but sorry for the wait

I've already written ahead, just a bit more patience, sorry to all the Taecyoon shippers =(