To my Kim Jongin,

Happy 20th Birthday.

I didn’t forget your birthday. Not even once. You did forget mine quite a few times (admit it). But I’ll never forget yours. Not even once.

We weren’t childhood friends to begin with. We didn’t grow up together, although we had pictures back then. I barely had memories of you when we met as kids, but Appa used to tell us a lot of stories about you… about what you’ve achieved in school, how you’re growing up. It made me try harder in school.

I was in second year high school when we met as grown-ups. I was still slightly taller than you remember? You were shy on talking to me, but I’d be occasionally gifted with your rare smiles. Did you cry before we leave back then? (I’m sure the three of us did though)

We met again during Appa’s funeral. It wasn’t the best reunion, and I was not expecting to meet a taller, more mature version of you, but the still shy you came to approach me despite the situation. You tried talking, entertaining us just to lift up the mood. Thank you. If it weren’t for you… for the times you’ve stayed by my side, for the moments you held my trembling hand, for the seconds you wiped away the tears from my eyes, I can't even imagine how broken I could've become if you weren't there in the first place. For being my strength at one of the saddest and emotionally challenging days of my life, thank you. I can’t even imagine what I would’ve done without you. You were younger yet you act like the older one for the two of us. You kept me moving forward. You even exceeded those that my current boyfriend should be doing that time.

You were there for me.

It was more than I could’ve asked for.

If soul mates were real, I guess mine would be you.

I may have done things back then that I shouldn’t have. I know I shouldn’t be bringing them up anymore, so I won’t. But… believe me. My feelings were real. They might’ve been wrong in the eyes of other people, but they were genuine. I don’t regret anything, except for the fact that I may have brought you over to something that you might regret having done so years after.

If you did, then I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for loving you too much.

You were there during my brightest days. You attended my graduation, probably one of the happiest days of my life. Thank you.

I wish I hugged you tighter that morning before you left. I’m sorry for crying too much. You must’ve been troubled right? I’m not so good w