For the words we could not say.

Description

Tap, pause, tap tap, pause, tap tap tap, pause. It means we will love each other forever, even if we are separated by time and space. We will always have this code, for the words we could not say. (Chanyeol x Kyungsoo / 1934 - 1993) 

 

Foreword


 

The sweet smell of magnolia was in the air. By the old flower tree, Chanyeol found a boy shivering and crying. The boy told him in between sobs that his name was Kyungsoo. Chanyeol thought that was the most beautiful name he had ever heard.

---

Placing Kyungsoo’s small hand in his larger ones, Chanyeol tapped gently. Tap, pause, tap tap, pause, tap tap tap, pause.

“What is this?” Kyungsoo asked.

“It’s our code.” Chanyeol smiled smugly.

“What does it mean?”

“It means we will love each other forever.”  

---

In the darkness, Chanyeol held on to a wrist way too wiry for a soldier and he looked sadly at Kyungsoo, whose eyes were still covered with bandages. “Don’t leave again,” he begged, “please don’t leave again. When the war is over, we can live together. We can go back to how it was.”     

Sighing softly, Kyungsoo clumsily cupped Chanyeol’s face, feeling the foreign stubbles on the doctor’s face. “Youth is only for reminiscing, not for reliving.” He whispered. “We cannot go back anymore.”

---

“Do you remember?” Chanyeol asked, slowly placing Kyungsoo’s weathered hand in his wrinkled ones.

Tap, pause, tap tap, pause, tap tap tap, pause.

“Yes, I remember.” Kyungsoo replied. His eyes remain closed and a small smile graced his aged face.

The magnolias will bloom again.

--- 

Chapter 1. 1934 Spring 

Chapter 2. 1944 Summer 

Chapter 3. 1952 Fall 

Chapter 4. 1993 Winter 

Epilogue. 2013 


Writen for --Lackluster-- [A Kyungsooxeveryone Writing Contest]. Prompt word: Codes. 

ANGST ALERT! Even the ending is bittersweet. It's life, what can I say. 

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
BR_exo
#1
I cried too much, a river an ocean for chansoo. Listening to EXO’s Fall song is worth it while reading.
puuedepsiz
#2
Chapter 4: I cried. A lot.
lovely_drizzle
#3
Yesterday i found a random comment about one of her fave story, she wrote down the title and the author's username, maybe i'm just another curious girl so I searched about it and here I am hehe :D
TBH, i really really hate angst's genre, my poor weak can't take it very well :(
But your story here is really well written, well plot story, and yeah well casting haha
Honestly, I'm not cry a river over this story, more than that. Your story touch my mind and maybe also my soul, I can feel it deep inside my heart (ugh i hate this mourning feelin')

Thankyou for wrote this beautiful story, dear :) I didn't regret I came here yesterday and def i'll check another story of yours :D
Wishing you all the kindness and happiness, stay healthy and well life yaa xoxo (it's not bday greeting btw hahaha)

