I'm not someone to celebrate Christmas. I want to believe there will be some sort of miracles in this December, but I doubt it. So I want to write my own miracle because I have the muse. I don't really like writing non-AU but I just can't help. Maybe just this once.

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There's no real holiday for an entertainer, for an idol like him. He has to work on Christmas eve and he gets nothing exciting and generally pleasing in the Christmas day. He is just tired from the last three days concert in Japan. They just came back from Japan this morning. As he wants to be as happy as the other members are in this Christmas day, he can't bring himself to join the festive. He is tired and kind of lonely. He is good at the game of pretend since that particular day thought. So he pretends to be happy around the others. He doesn't want to worry people around him.

Everyone is particularly happy being home in Christmas. They don't have any schedule until tomorrow. So despite just got home, everyone is high. Junmyeon has a Christmas dinner with his family tonight so he will be away today. The trio maknaes have movie dates. Chanyeol has a Christmas party in his father's cafe and invites Kyungsoo, Baekhyun, YiXing and Jongdae. He actually invites him, too, but he declines politely that he already has an appoinment with his friend. With his gloomy self that he neglects since that certain day. To reduce suspicion, he goes out of the dorm since afternoon. He just puts on a poor attemp of a disguise. But it is not like people will recognize him when he gets no makeup and wears very casual winter thick clothes, complete with a fluffy mask because he gets cold very easily. What an irony of his MAMA power.

He doesn't really have any place to go so he just walks randomly. He somehow ends up in Han river. He sits on a bench. There's not many people in this cold weather and today is Christmas. People choose to be at home or somewhere, preferably warm, with people they love. Everyone celebrates the happy day of Christmas. He is happy for them but he feels bitter for himself.

Minseok, by any mean, is not a strong person. He acts strong and toughs because he needs to be. But he is timid and fragile inside. He easily gets insecure, too. And by losing his two important people in the last six months is like losing his footing. He gets lost in thought easily and gets lonely easily too.

He hates to remembers them like this. He hates remembering them while he is feeling bitter about it because they are beautiful memories for him. Well, in a day like this, he can't help but thinks about them.

He remembers the day WuFan felt so distant. WuFan is similar to him. Both doesn't like to tell their inner thought to others. Both likes to keep it inside because they don't like to worry the others. But Minseok could feel it when he started spacing out more than usual. Tao always encouraged their duizhang to tell his problem to them so he wouldn't be stressed but WuFan was stubborn. He just smiled kindly to the M's maknae and ruffled his hair affectionately and told him there was nothing to worry about. But Minseok, knowing the leader for a long time and being the only person WuFan would seek for childish and spoiled attention, knew how bull his words were. The leader worries about almost everything.

His departure from the group was coming as a shock but it was not like Minseok didn't see its coming. He was kind of expecting it. That last long hug and a low whispered 'sorry' in his ear that night, without explanation, that made him confused, maybe was a sign. WuFan was so stupid to stay silent but Minseok didn't blame him. It was so WuFan to stay silent until the end and just focused at what was supposed to be needed. He suffered long enough and acted strong about it. He was so stupid.

At that time Minseok couldn't really grasp the reality. He wasn't angry at him although other members throwing tantrums about the M's leader. He tried to focus more at the upcoming tour. Eventually he was broken in one point, but he had LuHan.

LuHan was always beside him. LuHan brought him back to his normal self in no time. LuHan was his angel after all. Always been so. LuHan was his power, his support, his very very bestfriend. WuFan's departure affected both of them quite hard since the younger was their important person. But LuHan had Minseok and Minseok had LuHan. They still had each other at that time. And it wasn't like they couldn't contact WuFan at all in private if they wanted.

Minseok knew how transient LuHan's presense at that time. He already lost WuFan and he knew in no time he would lost LuHan too. He should eventually let the boy free, too.

LuHan was stronger than WuFan and himself. LuHan could just left the group with WuFan at that time but he decided to stay. Minseok didn't dare to think wishfully that he didn't leave with WuFan at that time because of him. He knew it wasn't it. But Minseok was grateful that he prolonged his leave because he didn't know what stupidness he would do if he lost both of them at the same time.

Seeing LuHan's health worsened along the passing tour, Minseok felt guilty to ever feel happy that LuHan was still beside him. He wanted to set him free as soon as possible but he had no say to the matter. It was LuHan's decision. So when the younger told him about his wish to leave the group, Minseok understood. But it didn't mean it didn't sadden him. He cried the moment LuHan said it. Minseok rarely cried but he was frustrated. His heart had been heavy since WuFan left them. And now LuHan would leave him, too. They hugged and crying together at that time. The younger kept saying 'sorry' again and again and he kept saying 'it's okay. You'll be okay' in response.

