A strong puff of cold wind gusted through the vintage-styled window and filled the small apartment with a sudden blast of chill. Shivered uncomfortably, I pulled the blanket slightly and hid my soiled face beneath it. The pillow was still moist from the aftereffects of last night’s crying, but that no longer bothered me. Why would it anyways? The pillow had always been moist. Ever since you cruelly left me behind seventeen days ago.

Mourning in annoyance, I threw the blanket aside and left the bed. I had no idea what time it was, neither did I have any idea what day it was. Those did not matter to me anymore. I had lost all interests in the world. Ever since you cruelly left me behind seventeen days ago.

Dragging my hapless body to the toilet, I stifled a yawn. My breath reeked of alcohol and my body gave off an unpleasant stench. I didn’t care. Why would I?

Reluctantly, I clumsily staggered towards the kitchen. I wasn’t hungry, or rather, my body could not sense hunger anymore. But I knew I had to eat, just to survive in this empty vessel of life. As I got closer and closer to the kitchen, a familiar aroma hit my nostrils and ignited my senses. I thought I could not feel my senses anymore, but why did that aroma hit me so hard? How could I still sense this immerse familiarity in that aroma? I must have gone crazy, I would anyways.

Curious, I searched around for that familiar aroma and it got stronger and stronger with each walking step. I followed the trace of smell and it had unknowingly brought me into the kitchen’s stove. Raising my head slightly, I looked up and saw something familiar. A person. A person who was so familiar and intimate, yet so distinct and strange. I must have seen him somewhere. The back view of his was remarkably familiar.

I let out an unconscious cough and he turned back. I looked at him in silence, scrutinising every single feature of his. That pair of puppy eyes, that high nose bridge, that endearing smile, that person looked exactly the same. I shook my head vigorously and hit my head; I must have really gone crazy. Yes, I must have! Why would I be seeing my deceased love?

That person looked away from the omelette that he was cooking a second ago and turned off the fire. With that familiar eye smile, he grabbed my waist and lifted me up slightly. “Good morning my beauty!” he chirped excitedly as he planted a kiss onto my cheek. I froze. Did Baekhyun just kiss me on my cheek? Were these all my imaginations? How could I be feeling all these so vividly?

It took me exactly 18 seconds before I could get my sanity back and pushed him aside. Violently, I slapped myself. “Woman, you must be crazy. Don’t be crazy. Baekhyun is already dead. He will never come back. Stop woman stop!” That man chortled at my words and grabbed my neck with his warm hands. “What are you saying, silly girl! I’m always here. What about dying?! I’m not going to die until we celebrate our 100thanniversary!” I froze. Yet again. How could his voice sound so incredibly similar and real? Had I all along been dreaming about his death?

“Wait... What?” I blurted out, confusing and lost. “You mean… you’re not dead?...”

Baekhyun guffawed, louder than the previous one. “Yah pabo! One more time you say I am dead, I will really make sure that you are dead!” Then, he grabbed me by my waist and spun me in the air a couple of times. I blinked, still as confused as before. What happened previously? What happened to the car accident that Baekhyun had seventeen days ago? Was I dreaming back then? Was it all a nightmare? I guessed Baekhyun had never died, for he was still kicking alive and standing right in front of me. Those must have just been a nightmare that I got, I confronted myself.

Dicing the omelette, I kept my eyes straight on the man whom I called mine. I looked at him, trying to scrutinize every single detail of him. He looked exactly the same, exactly the same as how he was before the car accident. No ugly wounds on his arms, no visible scars on his face, no blood on his body, nothing. He just looked the same, he just looked like the Baekhyun whom I loved dearly. “Dear… I know I am handsome, but can you stop looking at me and focus on your breakfast? I woke up early for that okay!” Baekhyun whined as he shook his petite frame and pointed to the plate. I let out an embarrassing smile and nodded. “Baekhyunnie, are you real?” I subconsciously blurted out yet another silly statement as I tilted my head and looked into his eyes. “YOU’RE DEAD!” He shouted excitedly as he enveloped me with his tight embrace. That hug was so real and warm. Maybe Baekhyun’s death was really nothing but a nightmare.

 After breakfast, Baekhyun and I continued with our typical weekend routine: head out to the nearest supermarket for our weekly grocery shopping, have a nice tea break, and a movie night thereafter. Everything seemed so typically real; it seemed as though Baekhyun had never left me. But the ominous feeling within me had not gone away; just somehow, there was this resounding voice within me that said all these would disappear soon, in less than 24 hours…

Everything was still incredibly familiar and same that day. And it seemed as though nothing had ever changed. Baekhyun was still here with me, helping me out with the grocery and teasing me along the way. He was still the same, perhaps just slightly tired today.

During evening, Baekhyun cooked an amazing meal for a candle-lit dinner. I had never have one with him before. He didn’t like the idea of that. He said it was just pure silliness, and despite of my continuous pleas, he always refused to agree. But somehow today, this dork must have finally felt guilty for his repeated rejections and decided to treat me good for a day.

That dinner was marvellous, perhaps the best dinner I had ever have with Baekhyun. That dork was an absolute gentleman that night. I loved him so much. I loved the night so much, but why do I feel that everything was going to end soon?...

“Dear, where do you think people go after they die?” Baekhyun randomly shot me a question. I blinked and changed my focus from the movie show to him. Turning my head towards him, I shot him a glare and hit his forehead with my knuckle. “Yah pabo, who was the one who scolded me when I was talking about you dying just now!” Baekhyun pouted and apologized sheepishly, “Oh well, I’m just curious you know…” I smiled at his pout. He always knew how to melt my heart.

“I don’t know though. Perhaps heaven for the nice souls and hell for the evil?” I blabbered, randomly trying to find an answer to satisfy his childish question. “Ahhh… then where will I be?” Baekhyun continued to ask, as though he was really serious about knowing the answer. “Yah Byun Baek Hyun, how would I know all these!? I’m barely 25 this yearrrrr!” I whined in annoyance and I laid my body against his chest. “Ah, okay okay. I got it. Let’s take it that I will be in the heaven then! If you miss me next time, just look up the sky and you will see me alright?” Baekhyun muttered, his voice getting fainter and fainter. I nodded absented-mindedly, completely having no idea that what he said was going to be true in the next few hours to come…

During the movie, Baekhyun kept nudging me for my attention, giving me complete no break to watch the movie. I tried to push him off a couple of times, but he kept coming back, whining while nudging. At last, I gave in. That puppy really knew how to capture my heart. Snuggling under his embrace, I ruffled his brown hair and played around with his beautifully carved face.

Unknowingly, it was already 23:49, just a couple more minutes before midnight. Well, time always passed this quickly when I was with him. I was at the verge of falling into my slumber. Today had been really tiring with this active kid around. The clock continued to tickle, with each tick resembling an unknown reminder of separation. I allowed myself to stay within his embrace, with my eyes slowly shutting down. Baekhyun was still wide awaken though, occasionally patting my head and singing lullaby to me. Slowly yet steadily, I began to feel a pang of fatigue overwhelming me. And the last thing that I knew before I shut my eyes was Baekhyun whispering into my ears, “Goodbye my love. I have to go now… I love you. And I always do.”