*sorry for my bad grammar, i'm not native eng speaker, but I hope u can understand my rambling up there hehe ✌
Sooniya #4
Hi my friend
I read your fic and i loved it. I wonder if i might be able to translate it to persian. Because i want persian exoL read it too.
When i finished translation, i will make a file of that and send you if you want.
J_Range
#5
I CANT EXPRESSED HOW I LOVE THIS FIC AND I DONT KNOW WHAT DID I DO IN TWITTER BUT JUSY PRAISED THIS MASTERPIECE!! I LOVE YOU, I LOVE THIS AND EVERYTHING!! OMG THANKYOU THANKYOU!! THIS IS ONE OF THE LIST THAT I WANTED TO READ AND EXIST OMG I CANT EXPRESSED THIS IS TOO HARD! BUT I JUST WANTED TO SAY THIS IS SO INH BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE REALLH REALLY LOVE EVERY PIECE OF IT THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR EFFORTS AND SUFFERINGS JUST TO WRITE THIS ❤❤❤
yehet_pcy #6
Okay wow.... To add something objective i think the grammar could have been better here and there, but this was written last/last last year so maybe your grammar has improved in your more recent writing~ grammar aside it did not take away at all from the overall impact of this fic. Honestly this fic was just amazing in its entirety. I really want to say more because this fic deserves a better more coherent more well thought of, more insightful comment but im just... Right now i kinda feel drained because i enjoyed reading this fic so much no matter how much im saying i cried a lot... Im saying that even though i cried a lot i really did have a really WOW experience reading this in one go. My emotions were so well played with in this fic HAHHAHAHAHHA
Honestly.... Im really sorry for leaving this kind of comment. I hope i get it across how impactful this fic was to me and how heavily it has burdened my emotions HAHAHHAHAHA jk
Thank you so much for writing and sharing this wonderful chansoo fic. I dont think im forgetting this fic for a while.... Sorry again for the unsatisfying comment and thank you
Runs away bye
4/2
yehet_pcy #7
Right about the moment sehun had told chanyeol kyungsoo was dying that was the part my eyes wouldnt stop tearing up. Legit my vision was blurry for majority of the last chapter and the epilogue
They got to say goodbyes and they got to forgive each other and hold each other and look into each other's eyes. But what really broke the dam and legit had tears streaming down my cheeks as i read was when kyungsoo had said he loves chanyeol for the first and last time.
Everything after that was a blur to me and i braved on reading the rest no matter how much my chest was hurting because of how bittersweet it all was. At the epilogue when chanyeol had seen younger versions of themselves so happy and holding each other and that part about them having eternities forever there at their magnolia tree, their code.... I was legit sniffling and hastily wiping tears out o my eyes that was how emotional this fic got me and even thinking about that part has me this close to crying again brb 3/2
yehet_pcy #8
I have to say that that was the most important thing imo. How easy would it have been for him to just come home and live with chanyell the way hes always wanted. How easy would it have been to go right ahead and just let himself be loved again because chanyeol was right there and he wanted kyungsoo chanyeol was old enough to defy his father if he wanted to, bring kyungsoo back with him and nothing else would matter. But kyungsoo.... Kyungsoo who could have come back even tho chanyeol had a wife and children because chanyeol wanted him so it wouldnt have mattered if he had a family, chanyeol loved him anyway. Kyungsoo who loved chanyeol chose not to come back with him. And i was totally on board with him on that decision. In the end i wouldnt have wanted it any other way. Had i stopped reading there i wouldve convinced myself they both died right at that explosion anyway so it wouldnt have mattered if kyungsoo went with him or not.
Of course chanyeols suffering of looking for him every ing day of his lufe for forty years was something i could not overlook. That was tragic. How much of his time and his heart must he have wasted to be looking for the person whose name was non existent at that point only to find him by oure coincidence and when he was this close to dying? But i think about how kyungsoo thought he was being selfish when hed left when all i could think about was how selfless he was for thinking about them being able to move on from something that would have broken them anyway. Kyungsoo suffered in those forty years too. Whether out of regret for what he had done or out of loneliness because chanyeol just wasnt with him, or even out of physical pain brought about his cancer. 2/2
yehet_pcy #9
Im speechless...... Im sorry brb let me finish crying first before i leave my comment

Okay wow..... This was amazing. I honestly am just so overwhelmed with so many feelings... I read this all in one go and i hadnt even realized it was 27k words..... Thats how into reading this i was.... Honestly what can i say about such a fic.... Im so emotional right now im so sorry in advance i wouldnt be able to leave you a comment that will give this fic justice
I dont know why ive never read a fic that dealt with an actual timeline of a whole lifetime. This was from childhood to death and i dont know how ive never read anything like that before... Im guessing ive always stayed away from fics like that because i know this would be the effect. This being me crying at 2 in the morning over a bittersweet ending
I love everything. Chanyeol and kyungsoo's taboo friendship and then love was the most heartbreaking thing. If i had stopped reading at like the firstchapter then i wouldve convinced myself theyd end up running away together because chanyeol would totally ask that of kyungsoo, or that theyd find a way to defy society's norms and end up together in the end
But the fact was kyungsoo was mature and selfless and moved away, married someone and got a job, much like chanyeol who still pushed on with being the heir the way he was raised to be. They both lived different and separate lives without each other and at the young age they got separated they wouldnt have thought it was possible if they forced themselves to be selfish and immature about their future and the harsh realities of their lives
At the part when kyungsoo literally lost everyone and still ing survived the war.. Had i stopped reading there i would have convinced myself hed died right then and there and i wouldve been done with the fic. But then chanyeol found him and KYUNGSOO STILL LEFT 1/2