At that time MinSeok realized how depended he was to LuHan and WuFan. He couldn't imagine living without both of them at all but he had to. LuHan made him promise that he would be happier although he wasn't around him anymore. He should smile more and talk more; now that the younger wasn't there to make him happy and talk to him.

True to his promise, after LuHan's departure from the group, Minseok tried (hard) to smile more and talk more in public. He tried to entertain himself with everything around him when he walked on the airport alone. He tried not to look lonely and pathetic everytime he sat without LuHan sitting next to him in some ceremony.

He smiles bitterly at the memory and sighs. He doesn't realize there's tear rolling down his cheek. When he actually feels that one tear, he ends up crying harder. He can't stop the tears that stream helplessly from his burning eyes. He doesn't even know why he is crying. He doesn't hate LuHan or WuFan. And he is never angry with them. But why does his heart feel so painful?

He doesn't know how long he has cried. When he stops crying, the sun is almost set. He wipes the remaining tears in his cheeks and decides to just go home. It is getting cold. He doesn't like cold. He is sure the dorm is already vacant at this time and it is a good thing since he doesn't want to explain why he was crying just now.

His phone vibrates inside his pocket. He takes it out. He wonders who it is. Maybe one of the members. Maybe one of his family. His heart races when he sees the sender's name.

- 1 message received from WuFan -

He hasn't changed his number. He doesn't know how to make up his mixed feeling. He doesn't dare to speculate why WuFan decides to send him message after being absence for months. His hands shake not because of the cold weather, but due to this sudden wave of relief and anticipation. He is relieved that the tall boy texts him again after all of this time. And he anticipates what would the boy wrote to him.

He slides open his smart phone and enters the password then opens the message.

- I'm in Seoul. Please meet me? I'll wait for you in that place. Love, your FanFan -

Minseok feels like his heart stopping. Tears begin to free-fall on his cheeks. He wastes no time to run to that place. That place is a small rundown dumpling store three blocks away from the practice building that they often came to. Just the M members know about that place. The dumpling is bad and the owner doesn't even care who they are. He never cares for his customers. They often came there because they missed being ignored.

He never ran as fast as he does now. He doesn't care that he is so tired from yesterday's concert. He just wants to meet him right now. He arrives at the quiet dumpling store by 23 minutes of running. He enters the store and his heart starts beating faster than when he was running as he sees the face he longed to see so much in the middle of empty store.

The tall giant stands up from his chair and sees him in surprise. Maybe he never expects him to come at all.

"Minseok.."

The shorter man walks fast to the younger then hugs him. "Take you so long! I miss you, stupid galaxy creature!" he mumbles scolding in the younger's thick coat between sobs.

The taller man laughs softly he pushes the shorter for a bit so they can see each other's face. He cups his small round face and wipes away the tears in his cold cheeks with his thumbs. They smiles to each other, can't contain the happiness for finally seeing each other.

"I've been busy." He answers with a smile. Minseok gives a playful smile as he responds with a 'you jerk'. They laughs together then.

"I have another surprise for you." The younger male says softly. Minseok looks up at him with questioning look, until-

"Baozi!"

He turns his head to the familiar voice so fast he maybe breaks his neck. He can't believe what he sees. Meeting WuFan alone is already a miracle, and now-

"Lu-ge!" he jumps at the younger male and hugs him tight and starts crying again. "You idiot deer! I miss you so much."

LuHan hugs back the smaller male. "I miss you too, Minseok. I miss you. Please stop crying. Your snot gets on my coat." Minseok pulls himself away from him and hits his arms.

"Bastard," he says. Then the three of them laughs.

They spends their short meeting by talking nonsense, throwing bad lame jokes, eating bad dumplings and drinking ridiculously expensive champagne WuFan bought at the airport. LuHan brought a bag of cold steam buns he bought in China just before he flew to Seoul. The owner still ignores them when they don't order anything. The store doesn't join the Christmas festive at all as if the owner never cares at the first place. It is really a stupid and un-Christmas-y way to spend the beautiful Christmas night but it is perfect for them. It is everything they wish to do. But like another childish fairytale, the magic is eventually worn off. They have to go back to their reality.

Minseok feels like he is blessed at this moment. LuHan and WuFan are here beside him, healthy and happy. It feels like a miracle. A miracle in December. Their meeting is short and it feels like a dream. It leaves him with a void feeling the moment LuHan and WuFan have to go back to their respective place but he can't have it any other way.

He never regrets meeting them. He never regrets trusting them. He never regrets leaning on them and let his guard down around them. He never regrets letting them go.

He never regrets loving them.